I hate flying
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
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Truly, this world is an extremely beautiful place. See how the sky is being colored pink by the morning sun, watch how those fluffy clouds, that look so similar to cotton candy that one would want to fly up there in order to devour them, slowly drift by.
Hear the chirping of the birds, their newly awakened forms wishing only for the rest of the world to notice them, to see them and revel in their beauty. All of them trying their hardest to sing even more beautiful than the next, causing a wonderful music beyond comparison in this world.
Smell the smells of freshly bloomed flowers, their fragrance intoxicating all of those whom pass. The smell of dew on grass and leaves, lingering in the air as if it wishes to remind us of the beauty of the morning mists.
Feel the soft breeze that causes the trees to sway gently, creating a rustling sound as the trees are allowed to sing their own music, different from the birds inhabiting them, but equal in beauty.
Truly, nothing can rival this world in it's beauty, nothing can possibly compare to the feelings that touches all whom experiences it.
It's too bad that I'm unable to experience it, as it's hard to pay attention to the wonders of nature when you're speeding through the air, much too close to the ground if I do say so myself. I mean, sure it would be unpleasant to be at the height of, for example, 30,000 feet, but at least when you're up that high, you won't realize exactly what speed you're traveling at, since there is nothing you can compare it to.
You see, when you're traveling close to the ground you can't help but pay attention to exactly how blurry everything is. And once you realize why it is blurry, you can't help but feel very unsettled about the whole ordeal. Not to mention that feeling of absolute terror whenever you pass by something that is a lot closer than it should be.
So why am I flying close to the ground at breakneck speed? Well it's a long story, but I might need to point out that I wouldn't actually call this breakneck, it's seems to be more a kind of, turn-into-a-puddle-of-goo kind of speed.
Of course it's got something to do with Haruhi, although that's probably about as obvious as if I'd said that the situation that I'm in at the moment is somehow related to me. Anyway, our fearless Brigade leader had for some reason, that I don't understand, decided that, since nothing interesting was being uncovered by our heroic endeavors, we should create a mystery of our own.
Yeah, that doesn't make sense to me either. But, since it was Haruhi that suggested it, the rest of the Brigade raised no kind of protest, me not included since I always protest, but as usual, I was being completely ignored.
I'm not sure what I found to be more annoying, the fact that everyone ignored me as a rule, or the fact that we were being told to create a mystery. How the hell do you to do that? I mean, Koizumi's murder mysteries are one thing, but now she wanted us to make something interesting happen, like a meteor strike or an alien invasion of some sort. Who could seriously pull off something like that? Nagato, as well as Haruhi's subconscious, not included.
Now, judging by my current situation, I guess you think that we somehow managed to, if not create one then at least to find a mystery similar to the ones specified earlier, however, that isn't entirely correct, albeit admittedly close. It's a long story but I guess I might as well tell you about it.
You see the day after her announcement was quite the… how to put it… trigger. Yeah that sounds about right.
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To me it's never a pleasant experience to wake up in the morning. This might be related to the fact that the one who wakes me up is my hyperactive little sister, the worst part is probably that she does this with as much violence as possible, jumping on top of me and then dragging me out of bed, leaving me beaten and bruised on the cold floor of my room.
This morning proved to be very much the same in these aspects. Admittedly though, I don't think she would've been able to wake me up in any other way, considering how tired I still was even after I'd managed to move away from the cold floor.
I wasn't technically late, but I wasn't really early coming to school either. I guess you could say that I showed up at a normal time.
"Have you started yet?"
I turned towards the girl behind me. A little confused about what she might be talking about.
Started with what?
"The mystery! Have you started making a mystery yet?"
Who would've gotten started already!? Normal people don't really have mysteries just laying about, ready to be used at a moments notice!
"Excuses! You had an entire day to think of a mystery! What were you doing wasting all that time!?"
I was doing my homework, you know, so that the teachers don't fail me.
She didn't seem to accept this, but she was interrupted before she could continue by the teacher entering the room.
