The Words I Couldn't Say

Show - Gossip Girl.

Pairing - Dan & Blair/ Dair.

Summary - When Dan decides to unexpectedly visit Blair, he finds her in her room. Singing?…Why is Blair singing? What does Dan discover? And what words that Dan and Blair couldn't say, finally come out?


A/N Hey! This is just a one shot, that I wrote for fun cause I was bored lol. I know I haven't updated my other Dair fic 'What happens when we stop fighting it' yet, but I'm almost finished the 3rd chapter so that should be updated soon guys :) Anyways this is just a one shot that I thought of today and wanted to write , it's quite random lol but I suppose that it is rather fitting for me because I am random! Besides, Leighton Meester is a really good singer, so I though this would be appropriate. I love her songs, I thought "Words I couldn't say" fit the Dair situation pretty well. So that's what song I have used in this. Haha, anyways please read and review to tell me what you think. Thanks!

Disclaimer - I don't own the gossip girl characters…unfortunately *sigh* I also don't own the song "Words I Couldn't Say" the awesome Leighton Meester does.


Dan was in his flat in Brooklyn alone. He sighed and continued to pace around his apartment. He began to tap his fingers on his thigh bopping his head to the beat he had invented. Yes he was bored. Very bored. He had tried to sit down and read, even write many, many times that night but he just couldn't seem to concentrate on anything tonight. Dan sighed again and decided that he was going to visit Blair. Ah yes, Blair Waldorf had become the person who he always seemed to run to these days, he didn't quite no why but she was. Without another thought, Dan picked up his keys, grabbed his jacket and headed to the Upper East Side.

Dan entered Blair's apartment, he looked around, hoping Blair was downstairs but she wasn't. She must be in her room, Dan thought. So with that, he headed for the stairs and began to make his way to Blair's room. On his way up, Dan started to question himself, maybe he shouldn't go up, maybe he should turn around and go home and Blair would never know he came to hers. I mean Blair would probably flip out at him being here , after all she was still adamant that their 'friendship'…or whatever it was, was to be kept a secret. God forbid that Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf were actually spotted together. Dan stopped second guessing himself and continued to walk up the stairs, if Blair was going to be mad then he would just have to deal with it. As he reached the top of the stairs, he approached Blair's room. Her door was slightly open. Dan heard singing and assumed Blair was listening to music. He peeked his head through the door and raised his hand to knock when suddenly he stopped and stared at the sight before him. Blair Waldorf was sitting on her bed, singing. Yes, the singing was not coming from a radio or a disc player, it was coming directly from Blair's lips. Dan froze mesmerised by Blair and her voice. He lowered his arm and step back slightly from the door so he couldn't be seen, watching - and listening to Blair in amazement.

"There it was at the tips of my fingers,

there it was on the tip of my tongue,

there you were and I had never been that far,

there it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms,

And I let it slip away."

Blair sang her words with so much passion evident in her voice. Dan was in complete shock at the sincerity and anguish present on her face. This song must mean a lot to her he thought.

"What do I do now, your gone,

No back up plan, no second chance, no one else to blame,

All I can hear in the silence that remains,

Are the words I couldn't say."

Dan still couldn't believe what he was hearing. Who knew Blair Waldorf could sing? But yes, she could. In fact she could sing amazingly. Dan studied Blair's face, it was so full of emotion and something he couldn't quite label. But he knew it was something magical. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling this song had something to do with him , and that made him feel incredible. Dan couldn't contain the smile that spread across his face as he continued to listen to Blair sing, his eyes never once leaving her face.

"There's a rain that will never stop fallin'

There's a wall that I tried to take down,

What I should have said just wouldn't pass my lips,

So I held back and now we've come to this.

And it's too late now."

Blair's voice got stronger and stronger as she sang her song. The emotion in her voice and face also shone out more as the song progressed. Dan listened to the lyrics she had sang and recited them in his head. "There's a wall that I tried to take down" Dan thought of how much, he wished for Blair to take down the wall she had firmly put up for him. Yes, there were moments when he had thought he had finally broke through it…but then he would be back at square one, with Blair pushing him away again.

