So, I recently discovered that there aren't any stories about Star Wars characters watching YouTube videos about the franchise. I was honestly surprised, so I decided to make my own!
Please note: I've only seen Episodes I-VII and some of The Clone Wars. I haven't seen Rogue One or Rebels, although I know some of the stuff surrounding them. I also don't know much about the expanded universe besides Mara Jade's existence. So don't expect any Rebels or EU stuff. Also, this is my first time writing, so please be nice. Constructive criticism is welcome, but do it politely.
As for the YouTube videos covered, I'm going (at least for now) stick to videos surrounding quick recaps of the saga. I'm starting with my own favorites, but if you guys have any suggestions please let me know in the reviews!
This occurs in the middle of The Clone Wars, sometime after Mortis but before Satine dies (there's a reason for that). I haven't decided exactly when yet.
This first video is "THE STAR WARS RECAP SONG" by The Warp Zone. It's gotten stuck in my head constantly since I watched it for the first time. Anything that would appear on-screen is in parentheses, unless it's obvious.
Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to Disney, and the videos belong to their rightful makers.
23 BBY Coruscant
He was already done with today, and it wasn't even lunchtime yet.
In a rare reprise from the war, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, his former Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, and his padawan Ahsoka Tano were spending time at the Jedi Temple. Next thing Anakin knows, he's in the middle of what appears to be Padme's apartment, along with Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, and the Jedi Council.
After everyone got over the initial shock (C-3PO taking the longest), Padme realized that there was a holocron on her coffee table that hadn't been there before the Jedi had appeared. Picking it up, she handed it to Master Yoda. The ancient Jedi Master opened it, and a recording of a voice played:
"To Padme Amidala, Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, and the Jedi Council:
I come from a galaxy where your story, as well as your future, are considered to be fictionist tales created for entertainment. Everything from the discovery of Anakin on Tatooine to more than five decades into your future has been covered.
We also have a system similar to the Holonet, where people make self-made videos (our galaxy's version of a holo) and publish them, also for entertainment. Some of these videos are of the series that was made of your lives, called Star Wars. Enclosed here are some of those videos. After this message, and after each video, this holo will turn off automatically, and will resume at the next video when turned on again. Enjoy.
Please know: this is not going to be a happy story for you, nor will these be easy to watch. All but three of you in this room will be dead by the end of the war if these events unfold, all of you in twenty-four years.(1) This is a story mainly about Jedi, but affects the entire galaxy. Senator Amidala is here because this is also the story of her children and grandchildren.
-A friend
P.S. Anakin and Padme: tell the others what happened after The First Battle of Geonosis. They will find out either way."
As soon as the message ended, the entire Council and Ahsoka turned to Anakin and Padme. Obi-Wan crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow in anticipation. What have you gotten yourself into this time Anakin? he thought to himself.
The couple looked at each other, then Anakin sighed. "Right after Geonosis, when I was escorting Padme home to Naboo, the two of us got married."
For a minute, the other Jedi in the room just stared at him. Then the entire room exploded into noise, different members of the Council arguing with one another, saying things like "I knew this would happen" or "We have failed him." Only Obi-Wan and Ahsoka stayed quiet.
"Quiet, you will be!" At the sound of the Jedi Grand Master's voice, all of the Jedi fell silent. "Watch these videos now, we will. Wait, the fate of Skywalker and Amidala can."
"But Master Yoda-" Master Windu was silenced by a look from the green alien, who turned to Anakin's master and padawan. "Know, did you?" They both shook their heads.
"Anakin, why didn't you tell me? " Obi-Wan asked. Anakin looked away, unable to meet his eyes. "There were so many times I wanted to. But I just couldn't bring myself to, especially after you were appointed to the Council. I couldn't make you choose between the Code and me."
Padme decided to step in at this time. "Let's just watch these. The recording said that this is the story of my children and grandchildren, which makes it also about Anakin's children and grandchildren. I for one want to see this future, even if it's unhappy. Perhaps we can find a way to prevent it." Without another word, she approaches the holo and turns it back on.
(Shows an old-fashioned movie theater, "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" is on the entrance)
"What is that?" Said Ahsoka.
"I have no idea, but I would assume that this is where those in the other galaxy watch movies, whatever those are." Obi-Wan replied.
