Chapter 1
Hi my name is Dwayne Cock-Cruncher Lightness Sanity Chaos. I have short dark brown hair that I usually wear in a sexxy fauxhawk. I wear only a leather jacket over my pink wifebeaters and destroyed sequined booty shorts with my go-go boots. All my clothing can barely contain the manly muscles that ripple across my molten chassis. I. Am. Sex.
For example I was walking past the greenhouses today when I saw a sultry-looking Slytherin staring back at me. He waltzed straight up to me and whispered in my ear, "I don't know who you are or what the fuck is with those goddamn Muggle clothes, but I am so hot for you right now."
We made out.
But then I had to go to class so I left.
