A Heart as Loud as Lions
Prologue: A Distant Constellation
Narcissa Malfoy had never in her life been grateful for the existence of the Muggle World before that day. She was raised as a pure-blood, and the concepts of blood status and blood superiority were her biggest beliefs. She despised muggles, muggle-borns and half-bloods. She was more than happy to live in the Wizarding World, surrounded by powerful and rich witches and wizards, but for once, at that exact moment, she found herself relieved and safe in the muggle town of Castle Cary, Somerset. She also had to admit to herself to be very pleased with her sister for choosing such a beautiful place for her home, although she was reluctant to give much space to such a thought.
Trembling with exhaustion and fear, Narcissa covered the distance between the abandoned church where she had disapparated and Andromeda's house, willing herself to hold on to her bravery for a while longer. She knocked, nervously, not fully knowing what to expect. A man opened the wooden door, and Narcissa shivered in the evening wind. She had a speech prepared, but not to him. She needed to talk to her sister.
"Narcissa? Are you Narcissa Black? I'm sorry – Malfoy? I'm Ted Tonks, your sister's husband, I believe we've met once. Please, do come inside."
He moved aside to allow her entrance, and she stumbled forward, squeezing the bundle she was holding closer to her chest.
Ted was a gentleman, she noted. He led her to the sitting room, offered to take her robe and to bring her something warm to drink – she refused both – and didn't ask nosy questions.
"Dromeda is upstairs with our daughter. She's got the flu and is having trouble sleeping. But she'll be here shortly."
Narcissa winced. Andromeda had a daughter. She and Bellatrix had both received a letter following the birth, years before, but she hadn't bothered to read past the second line. So, while she knew from the formal formulation, that reflected her sister's upbringing, that she was an aunt, she hadn't known Andromeda's child was a girl.
Narcissa cleared her throat, thinking it was time for her to talk. It was a particular situation, but she didn't want to pass as rude. "What's her name?"
"Nymphadora Electra Tonks. She turned four in the summer."
Narcissa nodded, wondering what she should say next. "This is my daughter," she revealed, showing the tiny baby to her brother-in-law. "I need your and Andromeda's help, Mr. Tonks." Narcissa did her best to sound nice. There was no denying it, she felt superior and she didn't like the Muggle World nor who lived in it, but looking around the house she had to admit that it was cosy, warm and way more than just decent. She could almost sense the happiness it was full of. Andromeda and her husband were her only choice, and they were a good one even.
"We'll be happy to help you, Mrs. Malfoy. If you will excuse me, I'll go get Andromeda for you."
Narcissa didn't have to wait more than a couple of minutes; before she could even get comfortable on the sofa, Andromeda was in front of her, and they were hugging each other tight.
"Oh, Cissa. I can't believe you're actually here. It's good to see you. I've missed you so much!" Andromeda's voice was an incredulous whisper, and Narcissa closed her eyes for a moment, lost in the familiarity of that loving sound.
"And who is this? Ted said you had your daughter with you. I didn't know you had become a mother! What's this angel's name?"
Narcissa couldn't stop herself: a single tear rolled down her pale cheek, and many others would have followed had she been used to expressing her inner feelings.
"She doesn't have a name," she stated with coldness, trying to regain her composure. "Andromeda, my husband isn't pleased by her gender. He was expecting an heir. A male heir. He was extremely... upset that I gave birth to a girl. Little does it matter that she performed accidental magic mere minutes after her first breath -"
Narcissa's explanation was interrupted by the other adults' gasps.
"She did? That's impressive! What caused it?"
"Lucius cast the Cruciatus on us. I didn't have my wand and I tried to shield her with my body but it wasn't enough. The baby conjured a shield and her magic pushed Lucius across the room and made his wand fly away. She'll be a great witch, someday." Narcissa paused, as a bitter feeling overwhelmed her. "Lucius said I had forty-eight hours to find a solution, after that he'd kill her. By this, he means she has to disappear – or die. We'll fake her death. I'm here to ask you to adopt her. There would be too many questions in the Wizarding World and I don't trust many people. As much as I dislike the idea of my pure-blood daughter here in the Muggle World..." she stopped again, regretting the last sentence. "I didn't intend to offend you. I apologize."
"Narcissa, you're a good person. You are what you were raised to be, but you're also someone very different, deep down. What your husband did to you, and what he's forcing you to do is horrific, horrible and abhorrent. But there isn't much that our society can do to help you. On the other hand, Ted and I will be happy to."
Andromeda flashed her a smile, and reached out to take the bundle from Narcissa's tense arms. "Can I see her, Cissa? My, she's beautiful. She has your eyes and nose."
"So you'll take her?"
