Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognize.
Dedication: Casper the Ginger
August 3rd, 1948
I was diagnosed with Stage VI Kidney Cancer and Stage II Liver Cancer. The tumors spread at a rapid pace and the doctor said he couldn't do anything about it. Some days I don't even realize that I'm sick, but other days it is pure torture. Those are the days that I most wish that I had drunk the spring water at 17, but my life with Nathan would be nonexistent.
The Tucks, they crossed my mind now and again and I let my mind wander to them. Questions on their welfare and whereabouts were always raised. They were alive, which is more than some people know about their loved ones, but their loved ones aren't more than 150 years old. But what if always crosses too, what if I had joined them and lived out forever? An unbearable pain shot across my abdomen that caused me to cringe.
The pain ebbed away and I started to feel drained. That was a constant, becoming fatigued from nothing. My eyelids began to feel heavy and I started to drift to sleep.
Winnie's 1st Dream: Her Eleventh Birthday (September 17th, 1881)
I changed into my nightgown after an eventful day. My family celebrated with me and I had received dresses, a music box, hair combs, and the permission to head into Treegap. My imprisonment was finally over! Ever since I had traded spots with Mae that fateful night, my family has been watching me like a hawk and keeping me on a leash the length of the collar itself.
I do understand that it wasn't the smartest idea to free a prisoner, but that prisoner was my friend and I felt indebted to her. I'd asked if they would do the same thing and they said they would, but they still didn't understand me.
It did feel great to be another year older. To be one step closer to making my own decisions and actually being my own person was exhilarating. Even if I am just 11 I feel more mature and trustworthy. If only my family would see it too. I wonder if the Tucks feel any different on their birthdays. I would suppose not because when you're not really aging you don't feel a gigantic change on your birthday. The changes would probably happen all the time or rarely.
Not aging is such a hard concept to really grasp. Aging was always something I had hoped for. To age mentally, physically, and experience life with other people was something to look forward to. Jesse's proposition was such a tossup. Did I really want to stay 17 forever and live it out with him and his family? Don't get me wrong I do love the Tucks, but forever is well… forever. Could I stay tightlipped about my immortality, their immortality, or the spring water forever? Would I slip up eventually and cause a mess too large to fix?
I grabbed my brush with the thick bristles and sat down at my vanity. Gently I pulled the brush down through my locks. Suddenly, a loud knock interrupted my train of thought. "May I come in?" a voice called out, it was my father. "Yes father," I replied and kept brushing my hair. Satisfied that it was mostly untangled I began to put it in a braid to the side.
He entered and took a seat on my bed. He watched me braid my hair and a wistful smile appeared on his face. "You're growing up so fast," he commented. I laughed softly and said, "Don't worry; I still have a few years left before I'm grown up."
He chuckled. "To comment on your growing was not my purpose to come in here though. Your mother and I agreed that you can go out to the town now, but you have to tell us why you traded spots with that woman in August," he started.
"I did it because the Tucks had helped me so I had to help them." I answered vaguely while tying a ribbon to the end of my braid hoping it wouldn't come loose.
"What did they help you with that your family couldn't help you with?" my father replied certainly intrigued now.
"Well they helped me see the world in a different way. When they were younger they had all gone through some painful experiences and wanted to give me some advice for adulthood." I replied hoping that the conversation was over. Sadly, I was wrong; my answer seemed to make my father even more interested.
"Where did you meet them anyway?" he further interrogated.
"In the wood," I answered meekly knowing that was the answer he hadn't expected.
"And what in the world were you doing in there?" he cried exasperatedly.
"Just exploring," I continued in the same meek voice.
"Unbelievable," he whispered, "my own daughter going out to our wood and learning life lessons with trespassers on our property," as he walked out of my room.
I must have given an answer to ponder because my father rarely walks out of a conversation.
Winnie's 2nd Dream: One Year After Her "Kidnapping" (August 3, 1882)
The first week of August was silent and unbearably hot like last year's. Though the weather was like déjà vu that was the only common occurrence. The Tucks wouldn't be meeting at the spring, I wouldn't be "kidnapped," and the man in the yellow suit wouldn't be trying to sell the water again.
