I don't own Naruto.

Warnings: Yaoi, language

This is dedicated to sasodei-iz-awesome, for being awesome. And I'm sorry if it isn't as good as my other lemons (I was writing this 15 minutes before I was supposed to take the train to the boat). I am also blaming the fact that this is my first KakuHida.

Edited 2008-12-30

Talk Dirty

Hidan tapped his foot impatiently against the Earth floor. He sighed for the forth or fifth time in two minutes. He looked around, seeing nothing but trees like the one he was currently leaning at. Where was Kakuzu, taking such a long time. Inwardly, Hidan was cursing his partner in crime for being late.

He ran his slender fingers through his greyish hair, still looking around for the other missing nin. It wasn't like Kakuzu could hide behind a bush; he was too tall. Hidan sighed again, the tapping of his foot continuing.

"Hidan."

Hidan spun around, seeing the one he had been waiting for. His eyes widened when he noticed that his partner was without his black coat with red clouds. The shorter of the two almost blushed when he saw Kakuzu's well-toned, nicely proportioned body.

"Where's your fucking cloak?" Hidan asked, not caring if it sounded rude, if it was rude.

Kakuzu's red-green eyes glanced at him. "Kisame took it."

"Hm. Never liked him. Fucking stupid. Always hanging after Uchiha like a dog. Or maybe a fish." The Jashin-believer shrugged. "Why am I here, by the freaking way?"

Kakuzu didn't answer immediately, knowing that waiting before answering always annoyed Hidan. "You're doing me a favour, since I fixed your head."

"Really now?" Hidan snorted, not believing what the taller man was saying.

"Since I fixed your head, you're giving me head."

Hidan stared. And stared. He didn't know for how long he stood and just stared at the handsome, though covered, face of Kakuzu's. "What?!"

"Down on your knees."

"N-no fucking way! I'm not sucking your damn cock!" Hidan couldn't help but move his gaze down to Kakuzu's groin, surprised by the size visible through the fabric. When he thought about it, he had never seen Kakuzu without the Akatsuki cloak.

"Then I'm fucking you."

Hidan dragged in air, ready to let out a string of curses, but then his mind acknowledged the tone Kakuzu used. "Say it again."

Kakuzu walked closer, until Hidan was pressed between a tree and the taller man's sexy body. "I am going to fuck you." He placed his hands on each side of Hidan's head, capturing him. He waited for the swearing and the ramble about Jashin-sama never allowing such a thing, but it never came. Instead he felt two cold hands against he muscled chest, curious hands.

While Hidan touched his chest, he removed one strong arm and ripped away the cloth covering his face. Before Hidan could look up, his lips were linked with Kakuzu's. At first, the kiss was slightly awkward, since Hidan wasn't responding. But as soon as Kakuzu bit down on the grey-haired nin's lip, he got response all right.

"Damn you, you bastard." Hidan murmured before he pressed his lips against Kakuzu's again. Their lips parted slowly, and Kakuzu's tongue sneaked inside of Hidan's mouth, exploring and tasting. The Jashin-believer moaned, surprising both himself and the other male.

Kakuzu backed away, unbuttoning Hidan's irritating cloak. It fell to the ground, and was left there. Hidan stood on his tiptoes, attacking Kakuzu's mouth with his own. The taller of the two was a bit surprised when he felt Hidan rub against his leg, sporting a hard on.

"You little bitch." Kakuzu chuckled darkly and bit down in Hidan's neck while undoing the grey-haired nin's pants. Hidan groaned when Kakuzu's teeth sunk down in his skin. "Take it," the taller man muttered and pulled down Hidan's pants and underwear. His own followed not too soon after.

They shared another clumsy, wet kiss before their shirts were removed eagerly. Kakuzu almost threw his head back as Hidan's mouth moved down his neck and over his naked chest.

"Come on!" Hidan panted.

Kakuzu chuckled and pulled Hidan with him down on the warm ground. Hidan gasped when Kakuzu's big erection rubbed against his inner thigh.

Hidan hissed when he felt a hand around his cock. Kakuzu slowly let his hand pump up one time.

"Beg for it."

Hidan did nothing but trying to buck his hips up in Kakuzu's hand, panting and gasping.

"I said, beg for it." Kakuzu growled. Hidan let out a whine.

"K-kaku-chan ... mm ... please ..."

"Please what?" Kakuzu placed his hands on Hidan's thighs. "Spread your legs."

Hidan obeyed blindly. "Pl-please ... fuck me ... Kakuzu!" The taller did no such thing, instead he leaned down and brushed his lips against Hidan's. "Kakuzu! I'm fucking offering myself here! Take it before I'm closing, damn it!"

Kakuzu chuckled and shoved two fingers inside of Hidan, without any warning. Hidan cursed. "You're such a girl. What are you, a virgin?"

Hidan glared, but with his hair ruffled and his eyes half-lidded in pleasure, it wasn't very intimidating. A third finger joined the other two, going in and out.

Hidan gasped as something inside of him was stroked, and his back arched from the dirty ground.

"You like this, huh?" Kakuzu smirked, his hand going faster and faster. His cock was nearly twitching by the sight of Hidan moaning under him.

"Yes, ah, yes!"

The fingers were removed, and Hidan whimpered. "Put them in there again! Kaku-chan! Aah..." His eyes rolled back and his eyelids fluttered as Kakuzu gripped his erection and placed himself by the smaller man's entrance. Without any kind of warning or sign he pushed inside.

"Damn," Kakuzu growled out, trying not to move yet. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to pound into the heat of Hidan's tight ass.

"M-move! Damn it!" Hidan arched his back, trying to push down on the older man. Kakuzu slowly started moving, in and out, panting and clenching his fist, gripping nothing but grass. Hidan reached up his hands, clawing on Kakuzu's strong, naked back.

Kakuzu let go off the grass with one hand, supporting his weight with the other, and grasped Hidan's erect cock. The grey-haired nin gasped. Kakuzu pumped it along with his thrusts.

Hidan was starting to get close, and his clawing on Kakuzu was drawing blood by now. The crimson liquid that trickled up through the long wounds were ignored, as Kakuzu came inside of Hidan.

It was a strange feeling, but Hidan was too far away to even notice. Kakuzu continued to stroke his dick, until he climaxed and came in Kakuzu's hand. "F-fuck!"

Kakuzu smirked. "Next time we're doing it inside." He said, more to himself than to his partner. Hidan glared.

"What makes you fucking think we'll do this again, dickhead?" Hidan snapped, but too tired to sound hateful.

Kakuzu raised a sceptical brow. "We're not doing it again?"

"… Maybe one more time."

Owari