6

Twas the night before Christmas

and all through the house

not a creature was stirring

not even a mouse.

Ok that was a lie. It was almost 2 in the morning and I could not sleep. Nothing I did helped. After an hour endless tossing and turning I finally decided that I was going to spare my wife of my restlessness and try to get some tea to calm my nerves. I don't know why I was feeling this way. Yes, it is Christmas eve but these weren't excited nerves, this was my anxiety again. Ever since I started having that dream where Titus shoots Lexa and there is nothing that I can do save her. Every time I try but I can never succeed. I wake up in a full on panic attack with Lex holding me telling me its ok. She doesn't know the nature of the dreams; she just knows that I'm having a dream that is taunting me. She thinks that they have stopped but, truth is, I haven't slept in days.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I heard a small voice come from the kitchen doorway. I turned around to Lexa standing in the door. I'm the only one who has seen Lex in this form. Her hair was down and slightly tussled from sleeping. She had on one of my hoodies that was a bit big for her figure and long on her arms; I could only see her beautiful fingers poking out of the sleeve, one of which held the ring that bound us in love forever. She didn't have on any pants; I could barely see her black lacey underwear from underneath the hoodie.

"Nothing is wrong sweetheart," I said taking a sip of my tea, trying to look casual. "Go back to bed I promise I will be in in a minute." I could tell she wasn't buying it

"Clarke, I know when something is wrong with you. I know that you haven't gotten more than two hours of sleep at a time in the past 3 weeks, I know that you have been falling asleep at the hospital and when you do you wake up you do so in the same manner as you do here at home, I also know that you have not slept in 2 days. I wish you would tell me what was wrong so I could help. In sickness and health, remember." Her green eyes bore into me. I will never understand how she always knows everything but I finally decided that I needed to tell her.

"I—I keep having this dream, where- Titus shoots you." I couldn't look at her. If I looked at her, I would see that bullet wound in her abdomen leaking the beautiful black color that is her nightblood and never get the rest out. "I try and save you but I never can… I can't save you Lex. I wake up and I can't breathe because I am afraid that it—that it might be true and I just…" A tear escaped from my blue eyes and Lexa was there in a second to wipe it away. I looked her in the eyes and more tears fell. "I can't live without you, not now that I found you. I can't…"

"Nugget, listen to me. I can't promise that I will always be here in the physical world because I know that one day my fight will be over, but I can promise this, that no matter what I will always be with you. My goal in life, is for you and I to grow old together and spend a lifetime creating memories. Focus on that. Focus on the good because, when one of us is gone, the other is going to want those memories. The times full of laughter" She kissed my cheek, "of joy" she kissed my other cheek, "and of love." We closed our eyes and kissed hard. I felt not only my warm tears but hers as well. How in god's name did I ever get so lucky?

She held my face in her hands and I put my arms around her neck and held fistful of her hair in my hands. I felt her lips pull up into a smile when I did. She forced me to backup into the counter and went deeper into the kiss. My mind started to blur like it always did when she kissed me this way. Her hands ventured from my face to the small of my back. She lifted up my black tank top and ran her hands lightly across my skin. Her touch was so soft it caused goosebumps to form all over my body. I lightly bit on her lower lip and that sent her over the edge. Her hand moved to my ass and she picked me up, our smooth legs grazed each other as she carried me to the bedroom and I knew she could feel how turned on I was through my grey panties.

We got to the bedroom and she dropped me on the bed placing one of her knees in between my legs never once breaking our kiss. I knew she could feel the warmth and wetness of my vagina. This is so not Lexa behavior. Normally I am the one who is heda in the bedroom but she didn't miss a beat. She pulled me to the center of the bed and pulled back from our kiss. I opened my eyes to see the softness of her face in the candlelight.

"Things are going to be a little different tonight, love. I'm going to fuck you so hard that there will be no room in your head for that nightmare. You told me that life should be about more than just surviving, that we deserved better, well you are going to get what you deserve tonight." I looked at her astounded. I have NEVER heard this kind of talk come out of this baby girls mouth. Her mouth twitched up into her sexy half smile and she raised one of her eyebrows slightly. She was so damn sexy that it scared me in a good way. I smiled.

She took my arms and placed them above my head. She kissed me slightly on the mouth before pulling away, making me chase her lips. She positioned herself over of my torso. I could feel the heat pulsing from her vagina on my stomach but, she was very careful not touch my skin. She let go of my hands and I moved them to touch her sides. She immediately moved them back, "Don't move." She said in a seductive tone. This was the hardest request she ever gave me. I longed for her to touch me but she would only get close enough for me know that a body part was there.