Saved by the bell, huh. Too bad that I can't enjoy this rare stroke of luck, since because of it, I'm forced to pay attention to an extremely boring lecture.
When lunch finally arrived Haruhi disappeared like usual, leaving me to eat peacefully, away from the eccentric girl who could shape the fabric of reality according to her will. It was something that I greatly appreciated, there's a limit to how much a person can take of her weirdness before they risk going insane themselves.
As I eat I can't help but think about what Haruhi told us in the clubroom yesterday. Why did she have this sudden change of heart? What could be so interesting in creating your very own mystery? I mean, no matter how much I complain about it, I kind of understand why she would search for the mysteries of the world, hell to some extent I even admire her for it. But this is just… strange? In a different way than usual, and that was making me nervous. Very nervous.
Oh well, it's not like I'll understand this sudden change even if I spent years to think about it, might as well ignore it and hope that it'll resolve itself. Of course, until then, I was going to be forced to create some sort of mystery, that or I'd probably be in trouble. Then again, I'm going to get into trouble no matter what I choose to do, so I guess I should just do whatever I feel like doing. You know, that's a great plan, I better stick to it.
Haruhi returned to the classroom just as the bell rang and the lessons commenced once more, leaving me to fight against the many demons of sleep that seemed to be plaguing me today.
I lost.
Waking up as the bell rang once more, I began to grab my things and got ready to head towards the clubroom, Haruhi was long gone, probably shooting of like a bullet the moment the bell rang.
I can't help but be a bit worried about how used I've gotten to heading towards the clubroom once classes ends. I kind of get the feeling that even if I were to die, my ghost might be forced to walk like this until the end of time. It's a very disturbing thought.
Of course, I can't really blame my legs for bringing me to the beautiful Asahina and her wonderful tea. Besides it's not like we always do weird things, sometimes our days are surprisingly peaceful, however, Haruhi does make sure that they don't stay that way for long.
This day proved to be one of those wonderfully peaceful days, although we – with this I mean me – were forced to listen to Haruhi reprimanding us for not creating any new mysteries yet. You'd think she'd be a little more patient, but then again, if she was, I think I would've called the school nurse or something. No healthy Haruhi would ever be patient. Ever.
I did however talk to Koizumi about Haruhi's new idea. His answer was something along the lines of: 'It's fine as long as she's having fun'. I really don't like him, at all.
So, as Nagato closed her book, signaling to all that the meeting had ended, the Brigade split up, and I was finally allowed to return to my home, where I would probably be forced to do my homework. I'm really not allowed to rest am I? I guess I've gotten used to it, but it's still a little depressing.
Hoping to relieve some of said depression, when I came across what looked like an empty can of some sort, I decided to kick it. It was a nice kick. Of course it wasn't anything comparable to a kick powered by Haruhi's ridiculous athletic ability, but it wasn't too bad if I do say so myself. It also had a very positive effect on my mood.
In fact it was such a wonderful feeling that I decided to kick it again. This continued until I finally arrived at my house. Now I was faced with a difficult choice: Do I just leave this wonderfully kickable can here, free to be used by any and all who passes, probably to never be seen or heard from again? Or do I pick it up, so that I might use it again at a later time?
I would never consider myself to be a selfish person, but that doesn't mean that I'll give up something I enjoy just because someone else might enjoy it as well. Needless to say, the can soon made it's way onto my desk. Receiving a sort of place of honor, for providing me with such wonderful release from my earlier frustrations.
However, it was kind of dirty to have in my room, so I decided to clean it.
As I was doing my best to clean it from the many different types of dust that you might find on the streets, there was a loud 'boom' sound. Immediately translating into the can being sent flying into the opposite wall as smoke gushed out of it. It was quite the spectacle, I think I might've been able to sell tickets.
Suddenly a figure emerged from the smoke. "I am the great genie, sealed inside this empty can of peas because I farted whilst eating at the king's table."
