"Kono monogatariha shougai sa re masu."

"ZZZ"

"Anata ga saishono kakikomi ha kana razu shougai desu."

"ZZZ"

"Watachi ha hontouno rixyodan ha watshi woutta eru koto ha deki nai koto wonegette i masu."

"ZZZ"

"I can hear you Mr. Smith."

"ZZZ"

"Class, it appears Mr. Smith is sleeping during my lecture." Professor Otaku said.

The class stuttered.

"Does anyone remember the penalty for sleeping in class?"

There was silence.

"Come now surly you all read the syllabus."

Again there was silence.

"Apparently not."

Prof reached for lever on his desk. "Very well, since none of you seem to have done their homework, anyone caught sleeping is dropped into the tentacle pit."

Prof pulls the lever, and the floor beneath the sleeping student collapses, tentacles rising up to greet him as he falls.

"Have a good time Squidward." Prof said, pulling back the lever and restoring the floor. "For the rest of you," he said turning back to rest of the class, "hopefully you've spent more time reading the textbook than your syllabus. Pop Quiz."

The class groaned. Prod began writing questions on the board in English "When I return I want all of these questions transcribed and answered in Japanese. English answers will receive no credit, nor will Japanese answers with no question. Is that clear class?"

"Hai sensei." The class responded weakly.

"Good to know." Prof responded, leaving the class room heading for the teachers' lounge.

When Prof arrived at the lounge, he was surprised to see four strangers there, three men and a woman. Students didn't come here, and Prof knew all of the teachers; who were these strange people? Something about them worried Prof. Two of the men were speaking to each other in British sounding accents. The woman was also speaking. She sounded… southern? No not really, at least not backwater-hick southern. Come to think of it only one of the men sounded exactly British, perhaps the other was Canadian? The strangers' nationality, however, was the least of his thoughts. The man who was not speaking wore a mask that covered his entire head. Who did that outside of Halloween? Cosplayers? Burglars? Exiled princes in an alternate Japan?

"No, that last one is just silly." Prof said aloud.

Hearing these words the strangers turned and saw him. "YAY! It's him!" shouted the man with the British Accent.

Prof was disturbed.

The other men looked at the one who had just spoken with equally disturbed looks on their faces. The woman also seemed disturbed for a moment, but quickly clamed and approached the professor. "Are you Professor Otaku?" she asked.

"I am," Prof responded, "who are you?"

"My name is Jesu Otaku," the woman said "and these are my colleges, Arkada, Malakye and Film Brain. We have come here to ask you for your help."

"Are you new students?" Prof questioned "My normal office hours are 2-4; I don't tutor any other time. Squidward, however, will take your questions 'round-the-clock."

"We aren't students," Malakye, the masked one said "we're soldiers."

"Our country was attacked." Jesu Otaku said. "Well, Film Brain's county and mine, Ark and Mal joined us later."

"What country might that be?" Prof asked.

"Kickassia." JO replied.

"Where?"

"It's a micro-nation in the middle of Nevada." JO said. "It has been overrun by mob of angry nerds."

"Does that happen very often?" Prof said sarcastically.

"It's actually how we came to power… kinda helps that country controls about an acre of land."

"So let me get this straight." Prof began."You guys came all the way from Nevada to ask a Japanese Professor you've never met to help fight for an acre of land?"

"Yep! It was my idea!" Film Brian said.

"Why?" Prof asked.

"Because the plot says so."

"What?"

"Don't worry Prof; we're going to give you magical superpowers to help us fight." Film Brain said.

"I've heard enough." Prof said turning to leaving the room, slamming the door behind him. "Wait Professor!" Film Brain shouted running after him.

"That could have gone a lot better." Malakye said.

"Honestly JO, I don't know why you trust that guy," Arkada continued "he's off his rocker."

"He and I were the only loyal Kickassians to escape alive; everyone else either was captured, switched sides, or died. Go through that with anyone and you'll learn trust too." JO said. "I'm not sure what to make of his, well, intuition, but if it weren't for it we wouldn't have escaped either."

"Too be fair," Malakye said "it's not like we have any other lead to go one. You have to be chosen to use one of our morphers, and there's no objective way to find a chosen one."

"I hope you guys know what you're doing," said Ark "It's only a matter of time before Mickey catches up with us."

Professor Otaku sat at his desk, early the next morning, grading the pop quiz before his students were set to arrive. He was not pleased with their answers.

