"... And that is why you were chosen."
The raven haired youth stared blankly at the talking cat, blinking occasionally. She looked down at the henshin rod in her hands, then glanced back up at the cat, a puzzled expression on her face. "Oro?"
The cat groaned in exasperation, wearily rubbing at its temples with its paws. "This is gonna take awhile..."
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=
Kitties, Fukus, and Pervs, Oh My!
By: Kesshi Mashin (FXffects)
~~~~~ ~~~~~
A horrible Sailormoon parody. Somebody shoot me.
A disclaimer SHOULD go here.................
~~~~~ ~~~~~
Chapter One: Forgetful Neko, or, What's In a Name?
~~~~~ ~~~~~
"... And I just hold this over my head, and yell... and yell... what?" The black haired girl eyed the talking cat dubiously, while idly twirling the henshin rod in one hand. "Something, something, make-up?"
The cat merely blinked at the suggestion, tilting its head to the side, a puzzled look on its face. "Make-up? What kind of retarded battle-cry is that?" It shook its head once, the small symbol on its forehead flaring briefly.
"Soo........ what DO I say then?" the girl asked, pouting slightly. "I thought this was gonna be like Sailormoon."
"Sailor what?"
"Nevermind," the girl muttered, wearily running her hand through her long locks. "Look, I agreed to being a magical girl-"
"That's a retarded thing to call your powe-"
"FORGET IT! JUST FORGET IT!" she screamed, a single throbbing vein standing out on her neck. "JUST TELL ME THE FREAKIN PHRASE!!"
The cat blinked at the outburst, a small sweatdrop gathering behind her head. "Uh..."
"Well?"
"Ano... I forgot...."
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"Oy, Gucci, who's she talkin to?" A short haired youth continued to lean against the door, ear pressed against the wooden surface in a vain attempt to eavesdrop. He frowned a bit, and leaned closer against the door. "I think I heard somethin..."
"Well, she IS taking a crap," a long haired girl muttered, lazily slapping the back of the boy's head as she passed by. "It might've just been some gas."
The boy scratched at the back of his head gingerly, scowling at the girl. "I HEARD something, and it wasn't gas..."
"Kesshi, Kesshi, Kesshi." The girl shook her head softly, her short hair flying wildly about. "You know, the voices will go away if you take your happy pil-" she began, smirking widely as Kesshi's face began to turn a deep shade of red.
"KISAMA!!! GUCCI-"
/"FORGET IT! JUST FORGET IT! JUST TELL ME THE FREAKIN PHRASE!"/
Gucci blinked in mild surprise, before shuffling over towards the door and pressing her own ear against the wood. "Now THAT wasn't gas..."
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The raven haired girl stared blankly down at the cat, her hands clenching and unclenching sporadically. "... what was that?" she asked softly, setting the henshin rod down onto the counter-top.
"I... forgot?" The cat grinned nervously at the girl, as it slowly began inching towards a nearby window. "I mean, it's kinda funny, actually."
The girl nodded gently, as she reached into a drawer and retrieved a small razor. "Go on," she murmured, reaching out to retrieve a small can of shaving cream.
"Well," the cat began, its tail twitching nervously as it looked about the small bathroom. "When you yelled at me to forget it, I-" Its fur suddenly stood on end, and its whiskers curled slightly, as the ground began to shake. "Oh shit, it's here!"
A rather large mess of tentacles and goo suddenly burst through the far wall of the bathroom, its slimy appendages waving wildly in the air clearly visible through the thick cloud of dust. "BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!!!"
The girl stared up at the creature, which was currently dripping a rather noxious smelling liquid onto the bathroom tile. She stared at the creature for a moment, before giving the cat a confused look. "You mean to tell me that I'm supposed to fight THIS..." She gestured at the monster, who continued to sit in place, its tentacles having long since ceased its waving. "... this...?" She gave the monster a questioning look.
"Harbinger of death? Hideous monstrosity? Demon from the deepest bowels of Hell?" the monster suggested helpfully, striking a pose. "Or what about the Fabio of devilish apparitions?"
The girl thought on the names for a moment, before shaking her head. "I was thinking more along the lines of giant penis bush." She thought a bit longer, and shrugged. "Yeah, something to that effect..."
The monster bristled slightly at the comment, and resumed waving about its tentacles. "Hey, now, I resent that." It tried pouting, but failed miserably, accidentally biting down on one of its stray tentacles. *Ah, damnit...*
"So what should I call you then?" the girl asked, staring blankly at the 'giant penis bush.' "Dick?"
The monster rolled its eyes at the horribly made pun, then struck another pose. "THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE REALM OF THE DEMON PLANE..."
