I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns everything except this made up fanfic.
Rachel parked her old faded green Explorer in the gravelled area next to Sam and Emily's house. Nestled at the edge of the forest it was a tidy little white cottage with a red door. Pretty but generally unremarkable. Turning off the ignition, Rachel leaned over the steering wheel and prayed for strength. The upcoming conversation was overdue, unwelcome and just plain awkward as ass. Paul wasn't happy that she was here to poke a stick at the pack Alpha but he understood that it needed to be done before they all lost Leah. Losing Leah was not going to happen if the LaHotes had anything to say about it. From middle school up until Rachel went to college it had been a gang of six and a half: Sam, Leah, Rachel, Rebecca, Jared, Paul and whatever girl Paul was sticking it to that week. Since the St. Paulie girls rotated pretty regularly across Paul's bed the core group only allowed them to count as half a person. Hey, high school kids are unthinkingly cruel sometimes.
Jared and Rebecca were an on and off again couple until the end of junior year. Jared was more on than Rebecca. That summer before senior year changed everything for Rebecca when she discovered surfer dudes and started to hang out with a totally different group. Jared missed Rebecca's friendship and tits but since he was headed to college (and on the best of days Rebecca was the antithesis of a college girl) there wasn't any animosity. Only a very vague feeling that they were growing up and leaving each other behind. Rachel was the group virgin. Her lack of a dating life in high school was self-imposed as she worked her ass off to get good grades and earn a scholarship. Of course Paul the man-whore was going to fuck his way through La Push, then Forks, then Washington State and finally the Pacific Northwest. You couldn't say that the boy didn't aspire to something. Of course he would probably be enrolled in the antibiotic of the month club before reaching the female population on the outskirts of Seattle.
Taking a deep breath, Rachel stared at the cottage and thought about Leah and Sam. Two imperfect people who made perfect sense together. Leah's passion for life, her vocal personality and wicked sense of humor were balanced by Sam's quiet strength, his steadiness and his creativity. They were each other's greatest supporters. If Leah had decided to quit high school and study her belly button for the next 5 years then Sam would support her so that she could learn everything there was to know about her fascinating navel. If Sam chose to study medicine and then practice in a third world country then Leah would have made sure that his dream was realized even if that meant that she worked twelve part-time jobs. So long as they were together they were happy.
Then came phasing and the crap sandwich that is imprinting about a year after high school. After trying to gain control of his wolf by himself for several weeks so that Leah wouldn't get hurt, Sam had just re-established contact with her after she had gone out of her mind with worry. He came back and Leah accepted his explanation that he freaked out. Why wouldn't she believe him? It was her Sam and he would never lie to her. As a couple they found jobs, Sam in construction and Leah at the local library, while they took classes at the college in Port Angeles. They were saving money to fix up the house that Sam's grandmother left him the year before. It was going to be their house. Leah spent untold hours cleaning, painting and collecting furniture from junk shops.
When Sam came back from his wolfy adventure his smile wasn't as easily bestowed but he clung to Leah like never before. She was his anchor. For her part, after asking Sam what happened and being gently told that he couldn't talk about it, she accepted his answer trusting that he would tell her when he could talk about it. Whatever it was.
Just as Leah and Sam were getting back to a normal routine all hell broke loose in the form of Emily Young. Leah's cousin Emily from the Makah reservation. Emily who was supposed to be Leah's sister and best friend. Safe, inclined towards domestic pursuits and devoid of any real personality Emily was pretty much everything that Leah wasn't. Leah went cliff diving, can't check that safe box. Leah could (and did) fuck up making Jello (it was actually lumpy), can't check that domestic box. Leah had many faults but being devoid of a personality wasn't one of them.
When Sam met Emily she became his "everything", his "gravity", his fucking soul mate. Within two weeks Sam began ignoring Leah, got with Emily, was promptly found rolling around on Seth's bed by Sue who screamed at them to leave her house and to keep their sorry over sexed asses away from her family, scarred Emily when she played at leaving him (because Emily was never going to walk away from Sam voluntarily but it does give such a sickening sugary and sweetly inspiring touch to the epic love of Emily and Sam, don't you think) and brought Emily to live with him in the house that Leah had fixed up and sweated over for months. Sam had a very busy fortnight. Leah moved back with her parents and began to shut down. She barely talked and rarely left her room.
