Title: Unforgivable mistake

Author: Andra Marie

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Yes, I know that I don't own anything or anybody. Besides, that costs money, right?

Summary: AU (it will be). Crossover. Angel finds out that he was Buffy's true happiness in Heaven. Buffy ventures to LA only to make a startling discovery.

Spoilers: Flooded. Offspring.



Buffy gripped the steering wheel even harder. /Concentrate on the road, Buff. You don't need to kill yourself again./ But she couldn't help but to let her mind wander. She was going to meet Angel.her angel.

He had called her after he learned that she was alive-and back. At first, this sent a pang of guilt through her, wondering why she hadn't called him earlier. But all that mattered was that she was going to see him now.

She pulled her car into the parking space of an old, dingy bar about 50 minutes away from Sunnydale. As soon as she opened the door, she could feel Angel's presence. She spotted him sitting with his back turned in a booth in a dark corner of the bar. She walked slowly over to him, and gently put her hand on his shoulder.

Angel jumped, startled. He could feel her warmth going through his cold, dead body. It had been so long since he had felt her touch. He had gone through every different scenario of Buffy returning through his mind since he found out of her death. He couldn't really believe she was alive, and now with her hand on his shoulder.

"Buffy?"

"Hey Angel." There was something in her tone that made him worry. She sat down slowly in the seat opposite Angel.

He didn't need to say 'So.you're back." He didn't need to restate the obvious. The look in her eyes explained a lot.

"Willow did her magic and brought me back. I know they were all trying to help,..."

She couldn't hold back the tears anymore. She had kept all of her emotions inside around her friends and Giles. Now she was with someone who she could share everything with.

Angel went around the table and sat down beside her.

"Everything is going to be okay, Buff." Angel said with his arms wrapped around her-rocking her.

"No it's not. It will never be. They took me away from heaven.they took me away from you," she managed to choke out through tears.

Angel looked down at her, astonished. How could he be in heaven? He had been an awful person in his lifetime.

"Heaven was a place for you to experience true happiness.to have that warm feeling all over. For me, that was you. You were my true happiness, Angel. And it wasn't about the sex. it was just us being together without all of the extra baggage hanging around us, just you and me."

He knew how hard this must be on her, to experience bliss and then have it ripped away from you.

"They couldn't have known, Buffy. They were just trying to help."

"I know, but it feels like they were being selfish. They were only thinking of themselves and what they needed. I can't help but to think of what they took away from me when I see them. I try to hide my resentment, but sometimes it just gets overwhelming." Buffy managed to slow down the sobs, and tried to gather herself.

"Buffy, you know you can always come to me. You can come down to LA, or I can come to Sunnydale. I am always here for you, whether you just need to talk, or to listen, or just have someone near you. "

Angel meant those words more than anything. As much as it hurt him to see her, to know what he couldn't ever have, her happiness came first. It always had. If he could take away just a little bit of her pain, it was worth his.

After a few more minutes of holding and crying, they both thought it would be best if they left.

"Willow and Dawn will get worried if I'm not home."

"Yeah, and the sun will be up in a few hours, so I better get back to LA."

They awkwardly got out of the booth and walked out of the door.

"Well, I'll see you." Angel said outside the door. This was the hard part, saying good-bye to her when everything in him wanted to reach out and grab her forever.

"Yeah." Buffy lowered her head and began to walk to her car. But before she could get very far, she fealt a cold hand grab her shoulder and turn her around.

"You know I am here for you whenever you need me." Angel managed, in as neutral voice as he could muster.

"I always need you Angel. I never stopped and I never will."

With that, Buffy walked back to her car, leaving a hurt Angel standing alone, speechless. She knew her words hurt him- they hurt her to. Heaven showed her how much she really did need Angel when she was alive. Now that she's back and can't be with him, it made her resent her friends even more.

Angel didn't know what to think while driving back to LA. To know that he was her true happiness just made him want to be with her even more. But he knew he couldn't, for the same reasons he left her after the Ascension.