"What I should have said just wouldn't pass my lips." Dan though of all the words he wished he had said to Blair. He wanted to tell her how he felt, and how he was confused at his thoughts about her. She had always been, Blair Waldorf, Queen Bee and well he was Dan Humphrey, Lonely Boy or Cabbage patch as Blair would say. She was everything he had hated about the Upper East Side - and more. At least she used to be. Now, when he looked at her he didn't see Blair Waldorf. He saw Blair, and Dan liked Blair a lot. It was almost inconceivable, and if anyone had told him even just a year ago that he would become 'friends' with Blair Waldorf, that he would enjoy spending time with Blair Waldorf, that he had things in common with Blair Waldorf, and that he actually liked Blair Waldorf ,then he would have called them up on their absolute lunacy. Yet, it was true. He did do all those things and he did like Blair, in fact, he maybe even felt more than that, which is pretty unbelievable but true.

Dan zoned back in on Blair singing as she finished her song.

"What do I do now, your gone,

No back up plan, no second chance, no one else to blame,

All I can hear in the silence that remains,

Are the words I couldn't say."

Blair finished with a powerful end note, a single tear falling down her cheek as she sang it. Dan had never saw Blair like this, she looked so vulnerable. That was a rare occurrence with Blair as she always had her self-protective walls up. Dan cleared his throat then froze in the spot as Blair's head shot up. Uh oh Dan thought, why did he have to clear his throat so loud? Idiot. He had never expected to find Blair singing, so when he did he decided to leave unnoticed after she finished her song, because he knew that she wouldn't want anyone, especially him to hear her sing. Now he had been busted. Dan forced a gauche smile, in hope that Blair would keep her cool. His smile faltered when he saw Blair's eyes change from shock to anger in a matter of seconds. Blair's furious eyes burned into Dan's apologetic ones. She burst up from her bed and angrily strode over to Dan.

"Humphrey! What are you doing here? Were you spying on me?" She yelled. Before Dan could answer she added "How long have you been here?" Blair narrowed her eyes and placed a hand on her hip, awaiting Dan's reply.

"Blair relax. I'm sorry I was bored and I decided to come see you. I don't know why actually, I just thought about you, well not that that I was thinking about you per say, you just kinda popped up into my thoughts and…" Dan rambled on as Blair stood impatiently listening to him.

"Humphrey, answer the question." Blair interrupted.

"Oh right, the eh question. Or questions, plural more like - yes I will stop rambling now" Dan said flustered. Dan cleared his throat again. Okay I'm the one that has to relax now he thought. Dan composed himself and answered Blair. "So, no Blair I was not spying on you. I was actually going to leave, but then you sorta saw me. And I've only been here for a few minutes."

Blair sighed and softened her expression slightly. Yes she was mad at Dan. I mean, no-one has heard her sing before. Ever. Singing was her thing, her secret passion - other than fashion of course. Blair now felt over-exposed and uncomfortable around Dan. But she couldn't very well stay mad at him, because one; he hadn't deliberately walked in on her singing and two; she had developed somewhat of a soft spot for Daniel Humphrey, therefore she literally couldn't stay mad at him. Nevertheless Blair decided to give Dan a piece of her mind. "Well, you can't just come to my house anytime you want you know. Especially not my room. What if someone where to ever see you?" Blair put emphasis on 'my room' to let him know he had truly invaded her personal space. However, Blair couldn't block out the voice in her head that fought with her words. The voice saying, that she was happy that Dan was here, and that she liked him coming to her room. Blair shook the thoughts away and sighed.

"Look Blair I know, I'm sorry okay. Like I said, I was bored and I never thought that it would be a problem for me to come over." Dan replied sincerely. "I forgot that you were so ashamed of me." He added sarcastically.

Blair scoffed and glared at Dan. "Pity party for one please."

Dan let out a small laugh, and gestured at Blair to let him enter her room as they were currently still at her door. Blair paused for a second, pouted her lips, then gave in and dragged Dan into her room and closed the door. "Ah yes, close the door, you don't want anyone else to hear you. Speaking of…" Dan started but Blair quickly interrupted him.

"Do not even think about it. Just shhh!" Blair warned.

Dan flopped on Blair's bed and smirked at her mischievously. "Well now, I personally am intrigued. I mean, Blair Waldorf singing? I think I'm still in shock to tell you the truth." Dan dramatically placed his hand on his forehead, and dropped backward onto the bed. He began to laugh.

What a jerk Blair thought, she picked up one of her pillows and hit Dan in the stomach with it. Dan stopped laughing, and moved himself back up on the bed.

"Ouch" he said feigning hurt. Blair looked at him, annoyance written all over her face.

"I told you to be quiet. Now drop it or it won't be a pillow I will be hitting you with next time Humphrey." Blair said sarcastically, forcing a sweet smile as she spoke.

