Ok this is going to be a humor Inuyasha fic, with a splash of romance. It's going to have Characters that are based off of my friends. They are me, as Jade bet you guys would've never guessed that! Oh well I don't want to explain every single character; it would take too long. To be perfectly honest I haven't really kept up with Inuyasha lately, I'm just going to assume they're still traveling around looking for the Jewel Shards, ha, that's when it was the most interesting to watch at least… well here it is!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Inuyasha characters, Jade is the only character that's mine. My friends own their own individual characters.
"I'm soooo not Crazy!"
Chapter 1
Jade was sleeping quite peacefully when she suddenly opened her eyes; which were now glowing silver like color. She saw a man in a blue Monk robes, a woman in a demon hunting suit, a two tailed cat demon, a little boy...no it was a girl; it was impossible to tell with that bow in it's hair. Then the two that freaked her out the most was the one with dog-ears or is it cat ears? She really couldn't tell the difference, and the girl in this green VERY short kimono like thing. It didn't even look like a kimono. Maybe it's a whore outfit of some sorts. Hm who knows? She looked at the odd groups surroundings, it looked like they were walking in a forest near their village. Oh no...What if they're coming to attack our village! I must warn everyone! But really, I need to sleep first! (Authoress: Isn't it great how she doesn't even really care about the village? She'd rather just take a snoozer)She closed her eyes, and she was soon dreaming again.
She was in the forest by her village; she could definitely tell it was their forest due to the two trunked Willow Tree. "Oh no...I'm going to be stuck here until someone wakes me up...poopy, this happened the last time I foresaw something. Stupid comatose..." she heard a grunt by the willow tree. She spun around and fell on her butt. "OWW!" she whined, "Why can't I have normal dreams, and not feel pain!" She casually walked towards the Willow Tree; there laid a man that looked about to be about 18 or 19 years old. She stared at the figure he looked badly injured. He wore black cargo pants with a lot of pockets and he had this black cape thing that was probably supposed to cover him but his entire outfit was torn up. But he still managed to keep half of his face covered with a scarf. He had long green hair, the crown of his head was had a little bit of blood. To add to that he was cut up and bruised from head to toe. She knelt down beside him and almost took off his scarf when suddenly he grabbed for her hand.
She at first let out a little yelp, but then said in a calmer voice, "Hey Soldier how ya holding up?"
He gave her a weird look then let out a laugh, "Ha! Did you just call me a soldier?" He smiled at her, he had steel gray eyes.
"Well usually a man who's this badly injured usually was in a battle of some sorts."
"Well...I've never been called a soldier before, and it seems funny to me."
"Oh so you're not a man protecting this country?" she asked while tilting her head with a slightly curious look on her face.
"Kind of the opposite," he replied while giving another laugh, it was a bitter laugh.
"Well then what do you do?"
"I kill people," he said casually.
"Why?"
"Because I can,"
"Why?"
"Because I'm well trained to fight like that."
"Why?"
He looked annoyed, "Why do you insist on badgering other people about their lives? How would you like it if I kept asking you, 'Oh what do you do for a living?" 'Why?' 'why?' Wouldn't you get annoyed?"
Jade shook her head, "Nope, it'd actually be kind of nice for a change, I'm the my Village's Seer...actually the silly village people themselves think I'm the village idiot. Ha, I see things and try to warn them, and they just ignore me, and when the thing I saw comes they feel like morons..." she trailed off.
"Wow you must get lonely," he said with a look of pity
Jade who noticed the pitying look from years experience replied "Oh no! My best friend and I share the same hut! Her name's Nilkanowen..."
"What's your name though?" he interrupted her.
"Jade, nothing special, compared to Nilkanowen."
"It's still very nice and unique. You shouldn't be ashamed of it," he said smiling slightly.
Jade smiled "Oh thank...OH! Wait! You're injured!" her arms started to wave around, "I don't have anything to help you with! I'm so sorry...wait what's your name?"
He opened his mouth but then...
"JADE YOU LAZY ASS GET UP!"
"Hott man?" she looked around hopefully, but she only saw a girl with long light brown hair, and emerald eyes. "Oh it's just you Nil, why did you have to scream?"
"You wouldn't wake up! You slapped me when I tried to nudge you awake!"
"Oh I'm sorry, I had an odd dream."
"I'm sorry."
"No no it wasn't bad... it was actually kind of nice, it was just a little freaky."
Nil stared at her, "Hn, well whatever. We have chores to do..." she said while looking outside. It was almost the afternoon now Nil shook her head. Jade always slept in whenever she had a vision.
"OH WAIT!" Jade jumped up "STOP! STOP EVERYTHING YOUR DOING! DEMONS ARE COMING TO THE VILLAGE!" she was about to run out of the hut before Nilkanowen tripped her.
"AUGH! YOU'VE TRIPPED ME! WHY? WHY? I HAVE TO..."
"Make a fool of yourself again; they'll never believe you. You know this I know this. Just let the demons come when they come." Nilkanowen said in a calm voice.
Jade glared. "I have to though; they need to be prepared!" she ran again towards the village.
Nilkanowen just sighed. "I better follow the nitwit; she's going to do something she'll regret."
Jade jumped onto a random box of crates. "People of this small and insignificant village!"
"Oh no there goes crazy Jade again," one man grumbled.
"Our village is going to be attacked by demons! We need to get prepared! No matter how weak and powerless we are!"
"Ya know that's not boosting our spirits at all by saying we're powerless..."
"AND WEAK!" Jade added. "We need to at least make bombs..."
"What are bombs?"
"AND WE'RE A STUPID VILLAGE!" Jade concluded while giving a peace sign.
Nilkanowen strolled up and said casually, "Jade, bombs haven't been invented yet, or we haven't discovered it yet."
