"Stalin has already tried to take over the world," Günsche informed everyone as the squad stood outside of the bunker, their hair ruffling in the wind and their eyes focused on a plane in front of them. "We must stop him."
"And we will," Hitler snapped, stopping at the edge of the bunker's door. The artillery strikes snapped by Stalin's rabid followers were growing increasingly close to the bunker. Thankfully, the bunker was too well protected to be hurt, but that didn't mean Hitler or his entourage couldn't be harmed.
Hitler drew in a gasp of shock, seeing ashes and cinders spewing violently as an artillery bullet fired towards them. Krebs stared up in horror before pushing Burgdorf to safety and shielding him. Hitler gestured at Jodl, who grabbed Günsche, the youngest member of the group and one of the strongest, and shoved him closer to the circle. Goebbels ducked behind Jodl, while Fegelein only crossed his arms and watched the bullet. The entire bunker group tightened together, watching the bullet. The artillery bullet missed them, but only by a whisker.
After a few minutes, as the group remained in a circle, the artillery died down to the point of complete and utter silence. Slowly, the bunker's inhabitants inched across the bunker's field, towards the Luftwaffe in the distance. Krebs was herding Burgdorf with his hands on his broad shoulders carefully, the two staying very close together. Hitler watched them. The two were inseparable, and it was actually pretty gay, but Hitler didn't do anything about it, due to it being true love. Jodl and Fegelein gathered around Günsche, protecting the youngest member of the group - and Hitler's adjutant. Goebbels carefully paced around the group, narrowing his eyes against the battle stained field.
When they reached the Luftwaffe plane, Hitler halted, breathing heavily. "Are we all here?" he demanded. "Retarded minions?"
"I don't know where Skeletor is," Jodl pointed out, glancing around. "He was behind me a few minutes ago."
"Here." Goebbels stepped forward. "I am here, my dear Führer! I was scanning the bunker. No signs of any soldiers."
"Good." Hitler looked up, studying the broken clouds that littered the ash stained sky. "Can any of us fly a plane?"
His minions exchanged uncertain glances, before Fegelein stepped up, his eyes glowing with the prospect of adventure. "I can do it."
Hitler gulped. Fegelein was apart of the bunker, but he was also Hitler's arch enemy, committing constant antics on him. But Fegelein was smart, and Hitler needed him for certain operations. "Fine. Do not crash us."
Fegelein flung the last words over his shoulders as he ran towards the Luftwaffe. "I won't."
Hitler glanced at Jodl. Ash stained his bald head and his Wehrmacht outfit. "Jodl, what the fuck have you done with your shiny bald head?"
"It's not my fault!" Jodl protested.
"Clean it!" Hitler snapped.
Goebbels blinked apologetically at Jodl as Jodl swept his hands over his artillery stained head. Jodl huffed, glaring at Hitler after his head started to shine once more. Hitler turned around, stifling a chortle of laughter.
The engines of the Luftwaffe started to rev. Hitler gestured to his minions, feeling a sense of closeness to them while he planned to save the world. His friendship with his minions was somewhat complicated - he truly valued them and thought of them as his brothers, his family, and he knew that his friendship would them would never falter. But he did yell at them quite often, and show the impression that he hated them as he tossed cruel words and constant rants towards them. He knew his harsh words weren't true, and so did they. "I still hate them," he muttered under his breath as he followed Goebbels into the Luftwaffe. "I do." But a nagging feeling told him that he had a brotherly relationship with them, and that he couldn't truly hate them.
The interior of the Luftwaffe was more cramped than the bunker, but there still was enough space for Hitler and his colleagues. Krebs sat on the left couch, while Burgdorf headed towards the Luftwaffe's table of drinks.
"Dammit, Burgdorf!" Hitler exclaimed. "Can you not go a minute without booze?"
Burgdorf's voice echoed from the table. "No, I can't." He came back towards Krebs with shot glasses and a bottle of booze, pressing next to him. Günsche sat farther off, while Hitler, Jodl, and Goebbels took the other couch.
The plane started to tremble. Hitler dug his fingernails into the couch as he felt the Luftwaffe taking off. The wind roared in his ears as the airplane hovered off the ground, and started to take on more speed as it hurried towards the sky.
As the plane began to stabilize, Hitler rose to his feet. "I'm going to check on Fegelein," he announced.
"Careful," Goebbels warned him. "Fegelein might use that trick on you he did in Japan."
Hitler snorted. "I won't let him suck me into the toilet again, Skeletor."
"You said that last time," Jodl pointed out.
"Shut up." Hitler turned away and headed towards the cockpit, where he spotted Fegelein's broad shoulders outlined against the pilot's seat. His head was bent and focused on the controls, and he didn't raise his head when Hitler walked in.
"How long until we're in America?" Hitler questioned, feeling his heart lurch. Is … is what I'm about to do right? Is this a huge mistake? Am I really right to interfere with another country's problems?
Fegelein looked up, furrowing a brow. "If I can pick up the speed to avoid the artillery fire, it could be about an hour," he answered.
An hour? Hitler gave him a hard stare. "No antics!" he snapped.
The gruppenführer turned away. "For now," he replied smoothly.
