The ones ,who love us least, are the ones we'll die to please

Its amazing how one statement can have such a profound effect, I truly know the full meaning of this. Every damn day I have to witness him with his hands all over her. Its sickening seeing them so wrapped up in each other. Yet I know it was my own stupidity that drove her away, straight in to his arms. I regret that day and it tears me apart to know I did this. Some days I can convince myself that she'll realize he isn't worthy of licking her shoes clean and she'll finally see who really truly loves her. Most days though I know that he will always have her heart. Its just so fucking frustrating he has everything loving parents, loyal friends but most of all her love. Me I have no one, my parents couldn't care less, friendless and she hates me. Doesn't seem fair does it?.

This is why I detest every fucking fairytale, Its always the so called hero who wins in the end. The villain ends up bitter and lonely. Who's to say though who's really the hero and who's the villain. If people really looked past the whole noble facade he paints they'd truly see that he's a spineless coward. Not worthy to even look at her yet alone touch her. They never do though he's their twisted version of perfection. I'm just the enemy ,someone to taunt and condemn. That's how it'll always be.

I can hear her now, she's laughing at something he said. I'd always loved her laugh. They exit the hall together and I followed. Its pretty fucked up really , it hurts to watch them yet I cant take my eyes off them. Maybe its God punishing me further for being such a screw up. There kissing now and I cant help but wonder why its raining indoors. It takes me a second to realize it isn't the rain. Then the rage hits me ,but its not aimed at him for once. I was becoming a weak minded fool something my father beat into me often enough. Gritting my teeth I spared one last look in there direction before walking away.

In the safety of my dormitory I performed silencio and began to hex anything in sight. Eventually I forced myself to stop and began to repair everything. Gaining composure I descended in to the common room ignoring the sniggers that were coming from my fellow housemates. It was always like this ever since Lucius graduated they stopped their false pretences of being my friends and I was back to being treated as a common house elf. Once again jealously and resentment ensnared me I can guarantee Potter hasn't ever had to deal with people pretending to enjoy your company.

Looking for quiet I entered the library, nostalgia hitting me as I glanced at the table where Lily and I used to study. Trying to shake of the feeling I settled for a table near the back. Pulling out parchment I tried to concentrate on my transfiguration homework when they came in to the library. Lily was pulling him to our table a pang of hurt hit me. Trying to settle down and work all I could hear was her giggling and him trying to wrestle the quill out of her hand. Throwing the quill on to the table I stood and hastily threw everything in to my bag. Walking out I threw them one final glance and hope enraptured me as she looked straight at me but then it went as soon as it came. She wasn't looking at me she was looking right through me. Storming out I could feel his smug smile. In that moment it hurt more then any of the beatings or taunts. It was like I didn't exist in her mind anymore. It fucking near enough killed me.