(Cut to inside the theater, full of people dressed up in Star Wars gear, from T-shirts to full on cosplay. A man dressed like Han Solo steps in front of the screen with a guitar and starts singing)
Star wars has returned,
To resume its storyline,
Between the last film and now,
Well, it's been a long long time,
If you've forgotten anything,
We'll remind you now,
In a very detailed recap,
Of how it all went down. (screen shows "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...")
"A long time ago? But I thought this was the future." "They must not have created this until the future, Ani, now hush." It was then that everyone noticed that the holo paused when Anakin started talking and started again when he and Padme had finished.
Escape pod to Tatooine, (R2 and 3PO's pod falling to Tatooine at the beginning of ANH)
Jawas, sentient machines, (Jaws, R2 falling over)
Young skywalker, sunset scene, (Luke looking at the twin suns of Tatooine)
R2 and Sand People scream.
"Skywalker? He must be our son. I wonder why R2 is there" Anakin, who had been scowling at the Sand People on the holo, smiled and pulled his wife closer.
"He looks a lot like the both of you, Master." Ahsoka said. The other Jedi remained silent, watching Anakin and how he behaved around Padme. None of them (with the exceptions of Obi-Wan and Ahsoka) had ever seen the knight so relaxed. At least not since he was a child.
Obi Wan in long dark robes,
Must repair C-3P0, (Obi-Wan and Luke picking up 3PO after the run-in with Sand People)
"Master look! It's you! Wow, you god old. Looks like you survive!"
"Yes, Anakin. It seems I'm one of the three people in this room to survive. Although why I am on Tatooine with your son is beyond me, or why C-3PO is there."
"It's because we're dead." Padme whispered. When everyone looked at her, she explained, "The only reason that I could think of to send our son to Tatooine would be because everyone else in the family is dead, and Owen Lars, a moisture farmer on the planet, is Anakin's stepbrother. Obi-Wan is probably there to train Luke as a Jedi."
This relegation sobered everyone up, and they continued watching.
"Obi Wan you're my only hope!" (Leia's hologram message)
Uncle Owen! Aunt ooh… nope! (Luke running up to the Lars homestead, finding the smoking remains of his aunt and uncle)
Everyone looked, horrified at the sight. Padme cried into Anakin's shoulder, who was barely holding it together himself. Even though he had only met the couple once, they were the only connection to his mother he had left, and they had taken his son in and raised him.
Mos Eisley,
Lots of weirdos, (inside Mos Eisley Cantina)
Not the droids as far as we know, (Obi-Wan mind tricking the Stormtroopers)
Han shoots first,
Bye bye Greedo,
Chewie, jump up to lightspeed go! (Han and Chewie taking the Millennium Flacon into hyperspace)
"Dressed like Han, the singer is. Important, Han must be."
Alderaan to smithereens, (Alderaan being blown up by the Death Star)
"No!" came the yell from everyone.
"How is that even possible? What sort of weapon is even able to do that?" Ahsoka cried.
"I think," Mace Windu's voice was hoarse, but he cleared his throat and continued. "I think that these must be the plans that Count Dooku was carrying at Geonosis."
"That's no moon"
Tractor beam, (the Falcon being pulled into the Death Star)
Dress up as the other team, (Luke taking off the Stormtrooper helmet)
To save the captured future queen. (Leia looking at Luke for the first time)
"Like her mother, the princess looks." Everyone looked at Yoda in shock.
"What?" Padme and Anakin both said.
"Like Amidala, the girl looks. Children, the holo said. Plural, that is." Everyone digested this.
"Why were they separated? It's obvious that neither of them has never seen the other or even known of each others' existence." No one had an answer for Padme.
Dodging blasters,
Trash compactor,
Quote off between duelling actors, (fight between Vader and Obi-Wan)
Wayward student slays his master, (Obi-Wan killed by Vader)
"NO!" Anakin and Ahsoka both shouted. No one knew what to say. They were all in shock. Anakin looked like he wanted to track down whoever the man in the black suit was in this time and kill them.
No one noticed how it said that Obi-Wan was Vader's master.
Must escape but must go faster. (Luke boarding the Falcon and escape from the Death Star)
TIE fighters, hot pursuit, (TIE fighters after the Falcon)
Don't get cocky kid just shoot! (Han and Luke shooting the TIE fighters)
"Looks like the boy got your piloting skills, Skywalker." Master Mundi said. Anakin smiled at the fact, but was still mentally recuperating from the sight of Obi-Wan's death.
