A/N: Hey! It's only a year and a half later, but I finished it!
I decided to rewrite some of it, and just make it one chapter, so sorry for the abrupt change of layout. But, I suppose most of you could use a memory refresher, so enjoy!
Anyhoo, this is my first Harry Potter fic and my second fic up here. Constructive criticism is welcome; just don't burn me down… actually, flame all you want if you feel the need. I would appreciate some reviews, so make sure you do that after reading! This story was based off of a random idea I had in the middle of the night…Oh well, sometimes crazy dreams are the best. But, here you go and enjoy!
Disclaimer- I don't own anything. Shocking, I know…
The Lions, the Witch, and the Broom Closet
Hermione crossed her arms as she walked down the corridor, reading a book in one hand and holding a bag of S.P.E.W pins in the other. She was the only one indoors, it seemed, since most of the school was outside. After all, it was the first day of spring and a Saturday.
But, she would rather be in the library, as always. The O.W.L exams were fast approaching, and Hermione wanted to take advantage of the empty library to study a bit while everyone was outside enjoying the warm weather.
Then, there was a sound behind her, and Hermione glanced over her shoulder. Fast approaching footsteps could be heard echoing off the walls or the empty hallway and she sighed. Apparently she was not the only one remaining indoors. Hermione quickened her pace slightly and went back behind her book.
The footsteps grew louder and Hermione looked over her shoulder once again. She started to hear voices and slowed her steps to pick up a few words. The book reluctantly dropped an inch below her nose, and she raised an eyebrow.
"That was brilliant Fred. Letting that niffler go in Umbridge's office."
"I know. What do you think she's going to do-"
"- with a five foot niffler destroying her office? Blimey George- she's getting closer!"
"How did she know it was us?"
"She's got all sorts of secrecy sensors all over her office."
"Aww, we're really in for it now! Come on George!"
Hermione sighed. The Weasley twins. She should have known. Hermione crossed her arms and turned around just as Fred and George rounded the corner. They were both laughing and running while looking over their shoulder, and one of them was clutching a small plastic bag. Turning around, Fred and George noticed Hermione for the first time, and they stopped dead in their tracks.
"Fred and George Weasley…" she said slowly, tapping her foot impatiently. "What on earth have you been doing?" she asked. They glanced at each other and grinned in the usual Weasley twin manner.
"Just having-" one of them said.
"- a bit of fun," the other finished. Hermione raised an eyebrow at them, and gave them the look that could get Ron and Harry to tell her anything.
"Alright, alright," Fred or George said, shrugging his shoulders. It was impossible to tell them apart, and Hermione wished they were wearing Mrs. Weasley's sweaters. Christmas time was the only part of year where she could distinguish them by the broad letters on their chests.
"We just let loose an enlarged niffler in Umbridge's office."
"Enlarged? That was a bit of an understatement. It was five feet long!" the other twin said.
"Oh yeah. It was rather funny, knocking over her desk and trying to bite off all of those ghastly rings of hers. Well, what's done is done, and if you will excuse us Hermione, we have an escape to make." Both twins looked rather pleased with themselves.
Hermione glared at them, her hands firmly planted on her hips. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Hermione- move! Umbridge is on a rampage!"
"A rampage you started!"
The footsteps behind Fred and George grew louder and they glanced back again with slightly worried expressions. Hermione still stood in their way, still tapping her foot.. One of them sighed loudly and looked to see if they could dodge around the witch, but the corridor was tight, and knowing Hermione, she would still report them.
"I'm a prefect, and it is my duty to report any misbehavior, even to a woman as horrid as Professor Umbridge."
"Hermione- forget the bloody rules for once and let us pass!"
Hermione paused for a minute. You have an almost perfect record, she told herself. No one will know. Just let them pass...…but what if someone sees you…you could loose your badge!
The loud footsteps of Professor Umbridge grew even louder behind them.
"Fred?" George asked.
"George," confirmed Fred.
"I think this calls for drastic matters."
The footsteps grew louder yet and the three of them heard a woman muttering loudly to no one in particular about 'whipping whoever put that blasted niffler in her office.'
The twins glanced and each other and then at Hermione. Her eyes grew wide.