"Oh we haven't? Oh well...never mind then." Jade said in a slightly crestfallen face.
Nilkanowen patted her back, "Maybe you saw too deep into the future."
"Or maybe the stupid authoress forgot that Bombs were not common at this time."
"Yeah that too."
"FUCK YOU JADE! WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!?!" I yelled down at her ominously.
"PLENTY MORE THAN YOU! YOU STUPID PIECE OF CRAP!!!"
"DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE…"
Nilkanowen sighed, "Can we please get back to this joke of a story?"
"You're right as always Nil," Jade said and continued with her rant, "Anyways...ONE HAS DOG OR CAT EARS I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHICH IS WHICH! THEN THERE'S WHORE LIKE ONE...AND THEN THERE'S THIS IT CHILD! AND A MONK! AND A DEMON HUNTER..."
"Why would a demon hunter be traveling with a demons?" a random man asked.
"Because, she's being controlled." Jade said simply.
"You're crazy," he said in a concluded.
"You're a poopy face." Jade concluded as well in a matter-of-fact voice.
"Yeah she's crazy."
"I am soooo not crazy!" she said while giggling insanely.
"I say we lock her up, and make sure she doesn't have anymore of those crazy 'dreams.' It would be the best for her and the village!" Another man cried out.
"WHAT!" Jade demanded. "You can't lock me up! I can help fight! Aside from Nil and I we're basically the only fighters here. Hm, once again an insignificant village."
Five men grabbed her, and dragged her towards the village's "dungeon". Then they threw her into it. They locked it up and walked away laughing, like it was some sort of joke. Jade ran into the door, trying to break it down. She did this a number of times until she could no longer feel her whole left side of the body. Sooo being the idiot that she was tried her other side, and started ramming with her right.
"You're just making yourself weaker by doing that; what if the demons attacked and you were all beat up by your own stupidity?" Nilkanowen said casually while leaning on the other side of the door.
"If you're just going to criticize me, shut up!" She snapped while holding back tears.
"Oh please, it's not like I can do anything about it."
"I know...I hate it when you're sensible."
"So you hate me all the time? That kinda hurts Jade after all we've been through."
"No no...You know what I mean."
"I know I just like making you think, watching the smoke come out of your head is fun."
Jade laughed in spite of the situation, "Why are we still here?"
"Where?"
"This...this village. It's a hell hole of regular mediocre people, who are afraid of different people..."
"I know I know...listen due to your endless prattering and slamming to the door you've wasted the entire day, you should get some sleep."
"So should you!"
"Right," with that Nilkanowen closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.
Jade soon followed her. She was in the forest again and dear readers guess who she saw?
"Dream Boy!" Jade said cheerfully, "After a crappy day, I sure could use some cheering up."
He laughed again, "Dream boy? Shouldn't you be Dream girl because I'm actually real."
Jade looked confused, "Nooo I'm the real one, you're not real...are you?"
"Yeah I'm real, you are too? I thought when I saw you...never mind."
Jade seemed to have realized something, "Then...are you really by that willow tree?"
"Yeah,"
"OH! I'll be right there bye!" she kissed his forehead; thus making his eyes widen.
The vision ended.
"NIL!" Jade screamed.
"Hm?" Nilkanowen asked tiredly.
"I have to get out of here..."
"Thank you Captain Obvious..."
"No, you don't get it!" she snapped while punching the ground. "Hey this is dirt..."
"No Jade, I won't let you make mud pies again."
"No no! As tempting as that sounds that's not what I meant!" she said excitedly. "I can dig a tunnel!" she grabbed her dinner plate and started digging.
"Hm well for some reason you seem desperate sooo..." she stood up and left.
Ten minutes later she came back holding the key. She unlocked the door, and opened it grinning.
"How'd you get that?" Jade asked in slight awe.
"I played a little mind game," Nilkanowen said grinning. Jade smiled knowing what she meant.
"Come on, we gotta make sure Dream Boy is ok!" she said in a slightly urgent voice.
"Dream Boy?" Nilkanowen said in a confused voice, but Jade was already running towards the forest.
When she finally reached the Willow tree, he was lying there, looking worse than ever. He looked up alarmed. Then he softened, "Hey Jade, come to visit me in my dreams again? Who's your friend?" he asked gesturing towards Nilkanowen.
"This is Nil! I told you about her remember? Oh and this isn't a dream this time. I'm actually here."
"What. The. Fuck." was all Nilkanowen could muster up to say. "How does he know you Jade!?"
"I'll explain later; right now we have to take him back to the hut," she touched his face, he flinched at the touch. "Now, now, do you think I'll hurt you?"
He smiled slightly, "No, I guess not."
"Ok then, he's running a slight fever..."
"Okay, but let's take him to the hut so we can start a fire," Nilkanowen said regaining her composure.
"Can you walk?" Jade asked him.
"A little..." she draped one of his arms over her shoulder.
"Put some of your weight on me,"
He did so. They started limping, while Nilkanowen ran ahead to start a fire and get water for him.
"Well it's good to finally meet ya!" Jade said, sounding far too cheerful for a normal person.
He smiled and said, "The feeling is mutual,"
"Soo...what is you name?"
"Dart," he said.
"Oooh that's a kick ass name!"
He smiled at her, "Thanks."
Nyhaha! I've finished! Once again all of these characters are based off of real people. Nilkanowen is based off of my best friend in the entire world! Dart is based off of a guy friend of mine. They both are brilliant writers. There will be two more characters coming in later. The funny thing is we do act like that on a daily basis, except the whole seeing the future thing...as far as you know! Well Review please and thank you! And if you're going to flame me don't bother, I don't care! ^_^
