Dan is doing it again, hanging out with other people but always giving looks my way, to see if I'm noticing how much fun he's having without me. We used to be best mates, me and you. What happened? Well, Dan, yes I am noticing; but, as always I'm going to have to act like I don't care, because that's the way the world goes round, isn't it? Because all I seem to do is fake a smile, laugh and say I'm ok when really? I'm not. And when I sit there in class, too tired to interact, I think about how many people around me are doing exactly the same, day in and day out, until finally, they break.
Thats what happened to Dan's sister, Madi. They were inseperable, Dan always looked out for her, but he didn't see the cracks that were forming in her 'perfect'. Her flawless grades were dropping, she wore long sleeves and jeans in the heat of summer. But Dan never saw it, to him; she was perfect. But she really wasn't, she was breaking, falling deeper and deeper into the depths of her mind. The demons played with her soul until finally, she became a demon too.
That was the day Dan didn't come in to class, I was worried. We all got rounded into the school hall, with the headmaster up on the stage. She had red eyes, I noticed. But teachers didn't cry, they were part of the fakers too. They had to keep a smile on their face to stop the kids from worrying. She opened her mouth, to then close it again. I could almost see her brain working to find the right words to break the news, and then she did. 'I have gathered you all here today to bring you some news, terrible news. I am devastated to say that a girl that you all know has passed away, Madi Howell. I won't go into detail, but it was suicide.'
She then went on to say about helplines, what a sad story it was, all the required things to say after a death, but I didn't listen, I couldn't. I needed to talk to Dan.
It turns out Dan hadn't taken it very well, he got depression, started cutting, attempted suicide himself, and that leads us to now.
He slowly broke away from me after Madi died, he told me about what he was doing to himself, but then he ran. Afraid of what I might do, he ran before I could tell him that I cut too, that I attempt suicide monthly, I wish he knew.
I am just another statistic.