"You wouldn't dare-"
"Sorry Hermione." The twins ran forward just as the shadow of Umbridge appeared in the corner. One second Hermione was gaping at the twins, and the next, George had picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.
She shrieked in surprise and tried to get back down to the ground, just as the twins began to sprint down the halls.
"GEORGE WEASLEY!- you are George right?"
The redhead who was carrying her looked up. "Yes, I'm George."
"Oh, okay. GEORGE WEASLEY YOU PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!" she snapped, smacking him in the back of the head. Hermione glanced down at the ground and stiffened: she was rather high up. The twins, in their last years at Hogwarts, had gotten quite tall. Hermione clutched onto George with all her might and glared at both of them.
"Sorry, Hermione. We just couldn't afford to be caught by that raving lunatic in her rampage-"
"-we would have gotten caught for sure if you had just stood there-"
"What other choice did we have?"
"You didn't need to force me to come along with you! Put me down!"
"Well, then you still would have reported us, and-"
"Hermione!" interrupted Fred, who running along side George. He reached into the bag he was carrying and began to rummage through it as Hermione stared at him.
"What?" she snapped.
"Have a marshmallow."
The next thing she knew, Fred had drawn a small white ball from the bag and shoved it in her mouth. Hermione gagged in surprise and momentarily paused to put a hand to her mouth.
"Good thinking Fred. That will shut her up for a while. Where'd you-"
"Nicked them from Umbridge of course."
Hermione spat out the marshmallow at Fred, who ducked to avoid being hit. She gave him her best glare, the one that usually sent Ron and Harry running.
"Don't you look cheery today Hermione?" Fred asked happily. She groaned in frustration and tried to get herself off George's shoulder. Unfortunately for her, George had a strong grip. Glaring at him once again, Hermione propped her head on her hands and feebly kicked George.
The two redheads slowed their pace and looked cautiously around the hallway.
"Do you think we lost her?" George whispered to Fred.
"I think so. Luckily for us, she can only waddle so fast."
A loud woman's yell interrupted Fred's comment and he winced at the noise. Apparently the five-foot niffler had gotten out of her office and was still trying to get the rings off her fingers.
"Blimey George! She must have gone the other way!"
George looked around wildly and Hermione hung on for dear life. "Quick! In here," he whispered.
George lifted up a tapestry to reveal a crude wooden door. Fred grabbed the handle and tugged it open before running it. George slid Hermione off his shoulder and grabbed her hand before running in after Fred. He pulled the door shut, and sighed in the darkness.
They were in a broom closet.
As soon as Hermione's feet touched the ground, she immediately tried to get away, but two pairs of strong arms held her back. It wasn't like she could run anywhere far anyway, between two seventeen year old boy, a couple of brooms and herself, Hermione barely had an inch of room to be in.
"Let me go!" she said in a deadly whisper.
"Shh! Umbridge could be right outside. Just wait till she's gone and then you can go-"
"-as long as you promise not to report us."
"Fred, I think we could use another one of those marshmallows right now."
"Sorry George. I ate them all."
"You ate a full bag?!"
"They're just so damn tasty! I'll nick another bag later."
"Fred, George, if you don't let me go right now I will scream bloody murder," Hermione hissed.
"Granger, why do you have to be so bloody difficult?" George whispered.
"I'm a prefect. And you're holding me against my will. And I'm going to scream." Hermione took a deep breath.
"Bloody hell," said Fred. And just as Hermione began to scream, Fred covered her mouth. With his.
Hermione gasped in surprise as Fred kissed her. She tried to pull away, but George was standing right behind her and naturally, it's pretty hard to not move when someone is right up against you blocking your way.
George covered his mouth and tried not to laugh, but even so she could feel his chest rise as he snickered. Hermione glared at him and tried to push Fred off of her. She struggled to breathe, as Fred was cutting off her air supply and she was sandwiched between the twins in the small closet.
"Okay Fred, you can stop snogging the poor girl now," he whispered. "I'm sure she's not going to scream. Right Hermione?"
Hermione tried to nod her head enthusiastically, but with Fred still snogging her, it was hard to tell whether she was nodding, or trying to shake Fred off.
Fred pulled away and Hermione wiped her mouth. "Well, that was uncalled for," she hissed. Fred shrugged his shoulders and grinned.
