I looked at myself in the mirror of Kohaku's front walkway, trying to memorize my looks. I was, by my standards, actually kind of pretty. Innocent pretty. And because of that, Kohaku was having a hard time coming up with a name. I had this beautiful, shoulder length golden blonde hair, and these amazing, deep, emerald green eyes. My skin was tan, but natural looking. I was about five foot seven, maybe. And, I lived with a pretty good looking guy too.

"Aha!" Kohaku cried from the other room. I spun around and walked into the room.

"Think of one?"

"Yuki." I looked at him, then started laughing.

"That makes me sound like a little kid." he frowned.

"Then come up with one on your own." I put a finger to my lips, leaning back against the doorframe.

"Yui Matsuoka." he blinked.

"Actually, that sounds good. Good job, you're smarter than me!" I laughed and threw my hands up.

"Huzzah!" he chuckled.

"Alright. So, tomorrow we'll try to find something you're good at." I glared at him.

"Are you implying I'm not good at anything?"

"Totally." he rolled his eyes and got up. Considering it was midnight, he should be tired. And so should I. But I'm not. He said goodnight, then headed off to bed. I ventured outside, then started humming a song I'd heard a lady singing earlier.

"You can take everything I have. You can break everything I am. Like I'm made of glass, like I'm made of paper. Go on and try to tear me down, I will be rising from the ground. Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper." a thump sounded from inside the house, and I turned around to face the window behind me as it slammed open.

"Was that you singing?" Kohaku questioned. I looked at him incredulously.

"If it's that bad, just say so."

"That's the thing, it wasn't. Your singing was amazing!" I smiled sheepishly.

"I guess we know what I'm doing tomorrow." he nodded.

"Now come inside, and go to sleep, you daughter of a lump."

"Don't mock my nonexistant father!" I cried defensively, walking back toward the front door. He grinned, and the window shut.

oOo

Someone tapping on my head woke me up the next morning, and instinctively, I lashed out, smacking someone.

"Ow." my eyes flickered open, and I sat up on my cot.

"I'm so sorry Kohaku!" he laughed, his hand over the red mark.

"Don't worry about it. But get up and come get some breakfast." he left, and I rolled off the bed, then stood up and inspected my clothes. They weren't too dirty. Cracking my neck, I wandered into the kitchen, and grabbed a plate, then pushed my fork into the pancake.

"Is this even cooked?"

"Of course it is. Just eat it, you dope." I made a face at him, then sat down and started eating. Half an hour later, he dragged me outside.

"I've got to go to work. Just go do whatever you want. We'll work on your songs tonight." he ran off, and I blinked.

"What the hell just happened?" shaking my head, I started for anywhere.

Wandering by many small shops, I window shopped, humming to myself. After a few hours of staring through windows, I got lost. Sitting down I plopped down onto the grass, and started singing the song from before.

"You can take everything I have. You can break everything I am. Like I'm made of glass, like I'm made of paper. Go on and try to tear me down, I will be rising from the ground. Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper." someone tapped my foot, and I looked up. An older woman stood by my feet.

"Do you know the rest of that song?"

"No."

"Here are the lyrics dearest. You have a wonderful voice." I smiled and took the paper from her, then scanned it. When I looked back up, she was gone. Blinking, I sang quietly. Two minutes later, someone tapped me on the head.

"Where are you collecting money?" I looked at the man.

"Um... nowhere?"

"Oh. Well, here." he handed me a few coins, and I grinned.

oOo

I exited the house, and started running, Kohaku behind me. I gasped when I saw the crowd gathered around my sakura tree. I slid in behind them, and Kohaku followed, sitting down beside me.

"Sorry I'm late. Someone didn't wake me up."

"No, I did. You just fell back asleep. Idiot." I bit back a retort, but knowing I needed to get started was the sole reason I didn't lash out. I'd been doing this for a week now, and had a schedule.

"Alright. This first song is called Big Girls Don't Cry."

"Yes! I recommended that!" someone in the crowd called. I laughed, then looked at Kohaku, he started playing, and I looked up, trying to remember the words.

