This is my one shot answer to a challange on litafics on lj where someone comes to the add of a sick lita. (shes sick right now in real life) so let me know what you think!
I peeled down the 401 as fast as my Hummer could take me. It wasn't easy getting this time off, especially when Wrestlemania was so close, but when I heard about her I just couldn't stay away. I didn't know how bad it actually was but I couldn't take a chance, I promised her when she left that I would stay away but some promises are made to be broken.
My eyes rose to read the state sign. Atlanta. It sure had been awhile, with staying away and my recent injury it seemed I hadn't been here in forever. Not like Vince went out of his way to send any of us down here what with TNA based out of Atlanta, I think he is actually a little scared of it. I know Vince McMahon scared of something but its true I think he's afraid he might loose more of us. But not me, no I'm not here on business I'm here for one reason. Her.
Pulling into the driveway, it was just as I remembered it from a year and a half ago…the huge trees, big back yard and even a white picket fence. It was hard to imagine a girl like her living in a house like this but I guess home is where the heart is.
The radio blared on as I sat in the car contemplating my next move. I had driven all this way to see her but could I really go up there and knock on the door? What was I suppose to say? One thing was for sure I couldn't let the car idle all day. For two reasons…one when she did get her voice back she'd yell at me for harming the planet and two it was a good way to get noticed if I decided not to get out of the car.
I turned the key in the ignition to put a stop to the roaring motor. I opened the door and got out, stopping momentarily to soak up the brisk country air. I popped the trunk and grabbed my bag swinging it up over my shoulder as I made my way to the door. It really had been awhile, I couldn't wait to see her gorgeous face again…a face that seemed to haunt me.
My finger pressed lightly against the doorbell before I took a couple of steps back to wait. It felt as though I had been standing there forever when she finally opened the door. She took one look at me and slammed the door in my face, literally leaving me out in the cold.
"Amy…open this door, come on." I said as I pounded my fists against the wooden frame. "Do you know how hard it was for me to get time off to come see you?"
She opened the door and threw a piece of paper in my face before she slammed the door again. In big bold letters the words "I REALLY DON'T CARE" were scribbled on the page.
"Amy, I know you asked me to give you your total space when you left but…I was just so worried when I read you were in the hospital." I yelled into the keyhole, hoping that she was still listening. My loud voice had caught the attention of her dog at least, as he started to violently bark in the back yard.
Moments later she opened the door allowing me inside and motioning for me to take a seat on her sofa. I glanced around the room as she went to get something. I noticed our picture still displayed upon her mantle. Standing up and moving over to it I ran my fingers over the glass, beneath the barrier the words champ of your heart were signed along with I love you 06'. I picked it up momentary until she made her way back into the room, then I immediately put it back in its place and took mine beside her on the sofa.
She must have gone to get more paper because when I sat down she instantly handed me another note. I smiled, I felt for a moment as though I was back in elementary school receiving a "I like you do you like me" note. I opened up the folded paper and read aloud.
"You shouldn't believe everything you read on the dirt sheets. I thought you of all people would know that Mr. Engaged."
That was true, I probly shouldn't have jumped to conclusions from reading that she was sick online that she actually was. After all not everything they print is true usually its highly exaggerated fact. I laughed about the engaged part; sites had been reporting for months that I was engaged when they got their hands on some old photos of Liz and I. What they didn't bother to do was post that it wasn't true when I cleared things up in an Italian interview. It was true that Liz and I had reconciled after Amy left and after I had been out with injury but we've long since terminated that once again. I've come to the conclusion that my injury made me bored and, mine and Liz's long dead relationship became my project. But all that aside she just wasn't Amy.
"So your not sick? That's dumb Ams talk to me." I said handing her back the crumpled piece of paper.
She quickly scribbled down a few more words and handed it back to me.
I am sick, but I was never in hospital. I just can't talk my throat is shot. Plus I'm saving my voice so I can get back on tour.
"Oh." I said.
She nodded.
"Well let me take care of you…" I pleaded. "I drove all this way."
She looked as if she was about to open her mouth to speak when she thought better of it. I ran my fingers up her forearm and down again before finding her hand and laying mine on top of it. "Please." I asked.
Ok. She wrote. But only for tonight, tomorrow I'm headed back out sick or not. You can take the guest room down here. You do remember where it is right?
