Title: Those Things Unsaid
Summary: "Sam, if you just came here to kill some time, now's really—" "No. No. I…kinda need to tell you something." Sam has an 'epiphany' after almost falling to her death in "iQuit iCarly." Missing moment?
A/N: Sudden inspiration after watching a re-run of "iQuit iCarly." *Sigh*…Season 3 is so much better than Season 4. And yes. If you have a problem with…what's it called, "Present Tense Writing"? Well then, don't read. Past tense isn't really my comfort zone. Oh, and. I'm pretty sure Sam and Fredlumps are a little OOC. ;P
OH, and. Yeah. I'm a little confuzzled on the whole fire escape system…so. xD
She bites her lip, trying to figure out how exactly to go about this, and it kills her because scared or nervous isn't a word that's supposed to be in her dictionary.
"So…"
There's an awkward moment before Freddie sighs, and turns around from his current position, sitting in a folding chair just looking at the surrounding Seattle, to give her a look. "Sam, if you just came here to kill some time, now's really—"
"No. No. I…kinda need to tell you something." With a deep breath, she drops onto the fire escape from the window, and she brings herself to sit on the steps, willing her legs not to shake. His close proximity only scares her more, and she kind of hates him for it because no guy should be able to do this to her.
"So."
"..So."
Another awkward moment, and she doesn't quite know how to deal with it because usually, this kind of silence is filled with bicker and banter and arguing and insults and nicknames and all that chizz, but tonight, the instinct to fight just isn't up.
Freddie makes a sort of noise in the back of his throat, and fiddles with the edge of his (striped) shirt. "So, you needed to tell me…?"
She lets out a shaky breath, and wills herself to relax. It's just Freddie.
"Yeah. So, you know how me and Carls kinda almost died today?" she ask casually, and she's amazed at how calm she can sound, saying that.
Freddie grows quiet, and responds with a short "Yeah." Sam is quiet for a moment, too, gauging his reaction. The radio plays soft music in the background.
"So, when I was…s-slipping, I had this sort of…epiphany."
"An epiphany?" Freddie raises an eyebrow, and Sam nervously plays with the end of her sleeves, replying "…Yup. An epiphany. Er, well…I had this moment, when I realized I still had so much left undone. Things that I'd regret never doing, you know?"
He looks at her, really looks at her, warm brown eyes meeting bright blue before his eyes travel quickly back to the floor and he replies with another gruff "Yeah."
Sam takes a deep breath before she spills over. "Well, I realized I had so much that I need to do, before I can actually, you know, die. Like…I never told Carly how much she means to me. Yeah, she knows that we're best friends, but I've never told her that I'm so lucky to have a best friend like her; she's the sister I've never had and always wanted, the girl that I owe the fact that I'm not in Juvie by now, the Carly I can't imagine my life without. And how I was so, so stupid in how I let Fleck and Dave's fight come in the way of our friendship and how sorry I am. And my mom. I never told her that I love her, even if she's such a drunk most of the times and a real Casanova, and she doesn't exactly deserve the mother of the year award, but…she's my mother and I've never taken a moment out of my life to tell her that she means the world to me, to appreciate all that she's done for me, to tell her that I might seem ungrateful but I'm not."
Freddie only nods. He can't say that he's not surprised at how serious Sam seems to be now, like almost falling and dying had matured her, had changed her and she'd lost her sort of childish innocence and carefree attitude.
"And Melanie? I've never told her how…how I don't really hate her per se, and how I'm really just envious of how good she is and how Mom loves her more and how she's an amazing person and if it was anyone but me, I'd love her and probably want to spend every waking moment with a sister like her. And then Spencer; I've never told him that he's the brother that I've always wanted to have with me and how I love him (platonically, of course) to bits even though I might make his life hellish sometimes."
There is a moment of silence as Freddie takes in what Sam has said and when he has processed all that she has said, he turns to her and asks quietly "…And me?"