Yavin IV, (the Falcon approaching Yavin IV)
Prep the troops, (briefing room before The Battle of Yavin)
May the force be with you, Luke. (Luke in his x-wing, R2 in the droid seat)
Plus Red 10, 3, 6, ET AL, (Red Squad)
Torpedoes miss, (failed attempt at shooting the Death Star)
Computers fault, (tracking computer)
Use the force now Luke don't stall! (Luke right before he puts away his tracking computer)
Vader! Falcon! (Han in the Falcon driving away Vader's TIE fighter)
Vader, his name is Vader. Now just to see if that's his real name and if not who he really is.
Phew! Close call. (Vader's TIE fighter spinning away)
Death star goes klabooey, (Death Star blowing up)
"Wow, that's an impressive shot." Anakin said. "I'm not sure if even I could make that."
Ahsoka laughed, "That just proves that he's your son."
Everyone get out there zoomy, (the Rebel fleet flying away)
Medals for their royal duty,
Han and Luke but eh not Chewie. (medal scene at the end of ANH)
Star Wars, Star Wars.
This is everything that happens in
Star Wars, Star Wars.
(everyone in the theater dancing around, "Star Wars" on the screen)
"I am still so confused about this part, Master. Who are those people, and why are they there?" Ahsoka asked.
"My guess is that they are just there to make this video." Kit Fisto said.
Ice planet, (view of Hoth from space)
Wampa cave, (Luke hanging upside down in wampa cave)
Obi-Wan laughed. "Looks like he inherited the Skywalker trait of always managing to get in trouble!" Anakin just glared playfully at him.
Obi Wan beyond the grave, (Obi-Wan talking to Luke on Hoth)
"What in the name of the Force?" Saesee Tiin said.
"Appears, it has, that Master Kenobi has found the way to communicate with the living after death." Yoda said. Everyone looked surprised that such a thing were possible, but accepted it.
Solo in the blizzard, brave, (Han riding up to Luke on a Tauntaun)
Tauntaun guts,
Luke is saved! (Luke in bacta tank with Leia, Han, and 3PO watching)
Back to base of frozen water, (hanger on Hoth)
Nerf herder, (Leia yelling at Han)
Kiss that's awkward, (Leia kissing Luke)
"Wait, have we decided if those two are siblings yet? Because if they are they obviously don't know it." Ahsoka said with disgust.
Star destroyers,
Giant walkers,
Lots and lots of rebels slaughtered. (Battle of Hoth)
Everyone was somber at the obvious magnitude of lives lost in this horrible future.
Asteroids! (the Falcon going through the asteroid belt)
Take a breather, (Leia on the Flacon)
Rawr! Enormous phallic creature! (worm thing trying to eat the Falcon)
To Dagobah Luke! (Luke approaching Dagobah)
Where you'll meet your ancient mupper jedi teacher. (first appearance of Yoda)
"Master Yoda! Well that's two of the three people in this room who survive the war. Who is the third?" Obi-Wan said.
Physical and mental training, (Luke training with Yoda on his back)
Vader vision, (Vision of Vader vs Luke on Dagobah)
Yoda's phrasing, (Luke in Vader's mask vision)
"Well that's not disturbing at all," Agen Kolar said, ignoring the glares he was getting from Anakin and Padme.
"Do or do not"
X-Wing raising,
Whoop! Gotta go!
Friends need saving. (Luke leaving Dagobah)
"Looks like the boy has also inherited Skywalker's need to save those close to him." Master Windu with slight distain. Attachment, after all, made a Jedi vulnerable. This boy had to be careful.
Cloud city, wariness, (Bespin)
Once more 3P0's a mess, (3PO taken apart)
Anakin, Obi-Wan, and smiled. That droid was always getting into trouble.
Darth teams up with Boba Fett, (Vader and Boba Fett surprising Han Leia and Chewie)
As the worlds worst dinner guests.
Padme and Anakin immediately worried for their daughter.
Luke is on his way, although, (Luke approaching Bespin)
Now Luke was added to the list of people being worried about.
Carbonite for poor Han Solo, (carbonite room)
Altered deal, (Vader talking to Lando)
Dammit Lando!
