A/N: Okay, so I was looking at pics on DevArt and suddenly, this Ballerina one popped up, and I was like "OH WOW. NESSIE." And yeah. So this is my first Jake/Nessie fic, so if it sucks, you know why. Please review, I know I'd love you if you did. =D And yeah. Nothing else to say. Scroll down.
Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah. The usual nonsense. Don't own a thing. What can we do? Let's have a pity-party!! Or you can just keep reading.
The Rock and the Ballerina
Bella had told her not to. Bella had said that she wouldn't like it, that it would hurt her, that it would be hard, and she'd regret it. Bella had, in other words, been as unsupportive as a parent can be, and considering she's mother to the most wonderful, bright little girl I've ever met, I don't get that bloodsucking woman at all. And I mean I really don't get her. Sometimes, I'd have to say out of the two of them, Edward's been making the most sense when it comes to their daughter. And that's saying a lot, considering how impossible he used to be, when it was about Bella. Now, I guess, Bella's decided to turn on all of us, and return the favour. When it comes to Renesmee, Bella is an impossible as a piece of chewing gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. And I mean the sticky, pink kind, not that stupid rip-off sugar-free stuff they keep trying to force down our throats at school.
So, okay, I get it, to you, this probably doesn't make any sense. I guess I should backtrack a bit, to when Bella decided to become worst than chewing gum. When was that? I have no idea, you sort of lose track of time with vampires. It's pretty easy to forget what time it is, what year it is, all that normal stuff normal people should know on a day-to-day basis. But I guess I've never been quite normal. It's pretty hard to be normal when you're friends with Bella Sw-Cullen. Still haven't gotten quite used to that. Don't think I ever will, even though I got over that ages ago, it still sounds really, really messed up. Makes her sound older too. Which I get a kick out of. I mean, it's obvious Cullen would be an old name. Carlisle's probably older than the Queen of England. And I mean the old one. The really old one. Edward's hissing now. He says there's only one. I don't care. One of them was really old, so Carlisle's probably in her league. So technically, Bella Cullen does sound old, and rightly so.
But I'm not supposed to say that, according to Edward. And I would never have listened to him, if he wasn't, you know, Renesmee's dad and all that. That's a pretty important detail. The kind that makes the whole difference between my staying on good terms with the Cullens and having my ass kicked out of their house, meaning, in case you're slow, that I'd never get to see Nessie. Ever. Can you imagine hell like that? I can't. So I've been listening to Edward pretty good now. Except when he's being unreasonable. Like when he suggested I actually try and learn French or something, because it was Nessie's new thing. I love that girl to bits, and I'd stuff myself into a canon for her, but let's be honest here. My French would sound more like gargling than anything. She did try to teach me a little bit, but somehow, her version of Tu es ma meilleur ami Jacob! became Tordelinibudelay. Don't ask me how. I still haven't quite figured it out. And apparently Edward hasn't either(although he has complete access to how my mind works), which turned out to be a good thing, as he'd stopped suggesting things I should try to learn to keep up with Nessie. That'd be impossible. Carlisle wonders if it's got something to do with the fact I've got that whole unbalanced chromosomes thing going on. And Edward's angry now, explaining it couldn't be that, other whys Nessie's brain would be addled too. Great. Compliments always courtesy of Edward Cullen, eh? Sure, sure... You can all take that to the bank.
So I guess I got pretty sidetracked, didn't I? Let's try to get back on topic here. Bella the new sticky chewing gum. Joy to the World. So this all started a little while ago, maybe a few months after those high-and-mighty Volturi vamps got the hell out of Forks, and went back to Italy. That was a very good day. And, you know, things got better and better, as things usually do, when things go really bad. Edward and Bella were all over Nessie, usually ending up caving to whatever she wanted, although I've seen Edward get pretty angry at her a few times, although he's never told me why. He used to be the tough one out of the two of them. Nessie always had something to complain about when it came to Edward, although it was clear between them, there was a link even stronger than Bella's and Edward's. It almost made me jealous, in a sick, sort of twisted way, but not really. It's always been like that, well, since he decided she wasn't a monstrosity bent on killing Bella off. He spoils her, and he lets everyone else do it too, but secretly, I know he likes when he's the one doing the spoiling. He got her a piano last year for Christmas. And I'm not talking Fisher Price Play-With-Me crap, I mean a really, really nice piano. It's all in mahogany, and apparently it was made in Montreal, which is, I now know courtesy of Nessie, somewhere in Canada. As if I'd never need to know that if I didn't spend almost every moment of my existence with the Cullen family. Anyways, so, he got her this piano, right, and she was so happy. Like, ear to ear kind of happy. She played on it for a week straight, and I mean twenty-four hour kind of straight. It was utter bliss for that adorable little thing. She tried to teach me to play with her, but I figured Edward wouldn't like that too much, he always likes playing with her, and so I played dumb. Or maybe I didn't. I wouldn't know. I didn't pay attention.
