PROMISES REMEMBERED

Authors: Kailene & Jade_eyes

Timeframe: LOFT

Characters: Jag & Jaina (of course )

Genre: Romance Summary: Jag goes and visits Jaina after her battle with Caedus

Notes: If Denning had just added one more page. This has been bouncing around my brain for some time now. It made me crazy that after how hard Jag pushed Jaina to be ready for her battle and how close they had become, we didn't get one more scene with them together.

*This was my very first fic I wrote. The first part (Jag's POV) and the epilogue were done by me, the second (Jaina's POV) was done by Jade_eyes.

Disclaimer: Star wars and all character belong to George Lucas. Thanks for letting us play. Parts where appliable are taken from Invincible which of course belongs to Troy Denning.

A great big THANK YOU to Jade_eyes for giving me the push I needed to join the insanity and for answering the million questions I have asked. Your awesome!

ooooo

At this hour of the night, it was quiet. The only sounds heard were the beeping of monitors and the gentle whooshing of the bacta tanks. The quiet was welcoming and had a peaceful and almost calming effect on the man walking purposefully down the dimly lit corridors. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ease the knots out of his tired muscles and willing the stresses of the past weeks to go away. To say it had been a whirlwind week was the understatement of the galaxy. The search for Zekk continued. Jag was lending the Jedi as much support as he could spare. But with all the time that had passed, with no wreckage found and not even a whisper from the force, hope of finding him alive was starting to dwindle. Jag still held out for a miracle that the man he now thought of as a friend and comrade would still be found.

If someone had told him a year ago, kriff, even a few weeks ago, that he would be Head of State of the Imperial Remnant, he would have actually laughed in their faces. He shook his head at the direction his life had taken. Not too long ago, he was a bounty hunter, with no real future, helping where he was needed, not sure where he would go when the current "crisis" was done. And now look at him. He was beginning to think that the force had a sick sense of humor, and it was directed right at him. He took a deep breath, trying one of those Jedi Calming Techniques, that she had tried to teach him all those years ago. He smiled as more pleasant memories were brought to the surface. He didn't want to think about the Moff's, Daala, politicians, or peace conferences.

Tonight was all about her.

He turned down another corridor, finally coming to his destination. He stopped just inside the door to Jaina's private convalescence suite, and took a moment to just stand and stare at her. A part of him felt guilty for not being able to see her before this. He had made it a point, no matter how late the hour, to speak with Han or Leia daily to check on her condition. He knew that surgeries and bacta had healed the worst of her wounds, and just today, her burns had healed enough to finally release her from the bacta mist. She looked so peaceful sleeping there.

But looks can be deceiving, as the age old saying goes.

Her physical wounds might be healed, but he couldn't even begin to imaging the mental anguish that she was feeling. He had known that a confrontation with her twin had been inevitable. He was even the one that had pushed her to the edge to make her realize that she wasn't ready. That she needed to train more, harder. And he had spent the entire mission terrified.

He closed his eyes as the onslaught of memories threatened to overtake him. The most powerful ones forcing their way forward despite his best efforts to keep them at bay. He stopped himself this time, though, letting them come unhindered.

Sitting in the gun turret aboard the Millennium Falcon, he tuned out the comm chatter as only a seasoned pilot could do. Listening only to the voice of Han Solo, for any indication, any hint, of Jaina's status.

"Threepio, go load the baradium missle."

Jag's stomach clenched and, if it were possible, sunk even further. He didn't need to hear Threepio's response. He knew that that wasn't part of the plan. That something was desperately wrong.

"…If Jaina's gone, too, nobody who was part of it is leaving…"

He tuned Han's voice out. She couldn't be gone. Not now. Not after they had just begun to put the pieces back together. He would find her. Even if he had to fight his way through every inch of the Anakin Solo to do it. And he did find her. The image would be forever etched in his memory. Seeing her there, broken and bloody, cradling her twin's head in her lap broke his heart.

Time seemed to stand still and move in a blur at the same time. The images more like a holovid than his own memories. Fragments really. Elation at finding her alive quickly replaced by dread at the sight of her grievous injuries. Rushing to her side, only to be Force-hurled away for his mistaken intrusion. Her pain filled voice issuing instructions. Even now thinking of others before herself. Trying to keep the desperation out of his voice as he kept telling her to "hold on".

Above all of that, the memory that is the loudest, are her words for him.

"…For getting here first. Glad it was….you."

He was not one to believe that destiny was pre-ordained, but that every person carved out their own. Had this really been her destiny? Or could he have somehow changed it? Sometimes he wondered if he had abandoned his strict Chiss beliefs and revealed his emotions to her fully to see, would it have made a difference? If he had insisted, argued with her, for her to come to Csilla with him, could it have changed how their past had played out?

Since their talk on Endor, he came to realize one thing. He still loved her. If he really thought about it, and was honest with himself, he didn't think that he had ever really stopped. Even after everything; being on different sides of a war, Tenupe, and the entire Killik mess, he still wanted and needed her in his life. A long time ago, a lifetime it seemed, he made a promise to her in a little conference room. That he would never go away, that he would always be there.

Standing just inside her doorway, watching her sleep, he made a vow to never break that promise again.

ooooo

Jaina floated in a dense fog of semi-awareness. Memories and sensory images blended and flowed together in a tangled jumble. In all the mess, her turmoil of emotions made it so that she didn't know where or when she was.

