Chapter 1:

The familiar scent of his mother's garden, jasmine, rose and various colors of orchids, the cold metal bench I'm sitting on and the damp atmosphere in here. The chattering of the guest inside is unfailing and seems endless, I can't recognize the voices but I am sure I knew some of them and some of them knew me. I bowed down my head and I felt a couple of my locks fell on my face.

It's been a couple of minutes when Josh said he'll get me something to drink. I've heard many footsteps walked past me and how long do you need to get a drink in your own mom's birthday party?

I fiddled with my own hands and I get the feeling that he'll never comeback. I don't want him to be away from me but he always insists, and I can't resist him. He had helped me since. All my life I have known him. He's always there for me, holding my hand whenever I am scared or whenever I need someone to protect me. He is my living hero, a true gentleman and he says he loves me and I feel it. I just hope he can feel the love that I am giving him.

I can feel the sun fading and the smell of dusk filled the air, I can imagine the orange sky, so is the clouds and the big ball of light is half way down the horizon. Like our first date on a hill, where we ate lunch and talked about our true feelings for each other till the sun is gone. We stayed on that hill till the sun sets and I wish I could be there, but I'll never see the beautiful sight again.

The classical music continued to play inside and Josh hasn't comeback yet, I remembered when he was supposed to meet me in front of the school but it took him hours just to get there, I cried when I saw his face with blood and bruises. He got into a fight because a bully teased me. I was relieved to see him, keeping his word that he'll meet me there, but I hate to see him get hurt because of me.

I wanted to stand up and look for Josh but I can't he told me to wait here, and I don't want to be make a fuss of it. I stayed on my seat and I felt my spine shivers as I worry about him. I hate this, when I want to do something so bad but can't do it.

I heard a few steps on my left and I excitedly turned my head on its direction and the smell of roses lingered on my nose. The footsteps stopped and I ducked my head back down, if it is him, he'll be explaining why he took so long and I'll recognize his voice, and he'll give me his hand and my heart will start to hop around inside my chest. But it wasn't him. Where is he?

I heard a laugh inside the living room and I am pretty sure it's Josh's mom, it is her birthday and she have the right to be really happy. Footsteps are coming closer to my place and my heart already knows who it is.

The crunch of every step seems familiar and I turned to face him and I reached for his hand, he automatically gave me his hand, to reassure me that it is him. He started to say and explain why he took so long,

"Sorry, it was mom, she um, wanted to talk about something" his voice said. His voice is incomparable and it is the only voice I want to hear every minute of my life.

"It's okay," I gripped his hands, and he'll chuckle, I wanted to hit him and lecture him but I don't have the guts to do it, I love him too much. His mother doesn't approve of me since she knew about us being together, and of course she more disapproved when she heard the news.

Josh kissed my forehead and it felt good, I feel relaxed now and comfortable. He was my life since then. He knows me very well and I know him very well, he is with me every night, before I sleep, before I wake up, he'll be by my side, offering his hands for me to touch and hold on to. I can't imagine my life without him.

"Here have a drink." He gave me the glass carefully and I drunk from it. I held his hands tightly and I leaned on his chest. I always wanted to hear his heart beating, and I feel closer to him whenever I hear it. He will just lay there and support me.

"Josh," I called softly and I know that he is listening, he always listens. "Tomorrow, will you be there for me?" I asked and every time I ask this I always felt scared that he will not answer but he always does, that's why I love him so much.

"Amy, you know that I'll always be there for you," he hugged me tightly, and I felt his warmth passing through me, "tomorrow, and the next day, then the next day, next week, next month and next year. I'll always be there for you, forever."

His words are soothing and calming, knowing that he'll always be there for me. I miss his face, his perfect nose and his concern brown eyes, and his mouth. He has blonde hair, and perfect eyebrows.

Imagining his face, made me want to look at it so badly but I can't. I feel like my eyes are just closed and the endless darkness seems to eat everything in front of me, but even I open them, darkness, loneliness and sorrow fills my heart and mind.

Everyday darkness, and everyday loneliness, will I ever see the wonderful things around me again? Josh's face and my own reflection on a mirror, things supposed to be colorful and beautiful but I can only see plain darkness.

I can touch, smell, hear and think but I cannot see. I was a victim of an incurable disease. But I still consider myself lucky, having Josh beside me, and I know that he'll be with me forever.

Josh always drive me in my aunt's place, he always guide me in my room, help me to my bathroom, and put toothpaste on my toothbrush. He always helps me, even with little things. My aunt's still not home and Josh will volunteer to change my clothes. He does it often, and I don't care, I am his girlfriend and he is my boyfriend.

He will take off my top, and he will help me to put on another one. I will start to kiss him on his hands and he will gently kiss my neck and I will kiss him back. We're on my bed together, kissing, and it felt better, I don't have to open my eyes and see it, I only have to feel his soft lips pressing onto mine and until we will feel each other's warmth but I will break off.

"Josh," I will stop and grip his hands and wait for his reassuring answer. I am afraid that he's not gonna answer, but he always does, and but I can't stop worrying that he'll not answer.

"Amy, I'm here" He was breathing heavily and he will kiss my forehead. And I will feel comfort all over my body and I can't let go of him. "He will kiss again my forehead and hug me tightly.

I will never get tired of him, doing this every day and I just hope he won't get tired of me.

The door slammed open and we already know who it is. My aunt and uncle is arguing, again, they always do it every night and they will not stop shouting each other until midnight.

Again, I will hold onto his hands and askes, "Will, you be there for me tomorrow?", and he will squeze my hand and says,

"Yes,"

"Promise?" I said, gripping his hands tighter

"Promise." he said. and he will walk out the door while I worry about tomorrow and my auntie and uncle are fighting.