Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me
Psalm 23:4
Truth stands out clearly from error; whoever rejects evil and has faith in God has grasped the most trustworthy, unfailing handhold. And God hears and knows all things. God is the Protector of those who have faith: from the depths of darkness He will lead them forth into light
Quran 2:256-257
If I am not for myself who will be for me? Yet, if I am for myself only, what am I? And if not now, when?
Hillel the Elder, Jewish Religious Leader
There certainly were different ways I envisioned myself dying.
Dealing with death, it was not unusual for me to wonder how I would finally meet my own fate. Would an assassin finally find the place where my protective armor ended? Would I underestimate the distance of a rooftop? Would my heart finally and randomly decide it was too tired to carry on the business of living?
I had not pictured my death to be an act of God.
I did not pretend to be a holy man. Throughout my life, God was an ugly and foreign word to me. I often shook my fist in the face of religious dogma. The fact that the angel of death should come to me in this way seemed laughable, ironic even.
I looked over at my wife, her serene face smiling slightly, her eyes lightly closed with the beauty of death. She could have been asleep.
A great light leapt off the walls, screams echoing from the dark chambers. Their voices caused the light to flare more viciously. My eyes hurt, my limbs ached. The salty, rusted taste of blood filled my mouth and I let it drip to the ground. Alms for the wrath of God. Libations for the anger of God.
Lying with my face down in the cool dirt, I allowed the tiredness to wash over me. My limbs went weak, my tendons and bones sore from the many months of this fight. And at the end of everything, I was happy to be here beside my wife. I was happy as I reached out my hand to her, taking her cold and stiff fingers into my own. I was even happy as I closed my own eyes, and allowed myself to slip away.
Here we go. A few years, a few stories, and a few drafts later I feel ready to begin again. Funny, I received an email yesterday asking me to continue the series. Little did everyone know, I had been planning this for a little while. This is the final installment and I am eager to lead you readers on a journey along with me.
Ready?
Deep breaths, everyone!
Briar.