"Bet you've never been snogged like that before, eh Hermione?" he said. George doubled up with laughter.
"In this situation, no. Like that, yes."
"Aww I doubt it Hermione. That was probably your first snog." George said, still laughing.
"I have so been snogged before," she hissed back.
"Oh right. You've been snogged by Ickle Ronniekins, we forgot about him."
"I've been snogged by other people!"
"Like who?"
Hermione glared at the two redheads. "I'm not telling you." The twins glanced at each other.
"George?"
"Fred."
"I think that was her first real snog."
"Right."
Hermione opened her mouth to protest just as the twins froze. They put their ears to the door.
"She's coming!" George whispered in horror. Both of the twins backed up a foot to the wall and stood as still as they could. Hermione, who was sandwiched in between them, was dragged back as well.
She heard loud footsteps growing closer and a voice that was definitely Umbridge's. Hermione leaned forward a little bit to see if she could escape the twin's clutches, but they pulled her back, At the same time, two hands went over her mouth and two other hands pinned her against the wall of the broom closet. She rolled her eyes.
They stood like that for a couple of minutes while they listened to Professor Umbridge waddle by, still muttering about whipping whoever put that blasted niffler in her office. The air became silent again, and George leaned forward to the door.
"I can't hear anything," he whispered. "Do you think she's gone?"
"Most likely," Fred whispered back. They released their death grip on Hermione and she stumbled a couple of inched forward.
"Can I leave now?" she asked crossly.
"Are you going to go report us?"
"NO," Hermione said instantly. She didn't want to be stuck with Fred and George for any longer than she needed to.
"Promise?" George asked
"YES," she snapped.
"Say it." Fred demanded.
"I PROMISE I WON'T REPORT YOU TWO-" she hissed.
"Or say anything to anyone-"
"OR SAY ANYTHING TO ANYONE-"
"Until we say so."
"UNTIL YOU SAY SO."
"Alright then. Fred, lets get out of here. We might be able to let a few fireworks off in the dungeons before dinner."
"Right," Fred replied. He grabbed the handle of the door and turned it. Nothing happened. Fred paused and tried again. The door didn't open. He grabbed the handle and shook it ferociously.
The door didn't open.
"Err, George?" Fred said, turning away from the door.
George stared back at him. "Don't tell me."
"The door's locked."
Hermione took a deep breath and tried not to scream. "Fred, move aside," she said calmly.
Fred hastily took a step backward and stumbled over a broom, knocking over George in the process. They both crashed into the brooms in the corner with a loud crash. Hermione rolled her eyes and whipped out her wand. The sooner she was out of here the better.
She faced the entrance and flicked her wand at the stubborn door. "Alohomora!"
Her wand issued a large squeak and turned into a rubber parrot. She turned around and glared down at the Weasley twins, who were struggling to stand back up, hitting their heads in the process.
"Honestly. Give me back my wand," she demanded.
"Right. Sorry Hermione, it was just the perfect opportunity…" She glared at Fred and he reluctantly took out her wand from his robes. She snatched it from his fingertips, and faced the door again.
"Alohomora!" This time her wand turned into a large plastic fish. Hermione groaned and turned around. Both of the twins were grinning. She took another deep breath.
"FRED WEASLEY YOU GIVE ME BACK MY WAND THIS INSTANT OR I WILL HEX YOU FROM HERE TO DIAGON ALLEY!" she yelled. Hermione took the large fish and smacked him on the head with it, which caused George to burst out laughing again. She glared at him and whacked him on the shoulder.
"Ow. What was that for?" George asked ruefully.
"See George?" said Fred, who had also started to laugh, "good thing I nicked her wand when I did. She's a madwoman, hitting us poor defenseless students with a bloody herring."
"Give me back my wand."
"Promise you won't hex us?"
"Yes."
"Here you go Granger." He held out another wand and Hermione quickly took it. She flicked it in the air and pointed it at a broom propped in the corner.
"Evanesco!" she said and the broom disappeared. "Good. It's my wand."
"No. Really?" said George sarcastically. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Thank goodness I can leave now. Alohomora!" Hermione tried the handle. The door was still locked.
