Have you ever felt like you didn't belong? You have tons of friends, but none of them seem to know the real you. You try talking to your best friend about it but they never seem to truly understand. No one really understood, except him. The perfect Mr. Nice Guy (but only when around me), Mr. Rebel Without A Cause. But of course the "princess" is never paid attention to when she's crying out for help. Why should he pay attention when he's got her? The beautiful athletic girl. MY "best friend".

She knew, knows, how I felt, feel. But did she care? Did she?! No, no she didn't. People call ME selfish, but what about HER? She already had a guy crazy about her, but instead she chose him, my crush, my love, my first love.

How she stares at me when he embraces her, or when he kisses her…she knows what she's doing, but she doesn't care.

It wasn't always like this. Before, he was my best guy friend. He was the best, he was always there. A shoulder to cry on, my security blanket. He's seen me down, he's seen me at my worst, but he stayed by me all the time. You see he needed me there as much as I needed him.

But I don't know what happened, it started so suddenly. The feeling, of loneliness, and no one being there. The feeling of never being needed, just being a waste of space. I…I started cutting, wouldn't be the first time, but it had been two years since I had last cut. I just pushed everyone away. But he reached out, trying to get me out of the suicide bubble I had created. But he just stopped reaching one day leaving me in me in my wallowing by myself. I knew he wouldn't tell anybody what I was doing, and I was grateful for that-am grateful for that.

But when I had finally gotten out of my depression, I saw him, with her. My best guy friend with my best girl friend. The guy I've been in love with since we first met, and the girl I've known my whole life. At that moment I wished I could have cut myself deep enough—but I can't do that…I can't picture myself hurting my "best friend" like that. Even though she and him don't really need me around anymore, they have eachother.

What hurts the most is that I have to keep pretending, everyday. The guy that once was able to see through my mask and my perfected fake smile, doesn't seem so concerned anymore.

What they don't realize is how every time I see them together I have to smile forcefully and my heart breaks more, until one day I will die inside and leave nothing but an empty girl with a beautiful mask of a lie.


There revised :) So i know it's the same haha but i changed a couple of things, and fixed the grammer . i apologize for that, but i was typing without looking at the screenn, haha what can i say distractions? Well that and it was all in my head so i was rushing to get it all out there. So tell me what you think :)

ohh and before i forget! So many thank yous to M M Forever :) i enjoy your constructive criticism. Thank you for guiding me :)