To Harry James Potter:
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry Harry, for all the times i pushed you down, all the times i beat you up and all the friends that you made so that you would be alone. I'm sorry for all the times i made up something to get you in trouble so that mum and dad would buy me something that i wanted but never used. I'm so incredibly sorry that I always took your food when you were a skeleton and i was a pig. I'm so sorry that i watched you draw a cake in the dust of a stone floor and then proceed to blow out the candles just to wish yourself a happy birthday.
I hope you can forgive me for the times where i took all your stuff and broke it. I hope you can forgive me for the time i blamed you for what i later learnt was accidental magic against me thanks to anger. I'm sorry that i led to you being so abused that you flinch even when your most trusted friends go to tap your shoulder. I hope you can forgive me for the fact that it was me who got you to be so good at dodging.I hope you can forgive me for making you into a emotionally unstable adult. I'm hoping you may one day forgive for the fact that i led to you being able to withstand a magical curse for pain for far longer than most adults, as a teen.
I've been reflecting on my life Harry ever since i became an adult. I learnt how abusive i was being a few years ago. I've been a terrible cousin Harry. I've led to almost everything bad that's happened to you. I may not be smart as other people thanks to my past, I'm never going to be able to make us even Harry. But i want to make a serious attempt at it.
I want to help you live a better life than i have had. I want to live a life you deserve. I want it to be perfect from now on. I want to be the cousin you never had, and the one you needed with Mum and Dad. I don't want to see you as a regret every time i think about Mum and Dad.
Dad is currently in hospital, he wants to see you. he wants to apologise to you with the time he has. He may not make the next year if things don't go well. Mum has nearly shut down. She's cried so much thinking about you and Dad. She's starting to grey now and seems to be unable to even do the housework as normal. I'm taking the best care i can of her but it's hard. She went and updated her will to include you in it. I think she's giving up on life now, she feels guilt and loss every day.
I...
I can't manage my own life Harry. I've been making this letter for a month now. There are so many copies in the bin and they simply don't feel up to it. But I'm running out of time so i need to send one of these.
Harry, i may not have given you the love of a family before. I hope to do so in the future. I'll travel across the world to see you just so i can apologise face to face. But only if you let me.
Sincerely,
Dudley Dursley