"No, Mr. Tea, the emperor of Japan is not Chuck Norris," He said aloud "nor was Michael Jackson the first man to walk on the Moon."

He looked up at the clock. "Strange," he thought "some of the students should have arrived by now."

Prof graded the last of the quizzes, and found the results equally unsatisfying. "Perhaps," he though, "if I had given my class the full time I initially intended they would have done better. They would have gotten it if that British lunatic hadn't chased me back to the room. Aw well, at least Squidward will have some fun today."

Prof looked back at the clock. Class would start any minute and still no one was here. Has an entire class ever been late? Something was amiss. He decided to go out and investigate.

Going out into the hallway he was shocked by what he saw. Just a few meters from him was a knight in full black body armor. "And I though Mal was weird." Prof thought. The knight's weirdness did not end there. Prof was amazed he even fit in the hallway; he had to be at least 10 feet tall.

"Um hello," Prof said to the knight. It turned to face him. "My class is missing, would you happen to have seen about thirty college age kids walking around?"

The knight drew a sword.

"Woah big fella, no need to be violent!" Prof said.

The knight charged at him.

"All right you want violence, I'll give you violence." Prof said.

Prof leapt into the air aiming a kick at the knight's head. His foot collided with the knight's helmet… hard.

Prof fell to the ground, his foot in pain, the knight seemingly unmoved. It swung its sword at him, Prof barely rolling out of the way. He took off running. The knight perused… really slowly.

"At least I know I can outrun it." Though Prof.

He then heard what sounded like a rocket.

Turning the corner quickly, Prof barely dodged the knight's sword, which flew at him surrounded with black fire. The sword collided with the wall of Prof's classroom, setting it ablaze. Prof ran for the exit as fast as he could.

As Prof approached the exit he slowed down, seemingly having lost the knight. He stopped and panted.

"Was that thing even human?" he wondered aloud.

A few meters ahead of him was the building's front door, directly beside him an open window. Prof heard speaking through the window, and looked out of it. He saw a row of knights like the one he had encountered earlier lined up in front of the exit. Most of the knights held students in their arms. In front of the knights was a man Prof had not seen before holding a photograph in view of the students. The knights that did not hold students were kneeling to him.

"I'm going to ask this one more time," the strange man said to the students. "How many of you saw these people?" He waved the photograph in front of them for effect.

"Come on," he said not getting a response, "I know they were here, how does one not notice a man with a full face mask!"

"And I thought those weirdoes were just annoying," Prof Thought, "I need to get out of here!"

Prof began making his way to the back door, but he heard screaming and ran back to the window.

One of the knights was rubbing his burning sword over the back of a student. The man motioned and the knight pulled back his sword, the flames going out both on it and the student.

"I told you," the student said "I didn't see anything! None of us have!"

"If that is that case," the stranger said, "you all are of no use to me. Black Knights, kill them." The students screamed.

"Hey!" Prof yelled storming out the front door. "Leave my students alone!" He charged at the stranger fist first. The stranger caught his punch. "Well, well, well, what have we here?" he said.

A knight approached. Prof tried to run, but the stranger held onto him and would not let him move. The knight kicked him in the stomach as he finally let go, sending Prof flying into the wall of the building. Two more knights approached him. He could not roll away from both of them.

"Kill him first." The stranger said. The knights drew their swords, setting them ablaze, and lunged at Prof with them. Prof closed his eyes expecting the end. Nothing happened.

Prof opened his eyes. Standing in front of him was a man in blue spandex, facing forward toward two piles of disconnected piles of armor. The man wore a black cape with a foreign symbol in written on it in blue ink. Prof recognized it; it was the kanji for "water."

"Come on," the man said in a familiar voice, "you can't possibly have expected to die in chapter one."

In flash of light all of the knights holding students broke apart into pieces and three other spandex clad warriors appeared around them with swords out. One of them wore yellow spandex and a white cape with the kanji for "lightning" written on it in yellow ink. Another wore orange spandex and a black cape inscribed with an orange kanji meaning "earth," and the last wore violet spandex and a white cape, which bore the violent kanji "wind." The students ran for cover.

In dawned on Prof. "I know that accent," he said looking at the blue ranger. "You're the lunatic who chased me yesterday! You all are the people from the lounge!"

"Yep, that would be us." Film Brain said.