I hoped, I would see the boy who stole my 10 year old heart, but I knew it was much too soon for them to come back around again. With the constable still around and hoping he could jail the entire family was far too risky.
In the lightest outfit I owned, I trekked my way into the village hoping to find an adventure nearly as exciting as last year's. I stopped in at the store, the only building remotely cool, for a refreshing bottle of lemonade the owner sold. As I was walking in a boy a year or two older than I bumped into me, nearly sending me to the ground. "Watch it!" I told him as he kept walking.
Faintly, I think I heard an "I'm sorry," but if I did it was drowned out by the tinkling above the door. "Miss Foster," the owner, Curtis, greeted jovially from the counter. Ever since I'd been able to enter the town by myself I became a regular here for lemonade and a conversation with Curtis when he wasn't too busy. I smiled in response at the fact that someone was so happy to see me. "A bottle of lemonade?" Curtis asked already knowing the answer and pulling a bottle out of the fridge. He popped the cap off for me and handed it over, putting the cost on my father's tab.
I took a refreshing sip of the lemonade when the bell tinkled above the door. "Curtis, did ya hear 'bout the property 20 miles north that got sold to some family? It was the property that the Foster girl was taken to last year." The gruff voice of the constable asked. He must not have seen me in the corner because he kept talking about the property and the Tuck's last year. "I haven't heard about that Lou," Curtis replied and his tone said he wanted the constable to leave.
"I still can't believe that Foster girl let that convict and her family free. James and his whole family always seemed like sticklers to the rules. Hard to believe one of his family members would go against the law. But it's great that someone moved into that hovel, about time someone tried to fix up that land into something respectable after the taint of the Tucks" Lou continued still not noticing me.
Not wanting to hear anymore, I wandered out of my corner into the constable's line of view. He stopped short of his next sentence and instead said, "Hello Miss Foster," with a slight flush. I hoped it was due to the shame of gossiping about someone and being caught. With my head held high and my nose slightly stuck up in the air I nodded curtly at him and walked out of the store with my lemonade. I was disappointed that I didn't find any excitement, just a chatty constable, dejectedly I walked back home.
Winnie's 3rd Dream: After Winnie's 17th Birthday (September 19th, 1887)
My birthday was the largest affair I had ever been to. Mother and Father had rented a huge ballroom the next town over and everyone in Treegap had attended. I had received some very nice gifts and some not very nice gifts that I was now hiding away in my bureau drawer.
My grandmother insisted on going to my party and I found out that evening her intent was to find me a suitor. Each boy she pointed out to me never seemed to measure up to someone that I couldn't quite put my finger on. They were too immature, too tall, too short, too heavy, too gangly, not intelligent, too stuffy, or something else that held me back from the idea of settling with them. Thankfully, my grandmother understood the dilemma, and realized that when I settled it would be for good. Considering both divorce and annulment were too messy and something I didn't want to have to be shamed for in my later years. Also the fact that I later realized that, the person that was on the tip of my tongue was Jesse and he still had my heart, and it reminded me of that proposition from years ago.
I was now at the age when I was supposed to drink the water and run off to the find the Tucks. The choice should be easy to make, but I was still in a limbo, My 10 year old heart wanted me to drink the water and run off. Live forever with the boy who had me smitten with him, but my rational side that had heard the side effects of living forever screamed and warned me not to and that I could never turn back. I just don't think I'm ready for that decision. However, I cannot wait until I know at age 30 that I want to live forever because marrying a 17 year old boy just sounds wrong.
I ventured out of the house into the still warm September sun. Hopefully when I reached the spring I would have a decision made. The gate was slightly ajar so I pushed it open more and shut it behind me. Around the side of the house I went to the back where the fence met the wood. It was noticeably cooler in there, but the same idyllic scene from 6 years ago met my eyes. The toad that I had saved was perched on a lily pad on a small pond past the spring.
Tentatively I approached the spring hoping the sight of it would give me the answer I've been searching for. To my disappointment it didn't give me a direct answer, but it did spark a question I had yet to ponder that may give me a verdict that my jury was still out on. What if there really was someone else out there that better suited me than Jesse? Settling with someone one had met very briefly at age 10 wasn't something that most people do and if they did it didn't work out. Jesse was someone that I as a 10 year old loved, but could my 17 year old self love him until the end of time? Is there someone out there that I haven't met that I'm supposed to live my mortal days out with?