But anyways, so life was good, and Nessie was on cloud nine with all of us, and I was allowed to see her every day, and it was really nice. Until the day Nessie began to go through these...fetishes. It was really weird. She'd obsess, strictly for twenty-four hours, over one thing, and it wouldn't go away. And it'd be expensive obsessions, I'm telling you. Once it was an obsession with Italian Tiramisu, and once it was an obsession with antique clothes, and then it was an obsession with breaking Emmet's plasma televisions (what a long twenty four hours it was...) and then it was Harry Winston jewellery, which Edward and I continually blame Alice for. These obsessions lasted for maybe a month or so, and it was getting so ridiculous, we were beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with her. There goes Edward again; he's convinced he, Saint Edward of the Blood-Suckers, never doubted his little baby was normal. Please. I mean, I couldn't find anything wrong with my Nessie, she seemed perfect, always, but it was getting a bit extreme. I figured it was just her childhood catching up with her. So did Carlisle. We couldn't do much except bend to her will, except for the one time, after breaking the third plasma television, Emmet ended up strapping her to a chair and leaving her there until the night was through. I wasn't happy about that. I think I still haven't forgiven him for that.
Bella took all of this in stride, although it was pretty disconcerting for her, being, after all, a person who could barely fathom the idea of buying one plasma T.V. let alone four of them in the span of one night. She and Edward did their best to curve Nessie's obsessions, and she seemed to be getting better, instead obsessing over small things, for the last few weeks of the obsessions, like Disney movies and Japanese music. Then, out of nowhere, the obsessions stopped. She stopped wanting everything. Things went back to normal. She asked politely for things when she wanted them, she accepted 'no' when she got it(although I was never able to say no to her) and things seemed to be normal. Carlisle figured it had to do with her situation in general. As if it mattered. She was a good little girl, and I was proud of her. I figured she must have learnt to control them or something. Until the biggest one of them all came. The one that sent Bella reeling, like the snowball that started the avalanche and killed everyone.
Nessie wanted to dance.
And not little silly dances. She wanted to dance like a pro. Like a prima ballerina. She wanted it so bad I thought she'd tear their cottage down, when Bella said no. I didn't blame her, in a way, with what had happened at her old dance studio with that nomad and all that... I really could understand why she'd oppose her daughter learning ballet. She herself never liked it. Bella always hated the idea of ballet dancing. She was pretty awkward, obviously, so the prospect of standing on her toes, blistering her feet in impossible ways, for the sake of doing a few fancy twirls was heartily unappetizing. I guess it had been building too, the way she controlled herself when Nessie went through her obsessions. But now, this was too much for Bella. She threw a fit, yelling even at her precious Edward, and refusing to handle any reason. I remember how Nessie had come to me, crying, her cute little lips pushed out in a pout. She had touched my face, and showed me how angry Bella had been, and how Edward had tried to reason dancing was a lovely thing for her to do, but Bella hadn't swayed. And I could tell this wasn't one of her little fetishes. Not really. She really wanted this. You could see it in her eyes, and when she touched her hand to my cheek again, she showed me all those pin-thin dancers she'd been watching on T.V. and all the books she'd read about them. She wanted to look like that. Although the being pin-thin part I knew I'd do without. I doubted vampires gained and lost weight anyways.
"Why, of all the things you could like, Nessie, honey, you have to like the one thing your mom doesn't?" I sighed, exasperated. But not with her. Never with her. She knew that. I hugged her small frame, smiling, wanting to show her it was all right. "Well, I guess it proves you're half-human. We never get along with our parents. It's good you're learning it now."
She hadn't liked that. Her little eyes widened and she touched my cheek again urgently, showing me how she always got along with her aunties and uncles and grandparents, and how she loved Bella and Edward, like she loved me. I always loved when she showed me that. It was the best feeling in the world. Like being high, but not having any after-effects, or any regrets. It was the best high ever.
