Heh, I know I should be working on my real fics, but I decided to take a break from my high quality ones, and write this utterly bizarre, pointless one-shot in honor of Seto's birthday. Happy birthday, Seto, however old you are! Hope you like your present, even if it's you being tortured. ^_~ I'll get back to my real fics now, I promise. This might end up being one of a bunch of little one-shots in an arc I do if I get bored or have Writer's Block; it's up to you if I actually do anything like that. =P Feedback is essential.

~*~*~*~

"It's a sandwich."

"It's a Monarch butterfly!"

"Why would it be a butterfly?"

"Just look at it! Can't you tell? It's got the wing shape, the antennae, everything! Trust me; I know my bugs, and THAT is a Monarch butterfly."

".....Are you sure it isn't a pretzel?"

"WHY would it be a pretzel?!"

"Doesn't it look pretzel shaped? It just has no holes. Have you ever eaten a pretzel without holes before?"

"No."

"Neither have I."

"I don't think they exist."

"Are you sure? They probably do, but we just haven't seen them yet."

"Why would people want to make solid pretzels?"

"So they're less hungry after they eat it. Pretzel sticks don't have holes."

"That's because they're straight lines! What would they do, punch a hole through the dough?"

"They could."

"Again, I ask, why would they WANT to?!"

"How should I know? You're the one who came up with the idea."

"Me? YOU'RE the one who brought up the whole thing! You and your stupid pretzels...."

"Pretzels can't be stupid. They're inanimate objects."

"I KNOW that!"

"Then why did you contradict yourself, if you knew?"

"Let's get back to the subject, okay? What IS it with you and food right now?"

"I'm hungry."

"Didn't you just eat a half hour ago?"

"Yes."

"Then...."

"It wasn't very much. Besides, I was sharing with you, remember?"

"I remember. I'll pay you back tomorrow."

"Good. Weren't we supposed to be going back to the subject now?"

"Was there ever a subject to begin with? I guess we should."

"Mmhmm. You know, that could be a bean."

"A _bean_?"

"Yeah, laying on it's side. A pinto bean, maybe."

"You're NUTS."

"No, I'm beans."

"Don't make me hurt you...."

"What'd I do?!"

"Nothing, nothing...."

"Good. So why would you want to hurt me?"

"Never mind."

"Isn't it unusually aggressive for you to threaten to hurt me when I didn't do anything?"

"Just drop it, okay?"

"Really, I want to know. It isn't like you at all."

"I thought I told you to drop it!"

"Yeah, you did, but you still never answered my question."

"DROP IT!"

"Okay, okay! You don't have to yell, I can hear you just fine....."

"With that thick skull of yours, I'm surprised you can hear anything at all. That, and the hat. How on EARTH do you hear anything with a toque over your ears?"

"It's not a toque! And I TOLD you that I could hear perfectly well, if you would just take my word for it...."

"Yes it is! It even looks like you knit it yourself. Can you knit?"

"No."

"Then where'd you buy it?"

"My grandma made it for my birthday."

"Oh, very cute...."

"Shut up."

"Why should I?"

"Because I told you to."

"You and what army?"

"I'm not old enough to go to the army; you know that. You aren't either, so you might as well give up on the idea. Why do you want to join the army?"

"I don't."

"But you just said--"

"Figure of speech. Forget about it."

"But--"

"I SAID, forget about it."

"Fine, fine...."

"You really do get us off-topic, don't you? Look at how sidetracked we are...."

"I know, I know.... but I still think it's a pinto bean."

"You're wrong! It's a Hummingbird Hawk Moth. The wings have this EXACT shape."

"It's an INKBLOT, you morons!" Seto shouted, his patience having finally worn thin. He was sitting in a large chair with a pile of papers on the arm and a clipboard in his lap, the other two sitting next to each other in front of him.

"Are you sure you didn't mean to draw a Hummingbird Hawk Moth?" Weevil demanded. "It does look like you did, you know. Just exactly like it!"

"I STILL say he drew a pinto bean." Rex insisted, self-consciously adjusting his hat.

"_I_ didn't draw it." Seto rolled his eyes, biting back a stinging comment.

"Well, whoever DID draw it, then." Weevil amended imperiously, still positive he was right.

"NOBODY drew it." Seto growled, looking down at the inkblot picture he'd been holding for them to look at.

"Then how could it be there?" Rex demanded. "You see? _Somebody_ had to, and saying nobody did is nonsense, because we can ALL see it's there, right? You have good eyesight, so you should be able to see it just as well as I can. I don't know if Weevil can very well, though, since he's got glasses. Maybe that's why he can't tell it's a pinto bean."

"It's an INKBLOT." Seto repeated. "Nobody DREW it; they just spilled some ink on a piece of paper! It's not SUPPOSED to look like anything!"

"Well, they certainly didn't do a very good job, if it isn't." Rex concluded.

Seto groaned out loud, setting the inkblot down and massaging his temples. He was getting a massive migraine. "I am never, ever, EVER working on a project with you two again....."