Chapter 1 Moving In
I sat down with a thud, leaning against the last load of boxes. I wiped my hand across my clammy forehead and took in a deep breath. The apartment smelled musty and like old fried food.
"The dorm smelled better than this," I sighed looking around.
Here I was, a broke college student trying to make my way. The only sound outside was the sound of passing cars and children playing outside. There was no sound or sign of Alice. She had disappeared when the first boxes showed up and left me with the chore of moving in. I rolled my eyes. This was so typical of her.
"Why did we have to move into this apartment," Alice whined as she bounded through the door.
"Thank you so much Isabella for moving everything in. Why you're quite welcome Alice," I said sarcastically as I stood up.
"Sorry, I know that I left but I went to scope out the fresh meat," she explained quickly.
"Fresh meat?" I furrowed my brows.
She let out an over dramatic sigh, "Guys, Bella, guys. Keep up with the program, Which leads to my earlier question. Why did we choose this apartment?"
"Because it's all we can afford," I explained.
"Being broke sucks," Alice threw her head back, "By the way there are no cute guys here."
"And?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Bella," Alice scolded, "you need a guy. You've been single since the first semester of college. It's time to move on."
I just looked at her as tears pricked my eyes. "Bella," she said quietly realizing what she had just said. "Whatever Alice," I snapped as I stormed past her.
I slammed the door to my room shut and jumped on my bed. "Bella, I'm sorry," Alice called through the closed door. "Go away," I yelled hoarsely. "Bella," she said again. I could hear her voice dripping with sympathy. I sat still on my bed, waiting to hear her retreating footsteps. She knew that I couldn't let go. I ran my hand up and down my arm trying to block the memories that flooded my mind.
~FLASHBACK HIGH SCHOOL-SENIOR YEAR~
"James!," I screeched as he opened his door.
"Bella," he smiled at me and caught me as I jumped into his arms. "What brings this smile to your face," he kissed me lightly.
"I got in!" I screamed into his ear.
"No way," his eyebrows rose as his face brightened.
"Yes way," I gave him another hug, "Now we can be together."
"That's fantastic," he swung me around nuzzling his head into the nape of my neck. He set me down and smiled at me again, but this time I noticed that the smile didn't meet his eyes.
"What's wrong," I asked letting go of him.
"I wish I didn't have to tell you," a shadow fell across his face.
My heart thumped wildly as he grabbed my hand. "Tell me what," I asked quietly.
"I'm sick," he looked down as his thumb traced circles across the top of my hand.
"Do you need me to get you some medicine, or soup," I smiled slightly.
"No, Bella. Nothing is going to help me get better."
"What do you mean," my throat started to tighten up.
"I have leukemia," his voice broke.
"What? I asked not wanting to believe him.
"I've known about it for about a year and the treatments are not helping. I had to quit them." He just stared at me.
I let go of his hand and slowly sank down to the floor. "Why, why did you not tell me," I cried as tears rolled down my face.
"I didn't want to accept the truth myself," he sat next to me.
"Why quit the treatments James. Why are you giving up," I cried harder.
"I'm not giving up," he sighed as he wrapped his arms around me. "I can't go through that pain when it's not going to help. It's too late, the doctors caught it too late."
My shoulders shook as my sobs rocked my body. "You can fight this James! I know you can, you're giving up!" I yelled.
"Bella," his voice was thick with despair as he held on to me. "There is nothing I can do."
"Yes there is!" I jerked out of his arms and curled into myself.
"Don't do this Bella," he stood up grabbing my arm as he did. He was crying to as he placed my hand on his chest.
"You can't die," I cried almost in a whisper.
"I know," he nodded running his hand along my forearm.
"I can't go to college without you." I realized, it was hard to swallow all of this.
"No, we are going to go no matter what." He quickly added.
"But-" I began.
"But nothing, we are going to live like nothing is wrong. We are going to go on with life and be happy," he looked me hard in the eyes.
"I love you Jay," I whispered.
"I love you too," he said quietly. He wrapped me in a hug and let me break down on his shoulder.
~END FLASHBACK~
He didn't make it half way through the first semester. "We were supposed to stay together forever, grow old and be happy," I mumbled as I fought the tears back. It's been six years and the memory of him is still raw in my mind. "We were supposed to get married and live happily ever after," I squeezed my arm until it hurt.
The sunlight faded and the night fell upon the neighborhood. I had changed into my pj's and had taken my hair out of the tight ponytail it had been in, letting it spill past my shoulders. My stomach grumbled at me and I sighed stepping out of my room.
"Why aren't you dressed yet," Alice exclaimed as she looked me up and down.
"Huh," I asked confused.
"Remember we said that we would go out tonight. Oh come on Bella you promised," Alice stomped her foot like a little kid.
"Alice I don't want to go out," I whined as I tried to step past her.
"I need a drink, you need a drink," she trilled as she pushed me back into my room pulling out something hot for me to wear.
