we know what we are, but know not what we may be
A Black Butler Fan Fiction
Female Original Character
Summary: She is neither a rose or a lily or a daisy. She is the hedge of thorns keeping trespasses away. Still danger loom from within her country and Susan wonder when life as she knows it will come crashing down.
Warnings: Contain original characters, grammatical errors, typos
Notes: This story contain Canon Character x Original Character pairing
PROLOGUE
Today is one of those rare days when the London sky is blue instead of its monotone grey. The weather is fair and agreeable. There is no weather more perfect than this to go to a picnic. A complete opposite from the storm transpired a couple weeks ago. It's almost as if the world had shaken off the remnants of winter to welcome spring.
Now that spring is here, things about to get busy. Aristocrats from all over the land and beyond will gather in London to participate in the Season. After last year's Season, hopefully this year will be a peaceful one.
Ignore the last statement, hopefully this year will be a peaceful one.
It's a distant dream but surely a girl can dream, right?
Susan is not sure how much she believe that. It's just wistful thinking of her part. With her luck, this year will be even more hectic than the last. And that's saying something, considering last year she-
The carriage suddenly jerk, snapping her out of her reverie. Susan look out to the window. Ah, they're here at last.
Susan step out of the carriage and immediately greeted by their family's maid, Sarah, "Welcome back, Miss Susan."
Susan smiled, "It's good to see you doing well, Sarah."
Sarah help her unload the luggage, which consist of two suitcases and a violin case. After seeing the coachman off, the two head inside. Susan's mother Marie appear on the doorstep as Susan lift a suitcase over the steps.
"Susan! Welcome back!"
"I'm home, Mother."
"Oh, it's you."
The three woman downstairs turn around to see the fourth member of the household. Susan's brother Bertram who is a year older than her. He has his hat under his arm. It appears he is going to spend some time away from the house.
"Now, now, Bertram, is that how you greet your sister?" Marie scold her son.
"It's been awhile, brother," Susan smiled at her sibling.
Bertram didn't even bother to look at her as he walk past them.
"Hold it right there, young man!" Marie grab Bertram by the back of his collar. They can hear him choke. "You can go to the library after you help Susan and Sarah with the luggage."
Bertram click his tongue in annoyance. "Fine." Marie let go of him. Bertram put his hat on the coat hanger. He take the suitcase from Sarah and head toward the stairs. Susan shot the other two woman a weak smile before following suit.
Bertram didn't say anything in the short duration of the two of them going upstairs. Of course, Susan is used to this. Her brother open her bedroom door for her. He put down her suitcase on the floor.
"Thank you, brother," Susan call out for Bertram, who is already walking fast as if he couldn't bear another second in her bedroom. "...See you later."
Her brother didn't show any indication that he heard her. Susan stood there watching his back disappear.
It took her a moment to collect herself before Susan enter her room. Her bedroom look no different than how she last saw it a month ago. Sarah would come in for daily cleaning and change her bed and pillow sheet. Everything else is exactly where they are. Susan set down her other suitcase first and then her violin case.
Sitting on the shelves is her beloved doll, Jane. She is a pretty little thing with brown curls and doe eyes. Susan bring Jane with her to the bed. She sit down and look around the room.
Her collection of Austen novels take the top tier of the bookcase. The globe Father bought her for her 13th birthday. The night lamp that give her a little bit of light so she can write at midnight. A landscape painting of the Scottish highlands so Susan never forget where her family came from. The chaise by the window where she would do her knitting or other craft to pass the time.
It's been only a month but it felt longer than that.
"I'm back, everyone."
It turns out that Susan is not the only who return home from such a long period of time. The eldest child of the family, Charles, show up later in the afternoon. Father picked him up at the train station. The family haven't seen him in months due to his military service. Judging from the shocked expression Mother has, Father and Charles didn't tell anyone of his arrival today.
Before Susan has a chance to greet him, Charles sweep her off her feet. "Su!"
Susan laughs without restraint, something frowned upon in high society. But this is her brother. "Charlie!"
He set her down and give her a kiss on the forehead. He goes to Mother next, whom he pull to a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek, before turning his attention to Bertram.
"I'm glad to see you well, brother," Bertram said diplomatically.
"Now, now, Bertie. None of that hoity toity attitude you learned from school," Charles wrap his arm around his shoulder and fuss his hair. "Did you get taller?"
Bertram struggle to break free but Susan can see the corner of his mouth quirk upwards. "You say that everytime we meet."
"Susan," Father reach out to her. Susan hugs him. "Did they treat you well?"
"Always, Father." And that is the honest truth. She was never mistreated, no matter how demanding her employee can be. One of her coworkers can be a handful but she manages.
