Disclaimer- I do not now, nor have I ever owned anything of any signifigance to anyone other than myself. This includes the characters and basic idea of hp, and all the things I can't be bothered to write. Wish I did own HP though... (Self-Insert+Draco=Definitely :]) But I will never own anything related to Harry and his minions (excluding this plotline) so there. JKR is just mean like that. Enjoy!
Under these Circumstances
Chapter 1- Emotions
Hermione sighed as she gazed upon the letter that her mother had sent to her approximately a year ago, before she had passed away. It had been a rough year as she and her mother were close, but luckily yearly exams were not far away and it gave Hermione something to keep her mind off the tragic events that had happened twelve months ago, though they seemed to have taken place just yesterday.
She looked up from the paper, feeling it near drenched with tears, and tucked it safely away in a small lilac box, which she then slid under her bed. As Hermione lay there, looking up at the dorm room ceiling, she prayed for some kind of refuge from the pain that she was experiencing. She went downstairs, comforted somewhat by the fire in front of where she now stood. Hermione sat on the largest lounge and stared at the flames, remembering her mother's loving amber eyes and crying herself to sleep.
As she lay there, still softly crying in her sleep, a young man topped with blonde feathery hair crept silently past the door and peeked in, looking for some friends of his. He saw that she had been crying, as her soft cheeks had been stained heavily with the small amount of mascara that she had failed to remove before she fell asleep. The young male felt compassion towards Hermione, a fact that he dared not admit, for it was almost completely unlike him.
Almost.
Just as he had turned to leave, he stubbed his toe against the leg at the end of the lounge and the large bump, accompanied by the boys muffled yelp, caused her to wake abruptly. She felt ready to scream when she saw the dark silhouette, but soon realised who it was and, although still overcome with shock, managed to calm down before whispering, "Malfoy! What in the wizarding world are you doing here?" feeling a bit embarrassed that he had caught her in the state she was in. She paused, but without waiting for an answer, continued, "And how did you get into the Gryffindor common room in the first place?"
She let Draco finish this time, but soon wished that she hadn't, as he quipped, sarcasm surrounding his every word, "Oh, I should have known that this was the Gryffindor common room." He screwed up his face, adding, "Granger, you look a mess."
Hermione feigned laughter, but snuck a secret glance in the mirror behind Draco's head, not noticing that he had only made fun of her to hide any shreds of empathy that may have been showing through his token badboy smirk. He knew what she had been crying about, as he had overheard her sobbing among some friends in a hidden corner of Hogwarts and had experienced feelings not dissimilar to hers.
She did not seem to have wanted much company from her friends then, so he decided that the worst thing he could do was console a schoolyard rival, as the death of a loved one is often more than enough change without others around them alternating further. However, his theory became outdated when he noticed that Hermione had curled up and began to sob again, becoming increasingly oblivious to anything else that may have been happening around her.
Draco decided to break his rule, and slowly made his way over to Hermione, giving her plenty of time to object to his actions. She didn't, so he sat on the couch next to her, saying nothing.
This carried on for quite some time. It was getting late, and Draco thought he would surely be expelled if he was caught at this hour, so he decided to leave, adding, "If you need to talk, I'm always available." Hermione was taken aback at this sudden display of kindness, but acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, acknowledging Draco's offer through a half-hearted smile.
- ~ -
Hermione sat in the observation tower, pondering the events of the night before. How was Draco able to enter the Gryffindor common room? Why was he there? Why was he so kind to her?
These three questions kept Hermione wondering and many others, most of them about her mother, were whizzing through Hermione's head.
The world was so uncertain now. There was no element of prediction left in this life. Hermione thought back to before she had been informed that she was a witch. It was a world that she had been familiar with and she knew it like the back of her hand. But now everything had changed, and it hurt not to know what the road ahead would bring.
Hermione became infuriated, filled with a sudden rage that took hold of her every action. It seemed as if she had been removed from her body while some stranger taunted and teased her with it until she could take no more. In reality, she was not in control at all. If Hermione had been in control, her actions would have been thought out carefully and precisely, as was shown in every aspect of her life. No, in fact she was far from control. She bowed her head.
Why does life have to be so hard?
Hermione left a short note beside where she sat, and climbed onto the box she brought up with her. She pulled the thick rope tightly around her neck and the friction burned at first, but she didn't care. Tears welled up in her eyes as she whispered silently to the clouds, "I can't live in a world without you now."
Then she jumped.
A/N: Hoping that was a sufficient first chapter/story. Review! Remember, for every review that I receive, I will personally tell Madonna that she is able to adopt another child. She won't be able to, I just want to mess with her head.
