A/N: Ever since I watched the Fathers and Sons episode, I felt like something was missing from it. It is one of my favorite episodes of the season. I wanted to see more of Danny dealing/not dealing with the news about Sean. I had another idea for it as well but I just cannot seem to write it to my expectations. Here is my take on this. Yes I love to make Danny suffer. *insert evil laugh here* Please R&R.
Disclaimer: Don't own the show, if I did we would see more shirtless Danny and Jamie.
He wouldn't admit it anyone but this past week had shaken him to his core. Seeing his youngest son lying unmoving in a hospital bed scared him more than he thought it would. It wasn't that his week was going great until that moment but it had just went from bad to incredible worse. Danny didn't think he would have to face one of his worst nightmares.
As he stepped out on to his father's porch, he had to steady himself. He was trying to not let his emotions get the best of him. He hadn't let any tears escape the entire time Sean was in the hospital. However now that he is on familiar territory he can't seem to stop the tears from coming. As he reaches out to steady himself he sinks down on the top step and lets the sobs take over. At this moment in time he doesn't care if anyone sees him crying like this he doesn't care what his family is going to think. He needs to get this out.
"Danny?" Jamie softly asks. He noticed his brother walk out the door as soon as he walked in the house. It wasn't unexpected to see Danny disappear after something traumatic. He remembered Danny doing the same thing after their mom and Joe had died. Even though Sean hadn't died, he had been in a coma for almost two days. It had scared even Jamie, to see his normally precocious nephew in a hospital bed unconscious was not right. He didn't even want to think about what his brother was going through, for Sean was his son, his baby boy. He watched his brother wipe away the tears, as if to hide an evidence of his break down.
"Hey kid, what are you doing out here?" Danny tries his best to cover the break in his voice. Even though he knew he didn't have to hide the tears from his brother it was second nature.
"I came out to see how you were doing. This week has been trying for the entire family; I don't even want to think what it was like for you and Linda. You don't have to hide your emotions around me or anyone else Danny, "Jamie tried his best to comfort his oldest brother.
As he drew in a deep breath, the tears started all over again. Danny knew there was no use in swiping them away again. He let them fall freely.
"Dammit," Danny cursed, "Jamie, when I got that call, it felt like I had been kicked in the chest. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't talk, hell I couldn't even think. I didn't know what to expect when I got to the hospital. I am so glad that Erin was with Nicky and the boys on that bike ride. If she hadn't Sean may have…" he couldn't finish because the sobs took over.
Jamie had no words of comfort for his brother that hadn't already been said. He hated seeing his brother in so much pain. He knew that all of this emotion was out of worry for his son.
"As much as it hurt to see Sean in that bed, I knew that the hospital was doing all they could for him. I wanted so bad to just hold and let him know that Daddy was there. That we needed him to be awake and walking again, I hated seeing him like that. It didn't get any better when I had to leave to work on the case either. All I could think about while I was working was Linda, Jack and Sean and how I should have there and not working. I couldn't get my mind to stop thinking about the what-ifs," Danny explained.
"Danny, those what-ifs never happened. And I am beyond thankful that they never happened," Jamie tried his best to continue to comfort Danny.
"I am so grateful that they never did as well. I honestly don't know if Linda and I would be able survive if we lost Sean. I would try to hold it together for Jack but I wouldn't be the father that he would need. When Dad lost Joe, you saw exactly what he was like I would have been ten times worse than that. Joe had lived his life. Yes, he was still so young and had so much to live for, but Sean he hasn't even had the chance to see anything yet," Danny stopped. "I am so glad Dad was there that last night; I would have fallen apart had he not been there. Ever noticed that he always seems to know exactly how to calm us down?"
"Yeah, he does. It may be a hug or just a subtle touch to let us know he's there. It always has been and always will be a comfort for me. I don't know about you, but I let my guard down more around him than anyone else. He has seen us at our worst and our best," Jamie explained. His family always knew how to comfort each other.
"He did just that for me when he squeezed my shoulder that night. If it weren't for him I wouldn't have been able to make it through the night, seeing Sean so helpless, it killed me. I am so glad I was…I was there when he woke up. It was one of the best days in my life, hearing him say 'I can hear you Daddy…'" Danny wept. He hated that he broke down like this in front of his brother. "I am just so…those boys are my life…"
Jamie couldn't take it anymore. He scooted closer to his brother's side and carefully wrapped a solid arm around Danny's shoulder letting him know that he is there. "Danny…" Jaime began but found he couldn't finish as his noticed his brother was barely hanging on by a thread and took him into a solid hug. All he could do was hold his brother and let him cry and rid himself of all of those what-ifs and all the fears. Jamie lost track of time, he wasn't sure just how long they sat on the top step comforting Danny, but was brought back to reality when Danny's sobbing calmed.
"Hey kid," Danny softly murmured.
"Yeah?" Jamie asked
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being here. For everything."