Feeling that the uncertainties that would come from Jesse and immortality I made my decision hoping that there really was someone else out there that I'm supposed to meet. I turned my back on the spring and started walking back out of the wood.
Winnie's 4th Dream: Ten Years After Winnie's "Kidnapping" (August 3rd, 1891)
I knew this was an extremely small chance. A miniscule chance that would most likely prove false, but I knew I had to go out to the spring. The Tuck's met every ten years at the spring no matter where they were. Considering that they were still wanted in Treegap made the possibility of them coming back slim, but possible.
I walked out of the cottage with a canteen of ice water, a book, a small lunch and a blanket. Hurriedly I walked to the wood where a cool and damp air met me instead of the dry heat elsewhere. I spread the blanket out underneath the big tree for shade from the sun so I didn't get burnt and look like a tomato. I flipped open my book, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and became lost in the character of Dorian Gray who sold his soul for eternal youth and beauty.
I was jostled awake my firm, strong hand. My face was down in my book and my hair was fanned out around me. I lifted my head and hoped to meet the 17 year old face of Jesse Tuck, but alas I was disappointed and met an unknown face. Disappointed I sat up and looked more carefully at the young man. He had dark blond curls and kind, gunmetal blue eyes. "Are you Winnie?" he asked while studying me. I nodded mutely and began to stand up, my book lay forgotten on the ground. "You're father sent me out here to find you. I'm Nathan Jackson, your father is my mentor," he said while offering me a hand to get up.
I accepted his hand and began to pack up my forgotten lunch, canteen, book, and blanket and told him, "Nice to meet you and thanks for finding me before I began to burn." He nodded bashfully, "Let me get the blanket," he insisted. Carefully, he folded the blanket and draped it over his arm. With his other arm he motioned for us to make our way back to the cottage. We walked in silence until I heard him mutter something. "Pardon," I said.
"I said do you want to go see a play in London with me?" he asked somewhat confidently.
I laughed out loud, but regretted it when I saw his face fall. "Oh okay," he said dejectedly.
"No I didn't mean it like that I said. I just thought it was funny that you asked since we just met. I'd love to go with you though," I recovered putting a hand on his arm. He had a surprised look on his face, but it turned into a large boyish grin. "Really? I didn't think you would actually accept," he said incredulously as we approached the gate. "I mean you're so uh… beautiful and must have men lined up all the way to Rome, and I'm just an apprentice," he trailed off.
I knew a surprised look was on my face and wondered if he didn't really notice he wasn't handsome himself. "Hey you're not too shabby yourself," I praised. "I'll stop by the shop in a day or two to set up more concrete arrangements. It was nice meeting you," I informedbefore I kissed his cheek. Hurriedly, I grabbed the blanket and made my way inside. I looked back and saw him standing where I left him with a furious blush on his face and his hand on his cheek where I kissed it.
Winnie's 5th Dream: The Day That Winnie Gets Engaged (June 13th, 1894)
I walked into the apothecary shop that my father owned and Nathan worked at. Nathan was helping a customer so I walked around to the back of the counter and stood there looking at the apothecary jars on counters and shelves. The bell tinkled above the door, signaling the exit of the customer and I turned around to face Nathan who wasn't there. "Your father told me I could close up shop around noon," he informed me while rustling around in the back room. "So I thought that you and I could go for a picnic in the wood and laze around," he continued while emerging with a picnic basket and blanket.
"May I see the basket," I asked and he handed it over. I opened the basket and was pleasantly surprised by my findings, chilled chocolate covered strawberries, a bottle of rich cabernet sauvignon, Asiago, blue, and Romano cheese, sliced apples and water biscuits. "Okay I'm ready when you're ready," I confirmed while closing the basket. Once again he wasn't in my line of sight, but up at the front flipping the sign. I picked the basket and blanket up and made my way to the front of the store.