Then a about three weeks after the love of her life left her, Leah was told by her father that Sam was going to propose to Emily and Leah phases in her living room. Watching his daughter sprout fur triggered her father's heart attack. Watching his father have a heart attack triggered her brother Seth's transformation into a wolf. Cause and effect on a fucking epic scale. Her dad was taken to the hospital, stabilized, had triple bypass and came home after a few weeks. Moral of the story? Frybread is hell on the heart. Especially if there is a chance that your children will grow up to have a tail.
Thinking of frybread made Rachel remember the hot coffee in her travel mug. Rachel would rather go without food for a week than not have coffee for a day. Taking a big swig she holds onto her travel mug for emotional support and starts walking to the front door. She knew that Sam could hear her approaching and was kind of surprised that he hadn't come out to check on her when she didn't come in to the door right away. Rolling her shoulders, she knocked on the door frame. Sam opened the door, stepped aside and ushered her in.
Smiling he asked, "What's up Rachel? Em's not here but she'll be back in a couple of hours."
Walking into the open kitchen area, Rachel put her coffee on the scarred kitchen table. It always amazed her that Emily kept everything that in the house the way Leah had arranged it. It was like a neon 'fuck you' to Leah every time she had to see her Sam wrapped around her cousin in what should have been Leah's house. No wonder it finally really got to Leah. No wonder she couldn't move on.
"Sam. I need to talk to you. It's about imprinting."
Continuing to smile, Sam said, "Well like I said, Em should be back in a couple of hours. This is her volunteer day at that the Tribal welcome center. I'm sure your questions are better put to another woman in your position."
"Please listen and get off the Alpha train. I didn't say that I have questions, I said that I needed to talk to you. I know that things have been weird between us since Paul and I got together but I want to clear the air and I think that I have some information that may be helpful to the other wolves."
Sitting down at the table while giving me a fucking paternal frown, Sam groused, "Still as bossy as ever. How does Paul stand it . . . "
Deciding that Sam probably couldn't have picked a better jumping off point if he had a fucking road map, Rachel sat down and started talking while looking Sam in the eye.
"Paul stands it because he loves me. And not because I'm his imprint." Sam's exhale of breathe sounded like a cannon in the still room. Rachel watched his face to see the progression from surprise to irritation. It took less than a second. Fucking magical imprinting.
"What the hell are you talking about! Of course he imprinted on you, we've all seen it." Looking smugly at his old friend, Sam leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms. She noticed that he was clenching his fists.
"No Sam. Everyone assumed that I was his imprint and we didn't correct them."
"I would have noticed! Paul never thinks of you as anything but his imprint. His love for you is so strong and all-consuming that it could only be an imprint!"
"Think back Sam. To the night I came back home from school for the break. I came home a day early and no one was at my house. After waiting around for a few hours I walked town to the beach. Along the way I met up with your cousin Ellen and joined her friends at the other end of the beach. After awhile I began walking towards the bonfire and recognized Old Quil, dad, and Sue. You and your big ass wolves were unrecognizable from the spindly unhot adolescent boys I left behind. I called out to dad and Paul turned towards me looking stunned. I like to tell him that my naturally awe-inspiring sexiness was so overwhelming that I cured his chronic man-whore syndrome with a smile." Rachel smirked remembering Paul's first look at her in almost two years.
"You're lying! You're an imprint! How can you deny it?" Sam began to tremble.
"Sam, I can't deny what never was. Calm down and I'll tell you everything."
Once Sam nodded he head, Rachel continued, "Paul's reaction to me was physically extreme and just a tiny bit noticeable. Subtle he isn't. For fuck's sake, even Little Miss Unaware of Anything But Herself Bella Swan saw Paul's reaction to me."
