Fatal Flaw
There is something inherently romantic about the idea of a fatal flaw. The tragic flaw that causes the demise of glory- it is a notion prized in literature. In plays, the hero overcomes his fatal flaw, and the villain succumbs to his.
He thinks sometimes about the 'fatal flaw'. He's seen the truth of them- that they do not vary by the character of an individual but randomly. Everyone has one, some minor fears, some major traumas. The question that had always haunted him was: what was his? He could only think of one: that people he loved would die before him. And yet there was no one who loved him. So what was his real fatal flaw?
Of late, he thinks he has the answer. It is a relatively new flaw, one only two years old.
His flaw is a soft, weak-looking woman whose appearance belies a heart cut in stone- a heart that falls towards its goal without ceasing. A woman who is his only and current assignment: the jewel she wears at her throat is the power that enslaves his people to the crown. A woman whose eyes could put the glimmer of the moon on the water to shame.
It is when he wakes one morning, as he has done so many times before, and realizes he is no longer surprised to see her in bed beside him. When she carves herself into his life so thoroughly that she becomes routine, he knows he is in trouble. When he undoes all the protective spells on her so he can seize the jewel while she sleeps and then cannot bring himself to tell anyone, to protect her, he knows he is losing.
This is a battle he cannot afford to lose for his parents, his sisters, his dead wife. For everyone who has borne the shackles of a slave.
The problem is that she is only weak and soft when seen through the prism of her worst nightmares. In life, free of war and fear, she would be much different.
She is his fatal flaw, because he is slowly but surely falling in love with her, and the paths they are walking are opposite- they intersect, for brief nights of fire, but head away from each other all the same- leading only into hell.
He wants-something, anything- but he doesn't know what it is, whether it is release from his feeling or her.
And he knows that no matter what he does, there will come a day when he will have to choose- between his fatal flaw and his dream of freedom.
The question is which to choose when he cannot remember there is a choice, caught in the spell of her eyes?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She's no stranger to running away, but she's always known her destination before, and not knowing frightens her. It frightens her that she's put off going into the capital and turning in the gem over and over again. It frightens her that she has begun to doubt everything.
It really frightens her when she doesn't want to leave his side in the mornings after; because that proves that there is something horribly wrong.
Is she running to him or from him? Or is she going in circles, losing her goals? She can't. She can't lose her goal, her destination- she has to save Ryo. He is worth anything.
This is the mantra she whispers at night, or at least she used to, but now some nights belong to him, instead. Now Ryo's name passes her lips less often.
When she hears him speak of the 'fatal flaw', it brings back memories. Of a time when Ryo and she went to see a play about that very subject.
Ryo's fatal flaw would definitely have been his naiveté. And hers?
Hers is her cursed, disgustingly fickle heart. Ryo is her life. Ryo is her life. She says it over and over but the words no longer ring true. Because Ryo isn't here, to remind her stupid self that she loves him more than anyone, doesn't mean she's allowed to love someone else. What kind of person is she? What kind of evil, cruel person is she?
Nothing. Nothing is wrong. She'll refuse him when he catches her next- if he catches, she corrects her treacherous mind- and it'll be different. She'll think of nothing but Ryo, all the time. She'll pour all her love into his memory, until he's the only thing she remembers in her life. Somehow.
Oh, Ryo, I love you, she whispers faintly, but her heart calls out another name in Ryo's place, and she can do nothing but lie and lie and lie as tears mix freely with the cold, lonely night air.
She'll deny it to the end, because there is nothing to deny. Ryo is her life. (and her death, but she squashes that thought.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Feelings are tricky things. That's really the point of this piece. I love the Beloved universe because the relationship is a) angsty (and I like angsty) and b) complicated (and complicated is challenging, which is always good.)