As Hitler trekked back towards the center of the Luftwaffe, Krebs looked up from where he was sitting. "How long did he say?" he inquired.
"An hour, fishman," Hitler responded.
Günsche lifted his chin. "Is that it?"
"An hour is fine, stupid giant," Hitler growled. "You'll be fine. You've got tons of stuff to inform us about, no? Jodl objects to everything, so he'll be okay. And the map pervert should be fine. He has Burgdork with him. You all should be okay." He flopped on the couch next to Goebbels, and yawned.
Burgdorf's head was on Krebs' shoulder until he raised it to gaze at Hitler. A look of disappointment spreaded across Krebs' face as Burgdorf got off him. "We need a plan," he suggested. "A plan … to stop Stalin."
"He is currently trying to take over the world," Günsche informed them.
"I know that, you stupid giant," Hitler snapped. He turned to Burgdorf. "Fegelein is taking us to the White House, where he is currently stationed. Fegelein's antics ways will help us. But you are right when you say we need a plan."
"So what is it?" Jodl asked. "Is it terrible - like all your other ones?"
"Don't you dare object to this plan," Hitler snarled at Jodl. He looked around, examining the people around him. Günsche was tall and strong - Hitler would need him. He glanced at Krebs and Burgdorf. They both were broad-shouldered, muscular, and powerful, while Goebbels was skinny and Jodl was somewhat chubby. Fegelein was also powerful - but he couldn't have four people with him at the same time. "We will infiltrate the White House. We will slink in through the bushes and the fences. We will be together. Günsche, Fegelein, and I will be one group. Krebs and Burgdorf will be partners. Skeletor, you and Jodl are a team. The stupid giant, the antics master, and I will head towards the Oval Office. Fegelein and Günsche must protect me as we head there. They are both strong, and will fight any guards that dare interfere with our plan. Krebs and Burgdorf, you will find Stalin's guards, and disable them. Jodl and Skeletor, you will find the center where Stalin controls his planes and weapons, and you will turn off the button that gives it power. Your groups will meet up in the center of the house and free Obama from his prison."
"But what is your plan?" Krebs pressed. "Will my fish be needed for this?"
"Your bloody fish will not be needed," Hitler growled. "I must kill Stalin and put Obama in power."
"I'm in," Krebs told Hitler. The light of battle shone in his eyes. Burgdorf nodded his agreement, and went back to resting his head on Krebs' shoulder.
"And you, my half dead friend?" Hitler turned to Goebbels.
"Of course," Goebbels replied simply.
"So am I," Jodl added. "I have no objections."
"I will be in the plot," Günsche informed Hitler. Hitler glanced around at his bunkermates. He couldn't imagine this operation with anyone else.
Fegelein's shout echoed from the cockpit. "Me too!" Fegelein! He hoped he had the strength to deal with the antics master. He knew he needed him on this journey for it to be successful.
Hitler sighed. It would be a long time until they landed. Closing his eyes, he rested his head against the couch and let sleep crash over him.
A loud voice rang through Hitler's ears. "We're landing. Strap yourselves in!" Hitler lifted his head groggily, looking out the window. The sun had already set, and the stars were starting to appear in the dim sky.
"He means it!" Burgdorf yowled, buckling himself in. Hitler buckled his seatbelt, followed by Günsche and Goebbels. The Luftwaffe trembled before it suddenly picked up speed. Hitler's ears popped as the plane streaked towards the States. Hitler glanced out his window, gasping. Sights flew past his eyes. The White House was in view. It was larger than Hitler ever imagined, with sleek, shining white walls and a vast, trimmed garden, dotted with lilacs and daisies. Several guards stood outside of the fences, but Fegelein was doing a good job of avoiding them with the Luftwaffe. The Luftwaffe started to slow down until the ground rumbled underneath them. Fegelein pulled the controls of the cockpit and stopped the plane.
"We're here!" Fegelein shouted. He walked towards the center of the plane, nodding to Hitler, who was still stumped by the ferocity of the landing. "I heard the plan," he said. "I'm in."
"So … we all know what to do?" Hitler inquired, recovering from his initial shock. Nods came from the officers, and Hitler grunted. "Let's go."
Hitler silently took the lead as he slithered out of the Luftwaffe, with Günsche and Fegelein behind him. He worked his way around the fence, noticing several gaps in them. He examined them, trying to look for one that would fit a human. "These must be from bombs," he muttered to himself. Towards the edge of the White House, a large human sized hole gaped in the fence. Hitler squeezed himself through, the rest of his followers behind him.
"Back door," Burgdorf advised in a low voice. Hitler acknowledged his advice with a brisk nod, and slunk slyly through the garden until he reached the back door of the house.
"The security is pretty lanky since bin Laden took control," Goebbels observed.
"Silence," Hitler hissed before jiggling the handle on the back door. "It's open." He turned to face the others. "Do we all know what to do?"
Krebs nodded, exchanging a glance with Burgdorf, whose eyes glimmered as he gazed warmly at the love of his life. Goebbels dipped his head, and Günsche nodded as well. Jodl lifted his head, while Fegelein smirked.
"Let's go." Hitler's voice was curt and brisk, and each group broke up into their separate operations.
