James Sirius Potter had never been one to beet around the bush. According to his Aunt Hermione, he'd inherited impatience and bluntness from both sides of his family. He'd always assumed that his siblings were the same way. However, it looked that Albus-Severus, fourteen years old and the black, Slytherin sheep of the family, was not. That, or the boy was simply oblivious to the massive amount of flirting Scorpius Malfoy had been doing since the beginning of the year.
James didn't mind Scorpius that much; yes, he was a Malfoy, and a Slytherin, but he'd tried to get along with more Slytherins after his little brother had become one. Plus, Scorpius was a damn good Chaser, and a James enjoyed the challenge of playing against him. That and the boy had crashed a few Gryffindor parties with Albus-Severus, and after his third glass of Fire Whiskey, the kid was a downright joy to be around. And Lily liked him too, after he gave the password to the Slytherin dorms to her (even after Albus-Severus had refused) so she could extract her revenge on Maleficent Thorn, a third year who'd turned her hair the most atrocious shade of pink for a week and a half.
In all honesty, it was the slowly budding friendship with Scorpius that motivated James to attempt to get it through Albus-Severus that his best friend and dorm mate had a crush on him. In the Great Hall, he sat down next to Albus-Severus at the Slytherin table, smirking in satisfaction as the smaller boy jumped when his books hit the table. In Albus-Severus' first year, the brother's had taken to sitting together, whether it was at the Slytherin table, or Gryffindor's. The seating arrangement had been loose then, with siblings occasionally sitting together at whatever table they chose, but after a week straight of the 'almighty Potters' (a name from Scorpius) sitting wherever they wanted, other people started to follow suit and soon any organization of who sat where had gone to hell.
"Hey, Al." James said as he sat, his smile growing wider on his face as Albus-Severus' eyes narrowed behind his glasses in annoyance.
"You took Scorpius' seat." The dark haired boy pointed out.
"There's one on the other side." James answered, reaching over and grabbing a spoonful of mashed potatoes.
Albus-Severus shrugged, returning his attention to the thick book in front of him. "Fine, but don't complain to me when you wake up to a handful of Chizpurfles in your bed sheets."
James snorted and rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He paused for a moment before cutting to the chase. "So, who are you taking to the Yule Ball?"
Albus-Severus shrugged, eyes never leaving his book. "I don't know. It sounds pretty boring; I asked Scorpius who he was taking and he said that there was someone he wanted to ask, but they didn't seem interested. It wouldn't be any fun to go without him."
James rolled his eyes. "If you want to go with him, just ask him."
In response, Albus-Severus merely wrinkled his nose as if he smelled something foul. Due to years of experience, James knew it meant that the younger boy found him annoying. "Stop making fun of me, James. I'm not so desperate that I'm about to ask a boy to a Ball, especially not my best friend."
"Why not?"
Albus-Severus sighed as if a four year old had just asked him to explain Quantum Physics. "Because, James, a Ball mean slow dancing, and, despite your misconceptions, not all gays are poufs who wear dresses, like pink, and would love noting more than a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. Blokes don't ask blokes to slow dance. Besides, Scorpius likes girls, and every one of them in our house is head over heels for him. I think they call him the "Slytherin Sex God", but he finds that quite annoying, because apparently his father had the same nickname when he was in school. There's no way he'd be desperate enough to go with me."
"But you aren't denying that you'd go with him, are you?"
"James, I'm bisexual." Albus-Severus said, exasperated. James wanted to say something in response to the seemingly off hand outing, but Albus-Severus continued without letting him get a word in edgewise. "And I've heard some pretty nasty rumors from the older Slytherin girls concerning Dad and Mr. Malfoy that lead me to believe that Dad participated in some rather… fun experimentation as well. Of course, they could have been teasing me…"
The mashed potatoes James had been enjoying moments before suddenly decided that he should enjoy them a second time around, and he downed a glass of Pumpkin Juice to convince them otherwise before turning on his brother. "Never, ever utter another sentence in my presence that would even suggest that our parents had a sex life, or I will kill you, for real this time." He shivered. "Especially not a sex life including Mr. Malfoy. I'm going to have nightmares about that, I hope you realize."
"I realize." Albus-Severus said, an overly superior smirk developing on his face. "I realize very much."
James' eyes narrowed. "You were trying to change the subject, you sneaky little Slytherin arse."
Albus-Severus raised his hands and clapped quietly in a very sarcastic manor, which his voice matched exactly. "Very good, James. You might pass your O.W.L.s after all."
James bit back a growl and changed his tactics slightly. He leaned forward so it was obvious that the conversation was only between him and his brother and spoke in a hushed tone. "I was asking because I heard about someone who's been waiting for you to ask them to the Ball all year."
This seemed to catch the younger boy's attention and he finally looked up from his book. "Really? Who?"
"You're the almighty smart one; guess." James responded, voice dripping with sarcasm. "It's someone in your house."
"Aquaria Zabini? She likes to hang out with Scorpius and me sometimes, and Scorpius says she likes me. Her dad kind of scares me, though. It'd be weird to go to the Ball with a Professor's daughter; he'd probably glare at me the whole time."
James shook his head. "Not even close. Try someone with blonde hair."
"Farine Flint?"
"Wrong again. I'll give you another hint; it's not a girl."
"James, I told you-"
"Just guess."
"Fine; Chase Pucey, then?"
"Last hint: oddly colored eyes."
"Adrian Bletchley?"
James barely resisted the urge to smash his head against the table. "NO! I swear you're a bloody moron."
Albus-Severus pursed his lips together. "Fine; I didn't want to know that badly anyway. It's not like I'm going. So, you can be a prick all by yourself." He slammed his book closed before storming out of the Great Hall. James sighed and allowed his head to fall to the table before getting up and following his brother.
Fortunately, Albus-Severus had relatively short legs, and James caught up to him near the doors of the Great Hall. He grabbed the slight boy's arm when he noticed Scorpius Malfoy himself sitting on a widow ledge beside Peony Parkinson. Rolling his eyes, but deciding on a plan that would be fool proof, even if his brother insisted on being more dense than a person who had their nose buried in a book so often had any right to be. Ignoring Albus-Severus' startled yells of protest and the way Scorpius' eyebrows shot up into his hairline as when he noticed the scene, James lifted Albus-Severus off the floor with a great show of muscles that were mostly from Quiditch, walked across the room and promptly deposited the squirming boy in Scorpius' lap. Both boys flushed bright red and Peony's jaw dropped.
"There; now stop being dense and go to the Yule Ball together, make out, and be boyfriends and all that crap. I'm sick and tired of watching Scorpius' rather pathetic, one-sided flirting and people asking me if I've realized that my brother is thicker than a brick. Merlin, who'd think that you two could figure this out without me intervening, but no! You both just love being inconveniences, don't you?"
With that, James turned and walked down the hallway, ignoring Albus-Severus' embarrassed sputtering, Scorpius' choked protests and Peony's high-pitched, squeaky laughter reverberating off the walls.
After all, sometimes subtlety is lost, especially on little brothers.
-End-
Voice Off Camera: And the suckage continues.
Silent: It didn't turn out that bad, did it?
VOC: Character development was pathetic; the boys had more mood swings than pregnant women.
Silent: fingers in ears I'm not listening, I'm not listening, and I'm posting it anyway, so shut up.
VOC: Climax of the story happened for no apparent reason…
Silent: Review, please!! No need to flame and tell me I fail at life, VOC reminds me enough on her own.