"Lex," I whined. I couldn't take it. I started to move my hands again but she caught them before they could make it to their destination. She slammed them back down on the bed and I gasped. She pulled my tank top up exposing my bare chest. I thought she was going to take it off but she stopped when the shirt covered my eyes. She made sure that I couldn't see.

"Every time you try to move, we start over" Lexa whispered in my ear in a seductive voice. I could feel her lips brush against my ear. "Understand?" She said letting out a small breath on purpose to make my toes cringe. I shook my head. "I can't hear you." She said a little more aggressively.

"Yes." I said with a shaky voice.

"Yes what?"

"Yes, my Heda" I said barley able to get out those 3 tiny words.

I couldn't see anything but I could feel her hands running less than a centimeter above my body at times grazing skin. She was so warm and I wanted nothing more than for her to fuck me or at the very least I would settle for her just touching me at the moment. It took everything that I had to stay still. She had me feeling things that I never knew I could feel and she hadn't even touched me yet.

"Do you want me to touch you, Clarke?" She asked me. Her mouth one again at my ear. Her whisper was so low that I could barely hear it myself. I could tell that her mouth was pulled up into a smile.

"Yes, Heda." I said back to her

"Beg me." She said, she let her teeth graze my earlobe. "I want to hear you beg, Clarke."

"Heda please." My voice came out in a high pitch squeak. "I will do anything that you ask of me. I beg you please, please," her tongue ran softly over my lips. I gasped and l couldn't say another word. A second passed and she pulled away and I whimpered. I heard her chuckle a little. "please Heda…. Please." My voice broke and I hit a decimal level higher than I ever thought my voice could go. "Please."

My cry's worked. Her tongue didn't return but, she ever so slightly touched my arm. Herr fingers ran up and down my skin that was coved in goosebumps when suddenly she dug her stubby nails into my forearm. I gasped at the sudden change of pressure, so hard that you have thought she plunged her fingers inside of me. She continued running her fingers on my arm and then proceeded to move to my other arm. I balled my hands into fists and my body started to shake. I was so erotically charged that I wanted to roll over on top of her and fuck her like there was no tomorrow.

"Don't move." She reminded me when she saw me shaking. How in god's name does she read my mind like that?! I refrained from moving. I remembered that she said she would start completely over if I moved and I don't think that my body could have handled starting over from the beginning. She moved down my face and lingered at my lips. Her lips touched mine softly and I could feel her breath in my mouth. She swept her lips across mine back and forth before biting my lip. She kissed me a little harder which was welcomed but instead of staying there she used her tongue and ran it down my chin placing small kisses along my neck as she moved down my body. She would occasionally scrape her teeth in between kisses but never in a pattern so I couldn't guess when it was coming. When she finished tracing my collarbone with her mouth, she moved down slightly still making sure that no part of her body was touching me.

By this time, I am dripping wet. She was killing me with these teases. I want her long fingers inside me so bad. "Please, Heda. I want you inside of me. Please…."

"Soon my dear one. Very soon." Her mouth brushed my nipple. Her warm breath making both of my nipples go rock hard. I sighed accompanied by an uneven whine. My toes curled and every muscle in my body flexed. "don't move my love"

Her mouth pulled away from my breasts and her hand lightly ran over parts of my skin again. Not this again I thought to myself. "What are you doing to me, Heda" my lip quivered as she dug her nail into me again.

"I am making you feel how I feel whenever you are in my presence. How even eye contact makes me want to throw you down on the bed and eat you for lunch. How when you ever so slightly brush against me, I want you to fuck me as hard as you can. This is what living feels like Clarke. This is what my love for you feels like." In that moment her mouth closed around my nipple. Her teeth pulled at it and I let out a cry. My back arched and I tried as quickly as I could to correct myself. "I'll give you that as warning, but move again and its back to ground zero." My face scrunched up in pleasure as she rolled my nipple in between her teeth. She then used her tongue and traced every part of my breast before moving on to the other doing the same exact thing. I cried out. I never felt so high in my life.

She spent less time on my second breast then she did on my first. When she pulled away I let out a whimper. She started using her hands again going down my stomach. Finally, I thought to myself. I will finally get to feel her inside of me. But, right as she got my pelvic bone she stopped and moved off me.

