(Loosely based off of the song "Trade Mistakes" by Panic! at the Disco~)
"Gale! Gale, Gale! Katniss is about to be on the television! The opening ceremonies are starting!"
My mother's voice is too excited. Too happy. Katniss is about to go into an arena for a fight to the death. Why should I look forward to watching her get all dressed up to go into that? They've probably just matted her hair with coal and given her a baggy mining outfit… Not that she wouldn't look beautiful in whatever they put her in…
I look up from over my crossed arms. I'm sprawled out on my bed. The television is just beyond my view, tucked behind the slightly closed bedroom door. I drop my head back down, burying my face in my arms. "I'd rather not, Mom."
"Gale, please… Just come."
I should have taken Peeta's place. I should be there protecting her…
"Gale!"
I should be out there. My mother should calling for my siblings…
"Gale! Eight's already coming out! Hurry!"
No… Katniss…
"Gale Hawthorne!"
"What?" I cried, voice cracking, "What do you want from me?"
Her voice falls, "Gale, please, just come…"
I reach up, half-heartedly pushing the door open so that the rickety television comes into view. They are just announcing Eleven's appearance. After a sickeningly long moment…
"And, District Twelve—!"
Oh god, I should look down. Look down, look down, don't watch, don't watch, Gale. Oh god, oh god…
And then I gasp. I can't look down. Is that really what I'm seeing…?
"Oh… Gale… Do come…"
But she doesn't have to tell me. I'm already scrambling up from my bed, pushing my bangs back against my head. I fall down to my knees in front of the old, cedar table the TV was on. She is on fire. And Katniss is gorgeous. I put my hands on the table, my face falling. I rest my forehead on my wrists. My eyes flit shut. I shake my head.
"Katniss," I whisper. "Oh, Katniss…"
When I look up, I am taken by the sight all over again. I never thought I could see her as beautiful outside of when she was hunting. The way she leapt from tree branch to forest floor. The way her fingers curved around the knock of an arrow. The way she grinned when she hit her target. All of that was so beautiful but in a so much different way. Now she is the kind of girl anyone would think gorgeous.
And the crowd surely does. They love her. They scream her name. Scream for her kisses. Cry out to her.
…And Peeta.
He is holding her hand.
I have to resist every urge to not reach up and touch the screen. Peeta's hand has no right to be there. I'm supposed to be the one with her through this.
A sob unexpectedly catches in my throat. I choke it down, squeezing my eyes shut. Slowly, I push myself to my feet. My eyes remain closed.
"Mother."
"Yes, Gale?"
"I'm going to bed now," I whisper.
She doesn't reply until I'm almost to the bedroom.
"She'll be back, Gale. And then you can talk to her. Tell her things you should have told her a long time ago." I can hear the smile on her lips.
She knows how much I love Katniss. I've never told her, but she knows. It almost makes me embarrassed as I don't answer her, just continue to my bed. I drop to my stomach, not bothering to pull up the blanket. I just curl up, hiding my face in my pillow.
I know that I can't expect sleep tonight. She's still on my mind. She'll never leave. And for every night she's still alive and breathing and burning on in that arena, I'll be working up the nerve to tell her everything I've ever thought about her. Her fire has lit a spark in my mind that can't be put out by water or life or death or even that Peeta.
I love her too much for my own good.
