September 1, 1942

Hello Journal,

Okay so I'm sitting in the school infirmary with God knows what kind of drug in my veins with a weird feeling in my head (and no, it's not the drug although it does make me feel loopy). Let me explain first, it was the night of August 29th and as usual, we had our nightly Super Suicide Society of the Summer Session meeting, and Leper was going to (more like try to without chickening out) jump off the tree branch as part of his initiation. As part of the rules, I had to first initiate myself by jumping off the tree root and into the river. That's when I had this idea to jump off, side by side with Gene. Gene agreed to do it so there I was on the limb and Gene was about to climb on. The next thing I knew there was a jounce and my balance was gone. I looked at Gene and there this feeling arose in me, telling me that Gene purposely jounced the limb. Then I fell. Then the pain came in my broken leg. It hurt like hell!

But I don't want to spend writing every single detail of my fall, just this feeling I had. Something inside me said that Gene is responsible for my broken leg, but it can't be true. I mean come on! The guy's like my best friend, no, more like the brother I never had. I even admitted this to him on the beach a month ago. He couldn't have jounced that limb. He wouldn't. We're best friends, brothers. Gene feels the same way, too. He does. Doesn't he? He never said that I was his best bud after I told him that he was my best bud, but perhaps that's because Gene isn't so sentimental as I am or as deep. He probably feels the same way and just doesn't feel as comfortable confessing it. I mean that's confessing something deep at Devon is next to suicide. That and it's looked down upon in men. I don't get why. I had no trouble saying something sentimental deep at all. Maybe, I should tell Gene this feeling I had just to clear things up. Maybe, he did jounce the limb but it was an accident not a purposeful crime. Got to go now. I have to ask Dr. Stanpole to let me see Gene.

Your friend,

Finny