"Wait, Lexa… no please baby come back… come back, come back." Her mouth closed around my big toe and she scratched me from my knees down to my ankles. This woman is going to be the death of me. She sucked on every toe individually, running her tongue all the way up the length of my foot before returning to next toe. I couldn't hold it in my body was shaking. My grey cotton underwear was soaked with my fluids and was burning hot.

She finished with my feet and start running her fingers up my legs and on my thighs. She locked her arms around my knees and pulled me closer to her. My blonde hair tickled my nose but I didn't dare to move. She spread my legs apart and sat in between them. I heard a metal click but, I was still blindfolded and didn't know what it was that she had. Something cool touched my skin and it sent a shock through my body. I wished more than anything that I could see what she was doing to me.

But less than 5 seconds later I figured out what it was. The metal pulled at my pantie and I heard a rip; it was Lexa's butterfly knife. She. Is. Cutting. Off. My. Panties. I bit my lips so hard that it bled to keep myself from moving. Within a few seconds my panties where shredded and I was left lying there, exposed completely to the woman I love. I heard the knife clatter on the ground. She started with her fingers again running everywhere possible besides my vagina. I was so wet that I felt a spot forming on the bedspread. She pulled her hand away.

Her tongue swept across my opening and I swear I was seeing stars, more than I ever saw living in space. She licked me again and then caught my folds between her teeth. She gently rubbed them back and forth a few times before releasing them. She pulled away for a second and protested. I wanted her so bad.

I felt her breath for just a second before I was lost in ecstasy. She was sucking on my clit. She moved her tongue around the sensitive bead a few times and that was all it took for me to cum. My back arched and it just felt like the orgasm was never going to stop. 30 seconds past and she licked up fluid that was seeping out from deep inside me. I was almost down from my orgasm when I felt her long fingers inside of me. I gasped at the surprise.

"You didn't think that I was only going to let cum once did you?" She said as she placed her weight on top of me. she positioned her knee at my opening and started thrusting herself inside of me gently at first and then harder and harder until 3 of her entire finger lengths were completely inside of me. I could hear my wetness on her skin I could feel her wetness on mine ass well. She was dripping from her black lace panties onto my leg. That made my orgasm even more intense knowing that she was just as turned on as was. I fell myself flowing. I didn't think it could get any more intense until she curled her finger inside of me. I cried out so loud that I was afraid the guards would come in. I came for 60 seconds as least.

She pulled herself of me and licked me clean. She repositioned herself so that she was sitting on my pelvic bone, I could feel how wet she was. She took her clean hand and pulled my tank top over my head freeing my eyes from their dark prison. She looked 20x as beautiful as I remembered before we started. She took the finger that were covered in my fluids and licked them clean. Every drop. She then kissed me slightly on the mouth and reached up to grab my hands. She pulled the tank top off of them completely and pulled my hand in close to her. "I will always be with you" she said and I couldn't take it any longer!

I took her by the waist and flipped her over, kissing her violently. I pulled that sweatshirt over her head and took her entire breast in my mouth. She cried out. I pawed at the other one rolling her nipple between my fingers. She was so hard. I wasn't wasting anytime. I tore off her black panties with my bare hands and threw them out of my way. I pulled her vagina up to my mouth and ate her out in midair. Her shoulder blades an up were the only things on the bed. I took her bead between my teeth and rolled it back and forth and then flicked it with my tongue. One final flick and she came. I swallowed it all as if I were drinking a refreshing coke after a hard day's work.

I dropped her ass back on the bed and plunged my fingers Inside of her "CLARKE!" she screamed out in pleasure. She obviously did not care who heard her. She kept repeating my name as I went deeper and faster. I felt her folds contracting around my fingers and I knew she was almost to her breaking point. I curled my fingers with each thrust and she screamed at the top of her lungs in pleasure as she released. Her warm liquid filled in my hand and her body spasmed in my grasp. Her hands were tangled in my hair and I had fresh claw marks on my back. She took a minute to steady her breathing before embracing me in a loving kiss.

"I love you more than anything on this planet, Clarke. I hope you know that." She had tear in her eyes "I would be lost without you".

"I would be lost with you too."

We didn't bother getting dressed. We held each other tight not one of us looking away until the last candle burnt out. That night we slept in each other's arms and no nightmares or restlessness woke the other. We had become one soul in the form of 2 bodies on this now silent Christmas morning.