Awesome kiss,
"I love you."
"I know"
(a few chords on the guitar, everyone in the audience anticipating)
Just like the holo had the rapt attention of those in the room.
Luke and Vader this is it.
Epic battle, trading hits, (Luke vs Vader in the carbonite room)
Sabers clash, pop and fizz, (Luke and Vader in open cavern)
Nothing is as cool as this,
Vader cuts him at the wrist, (Vader taking Luke's hand)
"NO!" Anakin shouted. As the only one in the room who had lost a limb to a lightsaber battle, he knew the mental and physical toll that it took on someone. He didn't want that for anyone else, let alone his son. Everyone looked at the couple with sympathy.
High above an endless pit, (Luke clinging to support)
Dark side pitches,
Luke resists,
"I am your father."
Holy shit!
"WHAT?!" Came the outcry from everyone in the room. Everyone turned to Anakin, who was in such a state of shock he could barely talk.
"But, but, I would never turn. Never."
"The video said children and grandchildren, Ani. Maybe Vader is our child, and Luke and Leia our grandchildren." Anakin nodded, even though he didn't seem to believe her.
Star Wars, Star Wars. (a person dressed as a Stormtrooper looks at the person next to him, who is dressed as Vader, strangely)
This is everything that happens in
Star Wars, Star Wars.
(more singing and dancing to the Star Wars logo)
"How can they just sit there and dance to this like it doesn't mean anything?" Shaak Ti asked.
"Remember, they think that this is just a story. They don't know that it's real." Obi-Wan wisely said.
Jabba's palace, next vendetta, (Jabba in his palace)
Chewie captured, plan develops, (Chewie brought before Jabba with Lando watching)
Leia's bounty hunter getup,
Unfreeze Han but it's a setup! (Leia freeing Han only to be captured again)
"She's our daughter," Padme whispered. "Anakin and I discussed baby names a couple months ago, just a random conversation. We agreed that if we ever were to have children, our fist boy would be Luke and our first daughter Leia."
"So that means that I DO turn. Why? How? When? At least we know the third person to survive this year." Anakin sat slumped in his seat, defeated. He had somehow turned into the very thing he wanted to destroy.
Luke shows up in Tatooine-y, (Luke in front of Jabba in Jedi robe)
Leia's super hot bikini, (Leia in front of Jabba in bikini)
Rancor fight, (Luke vs Rancor)
That bikini. (Leia in front of Jabba in bikini)
Sarlacc pit,
Dat bikini... (Leia standing in front of Jabba right before Luke and co are thrown to sarlacc)
Padme and Anakin both looked furious at the Hutt for what he did to their children.
Walk the plank, (Luke walking up to sarlacc pit)
But the plan is set, (Luke nodding to lando)
Green lightsaber catch, no sweat! (Luke catching his green lightsaber)
"Wait a minute, I just realized. How did Young Skywalker get his first lightsaber?" Plo Koon said.
"I don't know, but it looked a lot like mine. Maybe it was mine, and Obi-Wan gave it to him."
Jabba grossly choked to death, (death of Jabba)
The same is true for Boba Fett.
While it isn't right to be happy about someone's death, everyone in the room, especially those who had delt directly with Hutts, looked relieved at the outcome.
To Dagobah Luke retreats, (Luke's return to Dagobah)
Master Yoda dies in peace, (death of Yoda)
Even though they remembered that no one in the room was going to survive the next two and a half decades, everyone was somber at the death of Master Yoda.
Kenobi paints a family tree, (Obi-Wan's Force ghost telling Luke that Leia is his sister)
Remember that one kissing scene? (Hoth kiss, cosplayers of Luke and Leia look at each other weird)
"Well, I guess that answers that question." Ahsoka said, still slightly disgusted.
Death Star almost good to go, (half-built Second Death Star)
The Emperor now joins the show, (Emperor Palpatine turning in chair)
"So there's an emperor. I bet he has something to do with how and why Anakin turned." Obi-Wan said. He himself could barely believe it, but he was forcing himself to hold it together. His words only made Anakin realize something.
"I kill you. Master, you're like a brother to me, and I kill you." Padme puts her hand on Anakin's shoulder.
"The future isn't set, Ani. Maybe we can change it."