"La da da da. The smell of your skin lingers on me now. You probably on your flight back to your hometown. I need some shelter of my own protection baby. Be with myself in center clarity, peace, serenity. I hope you know, I hope you know. That this has nothing to do with you. It's personal, myself and I, we've got some straightenin' out to do. And I'm gonna miss you, like a child misses their blanket, but I've got to get a move on with my life. It's time to be a big girl now, and big girls don't cry. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

"The path that I'm walking, I must go alone. I'm must take baby steps till I'm full grown, full grown. Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they? And I forsee the dark ahead, if I stay. I hope you know, I hope you know, that this has nothing to do with you. It's personal, myself and I, we've got some straightenin' out to go. And I'm gonna miss you, like a child misses their blanket, but I've got to get a move on with my life. It's time to be a big girl now, and big girls don't cry.

"Like a little school mate in the school yard, we'll play jacks and Uno cards. I'll be your bestfriend, and you'll be mine, valentine. Yes you can hold my hand if you want to, 'cause I want to hold yours too. We'll be playmates and lovers and share our, secret worlds. But it's time for me to go, home. It's gettin' late and dark outside. Need to be with myself and center, clarity, peace, serenity. I hope you know, I hope you know, that this had nothing to do with you. It's personal, myself and I, we've got some straightenin' out to do. And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket, but I've got to get a move on with my life. It's time to be a big girl now, and big girls don't cry. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry." I looked up, and my face fell at the people crying.

"Oh please don't cry! It's just a song!" they smiled and tossed me small bags of money.

"It's not that it's a song, dear. It's your voice, and the way you sing. You sing like you know these lyrics. Like this has happened to you." an old man said from the front. I smiled at him.

"Maybe something happened in my life in the World of the Living? I don't know." he nodded.

"What's your next song?" I looked back at Kohaku.

"Um, it's called Hey There Delilah. It's from a guy's point of view, so my voice may sound a little wrong for this song." Kohaku started strumming again, and I closed my eyes to remember the lyrics.

"Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City? I'm a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty, yes you do. Time Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true. Hey there Delilah, don't you worry 'bout the distance. I'm right there if you get lonely, give this song another listen. Close your eyes. Listen to my voice, it's my disguise, I'm by your side. Oh, it's what you do to me, oh it's what you do to me. Oh, it's what you do to me, oh it's what you do to me. What you do to me.

"Hey there Delilah, I know times are getting hard, but just believe girl, someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar. We'll have it good, we'll have the life we knew we would, my word is good. Hey there Delilah, I've got so much left to say. If every simple song I wrote to you would take your breath away, I'd write it all. Even more in love with me you'd fall, we'd have it all. Oh, it's what you do to me, oh, it's what you do to me. Oh, it's what you do to me, oh, it's what you do to me.

"A thousand miles seems pretty far, but they've got planes and trains and cars. I'd walk to you if I had no other way. Our friends would all make fun of us, and we'll just laugh along because we know that none of them have felt this way. Delilah I can promise you, that by the time that we get through, the world will never ever be the same, and you're to blame. Hey there Delilah, you be good and don't you miss me. Two more years and you'll be done with school, and I'll be making history like I do. You'll know it's all because of you. We can do whatever we want to. Hey there Delilah here's to you, this one's for you. Oh, it's what you do to me, oh, it's what you do to me. Oh, it's what you do to me, oh, it's what you do to me. What you do to me." I looked up, and even more people were sobbing.

"Oh my gosh! People! It's just a song! You're making me feel bad!" more small bags of money were tossed my direction, and I turned bright red.

"Please don't pay this much." I called out.

"You sing from the heart." a male voice called out. I glanced to my right at the Shinigami standing there. He wore a white Haori with the number nine stitched onto the sleeve. He also had blood red hair, tied back into a ponytail, with a white towel tied around his forehead. He had small, brown eyes, and black tattoos that vanished beneath his clothes.

"Captain Abarai." Kohaku greeted him.

"Kohaku, you know you're not allowed to foster the new people." Kohaku turned defensive.

"How do you even know she's new?" he questioned. Captain Abarai didn't reply.

"As I was saying, you sing from the heart. You sound like you've experienced this thing, and to people who've felt these things too, it touches them."

