So, I was talking with someone about deep intellectual things (as I often do) when the concept of a Halloween fic got brought up. I decided I wanted to get in on this, and when I figured out what costumes would be worn, I knew I had to do this in the genderbent Royal Woods…
Enjoy.
"Hey Lynn, can I borrow you for a second?"
The jock looked over his shoulder to see his younger sister Linka standing at the stairs, her palms pressing against the railing. He glanced back at the TV, and grimaced as he realized that he would be missing out on some of the basketball action he was watching. "Sorry, Linka, but I really want to watch this. It's important."
"Come on, Lynn," she whined a little, "This is important."
Lynn sighed, though in his voice it sounded more like a primitive grunt, as he reached for the remote and shut off the TV. He scratched the back of his neck in annoyance, before standing up from the couch. "Alright, alright, keep the floodgates closed."
"Hey Lynn, if you're not going to be watching, can I have the remote? There's a show about Australian toads I wanna watch," asked Leif as he burst in from the kitchen and scrambled to reach for the remote. Lynn, with athletic reflexes, pulled the remote out of the younger boy's grip, and frowned angrily at the young grease monkey.
"Listen, bro, if I don't get to use the remote, no one does," he said as he slipped the device into his pocket, "Learn how to press the buttons on the TV."
Leif blinked. "The what?"
"Exactly. I'm coaching you right now by telling you this. Be thankful," Lynn muttered sarcastically as he walked over to the stairs and to his white haired sister, who could only offer a weak smile as she bounded up to the second floor, Lynn not even bothering to try and be first up the stairs.
Still, he did feel a twinge of annoyance at being the second one up.
The two of them made their way to her room, where Linka immediately rushed over to a pair of packages laying on her bed. "Well, first things first; my orders finally came in," she said excitedly, while Lynn gave her a completely lost look.
"I'm happy for you, but… what did you order exactly?"
"Dang it, Lynn, we talked about this. I swear, it's like it's all farting and sports with you..." she said as she grabbed a small blade laying on her bed and sliced the wrapping around one of the parcels. She removed the plastic and reached in to pull out… a scarlet colored cloak. An oddly familiar looking cloak…
"It's my Halloween costume. I decieed to go as Little Red Riding Hood this year," she explained, pressing it to her chest and measuring it with her eyes, "Remember? I found that deal in one of Loni's magazines for shipping on two separate costumes…"
"Oh yeah. I remember now," Lynn said, scratching his thick, chestnut hair as if he were thinking about it when, in reality, he had completely forgotten.
"So that's why I got these two matching costumes. For the both of us," she said with a sweet smile.
Lynn's eyes widened. "Uh… what do you mean you got costumes for the both of us? I never said I was going trick or treating this year. Come on, Linka, I'm too old for that."
"What? Why not? I get that you're older now, but… can't you do it for me?"
"No way, sis," he said bluntly, "All I'd need is for someone from the rival team… screw that, all I'd need is someone from my team to see me dressed up and any intimidating sway I held over them as a captain is basically gone."
Unfortunately for Lynn, the young girl had expected a lot of resistance from her older brother, and she had prepared a method of attack. "Oh, I get it, dear brother of mine," she said as she looked to the side with disinterest, "You have your sportsman dignity, and I would never get in the way of that…"
Lynn's freckled face brightened up at that. "Thanks. I knew you'd get it Stinka. In fact, I think I'll stop calling you St-"
"… which is why I would never tell Marco about the time you tried out figure skating in a tutu…"
And just like that, the sporty boy's smile came crashing down.
"… or the time you hit your crotch with a basketball so hard you vomited…"
"Ugh, I get your point…"
"… or that time you took some hair and made a ponytail out of it to see what you would look like as a girl…"
"OKAY, OKAY!" Lynn's cheeks with flushed bright crimson with embarrassment, and his ears were burning, "I'll go trick or treating with you. Whatever you want. Just… just don't tell anyone."
