Author's note:
To everyone who has read any of my past stories for NGE, I'm tired of
avoiding this subject. This story will be straight up Rei/Shinji, and I'll
be damned if I have any more of this depression stopping me from writing
this.
-FPotM
Chapter One Can you save me?
(Violins...)
(Violins that play so beautifully...)
(Violins that play so beautifully...)
(Violins that play so beautifully at a funeral...)
(Can you hear it, First Child? As you pass by my grave, flowers still fresh on my headstone, please, stop and take notice of me. This violin that plays, it is for only you to hear...)
"Is this my purpose?" a soft voice asks, though there is no one to be found. No one to be found. No one to be found. How can there be when you are alone?
First Child. Ayanami. Pilot. Doll. There can be so many names for one person. How about monster?
Abomination?
Angel?
Lillith?
"Rei." she whispers. As if in a darkened stage, you could almost hear the curtains rise. "I am..." the spotlight is brought to life. "...Rei." Action.
***
A girl, a young woman drifting alone in a sea of black. "It's quiet." she says to herself. "It kinda is, I suppose." another voice replied. Rei turned her head. Below her, one Shinji Ikari looked up, a small smile playing upon his lips.
"Hello, Ayanami..."
Rei doesn't respond, only her eyes conveying any notice of the Third Child's presence. "Why're you way up there, Ayanami?" Shinji said, his expression one of mild concern. "I do not know, Shinji..." she replied, her face serene. But her eyes widened.
"Something the matter, Ayanami?" Shinji said, as though sensing something was wrong. "I referred to you as Shinji, Shinji." Rei replied, her brow furrowed, realizing that she just called the Third Child by his first name again. "That is strange, isn't it?" Shinji said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. Rei only looked on.
"It's almost as strange as you floating up there, and me standing in the dark, isn't it, Ayanami?" Shinji offered, scratching his head. "Yes. It is strange, Shinji." Rei said, her face still only that of slight annoyance. "Can you come down at least?" Shinji said, crossing his arms. Rei nodded, and she slowly descended, also taking a standing position as if she was suddenly on solid ground.
They stood there staring at each other, Rei's impassive stare against Shinji's tired smile. "So..." Shinji began, breaking the silence. Rei quirked her eyebrow. "Aren't you going to ask me what's going on?" Shinji continued. "Yes." Rei said, her face still calm, but her voice was laced with what passed as curiosity for her. "Then ask me a question..." Shinji said matter-of-factly, placing his hands in his pockets.
The First Child almost sighed in exasperation. Almost. "How was it possible that I achieved flight, Shinji?" Rei questioned in her soft voice. Shinji only shrugged. "Where are we, Shinji?" Rei asked. "I don't really know." Shinji replied, looking around them. "Can you answer any of my questions?" Rei said with finality, growing tired of Shinji's uncertainty.
"You're dreaming."
"Excuse me?" Rei said. "Shinji, I find my flying easier to accept than this as a dream." "Then do something that you would never do in real life." Shinji replied, shrugging once more, as if this was a common occurrence. "Very well..." Rei said, taking a deep breath.
Grabbing Shinji's arm, she pulled the pilot towards her. Wrapping one hand around the Third Child's torso and placing the other behind Shinji's head, she drew the Third Child's mouth to her own, pressing her lips onto his. 'So soft...' her mind registered. But more surprising, Shinji's own hand began to snake around her own waist, and she could feel Shinji's tongue starting to gain entry in her mouth. Suddenly, as spontaneously as it had begun, she let go of Shinji, her face tranquil once more. "I believe you..." Rei said simply, but it seemed her eyes were dancing in awe at what she had just dared to do.
"Heh, well that's good." Shinji said, his smile a bit wider. "May I ask another question?" Rei offered without being asked, another thing that would have been surprising in real life. "Fire." Shinji said, a little bit more at ease.
"Are you Shinji Ikari?" She asked.
The Third Child scratched his head. "Well in a way, yes and no." he replied, raising one hand. "I don't understand." Rei said, querying the young man. "Well, I'm the Shinji as you perceive me to be." Shinji explained. "But you did not act as the Third Child would." Rei countered. Even though she was not very good with emotions, she was fairly certain that if she had given a real kiss to the younger Ikari, he would react in a fashion quite opposite of the one she received. "Maybe I'm the Shinji you want me to be?" he said, looking upwards.