"You sound like you're one of those people, Captain."

"Maybe I am." I frowned slightly.

"Alright, people, I'm going to take a short break." I stood up and joined him against the tree, some ways away.

"I have a question."

"Shoot."

"How did you know I was new?" he didn't respond at first, making me think he wasn't going to.

"I... knew you when you were alive." I looked at him.

"Haha, very funny. Is it like, some way I act or something?"

"Actually, you act like someone who's been here forever, but I'm not joking. I can't really say more, because I just can't. Sorry." he disappeared, and I blinked.

"What the hell?"

"Yui, get back here!" I ran back and slid back into my spot.

"Sorry to keep y'all waiting!"

oOo

Afterwards, I wandered around the district. I told the people I wouldn't be here today, but tomorrow I will be. So, wandering now, I wondered vaguely how well Captain Abarai and I knew each other before I died. And if I was forgetting anything important. I stopped in front of a cake shop, looking in.

"Hello again." I jumped and turned around.

"Jesus Christ, don't sneak up on me!"

"You always did scare easy." Captain Abarai commented, smirking. I pouted.

"It's not fair that you know, but I can't."

"You're not allowed to. What's your name now, anyway? It's obviously not the same."

"Yui. Yui Matsuoka."

"Well, Yui, if you're thinking about baking, you can't stay in this low of a district."

"Low?" I questioned, "Kohaku told me there was eighty."

"Yeah, but you're baking is amazing. The nobles would have no problem ordering from you." he blinked. I rolled my eyes.

"You're so weird. You seem like you know everything about me. That kind of disturbs me, though, since I'm not allowed to know anything about myself." he chuckled.

"That's because you're not. And I do know almost everything about you. You're favourite colour is blue. You're favourite flavour of anything is vanilla. You listen to lots of sappy love songs. You love the ocean. You're a very physical person, prone to hitting and smacking. You're verbally abusive. You have a scar on your belly button." I blinked. He did know a lot about me.

"You're weird. I'm going home."

"No, you're not." he gripped my wrist and pulled me back.

"Why not?"

"Because I want to show you something."

"You're so friendly. I thought Shinigami were supposed to be mean."

"We were close before." he responding, flashing off. I screeched, holding onto his waist tight, eyes shut. He tapped my head seconds later.

"You can let go." I shook my head, and he chuckled.

"We stopped moving. Relax." I shook my head again. "You weren't ever this scared before."

"I'm not who I was before! I'm Yui now, not whoever!"

"You're still the same." he pried me off gently, and spun me around.

"Open your eyes." I slowly opened my eyes, then gasped and took a step back into him, away from the cliff edge. We were standing on a cliff that jutted out over the ocean, I guess, and the sky was an array of colours. After a few seconds, I walked closer to the edge, squinting, trying to figure out if I was imagining the colours. Hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me backward. I glanced back, smirking.

"Worried I'm going to jump or fall?"

"A little. You're stupid enough."

"Hey now! I'm not the same as I was before. If I would do that then, I might not do it now."

"You have no idea how close to the edge you were, do you?" I turned pink, and he chuckled.

"Douche bag! You have no right to judge my absent mindedness. Ohmygod, I said I'd be home half an hour ago. I totally spaced out while window shopping."

"I'll take you back, no worries. C'mon." he flashed off again, and I screamed, again, and gripped his waist as tightly as I could. Seconds later, he tapped my head again.

"Let go."

"I hate you!" he chuckled while I let go and stormed into the house. Kohaku looked at me questioningly.

"He's such an asshole it isn't even funny!"

"Who are you so riled up about? Seriously."

"Captain Abarai! He's such an asshat! Just ugh!" I was running low on fuel for my anger, which was the coverup for how I was actually feeling. So, I stormed into my room, and slammed the door. I sat on the bed, anger completely gone now, and stared at the wall. How could it feel so right to be in a stranger's arms? He obviously knew me, very well. And obviously my body knew him very well. So was it only my mind that didn't?

The entire encounter left me wondering just what exactly our relationship had been, and I wanted to ask. But somehow I knew he'd deny me, shut me out, and not talk to me for days. Probably. Why am I making assumptions when I don't even know the guy?