"I know," I laughed. "But there's always something that causes issues between kids and their parents. It's part of life, you know? Besides, Bells'll get over it. Your dad'll convince her. He's good at that kind of stuff."
Nessie seemed to think about it for a moment, her little eyebrows knitted together tightly. She nodded slowly. She smiled, touching my cheek again, showing me how right I was, and how I was always right, and she was worrying for nothing. She hugged me, and ran back towards their little cottage. I thought things would get better, but it always seems as soon as I lay back and relax, Bella ends up throwing me a curveball. This was no exception. Less than a week later, I find myself sitting in Bella and Edward's cottage, talking with them about Nessie. I didn't even get the drama of it, now. Sure, Bella could be against it, but Nessie really did want this. Even Edward could see that now. Bella was being obstinate though, in a ridiculous way mothers are about stupid things.
Edward says I'm wrong again... Anyways...
"I'm not letting Carlisle and Esme spend another four thousand dollars buying her ballet accessories just to have her decide she doesn't care for it anymore. It's getting ridiculous, Edward! You can't honestly thing this is a good idea!" she sounded almost hysterical, poor girl. Obviously she didn't realize to the Cullens, four thousand dollars was like pennies. They had Alice, didn't they? Stocks and all that... Why was I there again? I wanted to be with Nessie...
Edward shot me a glare. He looked back at Bella, and began rubbing her shoulders comfortingly. "She actually does want to learn, Bella. She really does. It's like the piano. I spent a lot of money on that but she enjoys it. If she wants to learn to dance ballet, why should we ever stop her? We've never stopped her before. I know what happened with James-"
"This has nothing to do with James!" Bella said sulkily, which would have made me laugh if I wasn't so anxious this woman was going to interfere with my little Nessie's happiness. It is, and always will be, as essential as breathing to my being, the idea of Nessie being happy. She can never be unhappy, as long as I'm around. Her parents know that. Her parents have, in their own way, accepted that. So if Bella thought for a minute I'd let her get away with denying Nessie the one thing she wanted more than anything right now, she was horribly mistaken.
Again, I earned one of Edward's famous glares, which made me wonder if Nessie would inherit that. I had never been on her bad side, yet, but I hadn't a doubt one day I would be, and I wondered very curiously whether or not she'd look more like Edward or Bella...
"Let's let her try. It'll make Alice happy, to buy the outfit, and it'll keep Nessie busy all day. It's not like she can go to school, so this'll work, won't it? I know Rose knows a bit of ballet, and I'm sure Nessie can pick up the rest on her own...she's graceful enough," Edward said reasonably, some unconscious pride slipping into his tone. Obvious the bloodsucker would be happy his daughter'd got his genes. Mind you, I'm pretty happy about it too. If she didn't have his genes, I'd have to follow her everywhere(more than I do already), trying to make sure she never tripped or something Bella-like.
"Bells, come on, it's not a crime. The girl wants to dance! All girls-most girls-like to dance!" The rest want to be vampires...You know, the one percent that includes you... But I didn't say that. Although I did earn another annoyed look from Edward. I think I was reaching about 4000 of those, since Nessie was born. "Besides, if it makes her happy why not? You guys have an eternity to pay off that four thousand..." Right. I know I was being suicidal, but it was just honesty.
Earning a glare from both, Bella hissed, "Shut up, Jacob Black. Just because Edward's totally pro-imprinting, doesn't mean I am."
"Hey, I never said I was totally pro-imprinting," Edward put in calmly, which I know was a jab at me. His revenge.
Wincing, I backtracked. "Do you know you're looking particularly youthful today?" Edward had taught me that line, for the worst of times. I saw him smirk, and roll his eyes, and I could only imagine what was going through his head...
"If only you knew, Black, if only you knew..." I wished the smirk would disappear sometimes. All the time.