After taking a sip of coffee, she continued quietly, "He started shaking and you clapped him on the back and congratulated him. I had no idea why but I did hear Embry tell Quil that 'another one bites the dust'. Paul practically carried me out of there as soon as I let dad and Jake know that I was home. I'm pretty sure that everyone saw my confusion. It's not like my jaw wasn't dragging on the sand as Paul dragged me away. I saw that my father and Old Quil had shit eating grins. Anyway, we walked up to the cliffs and talked for hours. Come to find out that Paul had been in love with me for years. Once I left for college he figured that he had nothing to lose by telling me if he ever saw me again. After sobbing for about 10 minutes I was able to get out that I had been in love with him since junior year." Pausing, Rachel pulled a napkin from the holder in the middle of the table and began shredding it. Nervous energy is a terrible thing to waste.
The look of confusion on Sam's face would have been hysterical if so much wasn't riding on the outcome of this conversation. Putting her hand lightly on Sam's arm, Rachel continued.
"Neither one of us had ever discussed our feelings with each other or anyone else. He was so convinced that little Miss Legs R. Closed wouldn't want a guy who had literally fucked his way across state lines and had been on his own since he was 16. I just knew that Mr. Sexy Time couldn't be interested in a mouthy virgin with a fascination for trivia and obscure historical facts. So we talked. About everything. Every. Fucking. Thing. Including that my new guy had paws, a tail and could let me know with a bark if Timmy got stuck in the well." Rachel saw Sam start shaking even more and she sat back in her chair and waited for the verbal explosion she knew was coming.
"Holy fuck! He had no right to tell you about the pack! Only imprints and parents are informed by order of the council!" Sam yelled and then practically began panting in deep jagged breathes.
Waiting to see if he said anything more and realizing that his heavy breathing was his way of trying to maintain some control, she asked something she had wanted to know for months, "Why is that? Do you and the council really think that siblings or lovers would intentionally give up the secrets? Especially with the threat of a painful retribution that would leave blood and fur at the scene?"
In a calmer manner Sam relied, "The council is concerned that outsiders wouldn't be able to contain the secret so it is kept on a need to know basis." Rubbing his hands along the base of his neck, Sam looked emotionally drained.
"Well OK then but I'm member of this tribe, the sister of a wolf and the daughter of a chief. Not really an outsider anyway you look at it." Shaking her head Rachel continued, "Anyway, Paul told me about imprinting and the fact that without an imprint no one would allow our relationship since there would be a danger that he would break my heart and leave me like you left Leah. Basically he knew that dad would not let me go through what Leah went through." Keeping a steady eye on Sam, Rachel noted the pain in his eyes at the mention of his ex-fiance. She also saw that he could see her recognition of that searing pain and that she wasn't going to sugar coat anything.
"So, to protect ourselves and our relationship, Paul and I decided to let people think that I was his imprint and that I was resisting the inevitable. Paul told me that he's the only wolf who can consistently cover his thoughts from both you and Edward Cullen." Seing Sam's glare change from angry to surprised she stated, "Of course I know about vampires. Come on. The man I love, my brother, my best friend and most of the guys I grew up with are furballs. Since I handled that news pretty well Paul told me everything," she shrugged.
"After our talk Paul and I decided to go into stealth mode so that I could find out everything we would need to know to continue without an imprint. While sitting at home and pretending to be conflicted about having a ready-made soul mate, I spent the next two weeks going over the Tribal histories and journals that dad had stored in the house. I also volunteered to 'organize' the records at the Tribal offices. I'm sure you remember that research and digging for information are two of my talents." Taking another sip of coffee, she continued, "I found out some very interesting things about imprinting during those two weeks. According to what my dad told me and my comparison of that information with what was in the older journals, it became obvious that no one had really studied the information in the older volumes. Everything that the council was spewing was based on the pack of Ephraim Black. It's the kind of mistake that people not used to conducting research make . . . ignoring the old and only embracing the recent."
"Are you saying that the council didn't give us all the necessary information?"
"I'm saying that the council was ignorant of all the information available. I don't think that it was a deliberate omission, just an omission based on ignorance. Honestly, I can understand not reading some of the old volumes unless someone is standing over you threatening your life. A couple of the writers obviously were of the VCR instruction school of writing."
Taking a deep breath and looking apprehensively at his old friend, Sam asked in a quiet voice, "Do I want to know what you found out about imprinting?"