"Oh my fucking God, I'm going bat shit crazy!" I cried, burying my head into my pillow, screaming.

oOo

"Get up, right now. We're late."

"Fuck the what?" I arched my back upward, lifted my head up and looking around.

"Yeah." he fled, and I jumped off the bed and grabbed a new, short, yukata. This one was green, matching my eyes, and was laced with gold trim and designs. I pulled my hair up into a bun, and fled the house, not even caring about food. Kohaku was right after me. I slid out into the street, then ran, and slid again, tripping over someone's foot, and rolling, smacking my head on a glass vase on the ground. It shattered, and I could feel the blood oozing out of the side of my face. I barely registered the pain as I sat up.

"Holy shit, Yui, are you alright?" I blinked, and felt my face.

"Oh yeah. Don't worry about it." I wiped off the blood and stood up, sliding into my spot.

"Are you alright miss?"

"Totally. Don't worry." I grinned, then looked at Kohaku.

"This one is called Yours to Hold."

"I see you standing here, but you're so far away. Starving for your attention, you don't even know my name. You're going through so much, but I know that I, could be the one, to hold you! Every single day, I find it hard to say, 'I could be yours, alone.' You will see some day, that all along the way, I was yours, to hold. I was yours to hold. I see you walkin' by, your hair always hiding your face. I wonder why you've been hurting, I wish I had someway to say, 'You're goin' through so much. Don't you know that I, could be the one, to hold you?'

"Every single day, I find it hard to say, 'I could be yours, alone.' You will see someday, that all along the way, I was yours to hold. I was yours, to hold. I'm stretching but your just out of reach. You should know, I'm ready when you're ready for me. And I'm waiting for the right time, for the day I catch your eye, to let you know, that I'm yours to hold. Every single day, I find it hard to say, 'I could be yours, alone.' You will see someday, that all along the way, I was yours to hold. I was yours to hold.

"Every single day, I find it hard to say, 'I could be yours, alone.' You will see someday, that all along the way I, was yours to hold. I was yours, to hold. I'm stretching but you're just out of reach, I'm ready when you're ready for me." I looked back at Kohaku, then gasped.

"Oh you can't cry too! Seriously! Please don't cry too, Kohaku. I need you to support me here, not break down in tears."

"That song reminds me of when I was little."

"You were born here?"

"Yeah. That's how I was with a girl, in my teens." I shook my head.

"Jebus."

"Sing Big Girls Don't Cry again. I have a friend here who wants to hear it." I looked back into the crowd, and smiled at the silver haired man, obviously the friend. He looked astonished for a few moments.

"Alright. And what am I singing after this song?"

"I want you to try a non romantic song and see if it invokes the same emotion." an older man said.

"Alright. So... what about... I know what to sing. Alright, let's do Big Girls Don't Cry." I glanced back at Kohaku, who was composed again. He nodded, and I turned back to the crowd.

"La da da da. The smell of your skin lingers on me now. You probably on your flight back to your hometown. I need some shelter of my own protection baby. Be with myself in center clarity, peace, serenity. I hope you know, I hope you know. That this has nothing to do with you. It's personal, myself and I, we've got some straightenin' out to do. And I'm gonna miss you, like a child misses their blanket, but I've got to get a move on with my life. It's time to be a big girl now, and big girls don't cry. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

"The path that I'm walking, I must go alone. I'm must take baby steps till I'm full grown, full grown. Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they? And I forsee the dark ahead, if I stay. I hope you know, I hope you know, that this has nothing to do with you. It's personal, myself and I, we've got some straightenin' out to go. And I'm gonna miss you, like a child misses their blanket, but I've got to get a move on with my life. It's time to be a big girl now, and big girls don't cry.

"Like a little school mate in the school yard, we'll play jacks and Uno cards. I'll be your bestfriend, and you'll be mine, valentine. Yes you can hold my hand if you want to, 'cause I want to hold yours too. We'll be playmates and lovers and share our, secret worlds. But it's time for me to go, home. It's gettin' late and dark outside. Need to be with myself and center, clarity, peace, serenity. I hope you know, I hope you know, that this had nothing to do with you. It's personal, myself and I, we've got some straightenin' out to do. And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket, but I've got to get a move on with my life. It's time to be a big girl now, and big girls don't cry. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry." the silver haired man looked like he was about to cry. Not crying yet, but about to. I frowned.

