A/n: This is just to test the FF waters so if it's the worst thing ever please forgive me. Standard Disclaimers Apply.


"Nozomi! Let's-!" Eli began but choked on her words when she realized what she was saying. She started backpedaling but it was too late. "Hm? Let's what?" The two of them were having a date in the confines of Eli's house while Alisa stayed the night at Honoka's. At Eli's request.

She'd been trying to create the right sexual environment for the two of them to take the next step for weeks now but to her eternal surprise, Nozomi, Nozomi of all people, hadn't caught on. Even this situation, where basically every Ayase was out except for the eldest daughter and the lights were dimmed despite the said daughter's fear of the dark, and her insistence at keeping bodily contact the whole while didn't tip the usually cunning girl off.

Finally unable to deal with her sexual frustration, Eli was just gonna come out and say it. Nozomi wouldn't hate her for it, she was sure but it was much harder than she thought.

The innocently satisfied happy look on her girlfriend's face wasn't helping much either.

She was going to give up when her lover gently forced her to look at her with her hand. "Elicchi. Please tell me what you want. I can't make you happy if you don't tell me what'll do that. And I want to. I want to make you happy." The kansai dialect had left her voice as she desperately tried to get Eli to open up.

It was super effective.

"Let's sleep together!" She cried but knew it was no use when for a fraction of a second, a confused look came on her girlfriend's face. The one that always appears when she misinterprets her words.

"Of course! Not that I would ever not take the chance to sleep together with my cute Elichika but for some reason it got real dark in here despite the lights. I was worried the whole time y'know? I hate when my beautiful girlfriend is scared." Her best friend continues and Eli mentally berated herself for her failed attempts at making things romantic. She'd just been worried. Ugh.

Whatever. She got to sleep with her Non-tan pillow and her title as girlfriend meant she could snuggle as much as she wanted without making it weird. She even got a goodnight kiss. Harasho.


"...her denseness is really cute. Y'know. Gap moe and all that. But really. I was all over her in bed and she just giggled and called me a cute clingy child." Eli explained to her fellow members in Muse but was now starting to reconsider.

While Kotori seemed into it to almost weird levels, her childhood friend definitely was not. Umi looked at Eli with something akin to betrayal and the former student council president could see her reevaluating Nozomi to be lower than Eli in her mental Shameless list.

Hanayo was just as interested as Kotori but she was definitely too embarrassed to help. Eli never expected Rin or Honoka to help but was let down by the mature Maki who seemed to have developed some kind of strange attachment to Nozomi and it was clear that she didn't approve of Eli's intentions towards her. Kind of like a jealous child who didn't want her mother to remarry.

Her last hope was her fellow graduate and friend Nico and that hope was dashed when she saw her sadistic, smug grin.

"Do you have any idea how long I've watched the two of you drape yourselves over each other? When you two made it official I just resigned myself to walking in on passionate lovemaking whenever I visit either of you. This. This. Is just perfect." The diminutive girl said and chuckled cruelly at the dark look Eli cast at her. If Eli ever resolved her situation, she'd be sure to invite herself over to Nico's and make love to Nozomi on every piece of furniture she owned.

"Maybe she doesn't really like you. You're her best friend and she doesn't really know any boys. Maybe she's straight." Honoka tries and unknowingly drives a stake of insecurities into Eli's heart which Hanayo recognizes and panics trying to fix it but surprisingly Nico defends her.

"C'mon, Honk. Do you really think anyone who's met Nozomi really thinks she's straight? She's Bi at the very least. And that's a maybe. A heavy maybe."

As Umi tried to stifle Honoka's dark mumbling 'What the fuck did you just call me?!' by following up with "That doesn't write out men though. Maybe we can introduce her to someone. I know of many places to find respectable gentlemen." "Why the hell would you know that?" Maki asked, freaked out. Kotori had tears in her eyes. "Umi-chan..You're not gay?" Honoka looked shocked, even betrayed. "Er." She began to defend herself when Eli cut back in.

"We're getting off topic. Look. We're not considering other people for Nozomi! She's mine, alright? We have to-" "Do absolutely nothing. Who says she's yours, huh? If she doesn't want you, that's perfectly fine. I'll find her the perfect match once she bores of you. Who knows? Maybe she already has." Maki bit back, pissing Eli off but she couldn't do anything. She would definitely tattle to Nozomi and that'll be the end of that.

"Look, this isn't working. Let's just split up do different things. Kotori. What do you want to do?" Umi tries, set on running away after doing this much. Possibly give Nozomi a cryptic warning. She'd understand. Lilly Whites look after their own.

"Well. Umi. We're going to help Eli get to the bottom of this and get her laid. Us and Honoka." The girl said, recognizing her runawayrunrunrunrun posture. Bollocks.

Honoka however wasn't cowed. "Actually, Kotori-chan. I'm not interested in barking up a dead horse." 'What the fu-' Nico mouthed. "I think we'd be more successful finding what Mom- I mean Nozomom- I mean Nozomi wants the most."

Eli groaned. First Maki and now Honoka? Who else is this attached to her girlfriend? SO not harasho.

"I'm with Honoka on this one. If you idiots start stirring up a shit storm like you're bound to, all it's gonna do is worry Nozomi sick. If you guys get into trouble and she finds out the cause, which she will, that witch can damn near sense it, she'd end up feeling horrible and start fixing up everything anyway." Nico growled.

She spoke from experience. That was pretty much the status quo around here. Someone tries some good intentioned crap and if it doesn't work it'll be absolute hell. Then someone has to clean it up. Usually the third years.

That much was fine. She learned to live with it. But if it involved the most self-depreciative girl in the group... Nico couldn't exactly let that happen in good conscience.

"So while you guys do your thing, I'll hang around Nozomi so she doesn't get hurt." She finishes and immediately left the room for the shrine. She'll invite the part time shrine maiden over. Her siblings would love it and Nozomi hated being alone anyway.

Eli was starting to get second thoughts about this. Nico might've seemed like she was just ditching them cause she couldn't be bothered but the half Russian knew that Nozomi was important to her too. Maybe she had a point.

But it was too late. Everyone else was excited and when they got going it was impossible to stop. Even Umi was raring to go. Granted it was to go far far away from them as possible but still.

Luckily for the blue haired girl, or unluckily if you saw it that way, Honoka stole her out of the room when Kotori wasn't looking and made a swift exit with Maki. Probably going to her house. Or Maki's if they wanted to get some work done instead of stuffing themselves with sweets.

Hanayo joined Kotori with surprising initiative and they both dragged Eli away to Eli's place. Hopefully Alisa's presence would mean they would keep the plans PG.

Rin remained where she was, stunned by the course of events. She never realized how bat shit insane her friends could be. Even Kayo-chin!

Shrugging, she decided to wait till tomorrow and ask Nozomi about her feelings for Eli. She didn't think she was smart enough for complex plans so she went with what made the most sense to her, not realizing she had the most sensible plan of all.


A/N: I know. I know. Nozomi being oblivious is crazy talk but it's just a funny idea I couldn't shake. So I have a bunch of ideas bouncing around for this but this being my first I might just leave it at this...unless y'all review and let me know you want more. Flames are welcome but gush is preferred.

Not my first story but definitely the first one I published over here. How do I get a beta person? Is the format ok? Anything I'm doing wrong? Let me know please.