"I don't know. But I'm going to tell you anyway because as Alpha you have a responsibility to the wolves that haven't imprinted." She steeled herself for Sam to go all Alpha and try to forbid her to continue. It wouldn't work on the Rachel since she wasn't a wolf but she knew that it might be a natural reaction of her friend being confronted with unwelcome information. She was shocked that he motioned for her to continue and then he put his head in his hands. She wanted to reach out and smooth the tension from his shoulders. But he needed to concentrate on what she would be saying and take the hard truths without distraction.
"Well, first, imprinting isn't always about what the wolf needs. Sometimes it's about what the pack needs. Or a combination of the wolf's and pack's needs. Secondly, the imprint is like a piece of woven fabric with each tread touching on different emotions, needs and desires. The warp and weft of the imprint fabric is based on all of these things and are individual to the wolf and the imprint. Therefore, no two imprints are the same and the reason for imprinting can be wildly divergent between wolves of the same pack . . . "
Hearing her hesitation, Sam looked up and waited for her to continue. Rachel was not looking forward to these next bits of Imprint 101. "Thirdly, an imprint can be a test for the wolf to determine his place in the pack based on his reaction to the imprint. And finally, an imprint can be both prevented and broken."
Sam started shaking uncontrollably. Rachel saw that he was going to phase and dived to the floor as Sam ran towards the front door and bust into fur as his rammed through the door. For about the thousandth time since she became involved with Paul she rolled her eyes and wondered what her college roommate and partner in crime, the very tough Lena Larsen, would do if she saw a grown man sprout fur and dewclaws. Lena was a cool customer who was rarely startled but even Lena would probably piss her panties and cry enough to smudge at least some of her black eyeliner.
Grabbing her phone from her pocket Rachel dialed her husband and spoke quickly, "Your Alpha is tearing up the woods. Call Jake and tell him to order anyone embracing their wolf to phase back human. Jared and Quil don't need to see what's in Sam's mind. Ask Seth to stay with Leah and bring Sam back here. I love you." She hung up and scrolled on her phone until she came to the app she used to keep track of home repairs.
Surveying the door frame she called the local hardware store, they were on speed dial for this kind of wolf caused emergency, and ordered a new door and requested delivery to the Tribal council. After the third time of trying to hunt up a tape measure after a wolf destroyed a door she decided to measure all the doors and windows of each pack house and be prepared. It's not like it was an unusual occurrence for a furball to take out a door or window. Seemed to happen about once every two to three weeks.
Rachel set about putting the table and chairs back where they belonged and cleaning up the coffee that spilled from her now dented travel mug. Once everything was arranged the way Emily (well really Leah) had it, she moved around the kitchen island and made a pot of coffee.
Waiting for the coffee to finish, Rachel's thoughts turned to Leah. Her friend was barely holding on to both her mental and physical health. The beautiful she-wolf was super model thin, as in past waif, and she'd quit eating more than the smallest amount to keep moving. Barely moving. For a girl who could, and should, chow down 5,000 calories in a sitting the starvation was making her literally fade away before their eyes. She hadn't phased in the last week and was unable to get off Rachel and Paul's guest room bed without help. Leah's mental health was just as precarious. She would lay on her side and stare out the window, unseeing and unblinking. It was all that Rachel could do to get Leah to answer yes or no to a direct question. They were willing to try anything to get Leah out of her protective shell. Years ago Rachel had read that one of the ways to heal an injured cat is to put in with other cats. The healthy cats will huddle around the injured cat, purr and speed healing. After doing some internet research she asked that at least two of the three guys currently camped at her house and helping to care for Leah to sleep in the bed with Leah so that she had contact with her pack-mates. Whenever possible all three guys piled into the bed with Leah and Rachel slept in a cot at the foot of the bed. Anything to keep Leah with them even though Leah was determined to just melt away like she had never existed. After the months of anger and lashing out at the pack, the only she-wolf was close to being completely destroyed.
Paul, Jacob and Seth had taken Leah's patrols once she become too weak to phase. Between the three of them this wasn't a hardship. But the toll of watching their biological and pack sister kill herself was hurting these strong and brave men in ways that made Rachel shudder. Each of wolves had run out of the house into the woods after sitting with an unresponsive Leah. When Rachel followed Paul the first time he ran out she found him about a half mile into the tree line with tears running down his face. As much as she wanted to breakdown with him she knew that she had to keep it together in order for Paul to calm down. Sitting next to him she pulled his head into her lap and held him until the crying stopped. Later that night in bed (she'd told Jake and Seth that she and Paul needed some alone time and wouldn't be sleeping in Leah's room that night) she asked Paul if that was what Jake and Seth were doing when they ran from the house. He nodded. Rachel then wrapped herself around Paul and made comforting crooning sounds to him until he relaxed and went to sleep. It was one of the few times that Paul let her take care of him and he allowed himself to gain strength from his human wife.