"Can you all stop crying? It's going to make me cry."

"You can't hear the emotion in your voice." Silver haired man replied, moving around the back and coming around to the side. I don't know what it is, maybe the combination of his shoulder length hair, or the slight frame, or the glasses, or the way he carried himself, but all I could think of was that he looked like a wolf.

"That song reminds me of a girl I loved once. She probably would have sang that now, if she hadn't died."

"Died here? I thought you couldn't die here?" he chuckled.

"No, not here. She was in the World of the Living. Burned to death."

"So shouldn't she be here? We could go find her."

"It's fine. What's the next song?" I laughed.

"Oh this'll be good. So I know everything I've been singing is like, slow, easy shit, but this song, is a rock song. Prayer of the Refugee." I heard some cheers in the back, laughed again, and looked at Kohaku. He nodded, then started with the guitar entrance.

"Warm yourself by the fire son, the morning will come soon. I'll tell you stories of a better time, and a place that we once knew. Before we packed our bags and left all this behind us in the dust, we had a place that we could call home, and a life no one could touch. Don't hold me up now, I can stand my own ground. I don't need your help now. You will let me down, down down! Don't hold me up now, I can stand my own ground. I don't need your help now. You will let me down, down, down!

"We are the angry and the desperate, the hungry and the cold. We are the ones who kept quiet, and always did what we were told. But we've been sweating while you slept so calm, in the safety of your home. We've been pullin' out the nails that hold up everything you know. Don't hold me up, now, I can stand my own ground. I don't need your help now. You will let me down, down down! Don't hold me up, now, I can stand my own ground. I don't need your help now. You will let me down, down down! So open your eyes child, let's be on our way. Broken windows and ashes are guarding the way. Keep quiet no longer, we sing through the day, of the lives that we've lost, and the lives we've reclaimed! Go!

"Don't hold me up now, I can stand my own ground. I don't need your help now. You will let me down, down down! Don't hold me up now, I can stand my own ground. I don't need your help now. You will let me down, down down!" I made a quick glance back, and Kohaku held up one finger.

"Don't hold me up!" I held out the up, and he sang the layered part, "I don't need your help, I'll stand my ground."

"Don't hold me up!" we did the same, then I sang, "No! No! No! Don't hold me up!" and we repeated twice, then I moved onto, "Don't let me down, down, down, down, down!" the crowd was very, very, riled up now. I looked back at Kohaku.

"Now what could that possibly make them think about?"

"The Winter War, and their feelings toward Shinigami. A lot of these people are from our district, and we don't have many problems with Shinigami, but some are from the lower, and they have lots of problems. Everyone gets wronged by a Shinigami at least once." I looked at the silver haired man, who seemed lost in thought.

"It would appear I have invoked some emotions."

"I also think you should stick to less angsty songs. We don't want a riot, because you'd get arrested, and they'd start testing you for shit to see if you have a Zanpakuto or something." I looked at Kohaku.

"That's ridiculous."

"What's ridiculous, is what your voice does to people. It seriously sounds like you've experienced all these things, and you connect. This song is about war and stuff, and there is no way you could have connected. There hasn't been a war here in a few years, and in Japan, even longer. So I don't get where the feeling of connection is coming from."

"I don't know. Maybe something minor happened while I was alive."

"Maybe. Okay, so next song. Something mellow?"

"Yeah."

E/N: I think the image of this chapter looks better, don't you? 'Coz I'm shallow like that and love reading pretty things~ and I also fixed a few of the mistakes I missed reading this over... I'm a failure a an ediiiitooooorrr! *falls into an inky, swirly mental abyss, never to be seen or heard from again.* btw, any mis-spellings are 99.99999% likely my fault. ^^ u better review 'dis or I'll throw you into my epic black hole and thou shall never escapeth!

~know something? If someone hadn't ever heard those songs, it's kind of akward reading it... luckily, I know them decently well.

MARK OF EDIT COMPLETION