Half an hour later, they were still crammed in the broom closet. Fred and George were lazily sprawled on the floor, comparing the objects they had stolen from Umbridge and laughing. Hermione was out of breath and glaring at the door with all her might. Her hair had come loose and was wildly flying around her head as she pounded her fists on the door.
"Why won't it open?!" she moaned, pounding her fists harder before collapsing against it. "I've tried every spell I know and it won't open!"
"Maybe the door doesn't like you," George said, tossing a pack of cards to Fred. "I certainly wouldn't like you if I was that door,"
"Yeah, considering you've beaten it half to death," finished Fred. He examined the cards before putting them in a pile at his feet. "Maybe if you ask it nicely-"
"I'm not going to speak to the bloody door!" she snapped back at them. Hermione groaned in frustration and slid down to the ground, placing her head in her hands. "I'm sure to fail now…" she muttered, seemingly on the edge of tears. "I'll never be able to pass the O. if I can't even open a bloody door! I'm hopeless! I…I'll never get a job, and I'll end up as one of those hags selling …selling things on the corners of Diagon Alley!"
"Well, that is the world's oldest profession," Fred said, with a grin on his face. "I mean, I know you like your history of magic and such. It would suit you so well. But when you do, make sure you let me know, and I'll make sure to come-"
"I didn't mean that!" she wailed angrily, throwing the rubber fish from before at him. "You dirty minded git! I didn't mean that kind of hag!"
"I don't think you should do that either," George said seriously, looking over the back of a small sneakosnope. "You're much too violent. I mean, I know some like it rough, but you would really be dangerous-"
"Shut up!" she screeched at them, kicking George in the leg. They both burst out laughing at her obvious distress, and Hermione groaned again.
"Cheer up Hermione. We were only joking. Besides, if you really need a job, George and I will consider letting you work for us-"
"-minimum wage and such, but still, I'm sure there'd be time for advancement in ten years or so-"
Hermione sighed angrily and crossed her arms. "Do you two ever take anything seriously?" she asked coolly.
"George?"
"What?"
"Do we?"
"Nah. Pass me that lace kitten. It looks absolutely horrid."
Hermione groaned and leaned back against the door. "I'm going to die in here…" she muttered under her breath. "It'll be hours till someone will have the sense to look for us!"
"Say Fred, didn't we lock Lee in here during our first year?"
"Bloody hell, you're right. No wonder he was so angry at us!"
"How do you think he got of here?"
"Obviously someone let him out, can you honestly be that thick?" Hermione snapped. Fred stuck his tongue out at her while George rolled his eyes.
"Honestly Hermione, you need to learn how to relax. See Fred and I? We could care less that we're trapped in here. You on the other hand…Well, you're-"
"-a bit mental?"
"That's the word. I was looking for. Mental. You're a bit mental!"
"It's hard not to be when you're locked in an enclosed space with the two of you!"
"Well, if you just learned to-"
"-relax a bit, I'm sure you would be much less violent and mentally unstable."
"So says the ones who are wrecking havoc with nifflers in the castle! I am not mentally unstable!"
"So says the witch who would rather spend all her free time in the library than outside with her friends."
"George, what friends? With this attitude, I'm starting to think Ickle Ronniekins only hangs around her to-"
"-get homework?"
"Actually, I was thinking more on the terms of snogging."
"Ron and I do other things besides snogging!" she shouted angrily. "That's only a part of our-" Hermione stopped and suddenly slapped a hand over her mouth.
"Oooh," said George, a wide grin on his face. "I guess you weren't her first snog, Fred."
"Aw, hell," Fred replied mournfully, but with a grin on his face. "Ickle Ronniekins beat me to it. Well, I'm sure that was her first real Weasley snog, since Ron doesn't know a thing about snogging. Actually, I'm pretty sure Percy taught him…Maybe that's why Percy's never had a girlfriend!"
Hermione groaned and slumped over in the corner as the two twins burst out laughing. Her cheeks were bright red, and she began to mutter curses angrily to herself. She considered putting them both in a full body bind, but then they wouldn't be much help in trying to get out.
Fred and George went back to sorting their stolen goods, and Hermione crossed her arms. There had to be a way out. She was sure loads of kids over the years had gotten trapped in here for one reason or another, and they had all obviously escaped. Hermione assumed someone had let them out.