"Yup" I said retrieving my bag that I had dropped off in the porch and bringing it into the sea foam bedroom. I laid my duffle down onto the queen-sized bed and sat for a moment soaking up all the memories I had in this house. From the first night we spent together or the last one where she told me goodbye. And here I was all this time later sitting in the guest room. Life seemed like such a circle. I mean this was the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and now she acted like she barley knew me.
She pulled me from my thoughts when she knocked softly against the doorframe. I looked up to see her leaning the doorway watching me like she was searching for something to say. Even if she couldn't talk.
"Just a whole lot of memories…" I said looking up at her.
She turned away and nodded. I got up off the bed and moved towards her. "I really miss you." I said hoping that maybe she returned the longing I felt, the emptiness that consumed me without her. She simply refused to look at me. I reached out and stroked her face before I laid my fingers against her defined jaw moving her to look at me. She shrugged me off of her and backed away folding her arms across her chest. A sign of her shielding herself from me.
"Things are different now John." She mouthed.
Maybe she was a little different now then when I'd last seen her, she had a few more tattoos and her once fiery hair was now black as coal. But one look into those deep brown eyes and she was exactly the same as if no time had passed at all.
"Not the way I feel for you." I said.
Once I said it I knew she wasn't ready to hear it. Laryngitis or no laryngitis she was angry and she didn't need words to express that. Her brown eyes glazed and if she didn't think it made her look weak I think she would have cried.
"I don't want to hear it John, and I think you should go. I don't want you in my home." She said in a whisper. Even then it sounded hard on her, there was no way she would good as new by tomorrow.
"I'm sorry…" I started, and then I changed my mind. "Actually I'm not sorry Amy. I'm not sorry that I love you. Because there hasn't been a day since you walked out of my life that I haven't prayed you'd walk right back into it. And being here with you right now has only confirmed that I don't want to live without you…" I told her pulling her close to me yet again.
She pushed me away once more before she took my bag and stormed off flinging out onto the doorstep. She pointed out to wear it had landing motioning for me to take the same route.
"Don't make me go Red." I begged, but it was to late once again I had the door slammed in my face. I stood there for a moment hoping she would change her mind but all I heard was the sound of glass breaking. There was no doubt in my mind that it was our picture. I didn't know why she was fighting me on this but I wasn't so sure I'd ever really know. All I knew was that I was in love with that woman and as stubborn as she was deep down she loved me to.
Lita pov.
I fell to my knees and cried. Why did he have to make this so hard? When I walked away I walked away for good, I needed a clean break. I needed to start fresh and no matter how I felt about him that meant that he could no longer be a part of my life. After all he was a part of the poison that wrestling had turned into. The industry is dead to me, besides how my personal life was exploited look at how it's going backwards, the women have become such jokes I just couldn't handle it anymore. I could only imagine what would happen if they ever found out about John and myself.
I brushed the glass off of the picture and held it to my chest. Breathing in and out, begging for it not to hurt anymore. I almost wished that he had been like the past men in my life; I wished that he would lash out like Matt or be a complete ass-hole like Adam. But he wasn't, he just had to give a shit. Tears fell down my cheeks again rolling off my face and hitting the paper. I looked down and realised that there was something written on the back of the photo to and not just on the front.
Amy, the day I met you I was instantly changed. You make me a better person by just being with you.
You see he had to be so god damn sweet.
I placed the picture back on the mantle without the frame, and knelt back down to clean up the glass. My hand flew back when the glass made contact, instantly breaking the skin. I ran to the kitchen and stuck it under the tap, the pain washing over me just like the water was.
John was better off without me and I knew it. He wanted to get married, live in a big fancy house, have the 2.5 kids and the whole bit. That was never going to be me, and while there was no doubt in my mind and he would give it all up to be with me I couldn't let him do that. He deserved to be a father and he deserved the life that I couldn't give him, no matter how much he thought he loved me.
Time heals everything and I hope that someday soon he realises that. I know he will find some lucky girl who will give him all of that. And that my friends is another reason that it's best he stays away, as much as I want him happy I could never handle seeing him with anyone else.
No we are better off without each other. No matter how much it hurts it works out to less pain in the long run. Ending it now is best for everyone. Who knows it was probly some silly infatuation anyway. I can hear the fans now…Cena and Lita? Never.
I ran my bloodied hand up the wood, if only these walls could talk.
