The dlapple fic
The dry air whips through my hair, giving me an erection, for I have an unhealthy wind fetish. I grab my throbbing member, but stop, because I know he will help me. And not my father, who I usually whine my ass off to. My father being Lucius Malfoy, because I am Draco Malfoy. The he I speak of is much better.
I return to the dank, dark dungeons in which I live, love, and lust. I throw my top layers on top of Crabbe, who was waiting for me. "Crabbe, you fucktampon I said to get out the condoms." I say, grabbing the box from my secret stash. "Uh, sorry.
I just didn't think you needed a condom to fuck an apple." Crabbe retorted. I do my best me sneer. "No, you ass dildo I do need the condom. My cum would flood the dungeon if I didn't." I say. "Oh." Crabbe nods in complete understanding. I give him a thumbs up and walk into my bedroom.
When I walk in, I nearly scream. Luna Lovegood, aka Looney Luna, is sitting on my bed with him up her vagina. "How..?" I numbly start, staring at the horrible scene unfolding before me. "How the fuck did you get in? You are a Ravenclaw and he's a fucking apple what the fuck?" I say. Luna looks at me imploringly. "Draco," she starts sexily, "I have my ways." She grabs my member and rubs it up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down until I moan. I shove the apple into her va jay-jay. She pushes me down, and shoves the other half of the apple into my mouth. I scream a sound of ecstasy right before I cum a beautiful arc of thick, white translucent liquid into the air. Luna rides her orgasm out as I moan. *insert the rest of the sexy times here because it's too god damn early for me to be writing this shit, please include sex position 69 in your wildest fantasies.*
The next morning I wake up covered in cum, sweat, v-hole juice, apple secretion, and other various fluids. I moan slightly, remembering the night before. I look up, and see Luna jumping out the window with my apple. "WHAT THE FUCK WE ARE UNDERGROUND WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A WINDOW THERE!" I scream in confusion. Luna just waves as she rides a nargle into the sunset with my apple in her mouth.