Linka smiled at him, with a bit of awkwardness and guilt written on her face. "If it makes you feel better, I wouldn't be blackmailing you if I wasn't sure you would have a good time. Think of it as paying you back for all those time you dragged me outside to play soccer with you."
"I thought you hated that," Lynn grumbled.
"I guess I'm just feeling nice," Linka said with a shrug.
He rolled his eyes, before pointing back at the boxes on her mattress with his thumb. "So I guess my costume's in there. Did you at least get me something cool? Like a hockey mask and a chainsaw?" he asked with a grin, getting excited again.
"Nope. These are theme costumes. And if I'm going as Red Riding Hood… then…" Linka trailed off while staring at him, waiting for the light bulb to go off above his head. And it did.
"Dang it," was all he said as Linka excitedly revealed his wolf ears…
"I'm just saying, I'm thirteen," Lynn grumbled to his namesake, Lynn Loud Sr, "I'm way too old to be dressing up, especially as a fairy tale character!"
"I'm just glad she's not dressing up like a vampire," Lynn Sr. said as he shivered in fear. The two were in the attic, where Lynn Sr. had decided to spend the rest of Halloween after he was spooked by one of Lars' animatronics rats, "Or a ghost, or a demon, or… the Grim Reaper," he whimpered.
Lynn Jr. rolled his eyes. "Uh… Dad. You're safe up here. So can help me get out of this or not?"
"Well, son, look at this from her perspective. She may... have more going on up there than some of you," the middle aged man said as they heard Loni slam into a wall downstairs, "But deep down, she's just a little girl. And she just wants to have some fun with her older brother on one of the holidays, even if it is the worst one. Can't you give her that?" he finished with a soft yet fatherly smile.
His son sighed loudly, his shoulder slumping. "Sure thing, pops."
"Atta boy, LJ," he said with pride, "Now, uh, do you mind locking the attic hatch on the way down? I don't want any of your brother's rats getting in here…"
Lynn grumbled and mumbled to himself as he made his way back to his room, throwing open the door. He flicked on the light switch, and surprised to see Lars wasn't there.
Oh yeah… he's doing that haunted corn maze again. Shame he's not asking us for help like last time… it was fun scaring off those two thugs, Lynn snickered to himself.
But then his eyes fell on his mattress. A hairy canine mask had been thrown on it earlier, along with a dark colored animal suit and, of course, those black wolf ears he was supposed to wear. As much as Lynn didn't like to admit it, he did a lot of things that were pretty embarrassing and immature; after all, a baby burping and farting loudly is cute, but a thirteen year old boy is a different story…
Still, he had some standards. He was honestly ready to chuck the whole get-up into the trash, but one thing stopped him.
Linka.
Every time he imagined himself rolling up the costume into a ball and dunking it into the trash outside (without hitting the rims ha ha!), he would then see Linka's disappointed face as she barely fought back against her tears, and making the odd sniffle while she asked Lynn "Is it really that bad spending time with me?"
"Urgh," the athlete growled, rubbing the sides of his head rapidly, messing up his hair, "Come on. There had to have been someone else who was willing. Why not Lane? He always dresses up like an idiot. Seriously, who the hell dresses up like a mime in high school?"
Ultimately, though, all his sound and fury signified nothing. "I guess I'm doing this, then," he said to himself as he put on the wolf ears on. The band rolled through his hair, and he checked how it looked in one of Lars' creepy mirrors. Surprisingly, it didn't look that bad on him. He chuckled a little; his nickname 'Lynndog' had a whole new meaning…
"Alright, Linka, I'm ready," he called down as he rushed down the stairs. Most of his younger siblings were waiting for him on the couch (except Lars, who was busy with his goth friends on his corn maze), and he checked all of their costumes. As was expected, Leif and Lexx were dressed up costumes that paired; Leif being peanut butter and Lexx being jelly. They were probably dressed up with other costumes as well, underneath those spread disguises, but Lynn wasn't paying that much mind.
His eyes darted towards Levi and Leon, the baby happily giggling and waving his arms up and down in his stitched together outfit, while Levi tried in vain to calm the infant down. "Calm down, younger male sibling, you're getting saliva all over my lab coat."
