Disclaimer: Don't own CCS. Got that? Good.
I'm feeling a bit angsty right now, so pardon this. I love S+S, but I also like angst fics, so this is what happens, when Syaoran convinces himself that Sakura was better off without him…
Letting Go
Syaoran was a magician. He could control the elements with the help of ofudas, and he doubted that there was anyone within a hundred mile radius who could best him at swordsmanship.
But why, every time that green-eyed girl smiled at him, he became a simpering fool.
Of course, that Daidouji and his half-ancestor, didn't help.
He knew that they liked it, the manipulations. That was why they were Daidouji and Hiiragizawa. Heh, Daidouji and Hiiragizawa. Now there was a scary thought. But still, they still did have Sakura's best interests at heart.
But they hadn't taken into account Takeru Ishida. No, not at all.
Syaoran had stayed there for so long already. Nearly five years. His clan had been pressuring him more and more, but then he had always resisted, saying he should protect Sakura and her Cards.
But that excuse was wearing thin. The Clan could sense Sakura's growing power. She wasn't at Clow Reed's level yet, but she would reach his level and surpass it soon. Yue had even given Touya his powers back because Sakura could now power all her Cards and both Guardians.
And she had a new love interest. Yukito had broken her heart, but she had forgiven him easily, since it was for the better. Unfortunately, he hadn't found out until after Tomoyo had comforted Sakura in the park.
And then that new student, Takeru came. He was handsome, and very popular. Many of the girls were swooning over him, including Sakura, Tomoyo, and Chiharu, much to Syaoran, Eriol, and Yamazaki's anger.
But then he and Sakura clicked. Sakura only said hanyan for a few specific things, like Yukito, or something of that order. Yukito and Mizuki-sensei had both invoked that feeling in Sakura, but both of been because of their magical powers. Power was drawn, consciously, or not, to power. And Sakura had lots of it.
But Takeru was just a normal person. Syaoran had checked his background. Never could tell when another Eriol could come along. Takeru's family had turned out to own a small company in Kyoto, that was rather wealthy, and very old. Very respectable. Also, they were old friends of Sakura's father, and Takeru had met Sakura when they were both 6-years old.
Sakura had confessed to Tomoyo that she was starting to develop feelings toward Takeru that felt different than Yukito's, and felt more than a crush. Tomoyo had in turn informed Syaoran and Eriol.
"I know you're there," he said to the ground below him.
Syaoran had been sitting in his favorite tree, because it gave him solitude. But those two always knew where to find him. He knew that if he didn't come down, Eriol would pull him down, one way or another.
He jumped down, and stood in front of Eriol and Tomoyo, arms crossed. "What is it you want?"
"Li-kun, we've noticed that you've been a bit more… moody lately," Tomoyo begun.
"And we think that its because a certain green-eyed beauty has spent a lot of time recently with someone who name begins with a T," continued Eriol.
There was silence for a moment.
"If you want to know, Li, both me and Eriol think that you're much better for her than Takeru," Tomoyo said in a rush.
Syaoran held up a hand to stop her. "I know that. I also know that she has been feeling attracted to him. Not because of power, not because he is a false form of a guardian, a chosen servant of Clow Reed, or anything. He is just a nice guy that has won her heart."
He sighed. "Tomoyo-chan, you once said that your greatest joy is seeing the one you love be happy, even if that means to be in love with someone else. I understood that when she had her crush on Yukito, and I understand that now. Don't push it."
"Li, I can tell the future, but human hearts are harder to predict," and Eriol hesitated, "and I don't know who is truly meant for Sakura-san's heart. It could Takeru, or it could be you. I honestly don't know."
"But right now, it looks like it going to be Takeru?" he said.
Eriol shook his head. "Sakura thought she was in love with Yukito, but it turned out to be a different type of love."
"Then how come, they've already kissed?" Syaoran countered.
Both stiffened. "How did you find out?" Tomoyo asked, quietly.
"You're not the only one who can spy on Sakura without being noticed," shot back Syaoran. He sighed. "They've already an official couple, I'm surprised that the whole school isn't talking about it."
As if on cue, a couple of girls walked past.
"Did you hear? Sakura-san and Takeru-san have hooked up?" "Really?" "Yes! I just heard that their first date was at…"
"I rest my case," Syaoran said. "She's with Takeru. And I don't mind. Heck, even Touya doesn't mind, and he's ready to beat up any boy that looks at Sakura in the wrong way, and he's ready to shoot me on sight."
"Then fight for her!" Tomoyo burst out. "You love her, don't you? Don't you!"
Syaoran glanced around for any video cameras, and then nodded warily. "Yes, I do."
"I never thought I would see the day when a Li back down from a challenge," Eriol quipped.