Getting a mug out of the dish drainer Rachel poured herself some coffee, took a seat at the kitchen table and waited while watching birds flit around the bird feeder outside the window to the left of the empty front door frame. After about an hour she heard Paul and Sam arguing in the front yard.
"Fuckin' A Sam. What does it hurt to listen? There's a reason they say that ignorance is bliss. You don't have all the facts and your walk around like a love-sick 13-year-old who hasn't even had a boner yet!"
Sam roared back, "Imprinting is a gift! Our ancestors gave this to us and it's up to us to accept imprinting!"
"Do you really believe the shit you're spewing out of your pie hole right now? I hope so because no one else but Jared does. You know about Quil's doubts. You may not see it but you've become so whipped by the council that you are willing to believe anything. Just listen. You don't have to believe but sit the fuck down and listen like a thinking person who values having all of the information."
Both men walked into the kitchen buttoning up their shorts. Paul was immediately at Rachel's side checking her for injury. Once he had run his hands over most of his wife's body he bent down and nuzzled into her neck. Inhaling her scent, Paul looked at Sam and gave a low growl of warning. If Sam phased that close to Rachel again Paul would have his balls nailed to his wall as a trophy. Sam had the good graces, and knowledge of how his friend thought, to nod in agreement that phasing around Rachel was a ball cutting offense.
Rachel motioned to the table and sat down. Paul sat next to her and attempted to put her on his lap but Rachel gave him a pointed look and he settled for having his arm around her waist. Rachel was getting ready to tell Sam that his perfect imprint might not be as fabulous as he'd thought and it would be rubbing salt in the wound for Rachel and Paul to hang all over each other. Plus, Rachel knew that if Sam phased again that Paul would need to be able to deal with the situation without her ass getting in the way.
"Sam, I really want to get this out before Emily comes home. I just want to give you the information. What you do with it in your situation is your business. But I have to tell you that I've sent this information to Harry and my dad to share with the council and younger wolves. The have already pledged to make sure that everyone has the information so that they can make informed decisions."
Wrapping her fingers around her coffee cup, she went through the imprint facts again but in detail. "Just so you know, I didn't pull this stuff out of my ass. I have all the citations available and I made copies of all the journals and can make them available to you. I don't want you to take my word for it. I want you to look at the evidence and make up your own mind." Pausing to take a sip of coffee and clear her throat Rachel continued, "OK, so the first thing is that the imprint can be about the pack as much or more than the individual wolf. From what Paul says he has seen in the pack mind you were totally lost when you first came back after phasing. Your house was a mess and we all know you can't cook for shit so you were living on frozen pizza and canned soup. And let's face it, Leah isn't any better in the kitchen. Jared was about to phase and Paul wasn't going to be far behind and they would need wolf lessons. Add that to the fact that you were trying to stay away from Leah because that assclown Old Quil told you that since she wasn't your imprint, that you couldn't tell the girl you loved the most important aspect of your life. So you were forced by some fucked up magic to shut out the one person who would totally accept and understand anything that was going on with you. You were totally ass kicked into isolation. Well then the Tribal imprint mojo kicks in and the first new girl you see who happens to be a domestic goddess, you imprint on. Bonus points for sharing DNA with your true love. You needed comfort and the pack needed a momma wolf."
Paul looked at his old friend and realized that Sam was shaken by the idea that his 'soul mate' might really be the pack mother and that maybe Sam looked at everything related to the imprint with rose-colored glasses on peyote. Deep down Paul had always kind of figured that Sam's acceptance of the imprint was about ease and not a desire for a 'soul mate' that wasn't Leah. Paul knew how much Sam really did love Leah. Internally Paul shuttered to think of not having freedom on who to love. Freedom of choice and freedom to be himself were Paul's greatest needs as both a man and a wolf. Rachel shared the need for freedom and told Paul on more than one occasion that it was OK that he's an asshole because he's her asshole. She didn't want him to be anything but himself. From the fabulous wolf bod to the bad temper to the primitive side of his personality that embraced his wolf to his manly funk after a long patrol. She loved the whole man and the whole wolf. Shit, she loved for him to phase in the living room and have a nice long cuddle with the wolf while she brushed his silver fur. Paul loved that Rachel loved his wolf.