Dan stifled a laugh, "Okay fine, I will drop it." He said.

"Your wise." Blair replied. She then went over and sat beside Dan on the bed.

A few moments of silence passed then Dan turned round to Blair. " So what was your song about? It looked pretty intense." he asked.

Blair huffed and slapped his thigh with her hand. "I thought we decided to drop this." she said annoyed.

"Well, we did. Now I'm curious as to what your song was about." or who it was about he thought to himself. "Oh and your surprisingly a very good singer." Dan added.

"We are dropping this right now. It wasn't about anything!" Blair replied frustrated. "...and thank you."

Dan couldn't help but laugh again, Blair was adorable when she was mad. Actually, she was adorably full stop he thought. "Blair come on" Dan pleaded. "That couldn't possibly have been about nothing. It clearly was very important to you, I mean your face said it all Blair." He stared at Blair hoping to break her.

"Drop it Humphrey or I swear. I will hurt you"

"Just tell me. What's to hide? So you write songs….I write poems their practically the same thing."

"No they are not. They are very different actually." Blair said defiantly. Okay they weren't that different but Blair did not want to admit to yet another similarity to Dan Humphrey. "Drop it." she added when she saw Dan was about to reply.

"Tell me." Dan retorted.

"Drop it." Blair said with more emphasis.

Dan sighed. He clearly wasn't going to get anywhere with Blair. She obviously didn't want to tell him about her songs, so he decided to respect her privacy. "Fine. I just wanted to know because… you are amazing Blair." Dan said sincerity clear in his voice once more.

A blush crept onto Blair's cheeks. Sending her whole face a crimson red colour. She smiled, a genuine smile at Dan. He always knew how to make her feel special. "Thank you Humphrey. I mean that. It's just, my songs are very personal and I do not share them with anyone so I'm already embarrassed enough that you heard me."

Dan understood. Her songs where for her. Sometimes he didn't want anyone to read his poetry. Yes he loved getting praised on his work, but a select few were his and his alone. They where deep, meaningful and much too personal for any other eyes but his own to read. "I know. I get that with my poetry sometimes. You wrote it for you."

"Exactly." Blair nodded. Well, not exactly. Blair had actually written it for someone, not her, but that wasn't the point and Dan Humphrey certainly didn't need to know that."

"It's just, your lyrics…I thought…" Dan was unsure if he wanted to continue his sentence. He bit his bottom lip and lowered his eyes.

"Thought what?" Blair questioned.

"Ha! Nothing" Dan laughed it of, still refusing to regain eye contact with Blair.

"No, go on. Don't start what you can't finish." Blair probed.

"I thought you were the one who wanted to drop all the talk on your song Blair." Dan challenged as he moved his head up and looked directly into Blair's eyes.

"Well now I changed my mind. Spill." Blair raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms over her chest. A few seconds of silence passed and Blair added "I'm waiting."

Not one to shy away from his thoughts, Dan decided to be honest. "Fine if you insist." Blair nodded her head to agree that she did insist. "As ridiculous as this may sound, although it seems everything sounds ridiculous when it comes to us-" Dan started. "I though maybe you had written the song about someone. You know due to the certain thing that may have happened between you and them." Dan said.

Blair looked at Dan quizzically. "Hmm. Okay. I don't understand where you are going with this." Lies. Blair knew exactly where Dan was going, he was making it pretty obvious, and although she hadn't reacted when he said it, she noticed his use of "us" So he was no doubt referring to them, and what frightened her is that maybe he was heading in the right direction.

"Okay. To be less subtle. I think you wrote that song about someone Blair. Even less subtle-" Dan paused for a moment and then cleared his throat before finishing. "I think that someone is me."

Blair let out a fake laugh and looked away from Dan. "I think someone is getting a little carried away with themselves." she said playfully . She then got up from the bed, turning away from Dan.

"No I think someone is right." he said as he stood up, turning Blair around to face him.

Blair couldn't help the shiver she felt at Dan's touch. A tingling sensation sailed through the arm he placed his hand on. She tried hard to not let any of what she was feeling to show on her face. Instead she pouted and said, "That there is the difference between you and me Humphrey. You think you are right. I am right." She smiled teasingly.

Dan laughed. Classis Blair Waldorf, always quick to deny her feelings and put up her defences. Dan however, wasn't going to let this one go. He just had a feeling that that song had something to do with him, and if it did then that would mean there was hope. "Come on Blair. You're telling me that had nothing to do with what happened between us last week?" Dan asked as he stepped closer to Blair.

