A fic to add more fics to the Deltora Quest archive. I doubt anyone will read this though.
Why?
Why?...
In that unspoken instance, the instance between the revelation of what he really was and the next moment in which the revelation would sink into the other's mind. In that single instance, a glance at the other's face told him that the other was confused and wanted the answer to a certain question. That oh so simple question. Just a simple question…Why?
Hilarious, isn't it? I mean, what reason was there still needed. He was an Ol. And not just any Ol, a level three Ol. The perfect, rarest, and least detectable of all the Ols. As an Ol of the third classification, that meant that he could transform into anything he wanted and hold that form for however long he wanted. He could transform into the anything from your friend whom you trust to even that flower lying on the side of the road. He could transform into the bird you see flying above you to even that dagger you had carried, attached to your belt. Masters of disguises. That was what he was, nothing more, nothing less. A servant of the Almighty Shadow Lord. One of his greatest plans.
And 'How' you might now ask. How? How was he one the Master's greatest plans? That too, has a pathetically simple answer. Because for the past several months, some ignorant humans had been undoing another of the Master's plans. These inferior beings had been trying to do what they believed was the 'right' thing and take back the gems of the so called fabled Deltora's Belt. Pathetic really. He had seen the so called 'Saviors of Deltora' in action and had not been impressed. After all, in that tournament, of the three of them, only one made it past the first match of the finales. And that person didn't even truly win. The female brat only won because two of the other contestants were knocked out thanks to the little sleeping pill I slipped into the drinks. And the remaining being let her win as well. They really were just a bunch of weaklings. It was a wonder they were able to undo so much of the Master's work, more than anyone's ever done.
So they had been gallivanting around ruining some of his master's schemes but stopping them wasn't his original purpose. No, his original purpose was to spy on some troublesome group that had been trying to oppose his master's rule. Although they did not know what exactly they were doing, they still were enough of a pest to warrant them orders of extermination from the master himself. But his Master was ingenious. He decided to torture them slowly by having someone inside feed information outside. He would send someone to be a double agent. After all, it hurts more when it is someone you trust that hurt you. Then, they would drive themselves mad trying to find out who was the traitor. They might even kill a few of their own! Wouldn't that be grand? The Master's agent would reveal all of those rebels' secrets and so, those rebels will be destroyed from within. That means that many will be intact since it didn't require a battle to bring them in. Ripe for torture.
So I had been masquerading around them as the person called 'Dain' and effectively spied on them from the inside. The fools never suspected a thing. And yet now, now that whelp, that whelp actually was wondering why I was doing this. That child actually was naïve enough to ask why I was turning him and his bothersome allies in. It seemed that he actually was hoping that I was just joking about being a loyal servant to the Almighty Shadow Lord. What a fool.
So do you want to know the reason I'm doing this? The reason I'm betraying my so called allies to the one they had been attempting to oppose for all these years. The reason is because I am an Ol. I am one of the Shadow Lord's creations. Our soul purpose is to serve the master faithfully, loyally, and to the death. That is our purpose for being. We know no other joy but to serve the master. And that is what I'm going to do. Because I am an Ol. A master of disguise and the ultimate spy weapon. I am a tool of destruction, a weapon.
And yet….
When he met that man called Doom, I had felt something I had never felt before. With the Shadow Lord, I felt nothing despite my fierce loyalty. With Doom, I felt the urge to prove myself. I felt as if I should do everything in my power to make that man proud of me. Naturally, I was confused as to why I felt that to a man I had just met, to a target. So I decided to research what I felt. It took me weeks of research to find out exactly what I was feeling. Humans had too many emotions. Such useless, stupid emotions. So after much research I figured out this feeling that I had. The feeling was the feeling individuals had to their parent. So that meant that I felt as if Doom was a father to me. Naturally, I was disgusted when I found out what I was feeling but then I realized something. I could use it to my advantage. After observing Doom for a few weeks, I noticed that Doom had similar feelings to I. Apparently, Doom saw me as a surrogate child. So I used these foolish emotions of parent-child relationships to lure Doom into a false sense of security around me.
I felt a similar emotion around the rest of the 'Resistance' and I'm sure they felt the same way. As I grew more used to them, I began to have these sensations of belonging. Once again I researched these feelings. These sentiments were that of how a child might feel when with their family. 'Safe, secure.' Yeah, right. But like the parent-child feelings Doom had for me, I was able to use these feelings of family to my advantage.
And the same with that human man called Barda and that human girl called Jasmine. I felt as if they were family as well. Barda was like an uncle and Jasmine the sister. I had grown used to feeling these family emotions so having these feelings for two more people did not really matter. All they were are just another advantage I have over them.
But with Lief. He was different. In a way, I did have these 'family' emotions for him. And yet, at the same time, it was different. It felt as if he was someone I could trust but not because it was like we were family. It felt like I could trust him to watch my back if I were in danger and that he would trust me to do the same. It felt like he was someone I could talk to and not worry about what I said spreading to others because he was someone I could confide in. Naturally, these new emotions puzzled me so I investigated what these emotions were. Apparently, this emotion is called 'friendship.'
Even so, feelings of a family unit or feelings of a friend, it didn't matter to me. They were all foolish emotions belonging to those who don't serve the master. They were all weak, pitiable feelings which allow others to take advantage of you.
And even so…
Doom, the father I now will never had.
The Resistance, Barda, and Jasmine, the family that will never accept me again.
And Lief, the friend I could have had.
And even has I am dying; I can't stop feeling these useless emotions.
Regret for betraying the people I felt were family.
Shame for them seeing my betrayal.
Sadness that my life really had no purpose.
Joy that I no longer have to pretend to be something I will never be allowed to be.
Anger that the person I had trusted killed me.
Confusion because I didn't know who was right in the end.
Contentment because if the betrayed got what they deserved.
As I died, all these emotions and more flashed through my head. But the emotion that lingered the most, the last emotion that I felt was the hopelessness that the people I once felt were my 'family' will now see me as a traitor and that there was nothing I could do about it because I was dead.
Hehe…Emotions truly are useless. Happiness, anger, fear, sadness…. Just stupid emotions, really. Just stupid, useless emotions.
If you haven't figured it out yet, this is all from Dain's point of view.