The stranger laughed. "I figured threatening the students would lore you goddies out, though I will say, I didn't expect that one to show up and challenge me." He said, looking at Prof. He picked up a sword from one for the fallen knights. "Have you guys come to surrender or will we have to do this the hard way?"

"I think you know the answer to that 8-Bit Mickey." JO said from behind her purple visor. "Film Brain," she continued "get the Professor and his students to safety. Ark, Mal, you guys take out the rest of the Black Knights. The traitor is mine!"

The wind picked up as JO charged at Mickey with speed Prof had never seen before, Mickey barely blocking in time. Ark and Mal engaged the other knights. Film brain grabbed Prof's arm. "Come on!" He said, and they both ran off in the direction the students had fled.

"I take it this guy was one of the 'nerds' who invades your country." Prof said to Film Brain.

"Not exactly," Film Brain said. "8-Bit Mickey was originally one of us."

"Are you saying he was a ranger, like you?"

"No, he wasn't a ranger, originally that was just JO, but he was a Kickassian. When we were attacked he betrayed the glorious Nostalgia Critic and helped the invaders against him."

They caught up to the students hiding behind the next building.

"Mickey has forsaken us to follow our enemy, the Angry Videogame Nerd."

Sparks flew as JO's sword clanged against Mickey's.

"DIE ALREADY!" JO shouted as Mickey blocked her latest blow. No Black Knight had ever resisted her as Mickey did now.

"Such a temper," Mickey said. "Back in Kickassia I remember you being so calm and intellectual."

"You betrayed us!" she shouted sticking her hardest blow yet. "You're responsible for all of this Mickey! You didn't kill him, but if not for you he would still be alive!" Mickey laughed as he blocked even this blow.

"Why did you do it Mickey?" She said "Why did you said with the Nerd!"

"A hick like you could never understand." He began. "I sided with the Nerd, because I saw the truth. The Nerd is God. Only he can see the good from the bad. Only he can destroy evil."

JO struck again; again Mickey blocked. "You sicken me." She said, this time flipping backwards instead of striking directly. Her sword began to glow. "Wind Slash!" she yelled moving he sword through the air, and the air itself moved forward to slice at Mickey. His hand was severed. "Give up!" JO shouted. Mickey only laughed.

Mickey's hand stopped in midair and then floated back toward his wrist. It reattached, and the wound healed, as though nothing had happened. JO was speechless.

"Like I said," Mickey began "a hick like you could never understand the truth. I gave the Nerd everything he needed to take Kickassia, and in exchange, he gave me immortality."

Mickey looked out into the distance, and saw a student peeking back from behind the other building. "Dividing you forces is never a good idea, JO," he said, "and I shall now show you why!" The clouds above them began to darken. "In the name of the Nerd, I summon a monster from the deepest void!" Lightning struck behind the other building.

Lightning came down in front of the students, and a lion appeared before them standing upright. It roared at Prof. Film Brian stepped in front of it. "I'll handle this." He said to the professor. "Get you students as far away as possible." Prof turned to his students. 'You heard the man, let's go! Prof said," and he and his students ran for the parking lot.

Film Brain lunged at the lion. It did the same, it claws colliding head on with Film Brain's sword. The sword won, and a deep gap appeared in the lions paw. It ran away.

"Pussy." Film Brain thought.

The lion suddenly disappeared, then reappeared behind the Film Brain, and began clawing at his back. Film Brain was taken by surprise. He turned around slamming his sword into the lions's side. As he did, the lion bend down and bit him. Once the blows were struck, the two leap backwards away from each other.

"I never liked cats," Film Brain said midair, and threw his sword at the lion. "Water Rapier!" he said.

The sword collided with the lion and embedded itself into it. The lion became thinner, as water leaked out through his skin and began floating toward the Film Brain.

"The water from within your own body will now be used against you." He said, and then the water went flying back at the beast crashing into it like a tidal wave. The sword left it, and flew back into Film Brain's hand.

The lion began to run away again and again disappeared.

Film brain turned around ready to stab the beast as it reappeared behind him, but it did not.

Prof and his students arrived at the parking lot.

"Alright students," Prof said "Class is dismissed. All you need to drive as far away from here as possible. If you don't have a car, find someone who does. I do know who has a car and who doesn't. Don't make me bring Squidward out here."

Prof did not know if was from fear or respect, maybe it was both, but order was maintained, and soon all but one student had been driven away.