Last week. There it was. Blair was wondering how long it would take for that to be mentioned. Ah yes, last week was when Dan and Blair has kissed. Of course it was only to prove there was nothing between them. "Humphrey are you still hung up on that?" Blair asked humorously. Trying to diffuse the situation before it got to intense again.

"Very funny" Dan quipped. "But you know that what I'm saying is true. I mean, we never even addressed what happened last week. You simply said goodnight and I left Blair." Dan said frustrated.

"I was tired, and what was there to talk about? You kissed me to prove there wasn't anything between us and that is that." Blair said, trying to keep the butterflies in her stomach at bay as Dan moved closer to her yet again. They were now only a few inches apart.

"You really think we proved it?" Dan challenged. "…and by the way you kissed me." he corrected her smugly.

"Only because you where talking forever! And of course we… proved it." Blair's voice trailed of at the end as Dan inched closer towards her. He raised one hand and gently touched her collar bone, stroking her shoulder. Deja vu. Their eyes were locked brown against brown. Mirroring each other. Blair felt slightly dazed, Dan was totally invading her personal space again and she just couldn't think when they where this close. She was too flustered and Blair Waldorf does not get flustered.

"Blair" Dan whispered. His eyes searching for true answers in hers instead of the lies that where spilling out her mouth.

"I don't know what you want me to say." Blair whispered back. This time she was being sincere. Blair was so confused, she didn't know what to think, what to do or what to say. Her feelings had been building up - for a long time now, and this was it. This was the moment where they were going to come out. No more running.

"The truth" Dan stated simply. He saw the tears in Blair's chocolate brown eyes build up as she nodded, and he knew that she was feeling very vulnerable now. Just like when she had been singing her song. That was because all the feeling Blair had poured into her song were about Dan. She had expressed her feelings the only way she knew how, through her song, and she had poured her heart and soul into it. She had wished that after they kissed, that she had told him how she felt. That she did feel something. In fact she felt everything. Those where the words she couldn't say. So she had wrote them.

"I-" Blair started but her voice gave way. Dan gave her shoulder an encouraging squeeze and she continued. "I don't know what to say because this, what I'm feeling, is very unexpected. So I'll tell you that you where right. It was about you" Blair admitted. Finally, she had been truthful. No more fighting it, no more running away scared of what might happen if she ever gave in to her feelings…Scared of the response.

Luckily for Blair, Dan knew what he was feeling and with that, Dan closed the gap between him and Blair, capturing her mouth with his own. This kiss was different from their first one. For starters, he initiated it, and took dominance this time. This kiss was also more passionate. The feelings that both Dan and Blair had been harbouring knowingly for months and unknowingly for years, exploded into this kiss. Dan's arms moved from her shoulder and gently grabbed her more towards him, as he done this Blair snaked her arms around his neck. When air became an issue, Dan and Blair placed their foreheads together, breathlessly gazing into one another's eyes. A smile broke out on both their faces, a huge feeling of relief washing through them. This was how it was supposed to be. Dan and Blair, together.

"I knew I was right." Dan added teasingly. Giving Blair a mischievous look.

"Oh shut up Humphrey and kiss me again." Blair ordered playfully.

"I don't need to be told twice." Dan smirked, and with that he once again captured Blair's mouth in a passionate, longing, earth shattering kiss.

Dan smiled at Blair as he tucked a fallen strand of her hair behind her ear. " I guess it's wasn't too late."

"What?" Blair asked confused.

"Your song lyric. You said 'And it's too late now.' I guess you where wrong Waldorf." Dan grinned.

"I guess so." Blair laughed. "I thought it was though, because the lyrics… they where the word's I couldn't say." Blair stated shyly.

"Well then, I'm glad I came over unexpectedly and heard them" Dan smiled.

"Me too." Blair smiled back.

Dan leaned back in and kissed Blair again, this time the kiss was softer and more intimate.

"We can tell people about us now right?" Dan asked jokingly. Blair laughed and burrowed her head in Dan's neck.

A muffled "Yes." could be heard.

With that, Dan lifted Blair's chin and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

Oh yes. The Upper East Side better be ready for Dan and Blair.


Well there you go, that's my Dair one shot. Hopefully you liked it. I had fun writing this one. Please review as it means so much to me, I love to hear what you think and/ or how I can improve. Thank you.

Much love, Nicola xoxo