Shannon flopped down on the grass, her eyes full of tears. She couldn't understand why it had to be like this... Why it had to be so difficult. When she was with him alone before... She shook her head, trying to rid herself of that memory.

When you were here before

Today was the day she said she was going to confess her love to one of her best guy friends... but she couldn't find her courage. She had been trying to avoid him all night, and for the most part, it was working.

Couldn't look you in the eyes

"God... he'll never say yes... just look at yourself," she whispered to herself, wiping away some stray tears that had just managed to leak out of her eyes. "You're no angel."

You're just like an angel

your skin makes me cry

She rolled onto her back so she was facing the sky. Imagining she was a bird, she tried to escape the chaos inside her mind. Shannon had faced worse than this, but she knew this would hurt just as much if he said no... Shaking her head fiercely, she went back to thinking of a beautiful word where she was a free bird.

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

"Who are you trying to kid... You're not special. You're the farthest thing from special," she muttered to herself, squeezing her eyes harder together. "He's so fucking special..."

I wish I was special

You're so fucking special

Shannon clenched her fists into tight balls in the grass. She could feel the grass uprooting from the ground. "What am I even doing here?" she questioned herself, letting more tears squeeze past her closed eyelids. "I don't even belong here with my friends." In her mind, she mentally had no self esteem. Ever since she moved to this state, she has thought terribly of herself. She thinks she's a Creep...

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here

After what seemed like an hour had gone by, she opened her eyes and rolled back onto her side. Bringing her left wrist up to her face, she felt her stomach sink into her toes. The scars had grown more prominent in the sun. She promised she wouldn't cut herself again, but at the rate things were going now... she might have to go back on her word. She didn't care if it hurt... Shannon just wanted to be someone people could actually love...

I don't care if it hurts

I wanna have control

She knew she had many flaws, and she wanted to be perfect so he could love her. She laughed without humor. "You'll never have a perfect body," she mumbled to herself, closing her eyes again. "Nor will you ever have a perfect soul. You've been broken too many times, and you'll never be fixed."

I wanna perfect body

I wanna perfect soul

She lifted her head a fraction of an inch to barely catch a glimpse of him playing football closer to the house. "He doesn't even notice me," she whispered sadly as more tears streamed down her cheeks. "I'm nothing to you."

I want you to notice

when I'm not around

You're so fucking special

I wish I was special

The football came flying at her at top speed. She rolled over onto her back, the football just missing her face. "Nice one, Chris!" Mike yelled, smacking him upside the head. "Go get it!" Chris slowly walked over to where she was, making no effort to hurry. Shannon got up so she was in a sitting position, the discarded football in hand. "Oh, Shannon, didn't see you out here... Why are you alone?" he asked her, sitting down.

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here

Shannon smiled a sheepish smile. "If I tell you, I'd have to kill you," she replied in a hushed voice. "But then again, why would you care if I'm all alone?" Chris smiled, a smile that made Shannon's heart want to jump out of her chest. "Because I want you to have fun, not be all alone and sad," he said, inching closer to her. After he moved, their knees were just barely touching. Shannon couldn't take this. She knew deep down that he was just messing with her... Leading her on so he could break her fragile heart. "You don't care," she said as tears burned in her eyes. She got up as fast as she could and ran...

She's running out the door

She's running

She run

Run

Run

Run

Run

"Shannon!" Chris called after her, watching her disappear. It broke his heart... he needed to tell her how he felt about her. He picked up the football she had thrown while she ran and sprinted after her. "Shannon! Where are you?" he yelled, running around the house. He finally found her sitting underneath the deck. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were flushed. "Shannon... I want more than anything to make you happy," he said softly to her.

Whatever makes you happy

Whatever you want

"Chris, you're too good for me, I can never deserve someone like you... I'm not special," she whispered, burying her face into her knees.

You're so fucking special

I wish I was special

"Don't say that, Shannon! You may think you don't belong, you may think you're a weirdo... But to me... you're all I've ever wanted since the beginning of the year," he said, sitting down next to her again. He gently took Shannon's hand and held it up to his heart. "I love you, I've always loved you."

A week and one day after, tension began to form between them. Sure he answered her calls, but they were mostly one sided. It made Shannon begin to worry all over again. She went back to her old self, beginning to think again that she was worthless and didn't belong...

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here

I don't belong here...