'What are you still doing here?" Prof said to the student. "You have a car. Go away!"

"Professor, it's me Mr. Smith." He said.

Prof noticed the suction cup-shaped marks on the student's face.

"Are you going to try and kill me like the last student I dropped in the tentacle pit?" He asked.

"I was actually considering it when I came here this morning," Smith said," but after seeing you stand up to Mickey, I want to hug you!"

"I'm not a huggy person." Prof said.

"Please!" Smith said outstretching his arms.

"No"

"Please"

"No."

"Please"

The lion then appeared behind Smith.

"NO!" Prof shouted lunging for his student as the lion jumped forward. They both passed underneath it.

Prof got to his feat and stood between the lion and his student. "GET OUT!" he shouted at Smith, who quickly obeyed.

The lion charged at Prof. He closed his eyes expected not to open them. Nothing happened.

He opened his eyes and saw that the lion had stopped, the tip of Film Brain's sword pocking out of his chest. Film Brain stood a few meters behind it.

"Chapter one, remember?" He said. "Water Rapier!"

Water began leaking from the lion and floating back toward Film Brain, but this time the lion would have none of this attack. It disappeared, and both the water and the sword fell to the ground, and would not return to him. Film Brain turned around and saw the lion materialize in front of him, but without his sword he was trapped. His fists were no match for the lion's claws. It began to maul him.

Prof was horrified. Film brain's visor shattered, and he de-morphed. The lion then picked him up threw him at Prof, causing him to crash into Prof's car, the window shattering into his back.

"Chapter one, shit." Film Brain said.

Prof rushed to him. "Are you alright?" He said.

Film Brain reached into his pocket. "The plot says it's time for me to go," he said 'but it also says it's time for you to come." He pulls something from his pocket and hands it to Prof. "Strap this too your wrist, hold it high, and say what comes to your heart. Then you will have the power to slay that monster."

Prof looked at the strange device Film Brain handed to him. It was a white slab with a red stone in the top center, and white Velcro extending down into a strap beneath it. Prof turned around and saw the lion charging toward them.

"Here goes nothing." He said strapping the morpher around his wrist. He raised his hand into the air and shouted "D7! Yin Morph! Fire!"

It only took a second, but it felt like a year to Prof, as fire engulfed him. It did not feel like the fire was burning him, in fact, it felt as though Prof was the fire. Then the fire disappeared an left Prof clad in red spandex and a whit cape, the kanji "fire" proudly displayed as it flapped in wind.

Prof drew his sword just in time to catch the lion's claw, gauging the lion's paw, opposite the gauge Film Brain had made. The lion ran away.

Prof closed his eyes. He knew what would happen next from watching Film Brian. The lion would appear behind him, and he would slash it away.

He opened his eyes. He lion disappeared and Prof turned back sword ablaze. The lion reappeared and Prof slashed through it, and the car. The gas ignited an exploded. Both the lion and Prof leapt back.

Prof landed on his feet, the lion on its side. It had been fighting too long, but Prof had only begun. He raised his sword. "This is it!" He said. "Fire Dragon!"

A dragon of fire came forth from Prof's sword and stuck the lion. Engulfed in flames, the lion gave out one final roar, and then was a pile of ash.

Prof approached Film Brain. Now he was both stabbed and burned. "We need to get you to a doctor." Prof said.

"It is too late for me now," Film Brain said, 'but you have shown it is not too late for you. Go, join with the others, and defeat the scourge that summoned the monster."

"I don't know how to do that!" Prof said. "I shouldn't have known how to do anything I just did!"

"You knew how, because the power came from within you. Ameterasu has given you a gift that the morpher merely awakened. Take the morpher, use your gift, and destroy evil."

The clouds parted and the rising sun was exposed.

"Symbolism!" Film Brain said, and with that he drew his last breath.

JO struck at Mickey yet again. Of course, Mickey blocked. JO began breathing deeply. How much longer could she keep doing this?

"Getting tired aren't we JO?" Mickey said. "Allow me then put an end to the overly long gag."

Mickey threw his sword at JO and it set itself ablaze with black fire. It struck JO, and she went flying back and hit the ground. Her visor shattered. She was barely conscious.

Mickey picked up another sword from a fallen Black Knight. "Not even your ranger powers are a match for what my god has given me." He said. "Die JO." He walked toward her, sword in hand, as JO slowly tried to crawl away.