They spend the next hour catching up in the living room. Sarah brought over tea and snacks. Charles regal them with the tales of his brother in arms in the Scots Guard. He has been aiming for a promotion for quite some time now. He want to go as high as he can. Mother tease him by asking if he has a special lady in mind. Charles laughed and told them no. A soldier can only get married once he receive permission from his commanding officer. Charles is in no hurry to look for a wife but it never hurt to start saving money now. If marriage doesn't work out for him, that money can be used for his retirement or Susan's dowry.
Bertram told them that he received a recommendation to the university of his choosing. Her second brother want to pursue a career in law. It's respectable, safe, and most important of all, don't require him to stay away from home for too long. Father once served in the military before turning diplomat. Charles decided to follow his footstep. Susan's job is entirely on the whim of her employer.
It's hard not to miss the resentment that is implied in his words. Bertram has never quite let go of the time when their family is scattered to the wind. Father bring Mother and Susan with him to whichever country they assigned him next. Charles and his military adventures. Bertram is left behind in a boarding school in England.
Mother immediately change the subject. "I received a letter from your dearest uncle this morning! He invited us to join him and his family to America!"
"America?" Susan blinked in confusion.
"Yes!" Mother smiles. "It's a trip by boat. Not just any boat, but the maiden voyage of Campania!"
"Campania? As in the newest luxury passenger ship by Blue Star Line? That Campania?" Bertram asked, incredulous.
"The very same!" Mother said eagerly. "It will be a three week trip to New York. The tickets have been paid for. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity!" She then turn to her eldest. "I'm sorry, Charles, but your uncle didn't count you in…"
"It's fine. I understand. The military won't let me go that long anyways… Shame I wouldn't be joining you folks…," Charles let out a dramatic sigh.
"We'll bring you souvenirs," Father said.
Susan can't help but note the irony. Campania, the jewel of the Blue Star Line, is to embark on its maiden voyage so soon after the death of one of its key figure. Patrick Phelps' death was announced in the obituary a few days ago.
"How very nice of Uncle James," That's all Susan has to say in the end. "When is the voyage?"
"The 17th of April."
"That's less than a month."
Mother clap her hands, "We better start packing then," She glances at Charles, "And plan our itinerary while Charles is here."
"And let's not forget to notify our friends and associates of our upcoming trip," Susan adds.
"Yes, yes, of course…"
There is plenty of time to discuss about America so they talk about what they could do while Charles is in London instead. Charles want to check out the newest confectionary by the Funtom Company. Susan wish to visit the Crystal Palace. Bertram want to go boating. Mother want to go shopping. There are also social calls to make.
That night Sarah cooked Charles' favourite food for supper. Father opened a bottle of wine he had saved for special occasions. After supper, the family gather in front of the fireplace. They talk about various things. From something as mundane such as their neighbour's pregnancy to politics with Britain's increasing tension with Germany as the highlight. An odd tension permeates the room once Father brought it up. They were saved by the grandfather clock chiming and Susan bid her family good night. Everyone agree that it's time for each of them to retire for the night and that's that.
Back in her bedroom, Susan changed to her nightgown. But she doesn't head to bed right away. Instead she sit down in front of her desk and pull out paper and pen. She must send this letter first thing tomorrow morning. Her employer must be notified immediately or she will be… displeased. Susan must do everything she can to not earn that person's ire.
Susan wrote her letter, fold it and put it in an envelope. There.
She glance at her vanity. Lying on top of the vanity is a small velvet box. Susan got up from her seat and walk towards the vanity. She pick up the box and open it.
Inside is a badge consists of a red bow with the profile of Her Majesty Queen Victoria, surrounded with brilliant stones.
The Maid of Honours of Queen Victoria are given this upon their appointment. It is a mark of status as well as reminder of duty to the Crown and country. The Double Charles have white in contrast to a Maid of Honour's red.
Susan dearly hope that Her Majesty will be understanding. It's important to spend quality time with your family.
What's this? Another original character fanfic? What about the already other existing stories? I'm so sorry. The plot bunnies just won't stop coming.
The title is taken from Ophelia's line in Hamlet Act IV, Scene 5. Here's the full version of it:
"I'm quite well, and may God give you what you deserve. They say the baker's daughter was turned into an owl for refusing Jesus' bread. My lord, we know what we are now, but not what we may become. May God be at your table."
Also, I want to make it clear that the Maid of Honour in this story is not the same as maid of honour in weddings. It is an actual position in royal households. From what I could gather from my research, the job is pretty much similar to that of a lady in waiting. Only unmarried women can hold such position. Even so, there is historical account that Maid of Honour sometimes run confidential errands for the Queen. One notable example is Harriet Phipps (Charles Phipps' daughter in real life) who had her papers destroyed after her passing for security reasons.
This being the Kuroshitsuji universe, expect Susan and the other Maid of Honours' job to be less... innocuous than they seem.
Thank you for reading
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