He took the basket and blanket from me and opened the door for me to exit. I waited for him to lock up the store, but he seemed to be having a hard time and was fumbling with the lock. Finally, he turned around and muttered something about the lock needing oiled as we made our way towards the wood. We walked in silence, but a comfortable silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts. The slightly cooler air and peaceful scene of the wood met us.
"Where do you want to lay everything down," he asked nervously, something he hadn't done since our first outing nearly three years ago. "Um…how bout under that tree over by the pond," I suggested hoping that his nerves weren't the result of anything bad. He nodded and walked over to the tree to unfold the blanket. I hung back and watched him unfold the blanket and iron out the creases with extreme care almost like he had OCD. I walked over to him and set the basket down and began to take everything out of it, but he took the basket away from me. Uncharacteristically, he meticulously laid everything out, and all of this sent me into a slight panic.
I wondered if he had some bad news with the way he was acting. With a satisfied look on his face he motioned for me to join him on the blanket. Cautiously, I sat and looked expectantly at him, but he wouldn't meet my eye. He handed me a plate along with a knife and the cheese and cracker platter. I began to fix my own plate, but stopped when I felt his eyes on me. "Okay, what kind of news do you have to tell me that has you so nervous?" I asked harsher than I should have. "Just nothing," he said while turning his head. I too turned my head and stared off at the pond, lost in thought.
"Will you marry me?" he asked. I turned my head to where I heard his voice and saw him kneeling on one knee in front of me with a diamond ring in his hand. He was studying my features for an answer, I looked at him surprised and wondering if he was pulling a joke like he sometimes does. When I realized he was serious, I was positive I had my answer. I had met a man who could measure up and steal my heart back from Jesse Tuck. Mutely, I nodded a yes to him as he slipped the ring on my finger.
He fished the wine and glasses out of the basket and uncorked the wine with a smile. He handed me a glass and raised his glass in a toast.
Winnie's 6th Dream: Six Months After the Birth of Winnie's Twins (July 23rd, 1897)
The wailing cry of my daughter woke me from my sleep. I rolled out of bed and left Nathan to sleep. Quickly, I padded into the nursery and past Henry's crib to Charlotte's. I picked Charlotte up from her crib and went to sit in the rocker by the window. Gently, I began to rock hoping it would lull her back to sleep. I've done this nearly every night since her birth, 6 months ago, and every time she eventually goes back to sleep.
Henry on the other hand is the twin who sleeps like a stone the entire night until morning when he wakes Nathan up at 6:30 am most days. For the most part Charlotte Marie and Henry Nathan were easy babies to care for. Which was a relief compared to my difficult pregnancy where the babies were born a month and a half early due to my stress. Nathan has been a saint this entire time, when I looked like a whale with the most frequent mood swings to my postpartum depression that lasted a couple months.
Charlotte began to quiet down and I felt her head droop onto my shoulder. I continued to rock her and studied her features in the moon light. Her eyes are an electric blue and she only has wisps of honey hair. Henry has dark alluring eyes and brown nearly blond curls that cover almost all of his head. They were both beautiful babies, but on nights like these when I'm drowning in my own thoughts I begin to wonder what a child with Jesse would have looked like. I don't let myself wonder too long though because that was a fantasy.
Fatigue washed over me and I began to fall asleep in the chair. I struggled to keep my eye lids open, but I couldn't. Yesterday was a long day, taking both the kids into town and trying to get the check up over. The fight to stay awake became too much and I succumbed to the power of sleep.
"Winnie, wake up," a voice laced with affection urged. I opened my eyes and met the loving blue eyes of my husband holding my curious eyed son. "It's 8 o'clock I thought I should wake you up," he said while making funny faces at Henry. "I had put Charlotte back in her crib when I woke up. I'm going to head into work if you're going to be fine," he informed while putting Henry back in his crib and picking Charlotte up from her crib to press a kiss to her forehead.
I nodded and began to head back to our bedroom to change. "Don't worry I'll be fine Nathan," I assured him. He still wasn't too keen on leaving the twins and me alone quite yet which I don't quite understand. "Okay, but I'll be home as soon as I can close up," he informed, more to reassure himself than me. "We'll be here. Now you have to go or you'll be late for work," I said as I pushed him out the door. I heard him telling me things loudly as he went downstairs and out the door.