There is a flash of light and Ark and Mal appear between them, swords out, severing both of Mickey's hands. His hands hit the ground. Tense seconds passed, and then Mickey's hands rose back up and reattached to his wrists.

Mickey looks back over the battle field; both his summon and all of the Black Knights he brought were dead. Now all of the rangers were free to fight him. He had beat JO, but lost the battle.

"Congratulations, brigadiers," said Mickey. "The day is yours, but tomorrow belongs to God." In a flash of lightning he disappeared.

"Are you alright JO?" Arkada asked from behind his yellow visor.

JO laid ground, de-morphing. "I'll be fine." She said. She sighed. "I can't believe he got away."

"It's alright JO." Malakye said. "I wouldn't have sought you out if I didn't think we could win. You'll have your revenge, and I'll have mine."

Prof approached. "Who are you?" JO asked. Prof removed his helmet. The brigade gasped.

"Well I'll be damned." Arkada said. "Film Brian was actually right. He's one of us!"

"Professor," JO began attempting to stand "where is Film Brain?"

Prof sighed and looked at the ground. He looked back up and told her plainly "Film Brain in dead. He was killed a monster that Mickey summoned."

JO fell back to the ground and began sobbing. "Not again!" she wailed. "He killed my mentor, he killed by lover, and now he killed the last of my countrymen!"

"Jesu Otaku, the last Kickassian." Malakye thought. Arkada now looked down at JO in pity. He had hardly known the Film Brain, but he knew what he meant to JO. Malakye had known the two Kickassians longer than Arkada, though not longer than they'd know each other. He failed to sympathize though with either of them. His goals were the same as JO's, but his motives were oh so different. He knew better than to share any of his thoughts right now.

Arkada looked up at Prof. "Professor," he said, "if you are able to use a morpher it means you have been chosen, that your destiny it to fight alongside us. I have to apologize to you on our behath for bringing this battle to you and your students. I know it's not your war we fight, but surly there must be a way to convince you to trust us, to join us."

Prof sighed. "I need no convincing." He said. "I still don't trust you after what happened here, but after seeing what those monsters did to my students, I know which side has the moral high ground in this war. I will fight with you guys."

"Why thank you," Ark began.

"On one condition," Prof interrupted. "You all work for me."

Ark was insulted. "That's a bit of a condition don't you think."

"Like you said, this isn't my war; you brought it to me. If you want my help, you should be willing to pay a price for it."

Malakye looked out into the distance. "We should negotiate this later." He said. "The police will be here soon, and JO is de-morphed and in pain. She is currently our leader. You should talk to her about this when she has recovered from her injuries, both physical and emotional. For now we best be going."

"Will us moving on attract more of those knights?" Prof asked.

"It's possible, but highly doubtful." Malakye said. "The quad of Black Knights Ark and I just destroyed were the same ones that have been following us since we left Nevada. With them gone, it will be difficult for the Nerd to track us."

"Mal," JO whimpered "we can't leave now! What about Film Brain!"

"I will retrieve his body." Malakye said. "We can stop and bury him somewhere more secluded. After that, we leave and begin our search, talking our war with us, far away."

JO conceded to that. Prof still needed more. "Alright I'll go with you for now." He said. "My continued services, however, are still subject to the previous condition."

"Fair enough," Malakye said. "The search now begins."

"What search?" Prof asked.

"We need to find our new fifth member." Mal began. "Now that Film Brain has passed, Tsukiyomi will choose another to take his place. We must find his choice."

"How do we do that?" Prof asked.

"So many questions for a wannabe leader," Mal joked. "There is no objective way to determine the will of a god. He found you through Film Brain's 'intuition' baring that we will have to resort to means ever more metaphysical. We must look for signs of the moon god's favor."

"And what might a sign of this favor be?" Prof further inquired.

"A ranger's ultimate weapon," Malakye replied, "a mecha."

"You want us to find a mecha?" Prof asked. Mal nodded. "What do you want us to find next. a fox girl?"

Vixen sneezed.

"Bless you Vixen." Rabbit said. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine Rabbit," Vixen said. "What were you saying?"

FUTURE VISSION

To begin, a platypus begins a hunt while a fox dreams of being an owl. Who will first learn the rules of love and war? The falcon's wings are clipped and the New Moon rises high above the lowly fox. A great terror rises up from the fox's den as the owl takes flight. And Then!