Eventually, Bella did agree to let Edward's family buy Nessie the ballet stuff, and all that, and Blondie began teaching her a bit, flattered, obviously, to show any sign of intelligence. Eventually, though, to my satisfaction, Nessie became better at it than Blondie was, and she required more teaching. Another fight ended up rising, which Edward, with my obviously tactful help, ended up winning. Obviously, the Cullens couldn't technically hire a teacher for Nessie, with the crazy way she grows and stuff. So Edward settled on buying her the entire Prima dvd collection(although it was in Russian. This was Edward's prime excuse to Bella; at least Nessie would be learning two things at once). Nessie cruised through those, and eventually, didn't need to be taught anymore. In the Cullen house, Esme, Emmett and Edward converted Eddie's(-insert Edward throwing pen here-) old room into a dance studio for Nessie, as the living room wasn't wide enough, for the growing girl, and her dancing was beginning to cut into Emmett's sports time. So he said. So Nessie danced all through the year, which was, in fact, going to be the Cullen's last year in Forks, obviously. It wasn't even an option anymore, I would have to move with them. Leah and Seth weren't too happy about that, but they said they'd come and visit us wherever we were, which would be fine with me. I wasn't too damn crazy about Forks anymore anyways. It was pretty boring now, everybody gone to college or too old.
Wow, I'm getting side-tracked again. Back on track, that was three years ago. Now, we live in an even bigger house, somewhere in the middle of, er, well I don't know what it's called, but there's a lot of snow. I think we're in Finland or something. The house is bigger here, in any case, and we live in the country, so the Cullens can even wander around when the sun's out, granted Edward makes SURE there's no humans anywhere. So far, we've had a total of twenty-some sunny days per year, and four human sightings. Pretty good, in my opinion. So bigger house equals bigger space for Nessie. She has her own huge studio, but it's more like a ballroom. It's gigantic. She loves it almost as she loves to dance. Now, Nessie looks a lot older. I mean, really, it's a big change. She's changed so much, sometimes I can't even look at her, and try to keep myself into the mentality that she's still only a child. She's grown so pretty, and I thought Bella was pretty, but Nessie is so much more, no offense to Bells or anything. She's still gorgeous. But Nessie's just special. The way her eyes sparkle, and her cheeks turn pink, and how graceful she is, and how beautiful her voice is, when she uses it. Even when she doesn't, her mental one is just as lovely. It's as poetic as I can get, when I'm with Nessie. It's the best damn thing in the world, although Edward thinks I'm exaggerating. I think he's just trying to keep himself from killing me.
So, the other day, I was sitting with her in her ballroom. It's always a privilege when I get her to myself. She's so loved, among everyone, everyone wants a piece of her. Edward wants to play piano with her, Bella wants to read with her, Blondie wants to teach her to drive(long story), Emmett wants to get her into a arm-wrestle with him...the list goes on. And I know I'm there somewhere, but damn, it's pretty hard to wait. Especially when it feels like we're attached at the hip. It's physical pain. So I treasure the moments I get with her. It's usually when I watch her dance, because I'm the only one with the patience. So she wanted to show me her new routine, which she'd set to a song Edward had written for her (he liked to sit and play his piano up here with her, when she danced). She began her little pliers and twirls and was as adorable as anything, you know, and it looked so dream-like, Nessie dancing, in her little pink costume, her bronze hair pulled into a bun, the sun leaking into the room, the snow piled up onto the windows, glistening white. Again. Poetic. Only with Nessie.
I wasn't paying attention, I guess, or something, because I didn't see how, but in a moment, my angel was on the ground, her foot twisted. She didn't cry or scream, like girls would, she just stared at me, and motioned for me to come over to her. She touched my cheek, showing me how her ankle hurt badly, and how she'd fallen, and it never happened, and she was afraid she ruined her routine for me, or something like that. I didn't pay attention to the rest. I lifted her (she's so small compared to me) and brought her over to one of the benches. It's so quiet, with Nessie. Just the music playing. We didn't talk a lot. She never did, except when she was too far from me to touch me, or something like that. I liked the way she communicated. It was so Nessie. So poetic. I touched her ankle, looking at her curiously. It wasn't awkward, to touch her, like it would be to normal girls. I had conditioned myself to be only what Nessie wanted me to be. I lived solely for her. When she wanted me to be awkward touching her, I knew I would be. But it wasn't now. Now, I was like the best friend. And that's what she needed and wanted. So that's what I was. And I was so damn happy just like that.
"Does it hurt a lot, Ness?"
She nodded, biting hard on her lip. She never did cry. Pain didn't bother her much. She touched my cheek again, showing me that it was sort of better now, but she was afraid she wouldn't be able to dance.
"I'm sure you will, Ness," I cracked a smile. "You'd lose both legs, and you'd still dance. Somehow."
She swapped my arm, rolling her eyes, which read, clearly, Don't joke like that, Jacob Black.