"We'll be glad to, Mrs. Malfoy." Ted was also smiling, and Narcissa felt a painful jab at her heart as she pictured her sister's happy family.
"I'm so sorry, sister. Motherhood is a great thing and it's a pity your husband ruined it for you. I'd love to help you in some other way, but I can see there is none..."
"I know there isn't, Dromeda. That's why I'm here. Please, raise her as your own. And congratulations for... Nymphadora, wasn't it?"
Andromeda nodded. "Thank you. And Narcissa, you can come by and see her whenever you want."
"No," Narcissa disagreed, walking herself to the front door. "Lucius will monitor me close. He can't find out about her location, nor her name. Ever. I love you, Andromeda, and I'll miss you. I'll be forever thankful to you for saving my daughter from her certain death, but we can never see each other again."
x
Narcissa Malfoy breathed the air of Castle Cary. She was relieved to be there in the only place she truly considered safe. It was an exaggerated definition, maybe, considering it was only the second time she visited the muggle town, but to her it meant she was away from an everyday hell.
While the first time she visited Castle Cary it was mid-winter, it was almost October now, and she found it to be equally beautiful, if not more, considering she was seeing it in the light of the day. It was different, but also the same.
She walked more steadily, this second time. She knew where to go, and what to say, and what to expect.
This time, a little girl opened the door when she knocked.
"Hello." Narcissa said with a smile. "You must be Nymphadora, Andromeda and Ted's daughter. My name is Narcissa, and I am your aunt."
"Oh. Yes, Mum and Dad told me about you. You're Astraea's other mum."
Narcissa felt a lump in her throat hearing her daughter's name. As asked, Andromeda hadn't contacted her. It was the safest thing. But it was good to have a name for the little face that plagued her mind day and night. Astraea. It was beautiful.
"Indeed I am," Narcissa told her niece softly. "May I come in, Nymphadora? I'd like to talk to your mother and father."
"Mummy!" Nymphadora shouted once inside. Narcissa didn't like it, but she smiled behind the child's back. She also held back a laugh when the little girl's hair changed from brown to turquoise. Leave it to Andromeda to have a metamorphmagus daughter! "Mummy! Aunt Cissy is here!"
Narcissa hated to be called 'Cissy'. She had always been Cissy to her sister Bellatrix, and it reminded her of what the woman had become over the years, eaten alive by the Dark Arts. Narcissa was quite fond of them herself, but she knew when and where to cross a line. Somehow, though, the nickname suited her in that house, and it had another sound coming from her six-year-old niece.
Andromeda, like during her first visit, wasted no time in appearing in front of her and engulfing her in a hug.
"Cissa! Oh, Cissa. Again?"
Again, the lump in her throat. The jab at her heart. The tears that threatened to fall.
"Take her," she said, hoarsely, pushing the underweight baby in the other woman's arms. Her second daughter.
"I'm so deeply sorry, Narcissa."
"Never apologize for something you didn't cause."
There was a pause.
"You're right."
"I need to leave."
"You look weak. Let me get you a strengthening potion, first. Please."
Narcissa obeyed, and sat down, in the kitchen this time. It was as cosy as the sitting room. "Do you like playing with Astraea, Nymphadora?" she asked, unable to stop herself.
"Mm-mh. I do. She's a cute baby. I like being a big sister. Do you want to see our bedroom?"
Narcissa smiled weakly as Andromeda came back in the room. "Another time, maybe. I'm afraid I must leave soon. But it was nice meeting you, Nymphadora."
"Dora, why don't you go get little Astraea? I'm sure your aunt is very eager to meet her."
"No." Narcissa rose at once and jerked away from her sister. "It was nice to meet you, Nymphadora." she added, with a small and forced smile. "Perhaps we'll meet again, one day. Goodbye. And thank you, again, sister."
x
My dearest sister,
it is with great pleasure and immense joy that I inform you of my first son's birth. You now have a nephew, Draco Abraxas Malfoy, our little Heir. He was born a little earlier than expected – two full months – but he's as healthy as a baby can be.
Once again I wish to thank you and your husband for all that you have done to help me and my – now your – daughters. Wish little Nymphadora a good seventh birthday from her Aunt Cissy, and tell her I send her a kiss. I hope she, Astraea and their little sister are all doing well.
I'll put a picture of my Draco here in the envelope, but please, don't write back and don't send me any photograph. It will be hard enough as years pass and I watch Draco grow up, knowing I'll never be a mother to my two daughters. I hope that one day, when they attend Hogwarts, they and Draco can become at least friends, though not knowing the truth. It's for the best.
I wish I had your strength, sister. The strength to admit my mistakes and detach myself from this world of hypocrisy and coldness. I'm glad you were able to choose your own path before it was too late.
With love, Narcissa Black Malfoy