"Hey Levi, you dressed Leon up as Frankenstein, right?" Lynn noted.
"Actually, I am the one dressed as Frankenstein. He is dressed as the monster. There is a difference."
"You know, every time someone pulls that 'Frankenstein's the doctor, not the monster' at school, I put them in a headlock," Lynn scowled.
"Then perhaps you should keep it in mind, to keep yourself from distributing physical abuse out of ignorance," Levi responded smugly.
"Can you two lay off each other?" Linka jumped in. Lynn had already seen her costume, but it was a different story when she put it on. She hadn't covered her head with the signature red hood yet, so her ashy hair spilled over her shoulders. As for the rest of her, well… she looked pretty good, Lynn had to admit. Almost made him ashamed of what he was wearing…
"Lynn, why aren't you in costume yet?" she asked, turning away from the toddler genius towards him, "Get your wolf suit and mask…"
Never mind. He wasn't ashamed anymore.
"I think the ears are enough," he said, giving one of them a flick with his finger, "Plus I'm wearing dark clothes for once, so isn't that enough for the impression?"
"But Lynn…"
"Think of it as a werewolf," he argued with a shrug.
"For once, Lynn is right," Levi stated, "In some French versions, the word to describe the beast is loup garou, which can be roughly translated to werewolf…"
But suddenly he gave Lynn a sinister smile. "Of course, we'd need to draw whiskers on his face to truly emphasis that aspect…"
"Oh, I'll grab one of Loni's markers," Linka said as she quickly rushed up the stairs. As soon as she disappeared past the final step, Lynn shot daggers at Levi with his eyes.
"The hell you say that for?"
"Because it's true."
"I don't think it is."
"You're right, it isn't," Levi said, before giving his athletic brother an even colder stare than usual, "But I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for Linka. If you insist on being selfish, I'll just have to make up for it."
"The hell you mean I'm being selfish?" Lynn asked, feeling genuinely offended, "I'm going along with her. Trying to make her a little happy and all that…"
"Yet you keep fighting her on everything," Lexx suddenly chimed in, "Can't you just go along with what she says? It's just one night…"
"You guys don't understand. You're way too young to get how embarrassing it is for me…"
"You're right, we are too young to get that. I mean, trick or treating is awesome, even if you grown-ups don't think so," Leif chuckled, earning approving nods from Lexx and Levi, "But we're young enough to understand one thing… how much this means to Linka…"
Leif's words hung in the air, and began hammering away at Lynn's conscience. A long sigh escaped his lips, and he looked at his younger brothers, feeling a bit thankful that they were trying to prevent him from ruining Linka's night out. "Alright… I won't fight her on this anymore. She's my little sis, I gotta look out for her, and make sure she's smiling. Gotta get my head in the game…" he said as he titled his head towards the stairway, smiling slightly…
But then he shot back right towards his four brothers. "But I'm still not wearing the wolf suit. I wouldn't make her wear an animal suit."
"That's fair," Levi said, "That's more than fair."
Thus, when Linka returned back down the stairs, sharp black marker in hand, she was pleased to find Lynn not resisting as she colored his nose and dragged the marker along his cheeks, making straight whiskers. He did have a look of reluctance on his face at the beginning, especially when it began to tickle, but the glimmer in his sister's eyes was enough to tide him through it.
"Alright, everyone, let's get some treats," Linka cheered, her younger brothers enthusiastically grabbing their candy sacks and pocketing small wads on toilet paper.
"Personally, I'm hoping someone gives me a reason to trick," Lexx said with an evil grin, rubbing his hands together menacingly. Lynn chuckled a bit at the younger twin's manic eyes; maybe this would be fun…
As a frigid breeze swept by, and chilled the Loud siblings to their cores, Lynn was pretty glad that he was wearing a cozy sweater instead of his typical red and white shorts and sweat-shirt. Of course, some of the younger siblings he was chaperoning were less fortunate in that regard, but the chill didn't seem to stop them. The little group of trick or treat-ers marched on, going from house to house. The promise of candy turned them into Terminators.