"Oh boy, I hear another rant comin on." The cat sighed softly, and slumped against the door, scratching occasionally at the symbol on its forehead.
"MAN AND DEVIL ALIKE QUAKE IN FEAR WHENEVER MY NAME IS MENTIONED!" the monster boomed, paying no heed to the girl, who was lazily using the henshin rod to clean under her fingernails.
"Could you hurry it up just a bit, Dick?" the girl mumbled, cursing quietly when she broke a nail with the rod.
The creature paused, mid-rant, and glanced down at its bored audience. "BE FILLED WITH FEAR AND DREAD, PUNY MORTAL, FOR I AM THE ONE WHOM EVEN THE ANGELS ABOVE ABHOR AND.... FEAR!" It paused for a dramatic effect, and thunder could be heard in the background, as it struck a final pose. "FOR I AM BOB, THE MAN-SLAYER!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
"... Oro?" was all the girl could manage to say, as she stared dumbly at the cackling demon, a large sweatdrop beginning to form on the back of her head. "The bush did NOT just..."
"That's it!" the cat exclaimed, hopping to its feet. "The phrase!"
"Bob the Man-Slayer?" the girl asked, giving the cat a ridiculous look.
The cat nearly face-faulted, before pointing at Bob, who was still cackling loudly. "It's BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
The girl stared down at the rod in her hands, before looking back up at the cat. "You've GOT to be kidding me..."
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"What the hell is she doing in there?" Kesshi muttered, pressing closer against the door. "Sounds like someone just fell or somethin...."
Gucci's eyes widened somewhat, and she swatted Kesshi over the head angrily. "Hush up! I think I heard someone say penis!" she hissed, as the two continued to eavesdrop.
"Oh my God." Kesshi's face paled somewhat, as he pushed away from the door slightly. "You don't think she's doin... yanno..." He made several crude gestures with his hands, grimacing all the while. "... the nasty in there, do you?"
Gucci nodded solemnly, and tugged at Kesshi's sleeve. "AND with someone named Bob."
"Bob?"
"Bob."
"... You sure it wasn't...?"
"Bob."
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=
Author's Note: Keep your eyes peeled for Chapter Two: Nosebleeds Galore, or, Indecent Exposure. Until then peoples! Ja!
~ Kess
The raven haired youth stared blankly at the talking cat, blinking occasionally. She looked down at the henshin rod in her hands, then glanced back up at the cat, a puzzled expression on her face. "Oro?"
The cat groaned in exasperation, wearily rubbing at its temples with its paws. "This is gonna take awhile..."
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=
Kitties, Fukus, and Pervs, Oh My!
By: Kesshi Mashin (FXffects)
~~~~~ ~~~~~
A horrible Sailormoon parody. Somebody shoot me.
A disclaimer SHOULD go here.................
~~~~~ ~~~~~
Chapter One: Forgetful Neko, or, What's In a Name?
~~~~~ ~~~~~
"... And I just hold this over my head, and yell... and yell... what?" The black haired girl eyed the talking cat dubiously, while idly twirling the henshin rod in one hand. "Something, something, make-up?"
The cat merely blinked at the suggestion, tilting its head to the side, a puzzled look on its face. "Make-up? What kind of retarded battle-cry is that?" It shook its head once, the small symbol on its forehead flaring briefly.
"Soo........ what DO I say then?" the girl asked, pouting slightly. "I thought this was gonna be like Sailormoon."
"Sailor what?"
"Nevermind," the girl muttered, wearily running her hand through her long locks. "Look, I agreed to being a magical girl-"
"That's a retarded thing to call your powe-"
"FORGET IT! JUST FORGET IT!" she screamed, a single throbbing vein standing out on her neck. "JUST TELL ME THE FREAKIN PHRASE!!"
The cat blinked at the outburst, a small sweatdrop gathering behind her head. "Uh..."
"Well?"
"Ano... I forgot...."
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=
"Oy, Gucci, who's she talkin to?" A short haired youth continued to lean against the door, ear pressed against the wooden surface in a vain attempt to eavesdrop. He frowned a bit, and leaned closer against the door. "I think I heard somethin..."
"Well, she IS taking a crap," a long haired girl muttered, lazily slapping the back of the boy's head as she passed by. "It might've just been some gas."
The boy scratched at the back of his head gingerly, scowling at the girl. "I HEARD something, and it wasn't gas..."
"Kesshi, Kesshi, Kesshi." The girl shook her head softly, her short hair flying wildly about. "You know, the voices will go away if you take your happy pil-" she began, smirking widely as Kesshi's face began to turn a deep shade of red.
