Title:
Fistful of Boomstick: Supernatural Meets the Evil Dead
Author:
Lassroyale
Rating:
R
Warnings:
Some violence, definitely some sex, boomsticks, CRACK!fic, Cas!sexual
Ash & Sam, Crossover
Spoilers:
All of Season 4 to be safe
Pairings:
Dean/Castiel, Ash/Castiel(?) Sam/Castiel (?) EveryonexCastiel
(heh)
Summary: When the Winchesters go to investigate a seal being threatened in Grand Rapids, MI they meet up with the infamous Ash Williams. Ash knows a thing or two about the deadites…and seems to have his eye on a certain Angel, much to Dean's displeasure. Meanwhile, Sam is questioning something he saw late one night and how it's making him feel.
A/N This is an idea that was born from the latest Quick Fire Challenge 4-word propmpt: Ceased, Crackpot, Predesting, Spokesman. I've decided to run with it and play around with it. Updates may be slow for this verse as I want to concentrate on my other story as well.
The title: Fistful of Boomstick is taken from a 2006 Evil Dead videogame. Onwards!
Chapter 1: Pretty Lips and All
The day had started out normally enough, which should have struck the Winchesters as unusual right away. Sam had been sitting by the window reading up on some local news on the computer, studiously ignoring the small, inappropriate grunts of pleasure emitting from his brother as Dean tucked into a whole – yes a whole – cherry pie.
"Dean, do you think you could, I don't know, do that quietly? It's reminding me of that time I walked in on you and Castiel and dude…not an image I want to have right now," complained Sam after a particularly lewd groan. His brother only gave his trademark "devil never cares" grin and took another huge bite of pie, sure to punctuate the action with a drawn-out moan of bliss.
"You gotta appreciate the small things in life, Sammy and cherry pie ranks right up there with that thing Cas does with his wings while bent over all –"
"STOP! NOT an image I want!" exclaimed Sam with a glare. His mind however, did automatically travel back to that fateful night. He averted his eyes quickly and tried to concentrate on the words computer screen, but all he could think about right then was feathers. Lots and lots of soft, tickling, feathers.
"I don't know when you ceased being cool, Sammy, but I know you're not that much of a prude. I've seen ya check out Cas…jus' sayin' I'm all right with it. Look but don't touch, yannow?" Dean paused long enough in his pie eating to give Sam a pointed look, before shoveling another bite into his mouth.
Before Sam could answer, there was a displacement of air and the two brothers were not alone in the room anymore. Both turned automatically to look at Castiel who stood next to Dean, and was staring intently at a red smear on the corner of the Hunter's mouth. Without warning, the Angel bent forward and licked the cherry filling from Dean's lower lip with slow, long drag of his of his tongue. Sam blushed and made a muted noise of protest, while Dean's eyes glazed over, becoming heavy with lust. Castiel straightened and stood still for a moment,with a slight furrow creasing his smooth brow, apparently deep in thought.
"That is not my favorite flavor, Dean. I prefer apple." He tilted his head and regarded Sam's blush, blinking those too-blue eyes once before addressing both Winchesters.
"There is a seal in Grand Rapids, Michigan that is being threatened. From what we can gather, there has been an increase in Demonic activity there. An unusual breed of Demon has been attacking the town, at random. It seems they like possessing dead bodies.
The lust cleared from Dean's eyes at the mention of a seal..
"You are to meet up with somebody who lives there who has fought these types of Demons many times before. Some think he is…'a crackpot', but he has extensive knowledge on how to fight these creatures. You might say he is an expert."
"What's his name?" asked Sam dubiously.
"Ash Williams," replied Castiel, before turning and disappearing.
~~~~~ ** ~~~~~
"Yo she-bitch, let's go!"
It turned out that it wasn't hard to locate Ash Williams once the Winchesters arrived in Grand Rapids. In fact, Dean almost hit him with the Impala as a man with a large chin and a sawed off shotgun ran across the street and blew the head off of a rotting corpse that was running straight for him.
"Does that guy have a fuckin' chainsaw for a hand?!" exclaimed Dean. He grinned, "This dude is awesome!"
Ash turned and glared at the front end of the Impala and marched angrily up to the driver's side window. He tapped on the glass with the butt of his shotgun.
"Yo knucklehead, if you're done being the spokesman for bad driving get'off the road. You're in my way."
It was Sam's turn to grin as Dean sputtered indignantly, cutting in before his brother could formulate a reply.
"Are you Ash Williams?" he asked, politely of course. It was usually a bad idea to be rude to a man with a chainsaw for a hand.
"Who's askin?" replied the dark-haired man. He peered closer at the two and recognition flashed through his brown eyes. "Oh, you're the two eggheads that pretty boy was talkin' about earlier. Preachin' predestining or something that we would meet, blah blah blah." He snorted, holstered his shotgun, and yanked open the passenger side door. "Well groovy, let's go. We've got some deadites to give make-overs to."
"You mean Castiel?" asked Dean with an edge to his voice as Ash climbed into the backseat of the car.
"The blue-eyed 'angel' with the sex hair? Yeah, him. He could kiss my boomstick any day if you two boneheads catch my drift. Not that I swing that way, comprende? Just somethin' about those eyes…"
Dean's knuckles were white on the steering wheel as he peeled off down the road, heading towards the local bar where Ash said they could get some more information about the current "uglies" infestation. Sam leaned towards him and whispered sotto voce,
"You don't think he's that awesome anymore, do you?" He snickered at the glare his brother gave him.
"Screw you Sammy. I'm just sayin' if I find out he tried to touch Cas I'm gonna shove my boomstick so far up his ass…"
"I doubt Cas would like that," laughed Sam.
"If you two ladies are done up there, let's go. Don't wanna keep pretty lips waiting."
"I'm gonna kill him," grumbled Dean.
(TBC)