Winnie's 7th Dream: Charlotte Finding the Spring (August 9th, 1907)
Frantically, we all searched for Charlotte who wandered off. This must have been what my parents felt like when I went missing at about the same age as my own daughter. "Charlotte where are you," I yelled and heard the others yell too. I kept yelling and made my way into the wood the one place we hadn't checked yet. Up ahead by the big tree I saw a small figure couched down reading a book. "Charlotte where have you been?" I asked while running up to her.
I hugged her and took a good look at her, she was unscathed, and my heart rate slowed down. "Right here mother," she told me as she bookmarked her page. "Why were you out here?" I further interrogated.
"Henry and his friends were being too loud and I couldn't concentrate in the house. So I came outside and sat down in our yard. Then this large toad hopped its way up to me and stared at me for the longest time. I asked it what it wanted and it started making its way back to the wood. I didn't follow it just stayed there until it came back and started doing the same thing. I asked it what it wanted again and it did the same thing. Hoping that it would leave me alone if I followed, I did and it led me in here. I sat down here at the base of the tree and then the toad left, so I began to read here and then you came out here. Am I in trouble?" she explained to me.
"I can't blame you for wanting to leave the house and sit in the yard because your brother and his friends were too loud, sometimes I want to leave myself," I joked, but turned serious as I continued, "but your father and I will decide a punishment for you for leaving the yard to go somewhere else without our permission."
She nodded understandably and began to walk back to the house. "Mother I just had one question, did you know that there was a T carved into that big tree and if you did do you know why?" she turned around and asked. "Yes, I did it's been there since I've been a girl and I do know why it's there. I'll tell you some other day," I promised. "Now run along and tell your father that I'll be out in a minute," I encouraged as she ran back to the yard.
I circled the tree to the side where the T was and the pile of pebbles that covered the spring. I sat down and looked at them slightly wishing that neither of the objects were there or that my daughter would forget my promise. Knowing that neither of the wishes would be fulfilled with my daughter having a razor sharp memory I got up and walked out of the wood.
Winnie's 8th Dream: Charlotte Learns the Secret of the Tucks (August 23rd, 1921)
Charlotte walked into the kitchen and stood defiantly in front of me. "So when were you going to tell me that there is a spring in the wood with immortal water," she asked. "There is what?" I asked incredulously hoping my daughter didn't really know the truth. "Immortal water on Grandmother and Grandfather's land. Don't deny it Jesse already told me everything," she told in a matter of fact tone. I was about to say something when in crashed Jesse Tuck into my kitchen.
"Oh Hi Winnie and Charlotte," he greeted bashfully as he picked up the kitchen chair he knocked over. "Jesse Tuck," I managed to squeak out thankful that Nathan and Henry were on a fishing trip and weren't going to walk in on this mess. "Alive and in the flesh," he joked.
"So when were you going to tell me," my daughter prodded.
"Uh wasn't really planning on ever," I told her honestly hoping that the truth would be easier than weaving a web of lies.
"Why not?!" she screeched.
"Probably because she wasn't supposed to tell anyone and neither was I," Jesse interrupted.
"Wait, how did you to meet?" I back pedaled going to the jugular of this mess.
"Well ya see I was walking in town when I saw your daughter and I mistook her for you. So I walked up to her and asked why she never came to find us and how she was. She was so confused I asked her if she heard me and she said yes, but that her name was Charlotte. By then it was too late to take back my words so I asked her if she knew you and she said that she was your daughter. Then she started firing off all these questions about everything that I just decided to tell the truth because I was figurin on her being trustworthy like yourself so I took her back to the spring and showed her and then she ran back to your house and here we are," he recalled and took a deep breath after his long monologue.
I carefully processed everything and was about to say something when I was cut off by my daughter, "So why didn't you drink the water and run off with Jesse and his family," she asked. "Well I just didn't think I wanted to live forever and wasn't sure that Jesse and I were right for each other and didn't want to make an irreversible mistake," I answered looking at Jesse and hoping that wouldn't pose any more questions.