"KISAMA!!! GUCCI-"
/"FORGET IT! JUST FORGET IT! JUST TELL ME THE FREAKIN PHRASE!"/
Gucci blinked in mild surprise, before shuffling over towards the door and pressing her own ear against the wood. "Now THAT wasn't gas..."
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=
The raven haired girl stared blankly down at the cat, her hands clenching and unclenching sporadically. "... what was that?" she asked softly, setting the henshin rod down onto the counter-top.
"I... forgot?" The cat grinned nervously at the girl, as it slowly began inching towards a nearby window. "I mean, it's kinda funny, actually."
The girl nodded gently, as she reached into a drawer and retrieved a small razor. "Go on," she murmured, reaching out to retrieve a small can of shaving cream.
"Well," the cat began, its tail twitching nervously as it looked about the small bathroom. "When you yelled at me to forget it, I-" Its fur suddenly stood on end, and its whiskers curled slightly, as the ground began to shake. "Oh shit, it's here!"
A rather large mess of tentacles and goo suddenly burst through the far wall of the bathroom, its slimy appendages waving wildly in the air clearly visible through the thick cloud of dust. "BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!!!"
The girl stared up at the creature, which was currently dripping a rather noxious smelling liquid onto the bathroom tile. She stared at the creature for a moment, before giving the cat a confused look. "You mean to tell me that I'm supposed to fight THIS..." She gestured at the monster, who continued to sit in place, its tentacles having long since ceased its waving. "... this...?" She gave the monster a questioning look.
"Harbinger of death? Hideous monstrosity? Demon from the deepest bowels of Hell?" the monster suggested helpfully, striking a pose. "Or what about the Fabio of devilish apparitions?"
The girl thought on the names for a moment, before shaking her head. "I was thinking more along the lines of giant penis bush." She thought a bit longer, and shrugged. "Yeah, something to that effect..."
The monster bristled slightly at the comment, and resumed waving about its tentacles. "Hey, now, I resent that." It tried pouting, but failed miserably, accidentally biting down on one of its stray tentacles. *Ah, damnit...*
"So what should I call you then?" the girl asked, staring blankly at the 'giant penis bush.' "Dick?"
The monster rolled its eyes at the horribly made pun, then struck another pose. "THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE REALM OF THE DEMON PLANE..."
"Oh boy, I hear another rant comin on." The cat sighed softly, and slumped against the door, scratching occasionally at the symbol on its forehead.
"MAN AND DEVIL ALIKE QUAKE IN FEAR WHENEVER MY NAME IS MENTIONED!" the monster boomed, paying no heed to the girl, who was lazily using the henshin rod to clean under her fingernails.
"Could you hurry it up just a bit, Dick?" the girl mumbled, cursing quietly when she broke a nail with the rod.
The creature paused, mid-rant, and glanced down at its bored audience. "BE FILLED WITH FEAR AND DREAD, PUNY MORTAL, FOR I AM THE ONE WHOM EVEN THE ANGELS ABOVE ABHOR AND.... FEAR!" It paused for a dramatic effect, and thunder could be heard in the background, as it struck a final pose. "FOR I AM BOB, THE MAN-SLAYER!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
"... Oro?" was all the girl could manage to say, as she stared dumbly at the cackling demon, a large sweatdrop beginning to form on the back of her head. "The bush did NOT just..."
"That's it!" the cat exclaimed, hopping to its feet. "The phrase!"
"Bob the Man-Slayer?" the girl asked, giving the cat a ridiculous look.
The cat nearly face-faulted, before pointing at Bob, who was still cackling loudly. "It's BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
The girl stared down at the rod in her hands, before looking back up at the cat. "You've GOT to be kidding me..."
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=
"What the hell is she doing in there?" Kesshi muttered, pressing closer against the door. "Sounds like someone just fell or somethin...."
Gucci's eyes widened somewhat, and she swatted Kesshi over the head angrily. "Hush up! I think I heard someone say penis!" she hissed, as the two continued to eavesdrop.
"Oh my God." Kesshi's face paled somewhat, as he pushed away from the door slightly. "You don't think she's doin... yanno..." He made several crude gestures with his hands, grimacing all the while. "... the nasty in there, do you?"
Gucci nodded solemnly, and tugged at Kesshi's sleeve. "AND with someone named Bob."
"Bob?"
"Bob."
"... You sure it wasn't...?"
"Bob."
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=
Author's Note: Keep your eyes peeled for Chapter Two: Nosebleeds Galore, or, Indecent Exposure. Until then peoples! Ja!
~ Kess
