disclaimers: I do not own DBZ

YAOI! BOyxBoy love! :P



WILL YOU REMEMBER ME?

Goten gazed at the distant cherry trees, pink blossoms floating lethargically to the vast expanse of dew covered grass. The crystalline drops shimmered under the morning sun. Goten sighed, weakly retiring to his bed. The nineteen year old turned the blankets down and crawled inside the cocoon, snuggling the pillow. He stared at his reflection in the window, a small smile curling his lips. At least his appearance was not suffering. The bright and sparkling chocolate eyes, the lopsided cut raven hair full of volume, the short, muscular frame toned to perfection. Goten chuckled watching bird titter its tune on a tree limb. If only... If only he had- Goten immediately slivered that train of thought. There were too many 'if onlys.'

He grabbed one of the picture frames on the bedside table. It was of his family. Standing comically, the infectious and famous Son grin plastered on his face with his grandaughter, Pan, perched on his shoulders was Goku. Goten laughed softly. Goku was always happy..well..not lately. Goten frowned. He hated to bring his family such bad tidings. Beside Goku, on his left, was Chichi; the harpy of a mother who since learning the truth had turned a complete 180. She was patient, caring, and attentive. On Goku's right was Gohan; glasses on his nose, a bemused expression accentuating his face as he peekd at his little daughter. Gohan had been the one to find it. He was, afterall, a doctor. Videl, who was a big sister to Goten even before Gohan and her got married, had her arm tucked through the crook of Gohan's elbow, eyes shining with love. Pan, tiny hands around Goku's neck, was the only one not smiling fully. Goten shook his head dismally. Pan saw through Goten's charade.

Goten returned the picture to the table, taking the other one. Goten traced the boy in the photograph, fingers lingered yearningly. The young man was one year old Goten's senior. Chin-length lavendar hair fell straight and smooth, cerulean eyes-like cornflowers-shone with joy, the lean, tall and hardened physique a bronzed tone. "Trunks," Goten whispered. They had been friends since childhood attached at the hip, never straying from the others sides. Goten frowned, at tear rolling down his cheek to spill against the glass. He had lied to his best friend. The one he cared for the most did not know. What did one say? Do? Goten sighed. Soon, Trunks would see for himself without words. He could not hide it forever, not that he had that long to begin with.

The door opened, Chichi stepped inside bearing a tray of food and drink. She smiled sadly, just as she did everytime. Gohan appreciated her concern, but it got to be distressing to see her so worried. Chichi set the food onto a cart, wheeling it over to the bed so that Goten could reach it. Chichi ran a hand through her son's hair, trying hard not to let the tears fall. She had to be strong for him. Chichi dipped the spoon into the mashed potatoes, chuckling at the unamused smile on Goten's face. "I know your not a baby Goten. Speaking of babies; Gohan, Pan and Videl are coming over or have you forgotten its your birthday?"

Goten groaned, suddenly not feeling very hungry. All of the Z Senshi would be arriving before six. Goten glanced at the clock. It was now two. Goten pouted, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Why do they ~all~ have to come Mom?"

"Because, they've been around you since you were born. Besides...it may be your last time to be with them all," Chichi hated herself for causing the flash of pain in her youngest child's eyes. She was the only one who would be serious with him. Goku, Gohan, and his family were trying to forget that Goten was-Chichi paused in her thinking. She couldn't say it. It hurt too much. Chichi rested a hand on Goten's forehead, kissing his head. "Goten..I'm sorry but you were thinking it too."

"Yeah Mom..I was. At least you don't treat me like I'm a doll."

Chichi nodded. "Because I know your stronger and you will get better."

"Who are you kidding Mom? I'm not."

"Goten, don't you think its about time we told the other Z Senshi?"

"NO! I dont want them knowing! It was hard enough to tell you guys and see the way you guys act around me? I dont want them to feel sorry for me. I dont need pity."

Chichi threw her arms up in the air, a show of giving up. "I dont know what to make of you Goten. With your friends being around, it would make it so much easier...especially Trunks. Dont you think he deserves to know at least?"

Goten shook his head vigorously. "Not him Mom. He is the one person I don't want knowing."

"Fine Goten but if you don't tell him by the end of this week, I will." Chichi regretted mentioning the week. "I'm so sorry sweetie! I keep saying the wrong things!"

"Its okay Mom. I may not be around at the end of the week. No use denying it."

"How can you be so accepting about it Goten?"

