Cold feet: A term used to characterize apprehension or doubt strong enough to prevent a planned course of action.
Future fic. Pairings: Nate/Serena, Chuck/Blair, Dan/Vanessa.
Summary: They're fresh out of college, but back to the City. And after all, home is where the heart is. NS, CB and DV. Other pairings along the way.
A/N: So I was going to do another summer story, but I've been there and done that. And I didn't want to do a post summer story either, because really, do we want five of our pretties stuffed in NYU? How unrealistic and well, it's very contrived that Blair Waldorf isn't receiving an Ivy League education. Wouldn't you much rather see them where they belong, all grown up and fabulous? And yet as romantically entangled as ever. If so, proceed.
Red.
It was her colour. Red for passion. Red for fury and rage. Red to match her temper for the majority of the time. Red, her favourite colour. Red for love.
He didn't want to approach her, if being metres away from her made his breath hitch and made tiny beads of sweat form on his palms, he wasn't going to dare strike polite conversation with the brunette woman observing the latest capture by Vanessa Abrams. If he was completely honest with himself, which not a lot of people are in this beautiful masquerade ball only masking the disasters on the inside, it just made his eyes sting to look at her. She represented his best and worst choices.
And it was his worst one that resulted on the twenty carat canary diamond on her left ring finger.
"Lurking behind my best friend again Chuck? Some things never change." Serena van der Woodsen remarked rather loudly, attracting several of the viewers' attention. She held their gazes too, because without a doubt, she was the golden girl in the room. Or rather, the golden woman.
Chuck Bass tore his gaze from his golden girl and they landed on Serena. He smiled his first genuine smile since his six month bender. Singapore, Rome, London and Paris. Wherever he felt like going. Eventually the places, the beautiful cities all blended into one montage, he couldn't distinguish between them anymore. But the two things remained the same, his favourite brand of scotch and the latest brunette was always in his bed.
"Well, well." He greeted smoothly. He enveloped his one time step sister into a warm embrace. "Now that Nathaniel and Blair are together once again...looks like it's just you and me."
Serena laughed softly and said in an outburst of nostalgia, "I've missed your witty banter."
"I was just about to leave." He replied more darkly. Serena cast her gaze to where Blair had seemingly been froze for a long time, as Nate Archibald took his fiancée's hand.
"Don't leave." She said, sounding more pleading than she would have liked, "You're not the only one who's here with ex issues. And besides I'm mildly interested in how Dana and Vanessa are doing."
"Of course you are. S it's been what, eight years since they interrupted the party and you still care. Let the Brooklyn-ites go. I don't know what she's doing here anyway with her exhibition. I always thought V would know when she wasn't wanted."
"Um, has she ever?" Serena's eyebrows were raised and she smiled. She could sense this was going to be a night no one would forget any time soon.
--
"Remind me why I came here tonight?" Blair Waldorf half questioned, half whined. Her fiancé, the notorious Nate Archibald smiled playfully.
"Because I'm here." He smirked. He wasn't in any particular mood for Blair's complaints tonight and half of what she was saying floated into one ear and straight out the other. Sometimes he'd feel a twinge of guilt for being so blasé around her; they weren't just each others first loves anymore, they were engaged. Here she was; his future wife and he just did not want to listen or comment. He felt so vacant ever since he graduated. The more he observed himself in his mirror these days, the more like he felt he was morphing into his father, the man he didn't want to associate with let alone turn into.
He pressed a kiss into her hair fleetingly before whispering, "I'll make it worth it tonight, I promise."
"Nathaniel, we're in public." An unmistakable voice gushed into Nate's ears.
It was his best friend.
His sort of ex-best friend.
His best friend who was always and still in love with his Blair.
(She was never really his, not entirely.)
"Bass!" Instead of shaking his hand the way you would at an Upper East Side social gathering, Nate took Chuck into a hug and of course, patted his back in a manly manner to make it brusquer. He certainly didn't feel like hugging him, after all he was only going to go after Blair again, but then again, both of them had made habits of masking their truths for years on end.
Chuck's eyes landed on Blair once again. Her mouth parted for seconds before she composed herself, thinking he wouldn't and didn't notice. But of course he did, he always did and it angered her continually.
"Waldorf." Chuck nodded curtly and she just maintained his stare. And for a minute, Nate wondered what in the hell got him involved in this train wreck all over again.
They talked, drank and exchanged humorous jabs at each others love lives that were more awkward that what they should have been. But at this point, it was always going to be awkward. They had basically slept with each other with the exception of Serena and Chuck. Although, had the situation ever been dire enough and if Serena had been intoxicated then what would have stopped Chuck from taking advantage? It was what he did with every other girl he'd set his sights on until she came along. Her with her brown hair and blue eyes. Her who was still very much the girl on his best friends arm, despite all they'd been through.
