Surviving on your own

Author: Therm (AKA Garbage officer)

Rating: PG 13

Summary: Daniel Pierce's thoughts after his son returns from Korea.

Daniel Pierce looked through the pile of mail that had spilled through the letterbox onto the welcome mat at the foot of the door.

He picked them up, sorting the letters into piles for both himself and his son. It was the usual things, bills, a few letters to Hawkeye from women he'd dated before he'd gone to Korea and who had presumably decided that they were interested in him again.

He placed all the mail for Hawkeye next to the telephone for when he eventually woke up. The last letter he came across caught his eye as he didn't recognize the return to sender address at first. It wasn't until he looked at the name on the reverse of the envelope that the initials BJ Hunnicutt struck a chord within.

It was almost as though a bolt of electricity had shot through his body.

Hawkeye had been back from Korea for nearly 4 months now and had so far done nothing to get his life back in order. Daniel was deeply worried for his son. Whenever he tried to talk to him these days, Hawkeye all but bit his head off. It was in sharp contrast to the reunion they'd had with one another immediately after Hawk's return. They had both been very moved but the tears that had come from Hawkeye were not just from happiness at seeing his father again, but he also seemed to have a sadness that followed him constantly.

Daniel wondered how long it would take someone to cope with the horrors of war. For all the mindless violence Hawkeye had witnessed and the horrifying injuries he'd treated he knew that months were not what the process could be counted in, but years.

He deeply hoped that the letter may cause a reaction in Hawkeye. He couldn't see that it could make things worse. If Hawkeye found BJ Hunnicutt's letter frustrating or annoying at least he'd have those emotions to deal with and maybe it would be a turning point for him. He couldn't see how anything could make the current situation any worse than it already was.

Daniel placed the letter at the top of Hawkeye's pile so it would be the first one he'd see and he went into the kitchen to make a coffee.

Hawkeye's eyes were bleary and he couldn't make out the time on the clock next to his bed. He scrunched his eyes a little tighter and rubbed them vigorously before he attempted it again.

This time he could see the hands clearly. 10.27am. That was pretty good for him as most nights he'd woken several times through the night with awful memories of the war. He hadn't woken up once last night and felt truly rested. He'd still had a terrible nightmare but he had at least settled back down and managed to get through a night without disrupting his father.

He felt awful whenever he woke his dad up with his dreams but they seemed to be easing off a little now. For that he was grateful.

He stretched his limbs trying to pushing the sleep out of his body and a few joints clicked and popped as was normal in the morning. Hawkeye sat up from his wonderfully comfortable bed but found that he still had a damn backache. How was that possible? He'd never found a bed more cozy in his life yet now it was wrecking his back. He didn't think that it would ever recover from the torture the Army cots inflicted on it.

He pulled his body from the bed and let his feet find there way into the slippers that awaited him there. He proceeded to make his way to the bathroom and get ready for the day ahead.

After Hawkeye had showered and taken care of all other morning business he left the bathroom to get dressed. He could already smell breakfast cooking downstairs. He knew his dad would be waiting for him to come down before he'd eat anything but Hawkeye still couldn't find the spirit in his body to rush. He went back into his room and dried himself off with the towel before discarding it in the laundry basket in the corner. He moved over to the chest of drawers and pulled out his underwear and slipped a pair of boxers on.

He then grabbed the first t-shirt and trousers he came across from another set of drawers and got dressed.

As Hawkeye made his way to the bottom on the stairs he could hear his dad scraping the bottom of the saucepan, dishing up his breakfast. He spotted his mail in the normal place but left it for now. He continued on into the kitchen where his father was.

"Morning." Daniel said seeing his son enter sleepily.

"Morning." Hakweye replied as he opened the fridge and poured himself a glass of orange juice. He then sat at the table.

"Good night?" He asked as he placed a plate in front of Hawkeye and then another for himself.

"Not bad. Did I wake you?" Hawkeye asked.

"No, that's what made me ask. I just hoped you hadn't stayed up all night. You don't look like you had much sleep." Daniel observed as he began his breakfast.

"Well I'm sorry. Wars don't look good on me." Hawkeye replied, snappier than he liked to be with his father.

"Hawk, I didn't mean it like that." Daniel replied.

"I know you didn't." Hawkeye responded truthfully.

"Eat up. I didn't make this all for me." Daniel said, changing the subject hoping to avoid more upset. He resumed eating his scrambled eggs. After a few bites he noticed he was still eating alone and looked to see why Hawkeye wasn't joining in. "Is there something wrong?"

"I'm not very hungry." Hawkeye replied.

Daniel let his cutlery drop to his plate his a loud clatter. He sighed heavily. "You never seem to be. You know you have to eat properly, Hawk."

"Look, I'm fine. I'll eat when I damn well feel like it!" Hawkeye said, standing up from the table and leaving the kitchen in a huff.

This wasn't the first time they'd gone through this routine. They'd done it too many times already and it was wearing Daniel down. There always seemed to be something that would set Hawkeye off in the day and as he hardly ever went out anywhere , it was always him that the anger was directed at.

He'd tried to get to the root of the problem many times but he just wouldn't talk about it and he certainly wouldn't talk to strangers about it.

Hawkeye re-entered the room, something in his hand. "What's this?" He asked, still sounding angry.

"What does it look like?" Daniel asked, recognizing it as the letter from BJ Hunnicutt.

Hawkeye gave his dad a dark look. "I told you, I don't want to see these letters! Why can't you understand that? Is it that complicated?" Hawkeye took the letter and threw it in the bin before leaving again.

Daniel felt like he was living with a five year old again, with all the temper tantrums that Hawkeye was having. As frustrating as it was to have to live with them, he also knew that getting angry with Hawkeye about them would do nothing to help the situation. He was, however, seriously considering a more drastic approach to the problem.

TBC?