"Because I'm not scared. I've known for a while now and I've been preparing." Chichi swiftly left the room, hiding the tears. Goten sighed, taking a drink of the water. Goten refused to take pills. They wouldn't help and he wanted to be lucid the last moments of life. He had tried medicine, but..it made him too groggy and annoyed. Goten could hear the door downstairs slam. Gohan was here. Goten rose from the bed, calming the dizziness that swept into his mind.

Goten slowly went downstairs, clutching the railing like a scared child. To the outside observer, watching Goten would have proven awkward. A strong, well proportioned young man hobbling down the stair case like an old person who had lost his former strength. One didn't know whether to help him or let him do it himself. Thats the way Goku, Gohan, and Videl felt. They had to watch as Goten, paintstakingly, took one step at a time. They felt helpless. That was the main reason they acted different around Goten now then before they learned the truth. Goten made it to the bottom, ready to pass out from exhaustion. He could have flown but it used too much of the small amount of ki he had remaining.

Pan, the five year old daughter of Gohan and Videl, took her uncles' hand and guided him to a chair. Goten smiled at his little niece, pulling her into his lap. "Thanks Panny-chan." Goten hugged her.

"Welcome Uncle."

Videl, who loved her brother-in-law dearly, approached him. "How are you feeling Goten?"

"Best as expected."

Chichi broke the silence that had settled itself upon the people in the living room. "Videl, would you like to help me make the meal?"

"Sure."

Videl's happy visage melted when in the kitchen, door safely shut. "No better, huh?"

"No. Worse, actually. You saw him. He can barely come downstairs anymore."

"Its not fair," Videl sobbed. She wiped the tears, crying softly. "Why him Chichi?"

"Who knows....who knows," Chichi shook her head, silently weeping with Videl.

Inside the living room, Gohan prodded Pan gently. "Why don't you go help Mom and Grandma?" After Pan cleared the room, Gohan sank beside his brother. "Goten. Have things changed? I mean..have you noticed any?"

"What do you think Gohan?" Goten asked exasperately. Leave it to Doctor Gohan to ask the questions that made him feel lousy. "No, I haven't. Happy?"

"Damn Goten, I was only asking. No need to get defensive."

Goten rolled his eyes, fed up with it. "Its always like this Gohan. You and Dad both." Goku got a very guilty look on his face. "You treat me like there's hope! There. Isn't!!! Get that through your heads and don't talk to me like I'm a kid! When you will realize, that I'm dying?! That, very soon, I may not be here! I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you both but I'm sick of it. I want to live the last days of my life without it."

Gohan gnawed his lips, eyes misting. "I just dont want to lose you Goten." Gohan took his leave for the kitchen, where no doubt, his wife, daughter, and mother were sobbing just like they did everytime they came over.

Goku swallowed the lump in his throat, he wasn't one for crying. Goku put his arm around his son's shoulders, drawing him into a hug. This wasn't the first time he had to comfort Goten, and himself, after an arguement with Gohan. Though..something told Goku it was the last time. Goku hated it. He hated the illness that had affected his son. He wanted to do something but he was powerless. The man who had defeated Freeza, Cell, and Majin Buu was useless. "Son, I know your hurting. We love you and we want to help you."

"Whats the point Dad?"

"What do you mean whats the point? Don't you want to live?"

"It doesn't bother me. Besides....I don't have anybody to live for."

"How can you say that?! You have us."

"No..you all have someone. You have Mom. Gohan has Videl. I have...nobody."

"Thats what this is about? You want someone to love?"

".....Maybe.."

"Goten...."

"Don't..."

"...Fine..... Answer me this.... If you had someone.....and there was a cure..would you try to live and fight it?"

"I don't know but its not going to happen..is it?"

Goku closed his eyes. He needed to leave now. With Instant Transmission, he dissappeared to a ki that was close by. Goten leaned against the cushiony couch. How many more get togethers would he ruin? "Not many," Goten whispered to himself.

* * *

*reviewers throw tomatoes* I"M SORRY! ;_;

Song:

Angel - Sarah McLachlan

Spend all your time waiting

for that second chance

for a break that would make it okay

there's always one reason

to feel not good enough

and it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction

oh beautiful release

memory seeps from my veins

let me be empty

and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel

fly away from here

from this dark cold hotel room

and the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

of your silent reverie

you're in the arms of the angel

may you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line

and everywhere you turn

there's vultures and thieves at your back

and the storm keeps on twisting

you keep on building the lie

that you make up for all that you lack

It don't make no difference

escaping one last time

it's easier to believe

in this sweet madness

oh this glorious sadness

that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel...

You're in the arms of the angel

may you find some comfort here