Upon hearing my answer he looked a little forlorn, but he seemed to understand my dilemma back then and didn't ask any more questions. "Well I think you should have drunk the water," Charlotte informed me. "Maybe so," I murmured, but I didn't really think so because I was grateful and happy with my life with Nathan. Bored with the conversation, Charlotte left the kitchen and walked up to her bedroom.
"Your daughter is an interesting girl, much like her mother," Jesse said. I nodded in agreement as I went back to my forgotten cooking. "We miss you Winnie and wished you had joined us, but knew you weren't going to," he continued. Not wanting to let my emotions get the best for me I told him in the politest voice I had, "Jesse maybe it would be best if you would leave." Posing no argument he nodded and said as he walked out," It was nice seeing you again Winnie," and shut the door behind him.
Back to the Present (August 3rd, 1948)
I was jostled awake by Charlotte who had a bottle of pills with her. "Mother it's time for your pills," she said explaining the obvious. I shook my head and told her, "I don't want the pills."
"But Mother you have to take the pills," she argued getting the pills. I tried to speak and tell her like a petulant child that she couldn't make me, but suddenly I had a bigger problem, I couldn't speak. I tried to form the words, but I couldn't. My one eye's vision began to blur slightly. I remember my doctor telling me when I was diagnosed that it was highly possible I could have a stroke and if it happened I was to have someone call him as soon as possible.
I reached for a pen and paper and tried to write "think I'm having a stroke call the doc," but the pen seemed to weigh a ton and was difficult to feel. With great difficulty I had written my message, but Charlotte had already gone to phone the doctor. She ran back and reassured me that the doctor was coming. We waited in silence, she nervously straightening my room and I was just watching her with slightly blurred vision.
The doctor, Dr. Wentworth, ran into my room and began assessing my vitals and telling Charlotte that I would need to be taken to the hospital to be sure that it was a stroke. He said there was no time to waste so he picked me up bridal style and carried me down to his car. Quickly, he drove to the hospital and ran me to the E.R. Charlotte came running in and began filling out my paperwork. A neurologist and Dr. Wentworth took me down to a room in the neurology department and began running tests.
While all of this happened I began to slowly fall asleep again. I awoke to the bright white lights of my hospital room and heard Dr. Wentworth talking to Henry and the neurologist, Dr. Proskey, speaking to Charlotte. "You and you're brother are your mother's only immediate family correct," he asked her. "Correct, our father passed away a couple years ago," she confirmed and he dived into some medical terms that I didn't understand. Dr. Wentworth and Dr. Proskey were now both speaking to Henry and Charlotte, all I heard was "There isn't any chance that your mother will survive," Proskey told them bluntly.
I opened my eyes to see Charlotte softly sob into her brother's shoulder. Dr. Wentworth glared at Dr. Proskey for his bluntness, but didn't say anything to remedy it. "We're going to leave you two," Dr. Wentworth murmured while ushering out Proskey. Charlotte turned to face Henry and asked him, "Do you want to call Lorelei and have her bring the kids?" He shook his head and she said, "I don't want to call William either."
They both approached my bed and Henry whispered to me first, "Goodbye Mother, I love you." Charlotte waited until Henry had left before she spoke, "Goodbye, the Tucks are safe with me, I love you," before she too left.
At 6:34 PM the Electrocardiogram changed from waves to a straight line.
September 17th, 1951
Jesse Tuck walked into the Treegap cemetery and easily spotted the monument that was Winnie Foster's gravestone. He approached it and gently laid the bouquet of flowers on top of her plot. "Ma and Pa told me they saw your grave last year," he told her stone. "They couldn't believe you were gone," he continued. "I never told them I met you and your daughter all those years ago sometimes I felt I should have, but I never did. Why couldn't you have just drunk the water and joined us? You and I could've seen the world together, but you stayed in Treegap, got yourself married and had kids. Did you forget about us? Was that it? You just plum forgot us?" he asked wishing he would get an answer, while silent tears of a love lost and frustration streamed down his cheeks. "What am I doing talking to myself? Like I would get answers from your gravestone," he questioned while turning around, not wanting to let his emotions get the best of him. He put his hands in his denim pockets and began to walk out of the cemetery. He pulled out of Treegap on his motorcycle not looking back.
