Can You Feel My Heart
Summary: AU. Constantly being in the shadow of everyone causes Goten to face a deep depression. Once he is able to confess that he has a problem, he will be able to change his life back around. (Goten's POV) Rated T for language
Slight AU because Dragon Ball GT never existed, I thought the show was okay, but I like the idea of Goten and Valese (Paris) being a couple.
Can You Feel My Heart: Chapter 1-Pour Me
Pour me, pour me, pour me another, it holds me, holds me, like no other
My head pounded as I took another sip of the can of beer I was holding, hoping to relief some more stress of me. Yeah, I, Goten Son, wouldn't have the ideal life style. I know for fact my family and friends are worried about me, but I wouldn't blame them. I'm worried about myself too.
I sighed as I crushed the can of beer and threw it on the bar floor. "What's wrong with me?" I constantly asked myself. To me, it seems like the weight of the world is getting harder and harder to hold up and I don't like it one bit.
Sometimes I miss those days when Marron and Trunks would invite Paris and I over to their house. We would have the best times laughing at our high school memories while watching an old episode of Full House. Since, their daughter, Michaela Briefs had been born about a couple months ago they have been beyond busy.
Paris. I know for a fact she misses when they do that. All she says now "Sometimes I don't even know when you are in the house. Goten, you are scaring me, you need to get some help right now. I mean it this time!" Those words haunt me; I shivered everytime I left the house.
A tall, around my age man with brown hair walked near me. It was the bartender, he had been serving me for the last hour and I'm shocked he hasn't kicked me out yet since I was sort of hostile towards him.
"Excuse me, sir; by any chance do you want another beer?" He asked me as he was cleaning another glass. I grabbed onto the edge of the counter and forced myself to raise my head to able to face him. How was he still able to serve me? I came off as one of the rudest customers and he still managed to benefit me. He deserves the biggest tip of his life.
"I think I'm satisfied now, I would like to make it home sober." I chuckled as the bartender placed the glass down on the counter. I sighed heavily. "Actually that was a lie, can you give me another shot of whiskey? I think this one will be my last one for good."
The bartender smirked as he grabbed a small glass and squirted the whiskey for me. "I know I'm getting into your business, but you seem kind of down. I have seen you in here by yourself more than you are with your friends." He mentioned as he handed me my shot.
He was right and it's horrible on my part that he is able to recognize me. "No, no you're fine, I just need some therapy." I said as I swallowed the last bit of alcohol. It soothes my body, but I know if I had one more ounce of alcohol I would be in the bathroom. "My fiancée is getting worried sick about me. I fear she is going to leave me." I sighed, "I told myself to get help, but I just can't do it."
"Why can't you get help?" He asked as he took my glass to clean it. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. I couldn't even answer that question for myself. Sometimes I wish I could answer my own questions.
A blonde girl walked over and sat down to the stool adjacent to mine. "Can I get two shots of vodka?" She asked in a whisper, but with my saiyan hearing, I could barely hear her. I guess the bartender heard her loud in clear as he started to grab two glasses for her.
"Vodka actually sounds nice right about now." I whispered to myself as the bartender placed the first shot of vodka on the counter. I took one glance at the blonde girl, I couldn't believe my eyes. She reminded me much of the girl Gohan used to go to high school with, but I swore he mentioned she had moved to North City. Why is she in West City? "Excuse me; don't I know you from somewhere?" I asked looking over to her.
She swallowed hard and looked over at me without a single care in the world. Her eyes widen when she looked at me I guess she recognize me too. "Goten Son? Is that you?" She asked. I nodded my head and she started to squeal. "I'm shocked you remember me, I barely went over to your house to hang out with Gohan when we were teenagers."
"I know about the times you guys snuck Gohan out. You guys aren't that stealthy to be honest." I manage to make a weak smile on my face causing her to slap my shoulder lightly and chuckle. "The next time I see Gohan, I should tell him that you are in town. I know he will be astounded to see you."
"Yeah, meeting up with him and Videl would be nice, but right now you don't seem like the Goten I remember." She mumbled as she watched me pull out a lighter and a cigarette. I looked up at her as I took the cigarette out of my mouth as I exhaled the grey smoke from my body.
"I haven't been myself for years, Erasa." I added as put the lighter away. "I have been a mess for the last three years and I don't even know how to fix myself. I can't let Paris try to fix me. I just come running here to calm myself, but I can't keep coming here." I placed the cigarette back into my mouth.
"Well, do you want to talk about it?" She asked concern. "I mean you're the son of Goku Son and the brother of Gohan. Your family means more to me than you think, I want to know what the problem is." I took the cigarette out of my mouth and chuckled at her. "I don't know how or why you found that so funny?" She asked.