Smirking. I shook my head. "Ness, I'm not joking," I paused, frowning. She touched my cheek again, asking me what was wrong, and then her thoughts changed, in a second, like a jolt, and I saw Bella yelling at her.
"I won't tell her," I nodded absently. It used to be hard, to decipher what she wanted. But now, I knew. It was as clear as if she'd spoken the words. "Besides, you're a hybrid. Don't you have some sort of healing power or something?"
She shook her head, sighing. She touched my cheek again, showing me that she'd have to tell Bella, who' d be furious, and say she was right. I shook my head, wanting to laugh at the innocence of her. "No. She'll laugh, maybe. But we all know you love it, Ness. You wouldn't have lasted this long if you didn't.
She seemed to be considering what I had said. At least, I like to think she was. It meant she was thinking of me, which was, in my mind, very very good news. She gave me a sort of smile, although it was clearly somewhat uneasy. She tried to stand clumsily, leaning against me, her weight nothing. She looked apologetically at me, and I was painfully reminded of how the human Bella had looked at me that way. How, like Nessie, Bella's face had filled with lovely colour, whenever she was embarrassed. But Nessie was so much lovelier. So much more confident. So much more open. And she wanted me. She was not desperate, like Bella had been, in that awful year, when Cullen had left(which he now seems ready to throttle me for mentioning, even if this is only in my head). Bella had needed me. But Nessie wants me. It makes all the difference.
She touched my face again, smiling softly. She showed me how she was glad she had me, and how thankful she was that I would be there, when she would have to tell Bella that she'd been right all along. I laughed. "Oh no. You're on your own, sweet pea. I'm not going to bail you out of this one."
She pouted in the adorable way I had seen her do so many times, on her parents, on her grandparents, on her aunts and uncles. "All right...fine. I'll be there. But I'm not going to bail you out. You know that."
She grinned, and began to skip as ably as someone with a twisted ankle could skip, her hair bouncing behind her.
I had turned out being right. Bella hadn't even been angry. More worried, and then amused, and finally, condescending. Edward's reaction had been more constant. A "Well, next time, you'll know to be more careful, Renesmee," and a kiss had seemed to satisfy him, even though I knew he had been worried, even though a sprained ankle was nothing to get too worked up over. People twisted their ankles all the time. But considering this was Bella's daughter, I suppose, he probably worried it was a sort of presentiment of what was to come. I didn't think so. Nessie was so much more graceful than Bella had ever been.
Now we're all watching her, three weeks later, as she dances her little heart out, Edward playing his beloved piano, to his beloved daughter. I can never get over the looks exchanged between the two of them, or the burning desire to take over Edward's gift, and get into her head. I never know what she's thinking to him, when she twirls, and when he changes the rhythm of his song, what sort of things she tells him. But now, I don't really want to know. Because I know it kills him too, when I get to be alone with her, and Bella won't let him listen to us. I know that we're both caught, but it's not so bad anymore, because I know that we both love Nessie, but there's no competition. There could never be. He's her beloved idol. She worships him. She'd probably quit dancing, if he told her to. She'd do anything to please him, but she doesn't have to. She knows he's pleased with her no matter what. I'm her hero. The rock she knows she'll never trip over, but she can always lean against, when she gets too tired.
And now, her dance finishes, and she bows low, the glitter in her hair sparkling in the light from the windows. Everyone claps, Edward loudest of all, and they engulf her in compliments, and even Bella seems to finally have accepted Renesmee's new passion. I wish they could have seen it so long ago, as I had, when she'd first asked for it. It's funny how people change so quickly. Even Vampires. Edward hugs her close to him, whispering soft things to her, smiling sweetly down at her. But there's no burning feeling of needing to know now. I don't need to know. I hang back, watching her from the shadows, knowing I too would get my chance to praise her. But not yet.
Because I'm the rock, and it's always in the quietest moments that she comes to me. And those moments are the ones I will treasure forever. Because it represents our friendship, our love. And there's no bloodsucker power in the world that can rob me of those moments.
She smiles at me, almost apologetically, as if she feels guilty, I'm not there. I don't want her to be. I nod to her, and she relaxes, going back to her family, basking in their praise of her. I will be patient, because there's nothing to fear now. Nothing to lose.
She's forever mine, I'm forever hers. Nobody can take that away from us. She's my Ballerina; and although I'd never trap her in a music box, I know she's always going to be twirling and jumping just for me, when the doors are closed, and it's just the two of us.