Endor is more frightening though, (Luke Leia Han Chewie and co trekking through Endor's forest)
With Teddy Bears with bows and arrows! (Ewoks coming up to co)
Luke gets caught, confronts his Dad, (Stormtroopers bringing Luke to Vader)
Come with me, you're not all bad! (Luke trying to convince Vader)
"No, once one the Dark Side, lost one is. There is no return."
Rebels move in to attack,
The Death Star, but oops, (Rebel fleet approaching Second Death Star)
"It's a trap!"
One more saber fights a given, (Luke vs Vader)
Vader's hand cut, symbolism! (wires of Vader's cut hand)
"Wow, he must be good to beat you Master. Either that or you've gotten slow in your old age." Ahsoka teased, trying to brighten the mood a little. While not really cheered up, Anakin gave her a smile, silently thanking her for her effort.
Lightning fingers, (Palpatine attacking Luke)
Indecision, (Vader uncertain of what to do)
Vader toss, and all's forgiven! (Vader tossing Palpatine into core of Death Star, injured in the process)
"What? But, no one can come back from the Dark Side!" Windu cried, not believing it.
"Well, as we all know, Anakin doesn't like to play by the rules." Obi-Wan said, even though he to was in disbelief.
Bonding quick before it blows, (Luke embracing Vader, the Falcon flying away from the Second Death Star)
Remove the helmet,
Ugh its gross. (umasked Vader)
"What the kriffing hell? What happens to me?"
Endor dancing, (party on Endor)
Happy ghosts, (Force-ghosts of Yoda, Obi-Wan, and ROTS Anakin smiling)
And that is how the story goes! (more of Endor party, singer goes in middle of screen)
"Well that confirms it, I turn to the Dark Side, but apparently I turn back. We have to find out who this emperor is, it seems that he holds the key to how the empire rises." Everyone agreed with Anakin, who vowed to himself to not let this future happen.
(screen switches to Star Wars logo, everyone in audience gets up and dances)
Star Wars, Star Wars.
That was everything that happened in
Star Wars, Star Wars.
There were only three instalments of
Star Wars, Star Wars. (guy in audience starts counting on fingers, then raises hand to interrupt singer)
Don't look any further into it (singer makes eye contact with guy in audience, who shrugs and starts dancing)
"What? That confuses me. I thought that the holo said that everything from Anakin's childhood to our future was covered." No one had an answer for Padme.
Star Wars, Star Wars.
Star Wars. (singer holds up guitar)
The holo turned black. Immediately, Anakin got up and went into his and Padme's bedroom. Obi-Wan went up to follow him, but Padme stoped him.
"Let me, Obi-Wan. Trust me, I know what he's thinking about right now." Although he didn't like it, Obi-Wan relented and allowed Padme to follow her husband into their room. When she got there, she found Anakin sitting on their bed, his head in his hands. He had sensed her coming, but didn't look up when he spoke.
"I should just go away, exile myself. It'l be safer for everyone. I should've known. After what I did to the Sand People after my mother died, I should've just left the Jedi. I'm not cut out for this, Padme. I never was. I care about people too much." Even though it was muffled, Padme could hear the anguish in his voice. She sat down next to him, and started rubbing his back.
"Ani, there's a reason that we received these holos for a reason. I believe that this reason is so that we can change the future. And you have the power to do that, Ani. You can change all of this. We may not know how you turn yet, but I have a feeling that we will. And when we do, you can change it." And with that, she led Anakin back to the main room where everyone else was. Anakin looks at everyone, shame on his face.
"I have no idea what would cause me to turn to the Dark Side, but I swear to all of you now. I will do my best to keep this future from happening. I doubt that this will be easy, but we at least know that if we fail, my son will bring back balance."
"I personally think that we should focus on figuring out who the Sith Lord is," Obi-Wan said. "Dooku told me that the Sith Lord controls the Senate, so they must be a senator."
"Skywalker, The Council has decided at this time to allow you to remain in the Order. For now. I believe that we will learn about our future from these holos. We should use that to our advantage." Mace Windu said.
And with that, they all sat down again as Padme turned the holo back on.
(1) Yes I know that Ahsoka survived Order 66, but let's say she doesn't, since she isn't in any of the movies.
Well that's it! I'm sorry if it's a little abrupt at the end, I wasn't sure how to conclude it. Please let me know what you guys think!