Rei was about to ask another question when she felt herself rising again. "Shinji, what's happening?" she said, only through sheer curiosity. "You're waking up." Shinji said. "Oh. Will I see you again?" Rei said as the black world started to fade into white. "Only if you want me to." Shinji yelled to the ascending First Child. "Goodbye, Ayanami..." he whispered as he waved goodbye.
Fin
Notes: Yes, expect another overblown psychoanalytical explanation from me for this chapter. An after effect of my slight depression from the past weeks, coupled with watching the Director's Cut of Eva, the opening sequence was a bit dark. Can you guess whose grave it was? After that, it takes a lighter shade. This is Rei's first dream, and it is quite empty, but nonetheless having exciting experiences. I don't think that it would be very strange for Ayanami to dream about Shinji, even if this wasn't a romance. There certainly is some sort of connection between him and the First Child, it's just a way of your interpreting their relationship. In any case, I've found out that people who prefer love over maternal instinct are a bit more optimistic, though the subject matter on which they are brought together varies from the mundane (swimming lessons, cellos) to the very dark (masochism, nymphomania). Well, it doesn't matter how they got together, the special thing about most R/S stories is that realistically speaking, Shinji's attitude towards the First is somewhere in-between strong curiosity to mild obsession and vice-versa. In my opinion, most of the time this hurts more than helps a relationship, but that just gives a reader a warmer feeling when these two crazy kids finally hook up. It's easier to write A/S because not only are the basic needs of human interaction for both children drastically heightened, but Asuka's overconfident exterior is easily broken to find a very vulnerable psyche that is easy for Shinji to take root in. This is not the case for R/S. Rei is more of an Estella character, having knowledge on love and caring and the like, but by having ice water being poured through her veins, she is rendered incapable of acting upon these impulses. It's unnatural for a person of this mindset to find any happiness through human interaction, but this is just the steep incline before you reach a mountain's summit. If you successfully overcome Rei's manner towards humans in general, you will find that the romance created to be precious. If Asuka is a rose grown from the harshest of soils, beautiful yet having the need to grow more thorns, then Rei is an orchid, living life of delicate balance, yet remaining one of the strongest and most elegant flowers in the world.
-FPotM
-FPotM
Chapter One Can you save me?
(Violins...)
(Violins that play so beautifully...)
(Violins that play so beautifully...)
(Violins that play so beautifully at a funeral...)
(Can you hear it, First Child? As you pass by my grave, flowers still fresh on my headstone, please, stop and take notice of me. This violin that plays, it is for only you to hear...)
"Is this my purpose?" a soft voice asks, though there is no one to be found. No one to be found. No one to be found. How can there be when you are alone?
First Child. Ayanami. Pilot. Doll. There can be so many names for one person. How about monster?
Abomination?
Angel?
Lillith?
"Rei." she whispers. As if in a darkened stage, you could almost hear the curtains rise. "I am..." the spotlight is brought to life. "...Rei." Action.
***
A girl, a young woman drifting alone in a sea of black. "It's quiet." she says to herself. "It kinda is, I suppose." another voice replied. Rei turned her head. Below her, one Shinji Ikari looked up, a small smile playing upon his lips.
"Hello, Ayanami..."
Rei doesn't respond, only her eyes conveying any notice of the Third Child's presence. "Why're you way up there, Ayanami?" Shinji said, his expression one of mild concern. "I do not know, Shinji..." she replied, her face serene. But her eyes widened.
"Something the matter, Ayanami?" Shinji said, as though sensing something was wrong. "I referred to you as Shinji, Shinji." Rei replied, her brow furrowed, realizing that she just called the Third Child by his first name again. "That is strange, isn't it?" Shinji said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. Rei only looked on.
"It's almost as strange as you floating up there, and me standing in the dark, isn't it, Ayanami?" Shinji offered, scratching his head. "Yes. It is strange, Shinji." Rei said, her face still only that of slight annoyance. "Can you come down at least?" Shinji said, crossing his arms. Rei nodded, and she slowly descended, also taking a standing position as if she was suddenly on solid ground.