She opens her mouth, and then shuts. Her face pales. He can almost visibly see her backing out, not saying what she just has to say and he instinctively grabs her hand with his. Cold skin contacts with warm and there's a moment when their eyes meet and then it's him to backing away, dropping her hand like it's hothot fire and he mumbles out a quick "Sorry," and he thinks he can see a kindle of disappointment in her eyes, but it distinguishes before he can properly label it.
"…And you."
Freddie gazes the scenery of the Seattle night sky, and waits for Sam to continue. He doesn't have to wait long.
"Right. Um. You. I…"
Her voice sort-of-breaks, and he does nothing but wait. Patiently wait, because if he believes in fate and God and all that other crap, and if she's meant to tell him something important, then she would, and all it would take was time.
"When I first met you…I'd never thought I'd be here, years later and being so…close, to you. I mean, you were such a geek. Honestly."
He snorts. "Thanks." She laughs, and playfully pokes his shoulder. She seems to be much more comfortable now, not so stiff and serious as she had been a few moments ago; back in character, the Sam Puckett Freddie's come to embrace from enemy, to co-worker, to frenemy, to…whatever this thing is, now. "Well, you can't deny it's not true."
He just rolls her eyes, and she continues on. "I don't hate you, you know?"
He smirks. "Is that what you're planning to tell me? Cuz I already knew that. I mean, if you hated me, you wouldn't have agreed to…"
His voice trails off, and the tension is back in the air, because they're both reminded of that, that thing that they both shared here, that night.
Sam clears her throat, and goes on. "No, Benson, that's not what I was going to say. I was going to say that…"
"That?"
A red tinge appears on her cheeks. "That I kinda sorta like—"
"FREDDIE? FREDDIE, IT'S YOUR BED TIME. SWEETIE? DID YOU HEAR ME? IT'S—oh, Saman—Sam. How…supri—…wait, how'd you get up here?"
Sam rolls her eyes at the loud source of interruption, but is secretly grateful, because she hadn't been quite sure she'd be able to finish that confession. "Oh, I got my methods…"
She grins cheekily, and Mrs. Benson looks positively freaked out before she shakes her head, and gives Freddie the signal that he needs to 'wrap things up'. With one last paranoid glance at Sam, she leaves.
...And the awkward is back.
"…That you like?"
Damnit. Sam's heart pounds loudly in her chest, and she licks her dry lips. She can feel her nails biting into her skin as she clenches her fists tight, willing the courage to finish her previous statement. "That I…"
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick—
"Oh, hey, it's a shooting star!"
The blonde smiles at Freddie's childishness, but joins him anyway at the edge of the fire escape, searching the sky for said shooting star. "Make a wish" she hears him murmur, and she closes her eyes, and there's only one thing she's wishing for and tonight, it's wasted on a boy, that boy, that geek of a tech producer who's probably still in love with her best friend but she wishes anyway, because she's kind of always been a d r e a m e r.
A moment later, she opens her eyes slowly, and finds him staring at her, and he faintly blushes when she catches him and when he quickly turns his eyes back to the stars, a comfortable silence develops.
"So…see you at school tomorrow?"
And Freddie looks taken back for a moment because they both know there are things unsaid here but then he just smiles, and agrees, and lets whatever happens, happen.
if it's meant to be, it will be… ~ "Overboard" by Justin Bieber featuring Jessica Jerrall
A/N: …Sorry for the sudden JB lyrics. It's just, that one line's been buggin me for the entire time when I was typing this up…so. And yes. Freddie was wearing a striped shirt. Would you like to check? I did xP
Oh, and pretty please review! Even if it's just a tiny "Good," or something. Or you can flame me. That's alright, too. Just watch your back for the next few days….like Taylor Swift says in one of her songs…. "She should keep in mind (she should keep in mind) there is nothing I do BETTER THAN REVENGE" xD
And originally, I was going to have Sam confess to Freddie that she likes him. And then, I decided I wanted this to fit in with cannon, and the only way to not have Freddie reject her (since in the next episode, he's dating Carly so obviously he's not over Carly yet) was to have her not confess. And the little shooting star thing just…hit me. Randomness FTW! xD
And if I don't have epic writing skillz….well, sorry. Mind you, I'm 13. I know I have lots of improving to do.