At first, Lynn would stay behind as Linka, Leif, Lexx, Levi and Leon would grab their candies, watching them from the sidewalk to make sure no funny business went down. He couldn't help but feel a little pride; his father was too cowardly to go with them, and everyone older than him had other things to worry about. Just proves yet again that I'm Number 1, he beamed to himself.
After a few houses, however, Lynn found that when everyone went to go get their treats, Linka would stay behind with him. The two siblings would stand side by side as they watched their brothers play their tactics to get more candy. At first, Lynn thought she was just avoiding one of those 'Gives out apples and toothbrushes on Halloween' people, but the fourth time she did it...
"Why aren't you going with the rest of the squirts?" he asked her.
Linka looked taken aback, but she simply flashed him her bag of treats. "I think I have enough. I thought I'd let someone else have a turn... though, knowing you, I think I should explain what giving someone else a chance means..."
"Ha ha," he muttered sarcastically, "Sorry I don't throw you the ball when we play against our bros. I'm just too fond of not losing fifty to one."
Linka scowled, and Lynn grinned smugly at her. "You know it's true, comic girl. Just like I know it's not true that that's your reason."
"Lynn, I promise you..."
"Linka, you're the biggest chocoholic I know. We don't even bring fundraiser chocolate home, cause then we end up paying for it all when you eat it. Now you're telling me you're giving up the chance to get more chocolate?"
The young white haired girl grimaced, and stared off to the side, away from her brother's inquisitive eyes. When she made the mistake of looking back, she found that he had widened his brown eyes, gazing expectantly for an answer. She hung her head back and sighed, before fully turning to him again. "You really want to know?"
Lynn nodded.
"You promise you won't make fun of me?"
"I promise," he said, though his fingers were crossed behind his back.
Linka squinted as she examined his face, making a 'hmmmmm' sound as she checked for any sign of deceit. If she saw any, she clearly didn't care, because all tension escaped her body as she sighed again. "Look, I know you didn't want to come out here, but I'm really glad you did. I just... I just wanted to spend some time with you... on my last time..."
"Last time what?"
"Last time I go trick or treating," she said mournfully, "I'm growing up, Lynn. Next year I'm going to middle school and... I don't know, it just feels weird. So I thought that... if this had to be my last time having fun like this... I'd want you to be there with me," she ended, her lips forming a warm yet sad smile.
"Oh..." was all Lynn could think to say.
"Yeah, I know it has to be really weird for you to dress up like an old fairy tale character," she giggled, "But still... thanks, Lynn."
And with that, the young girl wrapped her arms around her older brother, and squeezed him lightly. He chuckled softly and returned the embrace... causing Linka to cough and choke. "Lynn... you're hurting me..." she gasped weakly.
"Oh, haha. Sorry," he let her go. The boy could sometimes forget his own strength. Until he looked in the mirror and remembered ;)
The two stood in silence as they watched Leif and Lexx rush into the nearby bushes, quickly throwing off their PB and J costumes to switch into their pirate and ninja outfits, before running back to the front door for more sweets. Lynn and Linka were perfectly fine standing their in silence, her red cloak flowing in the wind and his lupine ears fidgeting on his head, as they watched more candy fall into the twins' candy bags...
"Hey Lynn, is that you?"
A rough voice called from across the street, and both Lynn and Linka turned towards the source. Who else but Marco, as well as a few of Lynn's Turkey Jerkie teammates, to see him with a colored-in nose and whiskers? "Dude, are you trick-or-treating? Really?" he asked with Paul and Dean let out a hoarse laughs.
Lynn groaned in annoyance, but then he looked back to Linka. Her blue eyes were wide with a mix of trust and apprehension.
He smiled comfortingly at her, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, drawing her in.
"Why yes, Marco and the rest of you Turdies," he said triumphantly, beaming with a bright Cheshire grin.
"I'm out trick-or-treating with my sister..."
Then Marco took a pic and held it over his head for the next few weeks. The end :D
