She's Not Ready
It's not easy for her to admit, but it's true. She's not ready.
Not ready for the day her mom's murderer cuts a deal. A day filled with empty explanations mixed with words of comfort to the family. She does not ever want them said to her.
Not ready to risk her dad's sobriety. She has no idea why an alcoholic takes the next drink. She cannot be the one who gives him the reason.
Not ready to resist false hopes. The darkness of those years still haunts her at night. She accepts that some hopes must be avoided completely.
Not ready to remember what else she buried that day. Remembering gives life to regrets of the dreams she abandoned. She will not go back to believing that those dreams were given up for nothing.
Not ready to share her burden. Even if she tries, they will not let her do it alone. She worries she cannot protect them from their consciences if this murderer goes uncaught.
Not ready to let her mom down. The years have forced her to tolerate what she was unable to do for the one person she loved most in the world. She is devastated by the thought of failing her again.
And the hardest thing to admit…
She's not ready to trust Castle. She wonders when he'll be tempted by a new adventure, a new muse. She does not trust him to choose her.
She's not ready.