"We're going to leave you to catch up," Serena was getting bored with their small talk, "lets get some drinks, Natie." His old high school name sounded terribly out of place as her best friend gave her the death glance. Chuck revelled in the situation.
"You're seriously going to marry him, aren't you?" He asked, even though he didn't need too.
"I seriously am Chuck." The reply was terribly impersonal, he would have preferred a real Blair Waldorf reply but he had lost all of that when he lost her.
He reached out for her arm and his hand just stuck there. He didn't have the words this time. He wanted the same emotion and passion he had felt when actually had the words all those years ago outside his limo, when he was prepared to offer her anything she wanted; whenever he could offer her himself.
Blair at first felt revolted by his very touch, but it gave way because this was Chuck Bass.
"I..." she didn't have the words either, apparently.
"You didn't even tell me. I heard from Serena whenever I should have heard it from you." He stated in sadness.
"What about Nate?" She responded weakly.
"What about him? Blair you know Nathaniel and I's relationship never fully healed."
"And that's my fault, right Chuck? You had me then you lost me. So instead of torturing me once again like back in the good old days, how about you fix whatever's left of you and him. Besides, you always loved him better anyway."
She left him.
He let her go.
--
"Sometimes I think this cycle never ends." Serena remarked. Nate frowned, they had this conversation many times before. Unlike the darker half of the non-judging breakfast club, Nate and Serena had actually communicated during their time at College. When Chuck and Blair's hot summer turned frosty fast, it was as almost as if it brought N and S closer together. There she was; all alone at Brown. Sure, she had done this before circa boarding school and there were still guys following her but none of them were him.
"It's different this time." He protested weakly. She rolled her eyes in response and looped her arm through his, as platonically as possible. They were always teetering on the edge of something more, but both of them were beginning to think that there something more had came and passed as fleetingly as Chuck and Blair could hold a relationship together.
"Well, it's oddly comforting that the couple voted most likely to get married in high school may actually make it." Nate sighed at her use of' may' and just smiled at her.
"I missed you too much." He couldn't help himself – just as he did to his fiancée a matter of minutes ago he pressed a kiss into Serena's head and before she allowed herself to react she greeted Vanessa Abrams, the woman who was the reason behind the gathering.
"Hey!" The greeting was stifled from Serena and Vanessa just said the same and they engaged in some beyond awkward embrace that really should not have come to pass. Nate did the same.
"Serena." A tone she hadn't heard in years gushed into her ears.
It was him.
"Daniel Humphrey." She beamed at him and his heartbeat fluttered as he allowed himself the onceover. She was wearing a white gown that reminded him of summer a few years ago. Her position beside Nathaniel helped with that, too.
They didn't hug. She didn't want too. They shook hands and Nate did the same.
Throughout their excuse for a conversation, Dan's eyes lingered on her longingly. There was a time when Serena felt exhilarated by it but his effect had faded much to her surprise. He was just Dan.
It was the same for Nate and Vanessa. Nothing was there – both relationships had been rendered dull. It was the moment Serena decided that you really don't marry the guy you date in high school.
Just you wait for it, S.
--
"Why did we come here again?" Serena whined as she and Blair waited on their car. The night had ended and they were making their way back to the apartment they had shared. The luxury complex was purchased when Serena signed her first endorsement with Chanel. It was utterly ridiculous that her celebrity status had came so quickly, but then again, Blair wasn't expecting anything less from the girl that was perfection on the outside, and the complete reverse on inside.
"You know how Nate is about Vanessa. They have a special bond or whatever." She dismissed.
Serena raised an eyebrow. "What?" Blair laughed.
"You're actually acknowledging it. Maybe you and Nate really are ready for this." She replied with a tone of realisation.
And regret.
Blair hated these Gucci heels. They only intensified how forced this conversation with someone who really should be her most confidant confident.
"And you didn't think we'd work before?"
Serena shook her head. "B it hasn't worked before. I love you both dearly but I just..."
Blair stared at her, silently demanding an answer.
"I know it'll work this time." She conceded, not meaning it at all.
"So do I." Blair nodded curtly.
No more was said, although so much more needed to be.
And for one more night, they let the charades continue.
Nathaniel and Blair needed to realise themselves before that maybe their relationship was the sole idea they had of what they could be.
Chuck and Serena spent the night hoping they'd realise what they actually were.
--
A/N: Chuck wants Blair, Blair wants Chuck, Serena wants Nate and does Nate ever know what he wants? I want reviews (: Tell me what you think. It's a future fic so don't worry, I'll fill in the blanks with flashbacks and such. For now though I just want opinions. Thank you for reading!