"As I said before, the imprint and the imprint experience are totally different for each wolf due to the various emotions, needs and desires of both the wolf and the imprint. And example would be the contrast between the incredibly, um . . . lusty drive of Jared and Kim's imprint versus the home centric imprint that you and Emily share." The entire pack, most of the rez, a good portion of the population of Forks and more than a few school children on class trips to First Beach had seen the hormone and PDA driven needs of Jared and Kim's imprint. Rachel had commented to Paul when first witnessing the live porno during a bon fire that she thought she had just been blinded by the money shot. Paul spit beer out of his nose.
"The imprint as a test for pack placement is fairly straightforward. Jared is a dominate male and conceivably in the running for Alpha. By not fighting the imprint, despite the fact that he and Kim barely knew each other before the imprint, Jared established himself as a non-Alpha dominate. It would be unlikely that Paul would imprint as a test since he doesn't care about the pack hierarchy so long as he has access to fighting, fucking, and food. My husband is a simple wolf." She kissed Paul's cheek and continued, "A wolf who wouldn't fight the imprint isn't likely to be the true leader." Although Rachel didn't use Sam as an example, the weight of the omission was felt around the kitchen table. Jake was the true Alpha by birth and when Sam didn't fight an imprint on a woman he hadn't seen before, he may have provided unwitting confirmation of Jake's true Alpha status.
"This will be the hardest part for you to hear. And imprint can be avoided through marking. When a wolf and his, or her, mate mark each other they are bound in a way that is stronger than an imprint and will prevent the wolf from binding himself to another. Ever. Paul and I marked each other after my two-week 'research exile'. I didn't worry about Paul imprinting on someone but his wolf demanded that he mark me. We marked each other the night I moved in. His wolf is a possessive ass." Rachel took her husband's huge warm hand between her two small cool hands. He smirked. He and his wolf practically preened when she recognized his possession of his wife.
Rachel looked Sam in the eye and continued, "Finally, aside from the imprint deciding not to have a romantic relationship with the wolf, an imprint that is sexual and romantic can be broken with a simple ceremony performed by the wolf with the assistance of two fellow wolves. The specifics of the ceremony can be found here." Rachel pulled a paper out of her pocket and slid it over the table surface towards Sam's hands
The three old friends sat in silence. Paul and Rachel looked at Sam and Sam looked at the table while wiping his hands through his hair. Observing the Alpha it seemed to Rachel that the wolf in the man had diminished just a little and that Sam looked more purely human than he had looked since his transformation. She'd have to ask Paul when they got home.
"One more thing that I have to say to you as your friend. This is an observation and not based on my research. You have to ask yourself what kind of a woman would shit on her family, her best friend and the love of her life by accepting an imprint that would bring the kind of pain that Emily imposed on Harry, Sue, Seth, Leah and you. Emily had the power in the imprint and she chose to disregard what was best for everyone else. She only cared about what she wanted."
Sam laid his head on his arms. Paul and Rachel saw his shoulders shake with dry sobs. Paul put his hand on Sam's shoulder and squeezed. Rachel began to cry watching her friend fall apart. All she could hope was for her friend to find the strength to end this heartache by confronting the nature of his imprint and having the courage to choose Leah.
Rachel rose from her chair and took her coffee mug into the kitchen. After washing the mug and putting it in the dish drainer she turned around and looked at her phone to read any texts. The door had been delivered to the council offices and was ready to be picked up.
"We're going to leave now and let you absorb what I've told you. There's a new front door waiting for you at the council office. Please call us if you need anything." In a quieter voice she couldn't help adding, "We love you Uley."
Paul took Rachel's hand and led her from the house. Helping her into the truck, Rachel slumped against the passenger door and closed her eyes. It had been a tough day and it was only beginning.
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