But most of the castle was outside, and Hermione didn't know how many people regularly traveled the hallway they were in. It was pretty distant.
Well, that left only one thing to do. She turned around, faced the door, and then began pounding her fists on them with all her might.
"HELP!" she screamed through the wood, in hopes of having a random passerby hearing her. Fred and George both groaned and covered their ears before throwing things at her.
"Hermione! Bloody hell! Shut up!"
She ignored them and kept pounding, though her hands were already tired. It wasn't until the rubber fish hit her in the back of the head that she stopped and whirled around on them.
"Honestly! Cut it out! I'm trying to get us out of here, if you don't mind!"
"What's the rush?!" George asked, throwing a horribly mutilated lace animal at her. Hermione grabbed the closest broom to her and whacked it away. The lace creature flew off course and smacked Fred in the face, who was holding what looked like a small rocket. He yelped in surprise and dropped it.
Hermione saw a few sparks in the darkness before George yelled and tackled her to the ground. She let out a shriek of protest, but she couldn't hear her words, since the broom closet was filled with the deafening roar of fireworks.
The firework Fred had dropped exploded in a bright flash of colorful sparks, then began to ricochet off the walls of the closet. Hermione could feel the floor vibrating as the firework, having no place to go, continued to crash into the walls and the brooms with colorful displays of light.
The noise and lights seemed to take forever to die out. Hermione closed her eyes and cowered under George and Fred, praying that she would live to get out of the closet. With a final squeak, the burnt out rocket floated down to the floor and didn't move again.
Fred rolled off of George and sat up, looking around the damage to the closest with a grin on his face. His hair was sticking straight up and slightly singed, along with a few black smudges on his cheeks from the rocket.
"Bloody. Hell. That was wicked!"
George scrambled off of Hermione and accidentally pressed her face into the floor while looking around at the marks the firework had made. His hair and face was in the same manner as Fred's, and as he got to his feet, he began to brush ash off his rumpled clothes.
"Brilliant as always, Fred! Nicely done!"
Hermione, still facedown on the floor, groaned and made no effort to get up. Her hair was flying out in all directions, and she was slightly sore from George's tackle. After a few moments, she slowly rose, a murderous expression on her face.
The twins, upon realizing she was capable at that moment to brutally murder both of them, backed into the wall. She advanced on them, her mouth set in a thin line and wand pointed out in front of her.
"Alright, alright, Hermione, calm down! We didn't mean to do that, right George?"
"Honestly Hermione! Watch where you point that thing! If you need to blame someone, take Fred! He's the one who set it off!"
"Some twin you are, George! OW! Hermione, calm down!" At that moment, Hermione had japed her wand painfully into Fred's stomach, who raised his arms in surrender and grinned back down at her. From behind him, George started laughing, and Hermione whirled on the both of them.
"I've had enough of you two!" she shouted angrily at them, prodding Fred harder with the wand. "You two are by far the most immature and juvenile people I have ever met! First you kidnap me, hold me against my will, harass me, and then you pull a stunt that could have nearly gotten us killed!"
Fred glanced backwards and George and the two nodded covertly. Hermione, caught up in her rant, didn't notice.
"You expended my patience long ago, but I managed to contain myself until now. HONESTLY! How old are you?! Seven or seventeen?! You're supposed to be setting a good example for anyone younger than you, and here I am, lecturing you on your supposed maturi-"
"NOW!" George shouted. He and Fred charged forward at her, and Hermione let out a very feminine, and un-Hermione like shriek. Fred pushed her into the door and tried to hold her there, while George went straight for her failing hand with her wand.
"Get off of me!" she shrieked, attempting to kick Fred and keep her wand away from George at the same time. "Get off! I'll curse you with every bloody hex I know-"
"That's what we're trying to prevent, 'Mione!" George grumbled, while trying to get a hold on her failing arm. "Hold her tighter, Fred!"
"It's harder than it looks! You want to do this?!" Fred stiffened slightly and contained his pain as her knee almost hit him in a not so nice place. "Hermione! Calm down!" He grabbed her shoulders and held her securely against the door as she tried to cast a spell with her wand in the other hand.
"Wingardium leviosa!"