She is running through a forested glade on a remote Hapan world with her brothers. They are young and carefree, on a rare vacation to visit Tenel Ka and her family on a brief holiday away from the Praxeum. The grass sparkles in the sunlight, and a crystal clear river runs nearby. The three of them, and Tenel also, are able to put aside their ever-increasing demands to be all that the adults demand of them, and they themselves … somewhat sensible and more than a little responsible Jedi learners … for this brief time, they're kids only. ~~

The loss of her brother Anakin tears at her in an agony that plunges her first into shock and denial then into soul-searing anger and sadness. Somehow, the pain makes the typical teen rift with her mother that much harder to endure on both sides, and yet explains it somewhat. It's easier to keep oneself at a distant remove emotionally. Less of a chance to be hurt. The grief of unendurable loss mixes with the guilt of knowing she should have somehow been able to prevent it. Though in later, calmer moments, she is unable to explain clearly what she could possibly have done to make the outcome any different. ~~

Watching Jacen slide downhill into darkness was a strange ethereal experience for Jaina. She had also gone on a dark journey but Kyp and Jag had pulled her back. Hers had been fueled by love and loss, Jacen's was motivated by something more sinister, a misguided, misdirected thought of bringing about the greater good followed by the avarice for power and dominance. When she'd had to take him out in that final duel, it had felt like someone had taken the light saber and ripped out the literal part of her heart and soul. They had been close as siblings and in the Force in a way no one could understand who did not experience it themselves. Even though her mother and uncle were twins, it was different for them. Close as they were, they hadn't been raised intimately together. ~~

Jag … through all the heart ache and confusion, he was like a beacon, a haven. That was another deep and unanswereagble riddle. How had she let him get away when he'd asked her to come away with him to meet his parents after the successful resolution of the Yuuzhan Vong war? It seemed strange that she couldn't have somehow had the ability to work a relationship with him into her myriad duties and new obligations. But that whole inscrutable spiel about being the Sword of the Jedi, and perhaps, a lingering sense of doubt of her worthiness to be so loved, made her push him away before he decided to walk away?

Of all her many regrets, she regretted their estrangement the most. Somehow, all her other trials and bereavements would have been eased with him by her side, she just knew. ~~~~

Suddenly, the flood of thoughts and memories ceased and Jaina became aware of her surroundings. She was in a med ward facility. She vaguely recalled her parents coming by daily to see her and other dear friends and family.

Somehow, she had had the dream that Jag had been there, but that was impossible!

Her eyes then opened only to find him by her bed, giving her a most urgent and tender look with those vibrant, though haunted, green eyes of his.

"I'm so glad you're here." She murmured in a low whisper.

His hand reached for hers. "Nothing would keep me away, Jay." He responded reaching for her hand.

Then, as if sensing the flow of some of her deepest thoughts, he continued, "And I won't let you keep me away again, this time. I'm not taking no or maybe for an answer."

She smiled weakly and her chocolate colored eyes warmed with the love that had never dimmed. "And you won't be hearing it from me, this time, either. I promise you that."

ooooo

The transparisteel felt cool against her skin at she sat in the alcove of Jag's private residence. Shortly before she was released from the medward, he had told her that anytime she needed, or wanted, a place to get away from everything and everyone, to consider the place hers. Almost a year later, she was still here. She had yet to return to the Temple, both she and her uncle had a lot of healing to do, and it was best done separately. It felt safe here. Not that she wasn't capable of taking care of herself, gods knew she was. This was an entirely different kind of safe. One that seemed to reach her very soul.

It gave her a feeling of belonging, of home.

Darkness had settled over Coruscant hours ago, but Jaina found sleep elusive. Nights, she found, were still the hardest to bear. It was the "what-if's" and the "should I have's" that ate at her soul. She was his twin. Bonded together since before birth. She, of all people, should have seen the fine line that he was walking, should have tried to get him to change his path. Done anything to make him realize that what he was doing wrong. They had always been there for each other, and she felt like she had failed him.

Silent tears fell from her eyes as she remembered happy times. His peaceful nature, love of animals and how he was always there to help out a friend. A quiet laugh sounded as she remembered his jokes, most of which were horrible, but had made her laugh anyway. And always his presence, intermingled with hers, giving her comfort and strength.

A sudden warmth, like a gentle caress, brushed against the bond that she once had with her twin. As suddenly as it was there it was gone, and Jaina questioned if she had even felt it at all. She closed her eyes and relaxed as a sudden realization struck her. Something she instinctively knew in her heart. That Jacen, her Jacen, would want her to go on, to be happy and live her life. Not live with guilt and regrets.

Jaina turned her head slightly at his approach. His presence supernova bright and etched with concern for her.

A smile graced her lips as she took in his appreance. The black silk lounge pants he wore hung low on his hips. Her eyes continued up his body, admiring his sculpted chest and well muscled abs. His hair for once, she noticed , was still mussed from their previous activities.

His gaze met hers and he smiled, that small smile he reserved for her alone. Even now, after all these years, it still had the ability to make her feel sixteen all over again. He slid into the alcove behind her, sliding her up onto his lap. Wrapping his arms around her petite frame, he placed a soft kiss along her neck.

"You alright?', he asked, concern coloring his voice

Jaina shifted in his lap to face him, the smile returning to her lips. Gazing back at her, Jag noticed that for the first time in a very long time, that the light in her brandy colored eyes had returned. The haunted and pained look was still there, but it had dimmed.

"Not yet, " she said kissing him gently, "but I will be."