"You won't understand nobody understands me. If someone was able to understand me they would have helped me." I hissed at her as a placed my cigarette back in my mouth. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so harsh I just want a change from the life I have at the moment."
"Maybe she will be able to help you." The bartender interjected. "You always told yourself you wanted to get help, and this could be your chance to get this help. Goten, right? I can keep the bar open for another hour, so we can help you."
I moaned as I took the cigarette out of my mouth. I looked at the bartender and I knew he was serious I could see it in his eyes. He was determined to know why I came here by myself all the time. Maybe just maybe, he could be able to help me. "I guess I will be able to tell you what has been bothering me, but I know you guys are going to think I'm this crazy guy."
"Goten, we aren't going to think that unless you tell us what's wrong." Erasa responded as she drank the second shot vodka she order. They wanted to help; a woman I barely know and the bartender are the people who are trying to help when I won't let my own family know. Strangers, I tell you, sometimes they are able to benefit you.
"If I can't even tell my fiancée, how am I going to tell you guys?" I asked. "That has got me thinking, I need to let Paris know that I'm going to stay and talk with a couple of friends tonight and I will be home late." I took out my phone out of my coat pocket and placed it on the counter right next to my old cigarette.
The bartender nodded his head as he took my cigarette to dispose of it. "All right, take the time that you need." I gave him a slight head nod, I walked over to the quietest spot in the bar dialing our home number waiting and praying Paris would pick up the phone. I looked at my watch and I read: 9:30, I guess she should still be awake.
"…Hello?"
"Paris!" I cheered as I heard her voice on the end of the receiver. "I'm so glad that you answered!" She smiled on the other end of the phone and then I heard a long sigh. "What's wrong?"
"Where are you?" She asked concerned. Her voice was hard as ice which worried me, it sounded like she was crying.
I sighed. I did want tell her I was out, but I didn't want to mention I was in a bar for the last hour. "Paris, I'm not going to lie to you, I'm actually catching up with one of my old friends, so I should be home in about an hour."
"It's great to know you aren't at the bar." She chuckled at her statement. "Who's your friend that you are talking too?"
"It's a friend of Gohan, Erasa. They went to high school together; I guess I was kind of close to her." I added with a slick smirk on my face.
"Sounds familiar, I'm not going to keep you too much longer, I appreciate that you called so, I'll see you in an hour. Love you bunches, onyx eyes." It was the nickname she had given me since our freshman year of high school. At first I thought it was weird, but after being called onyx eyes for many years, I think it's kind of cute.
"Love you too, Paris." I hung up my phone and gently placed the phone back into my coat pocket. I sighed this was going to be the hardest night of my life explaining my problem to an old friend and a complete stranger. I sighed again as I began to walk slowly back over to the bar stool I was sitting on.
The bartender had taken out a few glasses with water in case one of us got thirsty. His pale icy blue crystals stared at me; he knew I was going to be in some rough shape telling a story of my past. I never payed attention to him, but his eyes reminded me of Trunks my best friend since childhood.
"Are you ready?" He asked as he grabbed one of the three glasses of water he had supplied. I sighed and shook my head no. "It might not be so easy, but once you find the right words everything will be much easier." He added with a slight smirk on his face.
I rolled my onyx eyes at him and took one glance at Erasa who had the widest smile on her face. I couldn't help myself, but chuckle a little bit. If Paris was able to smile like that every day maybe just maybe everything could be different for me, but right now it's my choice to change my life.
"Can I ask you two a question?" I asked breaking the ice. Erasa nodded her head and cautiously grabbed her glass of water and took a sip. I looked over at the bartender and he seemed to be intrigued something that I like about him.
"Yeah, you can ask us anything." He added. I grew a large smirk on my face hoping the two of them were prepared to answer the question I was about to ask them. Most of the time people would laugh in my face and tell me to get over it. I'm praying they were different, I just hope they are.
I sighed looking at the two of them one more time before asking the question. "Can you feel my heart?" I felt my heart sank when I noticed the two of them lost all of the color from their face. This was one question they were not expecting and I knew from this moment that this was going to be a long night.
A/N: Ah, this story is going to be interesting write. This story was the winner of my poll, thank you to everyone who voted and wanted to see this story be written first. After listening to some Bring Me the Horizon I came up with this story. In the honor of listening to their song "can you feel my heart" I had to use the title. Also, I got inspired to write this story mainly through music, so each chapter is going to be based off a song. Besides that, please review and give me feedback/criticism I would highly appreciate it!
Song: Pour Me by Hollywood Undead