The nearest broom in the corner rose and smacked George squarely in the back of her head as Hermione flicked her wand towards him.
"Bloody hell, Fred! You're supposed to keep her from talking! She's going to ambush me before I can even get near it."
"What am I supposed to do?! I have to keep both hands on her, otherwise she'll kill me!"
"Well, just do something! Before she casts another-"
"Wingardium-"
"Flipping heck Granger! Sorry!" And without waiting for a response, Fred bent down and covered her mouth just in the same way that he had before: with his.
Hermione let out another shriek, however, this one was rather muffled. She stiffened for a moment in surprise from Fred, and George took the opportunity to wrench her wand away from her hand. Hermione yelled again in protest and tried to grab it, but George held it triumphantly above his head.
It wasn't like she could have moved far anyways: Fred was still persistently keeping his mouth on hers and holding her against the door. Every few seconds, he glanced backwards at George for a signal that he could release, but from his angle, it was hard to tell.
"Fred! I've got it!" he exclaimed. "You can-"
But before he finished, sounds of activity could be heard from the other side of the door. Within a second, the door swung open and filled the tiny space with light.
Hermione and Fred, who was still snogging her, had placed all of their weight on the door, unaware of the sudden opening. And now that it was removed, he toppled forward with Hermione, who crashed to the floor on her back with a loud screech.
She crashed roughly onto the stone floor with Fred still on top of her, who made no effort to move. Hermione groaned and blinked open her eyes to see a familiar freckled redhead and a boy with black hair and glasses staring down at her in confusion. Hermione's eyes widened in horror.
"Fred, get off of me!" she hissed, and the twin groaned lazily before rolling off of her and landing on his back. His eyes slowly opened, and he grinned as he saw his younger brother staring down at him with murderous eyes.
"Why if it isn't Ickle Ronniekins!"
George came sheepishly out of the closet holding Hermione's wand and his assortment of stolen goods in his arms, and Hermione clambered to her feet. She snatched it from him and glared at the grinning redhead.
She turned on her heels, only to bump into a rather angry and confused looking Ron, who was staring down at Fred in a manner that would have made Hermione proud. But only if she wasn't this irritated.
"Hermione…" Ron said slowly, his face bright red now. Hey, it wasn't everyday that you heard fireworks going off in a closet and opened it to find your girlfriend and your older brothers engaged in some rather…interesting activity. "Want to tell me what's going on here?"
"Ron, it's not what it looks like," she said quickly, trying to come up with an explanation. "Fred and George…They…I was just, I mean I-" Hermione suddenly felt an arm slide around her shoulder, and she looked up to see Fred with a mischievous grin on his face.
"Sorry, Ronniekins, Hermione decided that she's going to be with me now, seeing as I am possibly the only member of the Weasley family who properly knows how to snog! We've already had a great start, haven't me, 'Mine?"
By now, Ron's face had gone from a deep shade of red to a mollified purple as he gaped at the two of them. Harry looked from George to Hermione, to Fred, to Ron, and then back to Hermione again. In the meantime, Hermione's mouth had fallen open from shock as she tried to think of someway to explain.
"FRED WEASLEY, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" she finally snarled, whirling on him with her fists wailing. He grinned before getting smacked in the gut as Hermione threw herself at him with her hair flying.
"Run George, she's a bloody madwoman again!" he shouted. The two twins leaped into action in their usual Weasley-twin-like way, and made to run down the hallway. Hermione was left steaming in their wake as the two stopped at the end of the hallway and turned around.
"Lovely time with you, Hermione!" Fred called, his grin bigger than ever. "We'll have to do it another time, perhaps on slightly different circumstances!"
George blew her a kiss and made a loud smacking sound with his lips before grinning at them one last time and disappearing around the corner.
"Look Fred! Our niffler came back!"
Hermione screamed and threw up her hands in frustration as she stalked away from the scene, leaving Ron and Harry staring after the twins with blank looks on their faces. She glared at the broom closet before crossing her arms and walking stiffly in the opposite direction. Hermione failed to notice the plastic fish left on the floor and in one swift move, found herself face down on the cool stone.
"…'Mione? You alright?" Harry called from behind her.
Hermione twitched and didn't answer. Those two are going to get it…
Fin