Syaoran gazed wearily at Eriol. "Eriol, I've never been exactly proud that I'm a Li. I like it, but I don't flaunt it. And above all else, I value Sakura-chan's happiness and safety."
"So what are you going to do?" demanded Tomoyo. "Just sit by and watch Sakura drift further and further away from you!?"
Syaoran shook his head again. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "No, Tomoyo. Eventually she'll realize that she's been neglecting her friends, and that'll make her feel bad, especially since she's practically forgotten about me. And I don't care about that. But no, I will not watch Sakura fall deeper in love with Takeru. Which is why I'm leaving."
Tomoyo and Eriol stood there, stunned. "You can't be serious," Eriol managed at last.
Syaoran shook his head. "No, I've already made arrangements. I'm going to go home and assume the leadership. And maybe eventually marry Meilin."
"But Meilin has been rooting for you two to get together for nearly three years now! How will she-"
"She will accept," Syaoran said forcefully. "I will not hurt Sakura, I don't want to jeopardize our friendship."
"But do you even still have that?" Eriol asked him, staring at him.
"I'm not sure," Syaoran said, plowing ahead. "But we still have something, so I'm ending it while I can."
Both stared at him imploringly. The main purpose of their lives had been to unite those two in love, and in the process had gotten closer together themselves. To fail in that purpose.
Syaoran smiled sadly. "Don't be sad, this had to come sooner or later. You both knew that I have responsibilities at home, responsibilities that I've avoid for too long. And with me gone, I want both of you to make sure that Sakura is happy and safe. I want you to protect her."
Tomoyo's eyes watered, and then she sobbed, and hugged Syaoran fiercely. "I'll miss you, Li-kun!"
"Don't worry, I'll write," he assured her.
He let go of Tomoyo and nodded at Eriol. Even now, he didn't trust Eriol as far as he could throw him.
Eriol nodded back. "When are you leaving?"
"In a few days answered," Syaoran answered.
The three friends could only stand there as they witnessed the death of a beautiful thing- any hope for Sakura and Syaoran.
***
Syaoran stood at the door to Sakura's house. He didn't care if Touya answered the door and tried to beat him up. All he wanted was to say good-bye to Sakura.
The door opened, and lo and behold, it was Touya Kinomoto.
He glared at Syaoran. "What do you want, Gaki?"
Syaoran didn't even bother to glare back. "I cam to talk to Sakura," he said calmly, for once.
Touya was surprised. Ever since they had met, the moment they saw each other, they got into a glaring contest, that usually only ended when Sakura interrupted.
"She's upstairs, studying," Touya said and let Syaoran into the house. With one last glance, he walked back to the kitchen, leaving Syaoran alone.
Syaoran climbed the steps, and heard voices. Once he got to Sakura's pink door, he knocked gently.
Quickly the door open, revealing the smiling Sakura Kinomoto. "Li-kun!"
Syaoran's eyebrow twitched. Since when had she reverted to calling him Li-kun?
Sakura opened the door a bit further. "What are you doing here, Li?" Syaoran didn't step into the room proper, but he did poke his head in, and saw Takeru lying on the floor, and he could see the imprint where Sakura had been lying moments before. He also saw several math books, and papers scattered on the floor.
Now Syaoran's hand twitched. He had always been the one to help Sakura with her math homework.
"Kinomoto, could I talk to you for a moment?" he asked, using her last name. He couldn't remember the last time he had called her Sakura-chan, and she had called him Syaoran-kun. In fact, the main reason why they had started using first names with each other was because of that elevator incident.
Sakura looked puzzled. "Sure Li-kun. Takeru-kun, I'll be right back."
Syaoran nearly winced. She had called him by his first name, and Syaoran by his surname.
Sakura stepped out into the hallway, and closed the door behind her. "Now, what is it you want to talk about, is it about the Cards?"
Was that all they had ever talked about? Syaoran asked himself. Yes, it was, an inner voice said. Quiet, Syaoran snapped back.
"Kinomoto, I just wanted to… uh, check that the Cards were fine," he stuttered out.
Sakura blinked. "Of course they're fine, Li-kun. Kero-chan doesn't sense anything, and Eriol said that there shouldn't be any threats to them for quite a while, if ever. Why do you ask now?"
Syaoran finally gathered up his nerve, and then finally got out, "I'm leaving for Hong Kong, Sakura!"
Sakura looked at him for a moment. "Oh, okay."
Syaoran stared. She had just said okay to the fact that he was leaving, just like that. He had hoped for something, anything, but he guessed that he wouldn't get it.
"I just wanted to say good-bye," Syaoran said, "and that it was a pleasure knowing you Sakura."
Sakura smiled too. "And it was nice knowing you too, Li-kun! When are you leaving? Want me to see you off at the airport?"
