Hey, this is a story I really need feedback for! It is for school and I really want feedback from people who will be honest and tell me where I can improve.
The story is based off "Journeys of the heart."
Sonia paced the waiting room waiting for an update. The last time a nurse had spoken to her she had simply needed to sign a consent form for some kind of procedure. She couldn't recall what the procedure entailed or why it was being performed, the only words she could remember were "Without this your husband will lose his life."
"Do whatever you have to." She had replied before signing the form.
He can't die, he can't die. I can't lose him, not like this. The thought replayed itself over and over again in Sonia's head. She found herself replaying the actions that led to her being here, that led to her husband fighting for his life.
Edward had arrived home from work at midday. There was a short discussion about the emergency ward being packed again and the shortage of nurses on his shift. She had fixed him lunch and after he had eaten he went upstairs to sleep. He slept for a few hours before his pager had sounded. He was downstairs quickly and grabbing his car keys. He gave Sonia a quick kiss before heading back to the hospital.
Sonia had started to clean the kitchen, also thinking about what she should cook for dinner. It was in the process of this that the phone had rung. She had picked it up expecting it to be another telemarketer.
"Sonia, it's Margret." The woman's voice spoke. Sonia had met Margret quite a few times; she was one of the nurses that worked at the hospital with Edward. "Edward's here."
"I know, he got paged." She replied, confused.
"Sonia, he just arrived in an ambulance. There was an accident."
Sonia didn't hear any more, she had already hung up and her keys were in her hand. When she arrived she was told another car had run a red light and collided with Edward's car.
Someone approaching bought Sonia back to the waiting room. As Margret approached the look on her face told her what was going to be said. She felt the world fall from beneath her as her legs gave way and she hit the floor.
* * *
The doctor watched as the monitor flat lined. He took a breath before calling it. "Time of death 17:13." He fought off the grief of losing a friend and turned his attention to Edward's heart. He watched as it was bagged and placed on ice. The organ transplant team entered the theatre and retrieved the cargo before exiting the room.
* * *
Troy sat by his wife, watching her as she slept. She had lost so much energy in the last week. He knew what this meant, she would be leaving him soon. The doctor had told him she didn't have long left. He had even begun to make the arrangements for Bella to be moved back home, he knew she hated hospitals and had told him once that when the time came she wanted to be home.
He took her hand in his, letting the tears fall down his face. It was the only time he would let his grief show, he hated to burden her with anything more. His fingers stroked the gold band on her finger, remembering the smile that had graced her face on their day. It was just before she had fallen ill. He would give anything to see that smile again.
His thoughts were interrupted when Bella's doctor entered the room. He closed the door behind him and turned to Troy. The smile on his face and a simple nod gave Troy the answer he had waited so long to hear.
Bella had a new heart.
New tears welled in his eyes and cascaded down his cheeks. A smile broke across his face and for the first time in months he felt hope.
"We need to prep her for surgery in an hour." The doctor spoke before leaving the room.
Troy turned to Bella, as much as he hated to wake her he had to be the one to tell her. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at her husband. As he spoke the words she had waited so long to hear a smile that had been long absent spread across her face. She felt her husband's arms wrap around her and heard him whisper his love for her. They both basked in the light of their miracle and thanked whoever it was that granted their wish.
* * *
Bella stood in the middle of her backyard. She held the letter she had written to her savior in her hand. She had heard of people writing letters to the family of their donor and thanking them, but she wanted to say thank you in a more personal way. She had written a letter to the person who had granted her life, and she would be the only one to read it. She held the lighter up to the piece of paper in her hands and watched as her letter burned. As her message carried in the smoke drifted toward the one who gave her their heart.
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Thank you for reading!
