Mike kept staring at his phone. As if he could will it into ringing. He smiled. It was a sad smile. Making Harvey call him was impossible. Making Harvey do anything was impossible. Harvey was in control. Always. Something he loved and hated about Harvey. Like he both loved and hated almost everything about him. The confidence, the grace, the smile, how incredibly sexy he was, how he owned every room he entered. How he never lost his cool. There was never a crack in his armor. He hated it because it always made him feel inadequate. Made him feel that Harvey was so far out of his reach that imagining that he would ever love him was as useless as waiting for the sun to rise in the west.
Harvey cared. But Harvey didn't love. Like some people don't drink or don't smoke. Harvey didn't love. Mike had no clue why not. Maybe it was something that happened in his past or maybe it wasn't even a conscious decision. Maybe Harvey just didn't know how or maybe he just couldn't. Like the sun couldn't rise in the west.
But Harvey did care. He knew that. He cared about him. It was in his smile, in the jokes they shared. In the way they could finish each other's sentences. But that was just a drop from the waterfall. Just enough to make you want to stay there because you knew that it would never taste any better. Nowhere. But it wasn't enough to quench your thirst. It just made you want more.
He sighed and turned off his phone. It wasn't going to ring and begging the universe wouldn't help. Begging also never helped with Harvey. Asking nicely never really made any difference either. In the end you always did what you were told. Harvey did not expect anything else.
He shrugged his shoulders but halfway he suddenly stopped. 'Maybe that's it…' Slowly he lowered his shoulders, walked to his bedroom and sat down on his bed. While the idea began to take shape in his head he laid down on the bed, closed his eyes and drifted off to a world where the sun would rise in the west.