Syaoran shook his head. "That's okay, I prefer a quiet exit. I just wanted to say good-bye to you first."
"Well, arigatou, for coming by, Li-kun. I hope onni-chan didn't give you too much trouble."
Syaoran shook his head. "No, he treated me nicely."
Sakura smiled again. "That's good, nice to see you finally getting along. I'm sorry, but I still have a long way to go with studying for my math test on Monday."
Syaoran nodded. "Of course. Sorry for bothering you."
Syaoran turned around.
"You'll come back to visit, won't you?" asked Sakura, as Syaoran walked down the hallway.
Syaoran stopped. "Maybe."
He didn't hear anything else, except for Sakura's door opening and closing again. When he turned around, Sakura was gone.
***
"Who was that?" Takeru asked as she sat back down on the floor.
"Just an old friend," shrugged Sakura. "He said that he was leaving soon, and just wanted to say goodbye."
Takeru's eyes narrowed. "He was just an old 'friend'?"
Sakura giggled. "Of course, nothing more. Do I detect a hint of jealousy?"
"Of course, I mean who wouldn't want an attractive girl like you," teased Takeru.
Sakura laughed at his attitude, and then sat down, and went back to what they had been doing- kissing.
***
As Syaoran reached for the doorknob to the front door, he heard another voice. "You're making a mistake."
He turned around. Standing there, in all their power, was Keroberos the Elector, and Yue the Judge.
"The mistress still needs you. She will need someone to protect her," said Yue.
"And why do you think I am making a mistake?" he asked them as he crossed his arms. Keroberos had spoken first, and if that stuffed animal thought that he and Sakura together was a good idea, he had to hear this.
"Because you complement each other," Keroberos said. "Your heart was cold, she thawed it out, she stood alone, you joined her. And you are still powerful, and your knowledge of the Cards is useful."
"I always thought that I was gaki?" Syaoran asked.
"You still are, but, though I hate to admit it, you are the best thing to happen to Sakura, even though she is too dense to see it."
"I personally think that this is the best thing I've ever heard!" inserted Touya as his head popped out of the kitchen. "With that gaki leaving, and Sakura already having a boyfriend, I don't even have to kill him now!"
"Quiet, Touya," snapped Yue. "You can have Yukito back in a moment."
"Fine, fine," grumbled Touya as he went back to the kitchen.
"So, you really are leaving?" Keroberos asked.
Syaoran nodded.
"Well, if you are leaving, don't come back. Nobody likes a quitter. Ow!"
Yue had bopped Keroberos on the head. "Keroberos, he did help the Card Mistress, so he does deserve some thanks."
"Yeah, yeah," grumbled Keroberos. "Thanks for all the times you helped Sakura. Now'll, if you excuse me, there is a pudding in the kitchen with my name on it!"
With that, Keroberos charged back into the kitchen, and Syaoran heard Touya shout, "Hey, can't you turn into your stuffed animal form first!"
Yue nodded at him once, and then entered the kitchen, and he could see a faint glow, and then Syaoran heard Yukito say "I'm hungry."
Syaoran shook his head. He sure would miss Japan, he thought as he left the house, never to return.
***
Syaoran stared through the window at Japan. He knew that it was very likely the last time he would see for a long time, if ever. The Clan Elders preferred to keep the Clan Head under close supervision most of the time, so they hadn't been happened when he opted to stay in Japan a couple of extra years.
He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a picture. It was of him, Sakura, just after the Final Judgment.
She was posing for the camera, with him standing behind, smiling slightly. He had just been coming to terms with what his feelings for her meant, and had indulged her when she wanted a picture. Tomoyo had given him a copy, and he had always treasured it.
"Ashiteru, Sakura," whispered Syaoran, as he left Japan- and his one true love.
***
Sakura looked up. "Did you hear something, Takeru-kun?" she asked her boyfriend. They were sitting in the park, just enjoying each other's company.
Takeru shook his head. "No, why?"
Sakura frowned. "I could've just sworn I heard someone say that they loved me. But I guess it was just the wind."
Sakura felt like she was missing something, or someone. But she had all her friends right here in Tomoeda, didn't she? All her important friends, anyway. Li had always been more concerned with the cards, then her, so he couldn't really be called a friend.
She shrugged it off, never noticing her mother's frown.
Nadeshiko Kinomoto stood behind them, frowning. She shook her transparent head. So many possibilities, all gone forever.
All because a little wolf and a cherry blossom had never united.
End
Sorry, I like angst stories, but I usually won't write S+S angst stories. I'm not sure if I should write a sequel or not, this would do okay as a standalone. I guess it depends on the number of reviews I get. Hopefully, I'll write something a little more happy soon.