They stood there staring at each other, Rei's impassive stare against Shinji's tired smile. "So..." Shinji began, breaking the silence. Rei quirked her eyebrow. "Aren't you going to ask me what's going on?" Shinji continued. "Yes." Rei said, her face still calm, but her voice was laced with what passed as curiosity for her. "Then ask me a question..." Shinji said matter-of-factly, placing his hands in his pockets.
The First Child almost sighed in exasperation. Almost. "How was it possible that I achieved flight, Shinji?" Rei questioned in her soft voice. Shinji only shrugged. "Where are we, Shinji?" Rei asked. "I don't really know." Shinji replied, looking around them. "Can you answer any of my questions?" Rei said with finality, growing tired of Shinji's uncertainty.
"You're dreaming."
"Excuse me?" Rei said. "Shinji, I find my flying easier to accept than this as a dream." "Then do something that you would never do in real life." Shinji replied, shrugging once more, as if this was a common occurrence. "Very well..." Rei said, taking a deep breath.
Grabbing Shinji's arm, she pulled the pilot towards her. Wrapping one hand around the Third Child's torso and placing the other behind Shinji's head, she drew the Third Child's mouth to her own, pressing her lips onto his. 'So soft...' her mind registered. But more surprising, Shinji's own hand began to snake around her own waist, and she could feel Shinji's tongue starting to gain entry in her mouth. Suddenly, as spontaneously as it had begun, she let go of Shinji, her face tranquil once more. "I believe you..." Rei said simply, but it seemed her eyes were dancing in awe at what she had just dared to do.
"Heh, well that's good." Shinji said, his smile a bit wider. "May I ask another question?" Rei offered without being asked, another thing that would have been surprising in real life. "Fire." Shinji said, a little bit more at ease.
"Are you Shinji Ikari?" She asked.
The Third Child scratched his head. "Well in a way, yes and no." he replied, raising one hand. "I don't understand." Rei said, querying the young man. "Well, I'm the Shinji as you perceive me to be." Shinji explained. "But you did not act as the Third Child would." Rei countered. Even though she was not very good with emotions, she was fairly certain that if she had given a real kiss to the younger Ikari, he would react in a fashion quite opposite of the one she received. "Maybe I'm the Shinji you want me to be?" he said, looking upwards.
Rei was about to ask another question when she felt herself rising again. "Shinji, what's happening?" she said, only through sheer curiosity. "You're waking up." Shinji said. "Oh. Will I see you again?" Rei said as the black world started to fade into white. "Only if you want me to." Shinji yelled to the ascending First Child. "Goodbye, Ayanami..." he whispered as he waved goodbye.
Fin
Notes: Yes, expect another overblown psychoanalytical explanation from me for this chapter. An after effect of my slight depression from the past weeks, coupled with watching the Director's Cut of Eva, the opening sequence was a bit dark. Can you guess whose grave it was? After that, it takes a lighter shade. This is Rei's first dream, and it is quite empty, but nonetheless having exciting experiences. I don't think that it would be very strange for Ayanami to dream about Shinji, even if this wasn't a romance. There certainly is some sort of connection between him and the First Child, it's just a way of your interpreting their relationship. In any case, I've found out that people who prefer love over maternal instinct are a bit more optimistic, though the subject matter on which they are brought together varies from the mundane (swimming lessons, cellos) to the very dark (masochism, nymphomania). Well, it doesn't matter how they got together, the special thing about most R/S stories is that realistically speaking, Shinji's attitude towards the First is somewhere in-between strong curiosity to mild obsession and vice-versa. In my opinion, most of the time this hurts more than helps a relationship, but that just gives a reader a warmer feeling when these two crazy kids finally hook up. It's easier to write A/S because not only are the basic needs of human interaction for both children drastically heightened, but Asuka's overconfident exterior is easily broken to find a very vulnerable psyche that is easy for Shinji to take root in. This is not the case for R/S. Rei is more of an Estella character, having knowledge on love and caring and the like, but by having ice water being poured through her veins, she is rendered incapable of acting upon these impulses. It's unnatural for a person of this mindset to find any happiness through human interaction, but this is just the steep incline before you reach a mountain's summit. If you successfully overcome Rei's manner towards humans in general, you will find that the romance created to be precious. If Asuka is a rose grown from the harshest of soils, beautiful yet having the need to grow more thorns, then Rei is an orchid, living life of delicate balance, yet remaining one of the strongest and most elegant flowers in the world.
-FPotM