That's somewhat disturbing, not only the fact that someone sealed you inside of a can of peas over something like that, but also the fact that you blurted that out as an introduction, I mean, whatever impression I have of you has totally just went down the drain.
"Since you have freed me from my prison, I shall grant you three wishes!"
So I get three wishes?
"Yes, three wishes," contrary to the words coming out of this strange genie's mouth, he's now holding up a total of seven fingers, on one hand. Don't ask me how, my head is starting to hurt. I'm pretty sure there were only five fingers on it the last time I looked.
I wonder how good this guy is at math, I kind of get the feeling that I can fool him into granting something like sixteen of my wishes, although I think that I'd feel guilty about it afterwards. Though I guess I should make sure. How do you count to three?
The genie looks a little confused but starts counting anyway.
"One, two, seventy-four, thirty-five, eleven, eight and six quarters, three,"
I blink.
What? Is he serious? Is there really anyone out there that could possibly be this bad at math? I mean come on! Though I don't think I should complain about it, after all, it looks like I can get away with at least seven wishes before my conscious will start to kick in.
"So, what will be your first wish master Kyon?"
Wait. How come you're calling me by that damn nickname too!? When did I even introduce myself!?
"Since you're my master, it's only natural that I would know your name."
Great. Just great. I might as well really change my name to Kyon at this rate. But I guess I should think of what wishes this genie could grant. Are there anything that I can't wish for?
"Hmm…" the genie looks thoughtful, "You can not wish for complete world domination."
Who seriously would? Oh yeah, Haruhi probably would've. The thought of that girl conquering the world sends shivers down my spine. I wonder if I can somehow keep someone else away from taking over the world?
"It is possible," he suddenly makes a weird face, "I'm not going anywhere near that girl, she's freaking crazy!"
Would you look at that Haruhi, you really do inspire fear into all who knows you. Oh well, there goes any wish that would've involved our own personal god. Though I guess I can't blame him for it, she really is scary, especially when she's on the trace of some kind of mystery.
I wonder if I should just wish him to disappear, making sure that Haruhi wouldn't somehow find out that I was keeping a genie. Because no matter how I looked at it, that would be bad. Really bad. But still… giving up on six wishes – still planning to use the seventh wish as a 'goodbye' ticket – was kind of difficult. Who would seriously give up the chance of getting six wishes from a genie, that's like twice the number one is supposed to get.
Oh well, since he's terrified of Haruhi, I probably don't have to worry about her finding out about him, after all, if something scares you, you do try your very best in order to avoid it. Even if Haruhi had frightening perceptive abilities, there was no way that she could match a genie, right?
Is there any chance that you might be found out by Haruhi?
"Well…" the genie looks thoughtful, "the possibility exists… I've never really met anyone like her before, so I can't say for sure…"
If I were to make one of my wishes to be that you are not found out by Haruhi, would that work?
The genie looks at me and then nods his head. "Yeah, it should work. As long as she doesn't actively try to break the wish down, her powers shouldn't be a problem."
Actively tries to break the wish down?
"Let's say that your wish was to make her wear a stupid outfit in public. Since she wouldn't want to do something such as that, she would struggle against it. And the wish would be rendered null."
I think I got it. In other words, as long as I don't tell her that I've found a genie, she won't try to find you and my wish would still be in effect from her finding out by accident.
"Correct."
Then that'll be my first wish.
"So be it," the genie does something with flashy light effects, "There you go. Let's see… how many wishes do you have left…?" he scratches his head in deep concentration.
That looks painful, you know what. How about I keep track of the amount of wishes I've got left?
"You'd do that?" he looks remarkably relieved, "Thank you so much. You see I've never been very good with numbers."
Really? I hadn't noticed. I sigh.
This is way too easy to be any good for my consciousness.
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A/n: If anyone can guess why I decided that the genie should come from a can of peas I'm going to be surprised. I didn't know myself until a couple of days afterwards. Weird how that works huh?
